THE  LIBRARY 

OF 

THE  UNIVERSITY 

OF  CALIFORNIA 

DAVIS 


IN  MEMORY  OF 

HARRY  MONTEFIORE  GOLDBERG 
PRESENTED  BY 
Josa  Goldberg 


H.M.Qoldber 


nis 

BOOK 


Mr  BDCKSTONE  as  LAUNCELOT  GOBBO 
in  the  Merchant  of  Venice. 


BLOBSON'S 

DIRE     MISHAPS 

IM    A 


This    Story   deals   with    the    Humorovis    as 
well  as  the  Serious  side  of  a 

Barn  Storming  Company  on  its  Travels. 


HAMLET. — "  What  players  are  they?" 
ROSENCRANTZ. — "  Even  those  you  were  wont  to 
take  delight  in,  The  Tragedians  of  the  City" 


BY  MORTIMER  M.  SHELLEY, 

Author  of  Tales  from  the  Greenroom,  How  to  Get  a  Wife, 
The  Haunted  Hotel,  The  First  of  April,  &c.,  &c.,  &c. 


A   BRIEF    HISTORY    OF   THE    STAGE 

(WITH  APPROPRIATE  ENGRAVINGS) 

from  the  opening  of  the  first  theatre  in  the  United  States  in  1750  up  to 
the  present  time  will  be  found  in  this  work  under  SHELLEY'S  HISTORY 
OF  THE  STAGE. 

A   DIRECTORY  OF   PLAYERS 

from  1719  to  1891  will  also  be  found  in  this  work  after  page  32  of  the 
HISTORY  OF  THE  STAGE. 

Entered  according  to  Act  of  Congress  in  1890  by  M.  M.  SHELLEY,  Author  and 
Publisher,  New  York. 

LIBRARY 
UNIVERSITY  OF  CALIFORNIA 


Blobson's  Dire  Mishaps, 


CONTENTS. 


CHAPTER  I. 

CHRISTMAS  EVE  AT  THE  PLAY  HOUSE— BLOBSON'S  FIRST  ATTEMPT 
AT  A  REHEARSAL  OP  THE  TENT  SCENE  IN  l  RICHARD  III"- 
A  DISASTROUS  ENDING  FOR  HIM— HlS  ROOM— HlS  LANDLADY 

AND  ALL  THE  BOARDEKS PAGE  1 

CHAPTER  II. 

BLOBSON'S  INTRODUCTION  TO  SOME  PLEASANT  PROFESSIONALS — 
HOW  HE  GOT  AN  ENGAGEMENT — FLYING  INTO  THE  STREET 
FOR  SAFETY .  .PAGE  7 

CHAPTER  III. 

BLOBSON  SECURES  HIS  POSITION— THE  COMPANY  GET  TOGETHER 
— ARRANGEMENTS  TO  LEAVE  TOWN  BY  BOAT — A  LIVELY 
TRIP PAGE  9 

CHAPTER  IV. 

THE  DRAMATIC  COMPANY  ENGAGED  —  BLOBSON  ENROLLED  —  HlS 
REHEARSAL  IN  HIS  BOARDING-HOUSE—TRYING  TO  SMOTH 
ER  DESDEMONA  AND  SETS  HIS  BOARDING-HOUSE  ON  FIRE 

PAGE  14 
CHAPTER  V. 
ANDERSON  KEEPS  PASSENGERS  AND  OFFICERS  IN  A  HILARIOUS  AND 

EXCITED  STATE— SUPPER  IN  THE  CABIN— A  LIVELY  ONE. 

PAGE  18 
CHAPTER  VI. 

THE  STEAMER  "RHODE  ISLAND"  —  THE  COUNTRYMAN  AND  HIS 
WIFE — THE  OLD  MAID—  THE  DOMINIE— ANDERSON,  THE  VEN 
TRILOQUIST—THE  COLORED  WAITER— DOGS  AND  CATS  UNDER 
THE  TABLE— GHOSTS,  GHOSTS,  GHOSTS PAGE  22 

CHAPTER  VII. 

THE  PROVIDENCE  LINE  STEAMER  LANDS  THE  COMPANY— AWAY  BY 
RAIL — WHAT  HAPPENED  BEFORE  QUITTING  THE  TOWN. 

PAGE  25 
CHAPTER  VIII. 

THE  FIRST  NIGHT  OF  "HAMLET"  —  THE  SKULL  SPEAKS  AND 
SINGS  THE  "OLD  SEXTON." PAGE  30 


CONTENTS.  —Continued. 

CHAPTER  IX. 

REHEARSAL  OF  A  NEW  PLAY— THE  SCENF-  ARTIST  REHEARSES 
FKOM  THE  PAINT  FRAME  —  BURSTING  OF  THE  PAINT  POTS 
— ESCAPE  OF  BLOBSON  AND  DINGLE  OVER  THE  THEATRE 
ROOF PAGE  38 

CHAPTER  X. 

THE  OPENING  NIGHT  IN  THE  TOWN  —  DlRE  RESULTS  —  THE  AUD 
IENCE  FLEE  FOR  THEIR  LIVES  FROM  THE  THEATRE.. PAGE  53 

CHAPTER  XI. 

THE  STAGE   REHEARSAL    CONTINUED PAGE  62 

CHAPTER   XII. 

REAL  REHEARSAL— BLOBSON  AND  PROPS  HAD  IN  THEIR  NEW 
BOARDING  HOUSE  DISASTROUS  ENDING  TO  EVERYBODY  IN 
THE  HOUSE  BUT  MORE  PARTICULARLY  TO  THE  FURNITURE. 

PAGE  79 
CHAPTER  XIII. 

ON  STEAMER  WORCESTER— ANDERSON,  THE  VENTRILOQUIST — 
EVEUYBODY  IN  HOT  AND,  IN  FACT,  COLD  WATER — A  CIRCUS 
ALL  NIGHT PAGE  88 

CHAPTER  XIV. 

THE  COMPANY  VISIT  THE  HAMBUKG  STEAMER  —  BLOBSON'S  UN 
FORTUNATE  AND  DIRE  MISHAPS  —  GOES  OVERBOARD  —  MlX 
OF  MEN,  SEA -WATER  AND  THE  WEEK'S  WASH  —  E\RLY 
THEATRICAL  BARNSTORMING — A  BIG  TRICK  ON  LILLY  L-ANG- 
TRY'S  COMPANY PAGE  95 

CHAPTER  XV. 

OVER  THE  EAST  VIRGINIA,  TENNESSEE  AND  GEORGIA  RAILWAY — 
THE  OLD  VIRGINNY  DARKEY,  ins  WIFE,  BOY  AND  YALLER 

DOG— A    YOUNG    CAT    UNDER    THE    SEAT— A    CLUCKING  HEN 
LAYS     AN     EGG — THE     OLD     MAN,     OLD     WOMAN,     BOY     AND 
YALLER    DOG'S    SEARCH     UNDER     ALL     THE     SEATS  — ANDER 
SON,  THE  VENTRILOQUIST PAGE   109 

CHAPTER  XVI. 

OVER  THE  NEW  YORK  CENTRAL  AND  HUDSON  RIVER  RAILWAY— A 
TRAMP  IN  THE  BOX — RAILWAY  AND  HOTEL  OFFICIALS  TO 
INVESTIGATE— LAUGHABLE  AND  EXCITING  SCENES  IN  SEARCH 
ING,  THE  ESCAPE  AT  BUFFALO,  AND  THE  CITY  THROWN  IN 
TO  SPASMS— ANDERSON  THE  PRIME  CAUSE PAGE  117 


CONTENTS.  —Continued. 

CHAPTER  XVII. 

BLOBSON  AND  THE  MULE— A  CABBAGE  THE  CAUSE— AN  UNEX 
PECTED  AND  LAUGHABLE  ENDING  —  BLOBSON  STUMBLES 

THROUGH  THE  STAGE  BY  A  VAMPIRE  TRAP -THE  MULE  GOES 
AFTER  HIM  THROUGH  THE  HAMLET  TRAP — EARLY  DRAMATIC 
TOURS— REACHING  MONTREAL PAGE  124 

CHAPTER  XVIII 

OVER  THE  CANADIAN  PACIFIC— PLAYING  IN  MONTREAL— BRIM'S 
EARLY  THEATRICAL  EXPERIENCES— THE  UPS  AND  DOWNS  OF 
A  BARNSTORMING  ACTOR— ADVANCE  AGENTS,  HOW  THEY 

TRICK  EACH  OTHER PAGE  135 

CHAPTER  XIX. 

THE  COMPANY  IN  DETROIT— How  FLICK  WAS  BUNCOED — GREAT 
DISAPPOINTMENTS— HOW  FLICK  WOULD  RU  V  A  SHOW — 
TRIP  OVER  THE  CHICAGO.  ROCK  ISLAND  AND  PACIFIC  RAIL 
WAY—HOW  BLOBSON  GOT  A  LIVE  BABY PAGE  H4 

CHAPTER  XX. 
OVER   THE    PENNSYLVANIA   RAILROAD -THE   TWO    MYSTERIOUS 

OCCUPANTS  OF  A  SLEEPER— THE  GERMAN  IN  THE  SLEEPER— 

THE  NEGRO  PORTER  IN  THE  SLEEPER — ANDERSON,  THE 
VENTRILOQUIST,  IN  THE  SLEEPER — HOW  IT  ALL  ENDED. 

PAGE  115 
CHAPTER  XXI. 

THE     VENTRILOQUIST     ATTENDS     AN     AMATEUR     PERFORMANCE    OF 

"  RICHARD  in." — AUDIENCE  AND  ACTORS  GET  BADLY  MIXED  - 
POLICE  !  POLICE  ! PAGE  103 

CHAPTER  XXII. 

LEAVING  BY  THE  OLD  DOMINION  LINE — ARRIVING — THE  OLD 
BATTLE  FIELDS— A  LONG  RUN  OVER  THE  ATLANTIC  COAST 

LINE  AND  BACK    TO    WASHINGTON— BtUM    TELLS    ANOTHER 

STORY PAGE  170 

CHAPTER  XXIII. 

OVER  THE  NEW  YORK  AND  NEW  ENGLAND  RAILWAY — BLOBSON 
NEARLY  CHOKED  AT  DINNER PAGE  179 

CHAPTER  XXIV. 

TRIP  TO  TROY  AND  OTHER  TOWNS  -  BLOBSON  AND  FLICK  TRAP 
PING  BEAR  AND  SCALPING  INDIANS,  TRAPPED  AND  NEARLY 

SCALPED— CLOSE  OF  THE  SEASON PAGE  183 

"  SHELLEY'S  HISTORY  OF  THE  AMERICAN  STAGE,  FROM  1750  TO 

1890  "  FOLLOWS  CHAPTER  24    PAGE  186 

"  THE  DIRECTORY  OF  THE  LEADING  PLAYERS,  MANAGERS,  STARS 
AND  STOCK  ACTRESSES  AND  ACTORS.  FROM  1750  UP  TO  1891,'' 
WITH  THEIR  AGES  AND  PLACES  OF  BIRTH  WILL  FOLLOW  AFTER 
THE  •<  HISTORY  OF  THE  STAGE." 


BLOBSON'S  DIRE  MISHAPS, 


CHAPTER     I. 


CHRISTMAS  EVE AT  THE  PLAYHOUSE — A    VERY  DISASTROUS 

REHEARSAL  AT  BLOBSON?S  BOARDING  HOUSE. 

|HE  famous  old  bell  in  the  City  Hall  Tower 
on  Broadway  was  ringing  out  the  hour  of 
twelve  and  the  refrain  was  caught  up  by  St. 
Paul's  and  Trinity  Church  further  down 
Broadway.  Yes,  it  was  the  hour  of  midnight.  Christ 
mas  Eve  had  passed  and  Christmas  Day  was  here.  All 
who  were  out  of  doors  at  this  hour  seemed  joyful  and 
contented,  wishing  each  other  a  Merry  Christmas  and  a 
Happy  New  Year.  Some  were  carrying  home  their 
Christmas  turkey,  goose  or  duck,  while  others  were  load 
ed  down  with  presents  for  the  little  ones.  The  Herald, 
Sun,  World,  Times,  Tribune,  News  and  Press  buildings 
were  resplendent  with  their  thousands  of  lights,  every 
window  on  Broadway,  Park  Row  and  Nassau  street 
being  illuminated;  while  the  American  News  Building 
on  Chambers  street  stood  out  in  bold  relief  from  tne 
lights  in  City  Hall  Park. 

In  the  Bowery  the  walks  were  swarming  with  people, 
from  the  millionaire  to  the  tramp.  The  snow  was  fast 
falling  and  the  wind  was  keen,  making  the  extremely 


2  BLOBSONS     DIRE     MISHAPS. 

poor  pedestrians  draw  their  few  garments  closer  to  their 
bodies. 

At  the  Old  Bowery  Theatre,  the  night  in  question  was 
a  memorable  one,  Mr.  J.  B.  Studley  appearing  as  "  Jack 
Cade  "  and  "  Richard  the  Third." 

The  place  was  packed  from  floor  to  ceiling  with  human 
beings.  The  Combat  scene  between  Richard  and  Rich 
mond  had  just  closed,  the  curtain  had  fallen  and  the 
entertainment  for  the  night  was  over.  In  the  pit  and  on 
the  right  side  of  the  orchestra  sat  a  very  peculiar  looking 
genius.  His  name  was  Septimus  Biobson,  a  shoemaker  s 
apprentice,  whose  whole  mind  was  wrapped  up  in  ama 
teur  theatricals,  with  a  soul  above  the  last,  and  only 
awaited  the  coming  day  when  he  would  soar  above  even 
such  men  as  Mr.  Studley.  To  continue  pegging  away,  to 
eke  out  a  miserable  existence  in  the  shoe  and  leather  line, 
was  not  to  be  thought  of.  Nature  had  made  him  of  dif 
ferent  material  and  he  was  resolved  on  a  change  and,  ere 
a  week  passed,  he  joined  an  amateur  club — "  The 
Forrests."  Not  having  a  hall  of  their  own  to  discuss 
dramatic  matters  in,  they  were  allowed  the  use  ot  a 
portion  of  Cobweb  Hall,  on  Duane  street,  near  Broad 
way.  The  portion  of  the  house  to  which  they  were 
allotted  was  used  for  "  Free  and  Easy  "  entertainments, 
and  when  not  so  engaged  the  "  Forrests  "  were  at  liberty 
to  murder  Shakespeare  to  their  own  liking.  Biobson 
felt  that  his  great  experience  (which  consisted  of  going 
to  the  Bowery  Theatre  every  Saturday  night)  entitled 
him  to  play  all  the  leading  parts  in '  the  Shakesperian 
plays  the  club  was  to  produce  that  season,  while  nearly 
every  other  member  claimed  an  equal  privilege  to  first 
choice.  Certainly  but  little  headway  could  be  made  in 
the  advancement  of  the  drama  if  this  state  of  things  con 
tinued.  The  landlord  of  the  place,  hearing  their  excited 


BLOBSONS      DIRE      MISHAPS.  3 

discussions,  concluded,  if  there  was  not  an  amicable  ad 
justment  of  affairs,  the  "  Forrest  Club  "  would  be  a  thing 
of  the  past  and  he  would  be  a  loser  to  the  extent  of 
various  pots  of  beer  and  pipes  each  evening.  Having, 
at  one  time,  been  in  the  "  hammature  "  way  himself  and 
on  several  occasions  played  the  torch  bearer  in  "  Romeo,'' 
Wanango,  a  dumb  Indian,  in  the  "  Jibenainosy,"  and  the 
part  of  a  bear  in  a  Pantomime,  he  felt  competent  to  offer 
professional  advice. 

His  idea,  as  he  informed  the  members,  was  that  each 
one  should  play  a  leading  part  one  night  in  the  season. 
This  appearing  satisfactory,  more  beer  and  pipes  were 
called  for  and  they  adjourned  to  meet  the  following  week. 

Blobson  concluded  to  go  to  work  at  once  on  "  Richard  " 
and  be  in  readiness  for  the  opening  night;  having  pur 
chased  a  copy  of  the  book,  he  concluded,  before  retiring 
that  night,  to  have  a  rehearsal  in  his  room.  Stealing 
silently  to  his  apartment  (luckily  escaping  the  vigilance 
of  his  landlady,  Bstsy  Slimmers)  he  slipped  into  his  room 
and  quickly  bolted  the  door.  The  room  was  very  small, 
about  seven  feet  by  nine,  with  only  space  for  a  wash- 
stand,  chair,  bedstead  and  a  few  other  articles.  The 
adjoining  room  was  the  same  in  size  as  Blobson's,  and  the 
landlady  not  being  able,  when  she  made  two  rooms  out  of 
one,  to  put  in  a  partition  composed  of  brick  and  plaster, 
substituted  a  photographer's  sky-light  which,  to  her 
method  of  reasoning,  was  just  as  satisfactory,  and  she'd 
like  any  of  her  boarders  to  offer  any  objections.  Nobody 
did  ;  they  wouldn't  dare  to. 

Blobson's  next  door  room  mate  was  a  very  bibulous 
individual,  extremely  nervous  and  easily  frightened.  He, 
it  appears,  had,  on  the  night  in  question,  gained  ingress  to 
the  house  in  a  stealthy  manner  (not  wishing  to  meet,  in 
his  very  uncertain  condition,  the  redoubtable  Betsy  Slim- 


4  BLOBS  ON 'S      DIRE      MISHAPS. 

mers).  Having  escaped  the  vigilance  of  this  lady  he  tum 
bled  into  his  room,  and  before  Blobson  arrived  was  snor 
ing  as  loudly  as  a  boiler  shop  in  full  swing;  all  of  which 
Blobson  was  familiar  with,  consequently  he  paid  no  at 
tention  to  the  home-like  sounds.  He  was  there  for  a 
purpose,  and  that  was  to  rehearse  his  part  of  "  Richard 
the  Third."  The  snoring  of  his  friend  was  to  Blobson 
sweet  music;  he  could  recite  his  part  in  as  high  a  key  as 
he  desired  without  fear  of  rising  Slimmers'  anger,  who 
would  not  recognize  his  voice  while  his  neighbor's  fog 
horn  was  in  full  operation.  Blobson  was  extremely 
timid,  and  particularly  so  when  near  Betsy  Slimmers,  as 
she  had  already  given  him  warning  on  three  different  oc 
casions  to  quit  her  house  on  account  of,  as  she  termed 
it,  his  crazy  acting  in  his  room.  Certainly  this  style  of 
address  to  a  respectable  boarder,  as  well  as  a  timid  one, 
did  not  tend  to  heighten  her  in  his  esteem  nor  to  in 
crease  his  valor  in  her  presence. 

His  adjoining  room  mate  played  the  bass  drum,  cym 
bals  and  bells,  in  Harvey  Dodworth's  Band,  and  he  was 
also  ordered  out  of  the  house  on  account  of  his  leaving 
his  vile  instruments  of  war  in  the  passage  way.  A  truce, 
however,  was  patched  up  by  his  agreeing  to  hang  up  his 
instruments  of  noise  on  the  partition  which  divided  his 
room  from  Blobson's.  On  the  night  in  question,  Betsy 
Slimmers  was  taking  her  first  nap,  and  at  peace  with  the 
whole  world,  and  the  other  occupants  were  no  doubt  in 
a  like  condition,  when  Blobson  started  in  for  his  grand 
rehearsal,  "  The  Tent  Scene,  from  Richard,"  where  Rich-- 
ard  is  discovered  asleep  upon  his  couch,  and  while  lying 
there  the  spirits  of  his  victims  appear  to  him  and  up 
braid  him  for  his  crimes  ;  he  starts  up  from  the  couch, 
looks  about  him,  clutches  his  sword,  and,  rushing  down 
the  stage,  falls  upon  one  knee — the  left  one — cries 


DIRE      MISHAPS.  5 

out,  "  Give  me  another  horse,  bind  up  my  wounds,  have 
mercy,"  etc.  It  was  this  scene  Blobson  had  in  his  mind 
for  the  evening's  rehearsal.  Not  having  a  sword,  he 
picked  up  a  long,  old-fashioned  warming  pan  as  a  sub 
stitute.  This  he  took  in  his  right  hand,  blew  out  the 
candle,  jumped  on  the  bed  and  commenced  to  roll  and 
toss  as  if  in  the  agonies  of  a  terrible  night-mare;  and 
when  he  thought  the  time  had  come  to  rush  sword  in  hand 
down  the  stage  and  cry  out,  "Give  me  another  horse," 
he  had  forgotten  \he  short  distance  the  partition  or  the 
photographer's  skylight  was  from  his  bed,  and  in  the 
darkness,  warming  pan  in  hand,  he  made  the  rush  to  go 
down  stage,  and  went  through  the  glass  partition,  carry 
ing  with  him  the  warming  pan,  and  succeeded  in  land 
ing  himself,  the  pan,  the  partition,  bass  drum,  cymbals, 
string  of  bells  and  wash  stand  on  top  of  his  adjoining 
room  mate.  The  shock  was  so  sudden  and  unexpected 
that  the  bass  drummer  yelled  like  a  wild  indian  ;  the 
drum,  cymbals  and  bells  rolled  off  the  bed  on  to  the 
ftoor,  which  succeeded  in  rousing  the  whole  house. 
Blobson  made  a  rush  for  tMe  door,  and  in  the  darkness 
struck  the  drum  with  his  foot  and  started  it  down  the 
stairway,  and  at  every  step  it  gave  further  alarm  ;  first 
the  drum,  then  the  bells  and  cymbals  (being  tied  to 
gether)  crashed  from  one  step  to  another.  In  his  fright, 
the  bass  drummer,  who  thought  a  train  of  cars  had 
struck  his  room,  ran  yelling  down  the  stairs ;  not 
seeing  the  drum  in  the  passage  way,  he  fell  over  it, 
striking  Betsy  Slimmers,  who  was  rushing  up  stairs. 
The  contact  was  so  sudden  and  unexpected  that  both 
fell,  and  both  screamed  the  louder,  while  the  drum,  cym 
bals  and  bells  continued  on  down  four  flights  of  stairs. 
At  every  step  the  noise  seemed  to  increase  and  intensify. 
So  great  had  become  the  excitement  of  the  boarders  over 


6  BLOBSONS     DIRE      MISHAPS. 

the  terrible  visitation  of  the  crashing,gnnding  and  to  them 
destructive  agency  that  had  visited  the  house,  that  some 
ran  for  the  roof,  while  others  were  "lowering  themselves 
from  the  windows  by  bed  cords  and  quilts.  The  police 
had  been  called  as  well  as  the  firemen,  and  when  the 
house  was  visited  in  the  morning  it  was  as  if  a  whirl 
wind  had  waltzed  around  the  inside  of  it.  As  for  Blob- 
son's  room  and  the  adjoining  one  belonging  to  the  bass 
drummer,  it  would  seem  as  if  a  can  of  gunpowder  had 
been  exploded  in  it.  Blobson  anticipated  Miss  Betsy 
Slimmers  might  possibly  not  care  to  serve  him  with 
room  and  board  in  the  future,  and  wisely  determined 
discretion  would  be  the  better  part  of  valor  and  sought 
elsewhere  for  a  more  congenial  home.  As  for  the  bass 
drummer,  he  concluded  for  the  sake  of  peace  and  quiet, 
a  home  where  adjoining  room  mates  are  not  permitted 
the  privilege  of  filling  their  rooms  with  deadly  explosives 
would  be  more  in  accordance  with  his  views  ;  so  he 
thought  it  better  to  remove  himself  into  another  board 
ing  place,  and  he  did. 


CHAPTER     II. 


BLOBSON'S  INTRODUCTION  TO  PROFESSIONALS   AND   WHAT 
CAME  OF  IT. 

JFTER  the  unsuccessful  rehearsal  at  Betsy 
Slimmers  on  the,  to  him,  eventful  night, 
Blobson  concluded  to  make  the  acquaintance 
of  one  or  more  professionals  and  see  if  lie 
could  not  obtain  an  engagement  with  a  traveling  com 
pany.  Stepping  into  a  well  known  public  resort  on 
Broadway  and  glancing  at  the  amusement  columns  of  a 
morning  paper,  he  found  the  following  advertisement  : 

"  A  Treasurer  wanted  for  a  dramatic  entertainment. 
Capital  required,  $75.  Call  at  591  Broadway,  between 
ii  and  2." 

This  was  the  very  number  of  the  house  he  was  in  and 
it  was  now  i  P.  M.  Stepping  to  the  desk,  he  enquired  of 
the  clerk  the  name  of  the  party  who  published  the 
advertisement  he  had  just  seen  in  the  paper. 

"  You  will  find  him,"  said  the  clerk,  "  seated  at  the 
third  table  on  the  left." 

Without  more  ado,  Blobson  introduced  himself  and 
stated  the  nature  of  his  call. 

"I  can,"  said  Blobson,  "furnish  the  required  capital 
you  advertised  for  if  the  entertainment  is  all  right  and  I 
have  the  privilege  of  playing  in  the  Company." 

*'  Why,  my  boy,  "  (a  familiar  expression,  used  by  this 
speculator  on  other  people's  money,  Manager  Bunsby 


8 

Snib  by  name)  "  you  can  have  your  choice  of  any  of 
the  leading  parts  in  Shakespeare.  How  will  that  suit 
you?" 

"The  very  position  I  am  seeking.  I  will  be  frank 
with  you.  I  am  only  an  amateur  but  my  ambition, 
sir,  is  as  boundless  as  the  ocean.  There  is  no  part,  sir, 
in  the  minor  or  standard  or  even  Shakespeare  that  I 
would  hesitate  to  enact  at  a  moment's  notice  Mr.  Booth 
and  others  of  his  class  are,  well,  passably  fair  in  their  way, 
but  I  can  assure  you,  in  strict  confidence,  I  can  easily  give 
them  points.  By  the  way,  have  you  arranged  when 
your  company  will  start?"  Said  Blobson. 

"The  company  and  printing  are  all  ready;  our 
route  laid  out,  and  we  are  now  only  waiting  to  en 
gage  a  treasurer  who  can  deposit  the  amount  of  money 
as  advertised  for;  not  to  be  expended  by  him  but  merely 
held  as  security  for  the  good  conduct  of  his  employee. 
Thousands  of  dollars  would  pass  through  the  treasurer's 
hands,  weekly,  and  sometimes  daily,  when  two  perform 
ances  were  given,  and  lie  felt  it  his  duty  to  himself  and 
his  company  to  be  in  some  way  secured,"  said  Snib. 

"  You  are  right,  sir,"  and  (opening  his  wallet)  "  there  is 
the  amount.  Now,  when  will  my  duties  commence  ?" 

"To-morrow,  which  will  be  Friday,  although  con 
sidered  an  ominous  one,  I  don't  mind  such  things.  Yes, 
meet  me  here  at  10  A.  M.,  and  we  will  start  for  our  first 
town." 

"  'Tis  well— 10  A.  M.— till  then,  farewell." 

Blobson  was  on  hand  the  next  day,  and  the  next,  but  the 
manager  never  came,  and  Blobson  has  a  lingering  thought, 
"that  the  manager  evidently  met  with  some  terrible 
misfortune  or  he  would  have  been  on  hand  at  10  A.  M." 


CHAPTER     III, 


BLOBSON    INTENT    UPON     SEEKING     OUT    AN    ENGAGEMENT — 
GETS  ONE. 

|NE  day  while  Blobson  was  in  the  Metropolitan 
Hotel,  corner  of  Broadway  and  Prince  street, 
he  heard  angry  voices  in  the  rear  part  of  the 
house  where  the  cafe  was  located, and,  walking 
in,  he  found  a  large  portly  gentleman  in  discussion  with 
another  as  to  the  merits  of  Mr.  Forrest,  in  "  Metamora." 
He  was  appealed  to  for  an  opinion.  Being  a  stranger, 
and  with  but  little  knowledge  of  theatrical  matters,  he 
was  obliged  to  decline,  but  told  them  if  they  would  join 
him  at  the  bar  first  and  discuss  the  matter  afterwards, 
it  might  prove  more  agreeable.  .This  was  assented  to; 
introductions  followed,  and  he  found,  to  his  great  sur 
prise,  he  was  in  the  company  of  well-known  professionals. 
A  few  more  appeals  to  the  bar  and  they  became  quite 
confidential.  He  told  them  what  he  was  seeking  and 
invited  the  gentlemen  to  his  room,  59  Lispenard  street. 
He  concluded  to  do  the  handsome  thing,  and  on  the  way 
he  stopped  in  at  the  "Star"  and  ordered,  over  to  his  room, 
a  proper  supply  of  refreshments.  After  a  few  hours  in 
the  room  and  all  feeling  better  for  the  meeting,  it  was 
agreed  by  Mr.  Brim  to  get  Blobson  a  position  in  the 
company  now  making  up  for  the  road.  If  he  would  come 
over  to  his  rooms,  76  Allen  street,  that  evening,  where 
they  both  kept  bachelors'  hall,  the  matter  could  be  dis- 


io  BLOBSON'S    DIRE    MISHAPS. 

cussed  at  their  leisure.  Brim  and  Anderson  took  their 
departure  and,  at  five  P.  M.,  Blobson  was  on  hand.  A 
light  lunch  was  partaken  of  and,  after  a  pleasant  evening, 
Blobson  became  satisfied  his  star  was  in  the  ascendant. 
"  No  sir,"  said  he,  while  on  his  way  to  his  room  in  Lispen- 
ard  street.  "  One  day,  and  that  is  not  far  distant,  I  will 
rise  to  the  topmost  round  of  that  great  and  glorious  pro 
fession  to  which  all  amateurs  aspire  but  few  ever  reach. 
When  I  do  reach  the  dizzy  height,  I  will  make  managers 
run  after  me  and — " 

Where  this  speech  would  have  ended  no  one  could  tell, 
had  it  not  been  for  an  unruly  dog  running  between  his 
legs  and  landing  our  friend  Blobson  in  a  most  unwhole 
some  puddle  in  the  street.  His  reverie,  for  the  time 
being,  was  dissipated,  and  he  wandered  to  his  lodgings, 
covered  with  mud  and  dramatic  energy. 

He  called  upon  Brim  the  following  day  and  told  him 
he  had  concluded  to  follow  the  profession  of  which  he, 
Brim,  was  a  leading  representative.  Being  somewhat 
morose  and  misanthropical,  Brim  did  not  greet  him  as 
cordially  as  he  wished,  and  Blobson  knowing  his  slight 
failing  suggested  a  retirement  around  to  a  cafe  adjoining 
Niblo's  Theatre  on  Broadway.  Thither  they  went,  and 
after  an  hour's  rest  at  one  of  the  tables,  it  was  agreed 
that  he  would  be  one  of  a  company  that  was  to  leave 
New  York  in  a  day  or  two. 

As  the  manager  had  not  yet  arrived,  he  concluded  to 
step  out  and  prepare  himself  for  the  coming  hour  which 
was  to  be  to  him  the  grandest  moment  of  his  life.  While 
ruminating  over  the  grand  and  glorious  future  in  store 
for  him,  he  nearly  fell  down  an  areaway  left  open  by 
some  miscreant  no  doubt  purposely,  as  he  said,  to  cause 
the  death  of  some  innocent  person.  A  moment  more 
and  he  would  have  stepped  into  that  fearful  mantrap 


BLOBSON    S     DIRE      MISHAPS.  II 

had  not  Anderson,  who  was  passing,  warned  him  of  the 
danger.  Brim  soon  came  in  sight  and  said  he  had  just 
left  the  manager,  and  he  felt  sure  Blobson  would  be 
booked  to  go  as  general  utility  in  "  The  Never  Get  Left 
Dramatic  Combination."  After  Mr.  Brim  had  borrowed 
ten  dollars  from  Blobson,  he  desired  him  to  again  visit 
the  dramatic  agent's  office  on  Broadway,  see  the  mana 
ger  and  arrange  for  the  trip.  B.dding  each  other  a  hasty 
adieu  they  separated.  Reaching  the  dramatic  agency 
Blobson  enquired  if  Mr.  Bluff ington,  manager  of  "The 
N.  G.  L.  D.  C.,"  was  in.  ''Well,  no,  sir,"  said  a  dapper 
looking  party  who  had  just  been  in  conversation  with  a 
very  pretty  young  lady  and  an  old  lady,  possibly  her 
mother.  "No,  sir;  but  if  you  will  be  seated  you  will 
see  him  in  a  few  moments."  The  only  seat  unoccupied 
at  the  time  being  the  coal  box,  that  was  accepted. 

The  room  was  hung  around  with  pictures  represent 
ing  actors,  actresses,  bills  of  theatres,  circuses,  minstrel, 
and  others  of  that  class.  The  proprietor,  Mr.  Brown, 
was  a  very  genial  and  affable  person,  and  was  very  busy. 
Several  of  those  in  the  room,  in  fact  nearly  all,  were  en 
gaged  in  chatting  away  about  their  success  on  the  road, 
while  others  were  waiting  for  new  engagements.  An 
hour  was  passed  away  very  pleasantly,  when  a  gentle 
man  made  his  appearance,  and  appeared  to  be  in  a  hurry. 
"Ah,  Brown,"  said  he,  "caught  you  in  this  time,  eh  ? 
Well,  now,  I  want  a  full  company  to  go  on  the  road  at 
once  ;  can  you  supply  me  ?" 

"  Yes,  sir,  and  in  post  haste." 

This  attracted  the  attention  of  all  in  the  room.  "Who 
is  he  and  what  is  he  ?"  came  from  all  sides  in  whispers. 

In  a  few  moments  they  entered  the  agent's  private 
office.  The  agent  looked  out  into  the  company's  sitting 
room  and  called  a  Miss ,  who  was  up  in  leading 


12  BLOBSON    S     DIRE      MISHAPS. 

business.  This  made  the  other  ladies  stare  and  show 
envious-  glances,  a  few  of  them  exchanging  disparag 
ing  whispers.  Out  the  leading  lady  came  with  an  en 
gagement  written  on  her  face,  and  into  the  street  she 
went  very  pleasantly. 

The  one  who  played  heavies  was  next  called,  and 
when  she  returned  she  was  glowing  with  smiles.  **  Yes," 
said  she  to  a  lady  friend,  "I  am  engaged;  where  else 
could  they  find  another  '  Lady  Macbeth '  like  me?"  and 
out  the  street  door,  the  heavy  lady  passed. 

Brim  and  Anderson  then  made  their  appearance,  and 
were  shortly  ushered  into  the  presence  of  the  new  man 
ager.  In  about  five  minutes  they  again  returned  bring 
ing  the  agent  out.  ''Mr.  Brown,"  said  Brim,  "  this  is 
Mr.  Blobson,  who  will  just  fill  out  your  company." 

Blobson  felt  under  many  obligations  and  so  expressed 
himself  at  this  announcement.  Rushforth,  at  this  mo 
ment  recognized  Brim  and  the  greeting  was  pleasant. 
"  I  see,"  said  he,  "we  are  to  sail  in  the  same  boat." 

"And  you,  my  boy,  I  presume,  will  play  your  usual 
comedy  business?"  said  Rushforth. 

"  Oh;  yes.     The  same  old  business,"  said  Brim. 

"By  the  way,  Sammy,  who  is  our  dramatic  young 
friend?" 

"Oh,  this  gentleman  is  Mr.  Septimus  Blobson." 

"  Rushforth,  Blobson.     Blobson,  Rushforth. 

"  He  goes  with  us  for  respectable  business." 

"Am  delighted  with  his  acquaintance,"  said  Rushforth. 

The  conversation  had  hardly  ended  when  the  new 
manager  made  his  appearance.  He  was  of  a  peculiar 
mould,  a  very  black  moustache,  a  striking  nose,  very  dark 
eyes,  crisp,  curly  hair,  very  stout  in  build,  and  in  height 
about  six  feet.  His  costume  was  dark  checkered  pants, 
vest  and  coat,  white  hat,  with  a  weed  o  it,  red  neck-tie 


13 

patent  leather  shoes  and  a  great  variety  of  pawn-broker's 
jewelry  was  scattered  over  his  vest  and  fingers.  No 
doubt  he  felt  that  he  would  produce  a  sensation,  and 
did,  among  a  certain  class. 

"Well,  Colonel,"  said  the  agent,  addressing  the  man 
ager,  "I  have  filled  up  your  company  and  now  you  can 
arrange  with  your  people  as  to  particulars.  The  room 
adjoining  this  is  at  your  service." 

"Are  the  people  all  here?  "  said  the  manager." 

"They  are,"  said  Brown. 

"Then  inform  them  to  call  upon  me  in  the  adjoining 
chamber." 

As  each  one  was  called,  they  answered  to  their  names, 
entered  the  temporary  sanctum,  settled  their  affairs  with 
the  doughty  manager  and  returned,  once  more,  into  the 
general  office. 


CHAPTER     IV. 


THE     DRAMATIC     COMPANY     ENGAGED — BLOBSON    ENROLLED 

AS     ONE     OF     ITS     MEMBERS — HIS     REHEARSAL      IN      HIS 

BOARDING-HOUSE — TRYING     TO     SMOTHER     DESDE- 

MONA  AND  SETS  HIS  BOARDING-HOUSE  ON  FIRE. 

JVERYTHING  being  arranged  as  to  the  com 
pany,  the  management  felt  quite  happy. 
The  next  thing  to  do  was  to  lay  out  a  route 
for  the  "  Never  Get  Left  Dramatic  Company  " 
to  go  over.  This  matter  was  finally  turned  over  to  the 
advance  agent  who  claimed  that  he  knew  every  fence  post 
and  telegraph  pole  from  the  Atlantic  to  the  Pacific,  and 
the  shores  of  Canada  to  the  Gulf  of  Mexico.  He  had, 
as  he  stated,  pioneered  shows  through  the  Sierra  Nevadas, 
down  into  the  valleys  of  Mexico  and  Yucatan.  This 
gentleman's  name  was  Tollitymus  Flick  but  his  friends 
called  him  Tolly  and  he  admired  the  abbreviation  and 
smiled  when  thus  addressed. 

"  Yes,"  said  he,  "  I  once  corralled  a  portion  of  a  hostile 
tribe  of  Indians;  there  were  one  hundred  in  all.  I  took 
them  to  a  mining  camp,  twenty  miles  away,  and  com 
pelled  them  to  go  through  their  war  dances,  scalping 
scenes,  marriage  ceremonies  and  smoke  dances.  There 
was  no  hall  in  the  place  large  enough  to  hold  the  500 
miners  encamped  there;  so  I  opened  my  show  on  the 
prairie,  staked  off  a  ring  for  my  performance,  and  acted 


DIRE      MISHAPS.  15 

as  my  own  door-keeper.  Would  you  believe  it,  gentle 
men?  I  had  an  audience  of  over  1,500  miners." 

"  What?     1500  people,"  said  Brim. 

"  Yes,  sir;   1500  people,"  said  the  advance  agent,  Flick. 

"  How  you  could  get  an  audience  of  1,500  out  of  500, 
puzzles  me,"  said  Brim. 

"  Why,  easy  enough.  The  Indians  could  go  through 
six  separate  acts.  When  they  had  completed  two  acts,  I 
would  announce  the  show  as  being  ended;  but  another 
would  commence  right  on  the  same  ground  in  fifteen 
minutes.  All  those  wishing  to  see  it  would  have  to  pur 
chase  tickets  at  the  ticket  office,  outside.  I  would  then 
mount  my  box,  which  was  at  a  short  distance  from  the 
Indian  camp,  sell  the  house  over  again,  so  that,  in  three 
hours  and  forty-five  minutes,  I  had  played  my  Indians  to 
1,500  people.  A  very  easy  thing  when  it  is  worked  the 
right  way  and  by  a  proper  worker.  My  motto,  gentlemen, 
is,  *  I  never  get  left.'  " 

And  his  listeners  were  of  the  same  opinion. 

"  Well,"  said  Brim,  what  did  you  do  with  your  Indians 
after  the  show?  Did  you  pay  them  for  the  performances 
and  go  on  any  further?" 

"  Pay  them  for  the  performances?  Why,  certainly  not. 
I  just  told  them  that  the  section  of  country  they  were  in 
was  filled  with  gold,  diamonds  and  other  precious  stones 
and  I  suppose  they  are  still  there,  digging  for  them,  for 
aught  I  know." 

The  manager  engaged  passage  on  the  Providence 
and  Stonington  line  of  steamers,  and  on  the  follow 
ing  evening  they  were  to  start  for  their  destination. 
The  announcement  to  Blobson,  by  the  manager,  to  be 
in  readiness  was  the  most  glorious  news  he  ever  listened 
to.  He  did  not  walk  to  his  room  after  the  interview, 
he  fairly  ran,  in  order  that  he  might  be  all  ready  on  the 


16  BLOBSON'S    DIRE    MISHAPS. 

morrow.  His  luggage  consisted  of  one  valise,  and  when 
fastened  it  contained  all  his  worldly  possessions.  He 
tried  to  sleep  that  night,  but  the  thought  of  some  day 
being  a  great  actor  banished  sletp  ;  he  was  like  "  Rich 
ard  III  "  at  the  battle  on  Bosworth  Field,  eager  for  the 
fray.  Do  what  he  might  he  could  not  sleep,  so  he  re 
solved  to  rehearse  a  scene  from  "  Or/hello,"  the  chamber 
scene  where  the  Moor  smothers  Desdemona.  The  bed 
on  which  he  slept  was  all  very  well,  but  the  bedstead 
was  a  little  the  worse  for  wear;  one  of  its  legs  had  got 
broken  in  some  way,  and  the  landlady  not  being  able  to 
have  it  repaired  substituted  a  piece  of  board,  a  sort  of 
a  temporary  affair,  what  some  would  call  a  make-shift, 
for  a  few  days.  He  commenced  the  scene,  however,  and 
just  at  the  close  he  seized  the  pillow  with  his  right  hand 
and  the  kerosene  lamp  with  his  left,  stole  softly  to  the 
bedside,  laid  the  pillow  where  Desdemona's  face  was  sup 
posed  to  be,  and  instead  of  pressing  it  gently  as  they  do 
on  the  stage,  he  threw  his  whole  weight  upon  it.  The 
bedstead  gave  way,  so  did  he,  coming  down  with  the 
broken  legged  bedstead  with  a  crash  that  must  have 
been  heard  a  block  away;  the  lamp  upset,  the  clothing 
took  fire,  when  he  seized  his  hat  and  valise  and  ran 
down  four  flights  of  stairs  into  the  street.  By  the  time 
he  reached  there  crowds  were  rushing  about  the  door. 
The  police  and  firemen  soon  appeared,  the  fire  was  soon 
under  control  and  quiet  was  q-uickly  restored.  Not 
having  the  courage  to  go  back  and  explain  the  cause  of 
the  accident,  he  walked  the  streets  the  balance  of  the 
night.  The  morning  papers  gave  an  account  of  the 
affair,  that  he  would  not  soon  forget.  "The  fire  in 
Lispenard  street,"  said  one,  "came  very  near  ending 
not  only  in  the  loss  of  several  valuable  buildings  but 
the  lives  of  a  large  number  of  persons.  The  miscreant, 


•   BLOSSOM'S     DIRE      MISHAPS.  17 

the  perpetrator  of  this  horrible  outrage,  not  only  in 
tended  to  burn  the  building  but  take  human  life  by  mur 
derous  explosives,  as  the  room  which  this  fiend  occupied 
was  actually  shattered  and  torn  to  such  an  extent  that 
it  would  lead  people  to  believe  there  must  have  been 
not  less  than  fifty  pounds  of  powder  used  in  his  hellish 
work.  The  landlady  informs  us  that  she  knows  neither 
his  name  nor  former  address,  as  the  room  was  occupied 
by  him  only  a  few  days." 

He  read  no  further,  but  immediately  made  his  way  to 
the  boat  and  remained  in  concealment  till  the  hour 
of  starting,  and  when  that  hour  arrived  he  felt  as  if  an 
iron  foundry  had  been  lifted  from  his  body. 

"  All  aboard!"  sung  out  the  captain,  and  they  were 
shortly  in  mid  stream,  puffing  away  down  North  River. 


CHAPTER     V. 


ANDERSON  KEEPS  PASSENGERS  AND  OFFICERS  IN  A  HILARIOUS 

AND  EXCITED    STATE    WHILE  EN  ROUTE  TO  PROVIDENCE 

— FIRST    TRIP    OF    THE    DRAMATIC    COMPANY — AT 

SUPPER      IN      THE      CABIN AND      IT      WAS 

A    LIVELY    ONE. 

JOHN  ANDERSON,  who  was  in  the  bills  for 
walking  gents,  was  a  wonderful  ventriloquist, 
a  fact  not  known  to  the  company.  He  was 
very  quiet  and  reserved,  and  had  a  habit  of 
attending  to  his  own  affairs;  certainly  a  very  commend 
able  attribute.  Standing  near  the  ticket  office  after  the 
boat  started,  and  apparently  immersed  in  his  own 
thoughts  his  attention  was  attracted  to  a  negro  who  was 
endeavoring  to  get  a  reduction  in  passage  rates  which 
the  clerk  would  not  or  could  not  agree  to,  when  the  fol 
lowing  dialogue  took  place  : 

"  I  tole  you   sah,  dat  I  is  a  spectable  culled  gemman, 

and  de  pasture  ob  de   'First  Crow  Hill  Mefodis  Church,' 

in  Brooklyn,  and  I  zires  a  ticket  at  reglar  rates  same  as 

all  bredderen  of  de  Lawd,"  said  the  colored  man. 

VENTRILOQUIAL  VOICE:  "  That's  right. '' 

"Yes,    I    knows    it's    rite."     On     turning    round    to 

see  what  friend  upheld  him,  he  encountered  a  fidgetty 

old    lady   on   her   way  to    the    ticket   office,   carrying  a 

basket    in   one  hand    and  an    umbrella  and    satchel    in 

the   other.     When   spoken   to   by  the  colored  man,  who 


DIRE      MISHAPS.  19 

asked  her  if  it  was  she  who  claimed  he  was  right,  the 
old  lady  was  so  agitated,  not  knowing  whether  the  man 
waj  under  the  influence  of  alcohol  or  insane,  she  inad 
vertently  dropped  the  basket,  and  the  plaintive  cry  of  a 
cat  who  seemed  to  know  it  was  in  a  strange  place,  came 
forth  from  the  aforesaid  basket. 

This  was  a  cue  for  Andenon,  who  threw  his  voice  be 
hind  the  negro  in  imitation  of  two  tom-cats  fighting. 
Meow -row -spit-  spit-  mew-ow-row-wow-spit-spit-spit  ! 
The  negro  jumped  into  the  air,  the  old  lady  fainted,  the 
cat  in  the  basket  caught  up  the  refrain,  the  clerk  rushed 
out  of  his  office  to  kill  the  cats  who  had  so  wonderfully 
appeared  on  the  boat,  and  the  negro  ran  for  his  life  to  the 
other  end  of  the  boat.  Anderson  quietly  strolled  off  and 
left  the  old  lady  to  exj  1  un  why  she  had  brought  a  bas 
ket  of  Tom-cats  on  the  boat. 

One  table  was  reserved  for  the  members  of  the  com 
pany.  Anderson,  however,  found  a  vacant  seat  at 
another.  A  young  couple,  who  appeared  to  have  re 
cently  gone  through  the  evolution  of  matrimony  and 
had  been  spending  their  honeymoon  at  some  city 
friend's  house  (a  prevalent  custom  with  country  people) 
and  now  on  their  way  back  to  their  mountain  home,  sat 
opposite  him.  Her  husband  kept  urging  her  to  order 
what  she  wanted,  and  she  would  reply,  "  Oh,  no,  John, 
you  order."  John  kept  on  persisting  and  she  on  her 
part  declining,  which  was  very  amusing  to  the  rest  of 
the  passengers  but  decidedly  trying  and  in  fact  wearing 
to  the  waiter  behind  their  chairs.  Anderson  was  very 
hungry,  and  as  only  one  waiter  attended  at  this  table 
he  and  the  others  must  wait  till  John  and  his  lady  were 
served,  so  he  concluded  to  hurry  up  matters.  Throwing 
his  voice  at  the  waiter  (who  was  standing  there  as  still 


20  BLOBSON    S     DIRE      MISHAPS. 

and  silent  as  a  statue  on  a  monument)  the  words  came 
forth  in  stentorian  tones  to  John. 

"  Ef  youuns  don't  gib  your  order  you'd  better  get  up." 

"  What  did  you  say,  sir  ?"  said  John. 

11 1  sed  nuffin,  sah." 

"  Did  you  not  say  if  I  did  not  give  my  order  I'd  better 
get  up  and  give  others  our  chairs  ?''  exclaimed  John. 

"  I  dun  nebber  said  a  wud  sence  you  an  you  leddy  sat 
down,  sah  ;  no,  sah,  I  has  betta  broutin  up  dan  dat." 

•'  Well,  there  is  some  mistake,  however,  you  can  bring 
us  what — what  do  you  say,  dear,  will  it  be  meat,  vegeta 
bles  and  coffee  or  tea?" 

"Oh,  order  any  thing  you  like,  John." 

"  Now,  my  dear,  just  tell  me  what  to  order." 

"  You  know  I  don't  want  to  let  these  people  think  I'm 
boss  ;  no,  you  order." 

Anderson,  and  in  fact  all  of  the  others  at  the  table, 
were  getting  considerably  worked  up  over  the  unneces 
sary  delay.  Acting  from  the  impulse  of  the  moment, 
Anderson,  imitating  John's  voice,  ordered  coffee  for  two, 
with  mush  and  potatoes.  Off  the  waiter  started,  and 
was  back  again  in  a  flash  with  the  order,  placing  the 
food  before  John  and  his  bride. 

"  Look  here,  darkey,  I  didn't  tell  you  to  bring  these," 
said  John,  pointing  to  the  dishes. 

"  Deed  you  did,  sah;  I'sea  temperance  man  and  knows 
when  a  gemman  gibs  an  order." 

(i  You  tell  me  again  that  I  did  and  I'll  throw  them  at 
your  head." 

ANDERSON  (in  bride's  voice)  :  "  You  did  give  the  order, 
John,  I  heard  you." 

"  What  is  that  you  say,  my  dear  ?"  said  John. 

"  I  did  not  speak,"  said  the  bride. 


21 

To  lady  sitting  next  to  him  :  "Was  it  you,  madam, 
who  told  me  I  ordered  those  dishes  ?" 

MAIDEN  LADY  (with  the  cat  in  basket)  :  "  Sir,  I  never 
address  a  person  without  a  formal  introduction  ;  keep 
away  from  me  or  I'll  scream." 

"  Don't  you  put  your  hands  on  my  husband,"  said  the 
bride. 

ANDERSON  (sotto  voce  as  if  from  old  maid):  ''You're  no 
lady." 

"John,  did  you  hear  that  old  maid  say  I'm  no  lady  ?" 
said  the  bride. 

"  Look  here,  madam,  I  want  you  to  understand  my 
wife  must  not  be  insulted  by  you.'' 

ANDERSON,  to  John  :  "  Go  out  and  drown  yourself, 
you  are  a  nuisance." 

This  seemed  to  come  from  a  dominie  sitting  at  the 
end  of  the  table. 

"I  don't  know  who  you  are,  sir,  (to  the  dominie)  but 
you  look  like  a  respectable  clergyman,  and  if  it  were  not 
for  that  I  would  take  pleasure  in  settling  this  insult  by 
calling  you  out." 


CHAPTER  VI. 


ON  BOARD  THE  STEAMER  "  RHODE  ISLAND  " THE  COUNTRY 
MAN  AND  HIS  WIFE THE  OLD  MAID — THE  DOMINIE — 

ANDERSON,     THE     VENTRILOQUIST THE     COL 
ORED      WAITER THE      DOGS      AND      CATS 

UNDER       THE       TABLE  —  LIGHTS      GO 
OUT GHOSTS,    GHOSTS,    GHOSTS. 

JNDERSON  fearing  a  murder  might  be  com 
mitted  if  John  and  the  clergyman  were  al 
lowed  to  continue  their  wordy  war,  threw 
his  voice  under  the  table,  in  imitation  of  a 
young  tom-cat  looking  for  another  of  his  sex  to  do  battle 
with. 

The  old  lady,  thinking  it  was  her  tabby,  commenced 
to  call  it  in  a  soothing  voice.  This  evidently  enraged 
the  animal  who  screamed  the  louder  and  spit  between 
each  scream. 

The  quarrel  of  words  between  the  clergyman  and  John 
was  soon  lost  in  the  noise  of  the  cat  under  the  table. 
The  waiters  were  called  to  eject  the  animals  but  were 
too  frightened  to  move.  At  this  juncture,  an  infuriated 
dog  was  heard  under  the  table,  growling  at  the  cats  who 
were  snarling  and  spitting  at  the  dog.  In  a  moment  the 
dog  appeared  to  seize  the  cats.  The  noise  of  hammer 
ing  and  rolling  about  of  the  animals  under  the  table, 
done  by  Anderson's  feet,  added  to  the  fright  of  the  guests 
and  servants  who  had  already  deserted  the  table  and 


MISH  APS. 


23 


were  madly  rushing  for  the  stairways  when  the  lights 
went  out  leaving  all  in  total  darkness.  A  few  moments 
after  this  last  event,  the  captain  and  officers  came  rushing 
down  the  stairways  with  lamps  in  their  hands,  as  well 
as  bludgeons  to  destroy  the  animals  that  caused  all  the 
disturbance. 

When  the  lamps  in  the  cabin  were  again  lighted,  they 
discovered  the  servants  hiding  in  the  berths  ranged  around 
the  cabin,  and  from  none  of  them  could  they  learn  the 
retreat  of  the  animals  in  question. 

The  one  who  waited  on  the  bride  and  groom,  when 
asked  by  Anderson  how  the  animals  got  on  the  boat  and 
under  the  table,  his  reply  was: 

"  Dey  wus  no  animals  unda  de  tabel." 

ANDERSON:     "  Are  you  sure?  " 

"  Sure?     Why,  ob  course  I  is." 

"  Well,  if  a  dog  and  cat  were  not  under  the  table,  what 
was  the  cause  of  so  much  noise?  " 

"  It  was  de  debbil,  sah.  Dey  was  a  pair  of  dem.  Oh, 
Lawd!  I  nebber 'spected  I  would  lib  to  see  de  debbii 
and  his  brudder  under  one  table." 

ANDERSON:     "  You're  sure  you  saw  two  devils?  " 

WAITER:  "  Saw  dem  as  plain  as  I  see  you.  Saw  one 
ob  dem  clime  up  and  blow  out  de  lights  and  if  de  capten 
and  de  odder  offisurs  hadn't  got  down  stairs  as  fas'  as 
dey  did  we'd  all  been  strangled,  burnt  up  and  den 
drownded  in  de  water.  Oh,  I'se  dun  got  'nuff  ob  steam- 
boatin'  and  so  has  all  de  odder  culled  fellers  on  dis  boat. 
When  she  gits  to  Providence,  if  she  ebber  dus —  Oh, 
Lawd!  W'ats  dat?"  (Anderson  makes  a  noise  behind 
him  of  drawing  a  cork  and  the  fluid  sizzing  out  of  the 
bottle.) 

ANDERSON:  "What's  the  matter?'*  (Another  cork 
pops  behind  him.) 


24  BLOBSONS     DIRE      MISHAPS. 

The  waiter,  trembling  from  head  to  foot,  made  a  jump 
forward  about  six  feet  and  ran  for  his  dear  life  up  the 
cabin  stairway. 

The  result  of  Anderson's  pleasantry  caused  the  passen 
gers  to  go  to  bed  supperless,  for  neither  cook  nor  waiter 
could  be  found  to  venture  into  the  cabin  or  kitchen  that 
night. 

Anderson,  having  lost  his  supper  through  the  folly  of 
the  country  groom,  as  he  supposed,  concluded  to  play 
another  trick  upon  him,  his  bride  and  the  old  maid  with 
the  cat  in  the  basket.  It  being  a  very  warm  night  he 
found,  as  he  expected,  that  the  windows  in  the  state 
rooms  were  left  open,  and  accordingly  made  his  plans. 

As  the  clock  on  the  steamer  struck  the  midnight  hour, 
he  wandered  out  upon  the  deck,  knowing,  in  advance,  the 
countryman's  room  was  but  a  short  distance  from  the  old 
maid's.  He  concluded  to  operate  upon  both.  Creeping 
up  to  the  countryman's  room,  as  if  contemplating  robbery 
or  murder,  he  introduced  his  voice  into  the  room  of  the 
sleepers  in  imitation  of  a  cat  who,  finding  itself  in  a 
strange  place,  commenced  to  howl  in  anything  but 
pleasant  tones. 

The  noise  awoke  the  bride  who,  nudging  her  spouse, 
informed  him  that  the  old  maid's  cat  was  in  their  room. 

"  Throw  my  boots  at  the  durned  critter,"  said  John. 

"  I  can't  reach  them  from  the  bed,"  said  the  bride. 

"  Throw  anything  you  find,  at  her." 

"  I  can't  find  anything." 

(Cat  howling  louder  and  spitting.) 

u  Then  get  up  and  chase  her  outen  the  room." 

"I'm  afraid  she'll  bite  me,"  replied  the  bride. 

"  Well,  I'll  be  durned  if  I  don't  tackle  her." 

By  this  time  the  animal  appeared  to  be  under  the  bed. 
John  commenced  to  call  her  in  gentle  tones: 


BLOBSON    S      DIRE      MISHAPS.  25 

"  Pussy,  nice  kitty,  nice  pussy,  come  to  your  father, 
etc." 

But  it  was  unavailing;  it  was  howl  and  spit — spit  and 
howl.  John  could  stand  it  no  longer.  He  made  a  rush 
for  the  light  which  was  an  electric  one,  but  could  not  find 
a  match,  as  he  said,  "  to  light  the  durned  gas."  The  cat 
was  howling  and  spitting  and  John  was  jumping  up  and 
down,  alternately  howling  for  matches  and  the  captain, 
and  jumping  at  every  howl. 

The  bride,  in  the  meantime,  was  in  bed  and,  in  the 
darkness,  was  engaged  in  swinging  two  pillows  in  every 
direction  to  prevent  the  cat  from  tearing  her  to  pieces. 
In  swinging  the  pillows  about, she  struck  John  on  the  back 
and,  imagining  the  cat  had  landed  on  him,  John's  howls 
and  jumping  increased  the  more.  He  finally  got  the 
state-room  door  open  and  yelled: 

"  Captain  !  Police  !  Anybody,  everybody  come  quick 
or  we'll  all  be  torn  to  pieces  !  Mur-d-e-r  !  " 

This  seemed  to  have  the  desired  effect  of  bringing 
captain,  waiters  and  crew  to  his  door  and,  after  an  ex 
planation  and  a  close  search  was  made  for  the  intruder, 
none  could  be  found. 

The  captain  was  so  disgusted  that  he  called  up  the 
bar-keeper  and  informed  him  that  no  more  liquor  should 
be  furnished  the  countryman,  under  penalty  of  instant 
dismissal. 

After  quiet  was  again  restored  on  the  steamer  and  the 
officers  and  crew  had  gone  below,  the  voice  of  an  infant 
was  heard  by  the  old  maid: 

"  Ma,  ma-a-a-a,  mamma." 

So  startled  was  she,  at  the  sound,  she  sat  bolt  upright 
in  bed  and  peered  into  the  darkness,  but  could  see  nothing, 
yet  heard  the  voice  of  the  infant.  Rising  from  her  berth, 
the  sound  seemed  to  come  from  under  it,  first  in  pitying 


26  BLOBSON'S    DIRE    MISHAPS. 

tones  and  then  as  if  suffering  from  extreme  and  agoniz 
ing  pain. 

Not  being  able,  in  the  darkness,  to  find  the  aforesaid 
infant,  she  made  a  rush  for  the  door,  opened  it  and  ran 
screaming,  in  her  night-dress,  through  the  main  saloon. 

Anderson,  having  completed  his  work,  quietly  retired 
to  his  brother  professionals  below. 

Upon  hearing  the  frantic  screams  of  the  old  maid,  the 
captain  and  crew  appeared  again,  determined  to  unravel 
the  cause  of  this  second  midnight  disturbance,, 

"A  baby  in  your  room,  madam?"  said  Captain  Mott. 
"  Well,  we'll  see  about  that.  Here,  men,  go  in  there  and 
get  that  baby  out." 

In  they  rushed,  into  the  old  maid's  room,  but  no  baby 
could  be  found.  The  captain  was  staggered.  He  first 
looked  at  the  old  maid  and  then  at  his  crew  to  find  a 
solution  to  the  mystery. 

"And  you  found  no  baby?"  said  the  old  maid. 

"Baby?"  said  Captain  Mott.  "Why,  you  might  as 
well  hunt  for  a  caterpillar  in  January  as  to  find  a  baby 
in  an  old  maid's  room  !  " 

Before  the  old  maid  could  reply  to  the  captain,  the  cry 
of  "  Fire!  Fire!  The  boat  is  on  fire,"  was  heard  from 
below. 

Leaving  the  old  maid  to  explain  her  troubles  at  some 
other  time,  the  captain  and  crew  rushed  pell  mell  to  the 
lower  deck,  to  find  that  no  person  knew  of  any  fire  nor 
its  location.  This  made  the  captain  desperate  and  he 
resolved  upon  sitting  up  with  his  crew  the  balance  of  the 
night. 

Anderson,  realizing  the  situation,  concluded  the  best 
place  for  him  was  in  his  berth,  and  thither  he  went. 


CHAPTER  VII. 


THE    PROVIDENCE    LINE    STEAMER    "  RHODE    ISLAND       LANDS 

THE  COMPANY AWAY  BY  RAIL  TO  THE  FIRST  TOWN 

—  WHAT  HAPPENED  WHEN  THE    COMPANY 

ARRIVED,  AND  BEFORE  QUITTING 

THE     TOWN — FUNNY 

SCENES. 

IT  six  A.  M.  the  boat  landed  at  Providence,  and 
the  manager  was  up  and  about  to  have  his 
company  ready  for  the  train  to  the  first 
town  on  the  circuit,  about  32  miles  distant. 
Taking  the  8  o'clock  train,  they  arrived  there  at  9  A.  M  , 
and  after  a  hearty  breakfast  the  members  were  ready  to 
view  the  place,  and  particularly  the  hall  in  which  they 
were  to  appear  that  very  evening.  The  lower  part  of 
the  building  was  occupied  by  a  tinsmith  and  shoemaker, 
with  an  entrance  to  the  hall  about  three  feet  in  width; 
what  with  the  tin  pots,  stoves  and  pans  of  the  smith  and 
old  shoe  boxes  of  the  shoemaker  piled  up  around  the 
doorway,  it  would  be  difficult  for  a  stranger  to  realize 
that  there  was  any  access  to  the  hall  than  through  the 
shops  of  the  shoemaker  or  tinsmith.  However,  after 
getting  into  the  hall  entrance,  one  would  have  to  climb 
three  long,  narrow,  dirty,  dark  and  dingy  stairways  be 
fore  reaching  the  auditorium  (Heaven  save  the  name) 
and  once  there,  what  a  place ;  benches  took  the  place  of 
chairs,  and  petroleum  oil  lamps  the  place  of  gas. 


28  BLOESON'S    DIRE    MISHAPS. 

When  it  became  necessary  to  have  a  dark  stage,  some 
member  of  the  company  would  have  to  go  out  and  turn 
down  the  lamps.  Of  course,  the  action  of  the  play 
would  cease  while  this  was  being  attended  to.  One 
night  when  playing  ''Richard,"  and  where  the  piece 
calls  for  a  dark  stage  in  the  tent  scene,  and  while  Rich 
ard  was  moaning  and  groaning  on  his  couch  and  the 
spirits  of  his  victims  were  crossing  from  right  to  left,  at 
the  back  of  the  stage,  the  lamps  were  burning  their 
brightest,  Richard  not  being  able  to  get  any  person  to 
turn  down  the  lights,  rose  from  his  couch  and  deliber 
ately  reduced  the  glaring  lamps,  and  then  went  on  with 
his  scene  as  if  it  was  one  of  the  incidents  in  the  play. 

Well,  the  second  night  came,  and  before  the  opening 
of  the  doors  a  large  crowd  had  gathered  on  the  walk 
outside.  As  soon  as  they  were  admitted  they  commenced 
the  usual  cry,  "  Music  !  music  !''  After  the  music  ceased, 
which  was  vile,  there  being  only  four  in  the  orchestra, 
i  violin,  i  ilute,  i  clarionet,  i  piano,  it  was  "  Curtain, 
curtain  ;  hoist  the  rag,  drown  the  music,"  and  other  pe 
culiar  remarks  that  were  rather  disrespectful,  and  mem 
bers  of  the  company  felt  were  intended  to  be  personal. 

The  piece  to  be  presented  was  <k  Hamlet,"  and  the 
manager  fearing  trouble,  he  concluded,  in  his  usual  oily 
way,  to  endeavor  to  smooth  matters  before  the  opening 
scene. 

When  he  appeared  there  was  a  stillness  throughout 
the  hall.  He  commenced  by  saying,  "Ladies  and  gents, 
if  you  will  have  patience  the  performance  will  proceed 
at  once.  I  see  before  me  bright  smiling  faces,  strong 
arms  and  willing  hands  who  I  am  sure  will  appreciate 
our  coming  amongst  you.  We  are  here  not  as  many 
might  suppose,  to  make  money,  but  to  elevate  the  im 
mortal  bard,  Shakespeare,  to  enlarge  your  ideas  on  mat- 


BLOBSON    S     DIRE      MISHAPS.  29 

ters   dramatic,"   etc.,    etc.,    etc.,    and    retired     in    good 
order. 

The  curtain  went  up  and  the  play  of  "Hamlet"  was 
presented,  but  not  under  the  most  favorable  circumstan 
ces,  as  might  be  supposed,  after  reading  the  following 
bill  : 

"  HAMLET." 

"  A  TRAGEDY  IN  FIVE  ACTS  BY  THE  LATE  WELL-KNOWN  AND 
"NEVER  TO  BE  FORGOTTEN  AUTHOR,  MR.  WILLIAM  SHAKES- 
"PEARE,  OF  LONDON. 

"  Mr  Bluffington  wishes  it  understood  by  the  inhab 
itants  of  this  place,  the  clergy  and  bar  included,  that 
"  wherever  this  piece  has  been  presented  by  i  The  Never 
"  Get  Left  Dramatic  Company/  of  New  York,  it  proved 
"  a  howling  success,  whereas  with  other  so  called  dra- 
"  matic  combinations  it  has  always  and  ever  will  be  a  dis- 
"astrous  failure.  In  our  case  it  will  be  presented  by  a 
"  notable  array  of  talented  lady  and  gentlemen  scholars, 
"  representing  to  the  life  the  royalty  of  the  time  and 
"place  wherein  Hamlet,  his  mother,  his  father,  the  ghost, 
"King,  Ophelia,  Laertes,  Polonius,  and  the  rest  of  his 
"  associates  lived  and  died.  We  feel  this  is  an  innova 
tion,  but  will  no  doubt  be  pardoned  by  our  patrons 
"  who  are  anxious  to  witness  good  acting." 


CHAPTER  VIII. 


THE      FIRST     NIGHT     OF     "  HAMLET  "     AND     THE     LAST     THE 
SKULL    SPEAKS    AND    SINGS    THE     SONG    OF 


,  not  being  in  the  cast,  went  into  the 
front  of  the  house  with  no  very  kind  feelings 
for  Rushforth  who  was  cast  for  **  Hamlet." 

Everything  moved  smoothly  till  the  church 
yard  scene,  in  Act  5th,  where  Hamlet  picks  up  the  skull 
and  says: 

"  Whose  was  it?  " 

GRAVE-DIGGER:     "  It  was  Yorick's,  the  King's  Jester." 

HAMLET:  "  Let  me  see.  Alas  !  Poor  Yorick !  I 
knew  him,  Horatio,  a  fellow  of  infinite  jest — "  (A  loud 
laugh  comes  from  the  skull,  produced  by  Anderson's 
ventriloquial  powers,  who,  by  the  way,  is  seated  in  the 
gallery.)  Rushforth  looks  with  anger  at  the  grave- 
digger,  who  is  sitting  very  demurely  on  the  side  of  the 
grave,  and  then  proceeds  in  his  speech,  "  of  most  excel 
lent  fancy;  he  hath  borne  me  on  his  back  a  thousand 
times — "  ("Ha,  ha,  ha!  "  comes  again  from  the  skull.) 
Aside  to  Brim,  who  is  the  grave  digger,  "  Mr.  Brim,  if 
you  continue  to  interrupt  me  with  your  vile  laughter,  I 
will  quit  the  stage." 

"  Why  you  must  be  crazy.  I  know  my  business  too 
well  to  interfere  with  a  man's  scene." 

HAMLET  again  proceeds:     "And  now  abhorred  in  my 


DIRE     MISHAPS.  31 

imagination  it  is.  My  gorge  rises  at  it.  Here  hung  those 
lips  that  I  have  kissed —  (Voice  from  skull)  :  **  Try  it 
now."  (As  if  said  by  Horatio.) 

RUSHFORTH  (in  tragic  voice,  aside):  "  Mr.  Dingle,  I 
had  my  eye  on  you  that  time  and  when  we  get  outside, 
I'll  kiss  you  with  my  fist." 

DINGLE  (who  is  playing  "  Horatio ")  to  Rushforth: 
"  You're  a  fool.  I  said  nothing." 

RUSHFORTH  continues  his  lines:  "  I  know  not  how  oft— 
("  Kiss  it  for  its  mother,"  came  again,  accompanied  by  a 
"  Ila,  ha,  ha  !  "  from  the  skull.)     Rushforth  looked    in 
horror  at   the  skull    and    then   savagely   at   "  Horatio." 

(Aside,  to  Horatio):  "  You  just  wait  till  this  scene 
ends  and  I  will  end  you." 

The  audience  is  as  much  surprised  at  these  laughable 
interruptions  as  the  people  on  the  stage,  and  show  it  by 
loud  laughter  which  only  serves  to  heighten  Rushforth's 
anger. 

Again  he  proceeds  in  his  lines,  "  Where  be  your  jibes, 
now,  your  gambols,  your  songs — "  (Anderson  throws 
his  voice  into  the  skull,  which  is  still  in  Rushforth's  hand, 
and  sings,  as  follows,  from  the  u  Old  Sexton:  ") 

'•  Nigh  to  a  grave  that  was  newly  made, 

Leaned  a  sexton  old  on  his  earthworn  spade; 
His  work  was  done  and  he  paused  to  wait, 

The  funeral  train  through  the  open  gate  ; 
A  relic  of  bygone  days  was  he, 

And  his  locks  were  white  as  the  foamy  sea; 
And  these  words  came  from  his  lips  so  thin: 

'I  gather  them  in.     I  gather  them  in, 

Gather — gather — gather — I  gather  them  in.'" 

For  a  moment,  Rushforth  was  horror  stricken.  Those 
on  the  stage  were  filled  with  wonder  and  the  audience 
was  amazed  at  the  deep  melodious  tones,  coming  from 
the  skull  held  by  Rushforth. 


32  BLOBSON    S     DIRE      MISHAPS. 

At  the  close  of  the  stanza,  loud  and  deep  laughter  from 
the  skull,  followed  by  screams,  as  if  from  a  demon, 
pierced  the  ears  of  everybody  on  the  stage  and  in  the 
house.  Rushforth,  almost  crazed,  threw  the  skull  from 
him,  striking  the  grave-digger  and  tumbling  him  into 
"  Ophelia's  "  grave,  and  the  curtain  fell  amid  shouts  of 
laughter  and  merriment  over  the  finale  of  "  Hamlet." 

That  night  the  company  packed  up  and  went  to  Provi 
dence,  R.  I. 

While  the  play  bills  said  the  company  was  composed 
of  forty  people,  the  company  consisted  in  reality  of  only 
thirteen.  They  were  as  follows  : 

WELLSTROKE  BLUFFINGTON  ....  Manager  and  Proprietor. 

VIRGINIUS  RUSHFORTH Leading  Man . 

SAMUEL  BRIM ist  Low  Comedian. 

TENFOLD  BEARBULL Heavies. 

STIMPSON  STACY Juveniles. 

URGANDO  NAYLOR ist  Old  Man. 

J.  HILTON  ANDERSON Juvenile  and  Walking  Gent. 

Walking  Gent,  General  Utility, 
Call  Boy,  Captain  of  the  Supers, 
Leader  of  Mobs,  Leader  of  Pro- 


SEPTIMUS  BLOBSON, 


cessions,    ist    Assistant    to    Props. 


RAMSY  B.  DINGLE, 


and    Head    Keeper   of   Wardrobe. 
(Which  proves  that  Blobson  was  a 
man  of  many  parts.) 
Scenic  Artist,  Musician,  Prompter, 
and  an  all-around    Actor,  generally 
considered  a  very    useful  man   in    a 
Theatre. 

Property  Man,  Baggage  Man,  Gas 
Man,   Bill    Poster  and  Distributor, 
and  Man  of  all  Work.   (A  sort  of  an 
TOPPINS  DERILECT,  <J  all  day  and   night  man  ;  one  whom 
the  manager  and   the  members  of 
the  company  expect  to  find  just  the 
^moment  they  want  him.) 
BELINDA  YOUTHFORD ,..,,,,,,,,,  Leading  Lady. 


BLOBSON'S    DIRE    MISHAPS. 


33 


f  Soubrette,  Heavy,  Walking  Lady, 
I  etc.,  etc.  (Although  this  lady 
j  appears  on  the  bills  as  a  young 

LESTONIA  YARDWELL, «{  Miss,  in  private  life  she  is  the 
wife  of  Mr.  Dingle,  and  the 
I  mother  of  four  children,  the  eld- 
l^est,  a  daughter  of  twenty-one.) 

SELIMA  DARWIN ist  Old  Woman,  etc.,  etc. 

CORDELIA  EDDISTONE Juvenile,  Walking  Lady,  etc. 

TOLLITYMUS  FLIP Advance  Agent. 

The  manager  and  company  were  up  bright  and  early 
the  next  day  to  attend  a  very  important  rehearsal.  Every 
one,  whether  in  the  cast  or  not,  was  expected  to  be  pres 
ent.  The  play  to  be  rehearsed  was  the  comic  drama, 
entitled,  "The  Extremes  of  Married  Life,"  the  scene 
being  laid  in  England  in  1820. 

Every  member  of  the  company  was  present,  but  there 
was  considerable  grumbling  as  to  the  manner  in  which 
the  parts  or  characters  were  cast.  The  leading  man 

mentally  d all  comic  plays  as  being  only  fit  for  bad 

actors  to  appear  in.  Dingle  could  not  understand  why 
he  was  cast  for  a  part  in  the  piece  when  he  had  to  paint 
a  new  scene  for  the  night's  performance.  "  Well,  if  I 
must  rehearse  to-day  "  said  he,  "  I'll  do  it  from  the  paint 
frame,  and  we'll  see  how  Manager  Wellstroke  Bluffington 
will  like  that.  Say,  Blobson,  when  the  piece  is  called, 
tell  old  Bluff.  I  am  on  the  paint  frame,"  and  away  went 
Dingle  up  the  ladder. 

The  grumbling  among  the  people  continued  until  the 
arrival  of  the  manager,  followed  by  Stimpson  Stacy,  the 
stage  manager,  who  was  nothing  if  not  polite  and  dig 
nified,  a  fair  prototype  of  Beau  Brummel,  as  it  were. 
After  a  short  conversation  with  his  manager,  the  com 
pany  were  ordered  into  the  green  room  to  look  over  their 
parts,  while  Bluffington  remained  on  the  stage  at  the 


34  BLOBSONS     DIRE      MISHAPS. 

prompt  table  to  give  his  orders  for  the  day.  The  first 
one  for  him  to  call  up  was  the  stage  carpenter,  Smiggs, 
who  after  being  repeatedly  called,  made  his  appearance 
(that  is,  his  head  made  an  appearance)  through  the  open 
ing  of  a  star  trap  a  foot  away  from  where  the  manager 
was  seated. 

"  Did  you  call,  sir  ?"  said  Srniggs. 

BLUFFINGTON  (who  nearly  fell  off  his  chair  with  fright 
at  the  sudden  appearance  of  what  he  thought  an  appa 
rition,  could  hardly  collect  his  thoughts  for  a  moment): 
"Call,  did  jou  say?  I  should  think  I  did;  but  good 
heavens,  man,  don't  visit  me  again  in  that  unnatural 
manner.  Now  that  you  are  here,  answer  me.  What  are 
your  assistants  doing  ?" 

SMIGGS  :     "  Busy  as  bees,  sir/' 

(If  the  manager  had  but  looked  down  the  Hamlet 
trap,  which  was  open,  he  would  have  seen  the  bees 
smoking  their  pipes,  and  discussing  the  qualities  of  the 
new  company  over  a  can  of  beer.) 

BLUFFINGTON  :  "  I  am  glad  to  hear  it,  Smiggs.  By  the 
way,  where  does  that  vile  smell  of  stale  tobacco  smoke 
come  from  ?" 

SMIGGS:  "Smoke,  tobacco;  (after  some  hesitation) 
just  wait  a  moment,  I'll  investigate  (draws  head  through 
trap;  a  heavy  weight  is  heard  to  fall,  the  Hamlet  trap 
closes,  and  he  pops  his  head  up  again  through  the  star 
trap);  it's  all  right,  sir,  the  new  watchman  was  at  it." 

BLUFFINGTON:     "At  what?" 

SMIGGS  :     "  Puffing  away  on  an  old  pipe." 

BLUFFINGTON  :  "  Smiggs,  this  must  not  occur  again 
while  I  am  in  this  theatre." 

SMIGGS:  "  I  don't  think  it  will,  sir,  as  I  have  given  him 
Darning." 


BLOBSONS     DIRE      MISHAPS.  35 

BLUFFINGTON  :  "  Well,  you  will  now  retire  and  get 
to  work  with  your  assistants  at  once." 

SMIGGS  :  "  All  right,  sir,  you  leave  everything  to  me 
and  there  will  be  no  delay." 

Smiggs  draws  his  head  through  trap,  and  in  two  min 
utes  joins  his  assistants  in  smoking  and  disposing  of 
the  beer  left  in  the  pail. 

BLUFFINGTON  :  "  Smiggs  !  Smiggs  !"  shouting  down 
star  trap.  (Smiggs,  who  at  that  moment  was  engaged 
in  swallowing  his  share  of  beer  from  the  can,  was 
nearly  strangled  at  hearing  the  sound  of  the  manager's 
voice,  the  beer  bursting  from  his  mouth  and  nostrils  in 
streams.  In  his  haste  to  set  himself  right,  he  pushed 
the  lighted  pipe  he  was  a  moment  before  smoking  into 
his  jacket  pocket,  and  rushed  for  the  star  trap,  forget 
ting  the  condition  of  his  face  and  clothes  from  the  effects 
of  the  beer,  and  the  burning  pipe  in  his  pocket.) 

SMIGGS  (with  head  up  star  trap)  :     "  Here  I  am,  sir." 

BLUFFINGTON  :  "  Well,  I  want  you  on  the  stage — 
Have  your  men  let  go  that  trap." 

SMIGGS  (speaking  to  assistants  below  stage):  "  Let  go 
the  star  !" 

Assistants,  below  :  "All  right." 

Without  giving  the  matter  a  thought  as  to  the  trap 
being  eased  up,  the  weights  were  allowed  to  drop,  and 
instead  of  Smiggs  coming  up  slowly  and  stepping  out  on 
the  stage,  as  he  expected,  he  was  sent  flying  through  the 
air  fifteen  feet  above  the  trap,  and  came  down  on  what  is 
known  in  a  theatre  as  a  "  property  bed,"  lying  in  one  of 
the  entrances.  After  getting  over  his  fright  (he  was  not 
hurt)  he  was  prepared  to  talk  business  with  the  manager. 

BLUFFINGTON:  "Smiggs,  that  was  a  narrow  escape, 
and  T  am  glad  of  it  for  your  sake;  had  it  been  otherwise 
I  would  not  stay  here  with  my  company — Great  Jehovah, 


36  BLOBSON'S    DIRE    MISHAPS. 

there  is  that  vile  tobacco  odor  again.  I  thought  you 
had  stopped  it." 

SMIGGS:  "  Why,  I  did,  sir.  I  ordered  the  old  watchman 
to  quit  the  habit  while  he  was  in  the  theatre,  on  pain  of 
instant  dismissal  and,  as  I'm  alive,  sir,  I  do  believe  he  is 
at  it  again." 

BLUFFINGTON:  "Are  you  sure  you  or  your  assistants 
do  not  indulge  in  that  vile  habit  ?" 

SMIGGS:  "  Why,  Lor'  bless  you,  sir,  none  of  us  smokes. 
We  knows  it's  a  wile,  nawsty  habit,  and  another  reason  is 
the  expense.  No,  sir,  we  does  not  smoke." 

BLUFFINGTON:  "You  are  aware,  aside  from  the  un 
pleasant  odor  rising  from  burning  tobacco,  that  theatres 
and  other  buildings  have  not  only  been  destroyed  by 
half-burned  cigars  and  pipes,  but  the  lives  of  innocen- 
persons  as  well.  (The  half-lighted  pipe  in  Smiggs'  pocket 
was  throwing  up  little  jets  of  smoke  while  the  convert 
sation  was  in  progress.)  Yes,"  continued  Bluffington, 
"  you  must  see  this  watchman  and  if,  after  you  have 
admonished  him  again —  (The  pipe  continues  to  emit 
stronger  evidence  of  being  alive  in  Smiggs'  pocket,  and 
the  odor  of  burning  tobacco  increases.)  to  give  up — 
(Phew!  How  that  infernal  tobacco  smells.)  Do  call 
down  and  see  if  that  vagabond  of  a  watchman  isn't  at 
his —  (Phew!  sneezes)  vile —  (another  sneeze)  pract — 
(another  sneeze)  ice.  If  he  is,  I —  (sneeze)  will  have  h — 
(sneeze)  im  im —  (sneeze)  mediately  e —  (sneeze)  jected. 
Tell  (sneeze)  h —  (sneeze)  im  we  w — (sneeze)  ill  a — 
(sneeze)  11  be  (sneeze)  s — (sneeze)  m —  (sneeze)  o — 
(sneeze)  th —  (sneeze)  er— (sneeze)  ed." 

Blobson  enters  and  looks  in  surprise  at  the  nearly 
asphyxiated  condition  of  the  manager  and  the  frightened 
appearance  of  Smiggs.  He  jumps  to  the  conclusion  that 
the  manager  is  in  a  fit,  or  will  soon  be,  and  rushes  off  the 


DIRE     MISHAPS.  37 

stage,  bringing  back  a  pail  of  water  which  he  empties 
over  the  manager  and  runs  off  for  another. 

The  burning  tobacco  has,  by  this  time,  done  its  work 
in  Smiggs'  pocket  and,  on  Blobson's  return,  Smiggs  and 
the  manager  are  engaged  in  tearing  Smiggs'  burning 
clothing  from  his  body  to  save  him  from  a  too  sudden 
incineration.  Blobson,  on  seeing  the  two  dancing  around 
like  howling  dervishes,  (Smiggs  nearly  two-thirds  naked; 
the  manager  yelling  **  Fire!  "  and  "  Police!  ")  concludes 
that  both  are  suffering  from  insanity,  dashes  the  pail  of 
water  over  them  and  runs  for  his  life  into  the  green 
room  and  falls  exhausted. 

Out  the  people  ran  and,  when  the  ladies  saw  Smiggs 
in  a  very  decollette  state,  they  fled  from  the  theatre  in  all 
directions.  When  the  facts  were  understood  by  the  male 
members  of  the  company,  they  cared  for  the  manager 
and  Smiggs,  and  the  stage  manager  dismissed  the  re 
hearsal  for  that  day. 

Smiggs  evidently  learned  a  lesson,  which  was  never 
forgotten,  as  he  was  not  known  to  smoke  after  that  event 
ful  day. 


CHAPTER  IX. 


A     REHEARSAL     OF     A     NEW     PLAY — A    GENUINE     STAGE    DI 
RECTOR — THE    SCENIC     ARTIST    REHEARSES     FROM    THE 
PAINT    FRAME,    IN    THE    FLIES — BURSTING    OF    THE 
PAINT  POTS — THE  ACTORS*    LOSS — ESCAPE  OF 
BLOBSON  AND  DINGLE  OVER  THE  THEA 
TRE    ROOF— INSIGHT    INTO    REAL 
STAGE    REHEARSALS. 

]ADIES  and  gentlemen,"  said  the  stage  man 
ager,  after  they  had  all  assembled  on  the 
stage.  "  You  are  aware  that  yesterday's 
rehearsal  was  obliged  to  be  postponed,  for 
reasons  I  need  not  mention.  It  is  to  be  hoped,  however, 
it  will  not  occur  again.  Tobacco  and  rum  generally  go 
hand  in  hand,  and  often  the  result  is  ruin  to  their  victims. 
There,  I  am  only  using  time  on  a  subject  foreign  to  our 
mission,  so  we  will  to  business  at  once." 

"  Now  then,  ladies  and  gentlemen,  clear  stage  for  first 
Act  of  : 

THE   EXTREMES  OF  MARRIED   LIFE. 

CAST  AS  FOLLOWS : 

Barnaby  Meek VIRGINIUS  RUSHFORTH 

Gustave  De  Charles J.  ANDERSON 

Corporal  Drum R.  B.  DINGLE 

Dingle  Bunn T.  BEARBULL 

Gibbs  (a  fifer) SEPPY  BLOBSON 


BLOBSON'S    DIRE    MISHAPS.  39 

Sammy  Meek SAMUEL  BRIM 

Jenkins  Blim STIMPSON  STACY 

Mrs.  Meek Miss  YOUTHFORD 

Mrs.  Drum MRS.  DARWIN 

Mrs.  Gall Miss  EDDISTON 

Mrs.  Jabber TOPPINS  DERILECT 

Betty  Smirk MRS.  YARDWELL 

Isaac  Levy MR.  BLOBSON 

"  Mrs.  Meek,  you  are  on  in  the  first  scene  ;  there's 
the  bell  (he  rings  bell);  now  then  the  curtain  is  up,  and 
you  are  discovered  seated  in  your  room  waiting  for  your 
adorer,  Mr.  DeChailes,  who  generally  calls  during  the 
absence  of  Mr.  Meek.  Now,  then,  go  on  with  your  lines, 
please." 

MRS.  MEEK:  "Well,  where  am  I  seated  when  the 
curtain  goes  up  ?" 

STACY  :  "  Why,  at  the  table,  which  will  be  in  centre 
of  stage." 

MRS.  MEEK  :     "  But  there  is  no  table  there." 

STACY:  "Why,  my  dear,  you  must  imagine  that. 
Here,  Props  !" 

PROPS:     "Yes,  sir." 

"Go  and  get  a  table  for  Mrs.  M.,  and  place  it  centre 
of  stage  (table  is  brought  on).  Now,  then,  please  go  on." 

MRS.  M.  :     "  But  I  have  no  chair  to  sit  on." 

STACY  :  "  Yes,  yes,  I  see  ;  Blobson,  get  up  and  give 
this  lady  a  chair  (Blobson  brings  chair).  Don't  occupy 
chairs  again  during  rehearsal.  Now,  then,  let's  get  on, 
please.  (Stage  managers  generally  are  more  than  polite  at 
the  commencement  of  a  rehearsal,  but  often  wind  up 
towards  the  last  in  a  state  bordering  on  insanity.  This 
rehearsal  may  prove  no  exception,  but  it  is  hoped  it  may.) 
Now,  Mrs.  M.,  I  believe  we  are  all  ready." 


40 

MRS.  M.  (Reading  her  part)  :  "  Heaven's  vengeance 
will  visit  this  thrice  perjured  villain.  Off !  off  !  thou  das 
tardly  villain,  or  I — " 

STACY  :  "  Hold  on,  Mrs.  M.,  where  are  you  ?  This  is 
not  a  tragedy  part  you  are  to  play." 

MRS.  M.  :  "  Well,  sir,  if  there  is  any  comedy  in  my 
lines  I  would  be  obliged  to  you  to  point  it  out." 

STACY  :  "  Comedy,  tragedy  ;  why,  my  dear.  By  the 
way,  let  me  see  your  part  (she  shows  it).  Good  heavens, 
madam,  you  are  reading  the  heavy  part  in  '  Elvira,'  and 
not  the  one  the  rehearsal  is  called  for  (looks  on  prompt 
table  and  finds  the  right  one).  I  see  I'm  the  culprit,  this 
time,  please  excuse  me  (hands  her  the  proper  part).  There 
you  are;  now  we  will  try  it  again." 

MRS.  M.  :  "  It  is  really  too  bad  for  DeCharles  to  keep 
me  waiting  in  this  manner  when  he  knows  I  am  dying  to 
see  him  (a  knock  at  the  door).  There  he  is  at  last." 

STACY  :     "  Well,  my  dear,  that's  you." 

MRS.  M.  :  "I  don't  see  anything  here"  (looking  at 
her  part). 

STACY  :  "  Don't  you  see  the  business  marked  there, 
of  your  going  to  the  door?" 

MRS.  M.  :  "  The  business  says  a  knock  outside,  goes 
to  door,  but  it  don't  say  who  goes  to  door." 

STACY  :  "You  are  alone  on  the  stage;  there  is  no  one 
else  to  go.  Besides  you  are  expecting  your  friend,  and  it 
is  presumed  and  it  is  intended  by  the  author  you  should 

g°-" 

MRS.  M.  :     "  Oh,  very  well,  sir  (in  a  tone  of  sarcasm). 

I  presume  I  should  go  if  the  author  intended  it.  Will 
you  kindly  (disdainfully)  say  what  I  am  to  do  after  I 
open  the  door  ?" 

STACY  :  "  Why-er-you-are  supposed  to  be  elated  at 
meeting  him,  and  would  be  justified  in  throwing  your 


BLOB  SO  NS     DIRE      MISHAPS.  41 

arms  about  him,  or  permitting  him  to  embrace  you,  or 
you  could,  if  the  audience  would  take  it,  fall  into  his 
arms,  a  sort  of  an  ad  libitum  business." 

MRS.  M.  :  "I  see  by  my  part,  the  word  ad  libitum  is 
used.  Is  that  the  meaning  of  the  word  ?" 

STACY  :  "  Certainly  ;  the  word  is  of  German,  French 
or  Latin  origin,  probably,  but  means  do  as  you  please." 

MRS.  M.  (who  is  not  versed  in  any  of  the  above 
languages,  nor  mistress  of  her  own,  is  somewhat  con 
fused  at  Stacy's  erudition)  proceeds  to  the  door,  and,  as 
she  opens  it,  Mrs.  Drum  makes  her  appearance. 

MRS.  D.  :  "Oh,  Mrs.  Meek,  I  am  so  glad  you  are  at 
home.  I  want  advice,  and  I  want  it  badly." 

MRS.  M.  :  "  Well,  my  dear,  had  you  called  when  I 
was  not  quite  so  busily  engaged  (she  is  all  dressed,  ready 
to  go  out  when  DeCharles  arrives,  and  shows  how  un 
prepared  she  is  to  meet  Mrs.  Drum,  when  DeCharles  was 
the  one  she  expected)." 

MRS.  D.  :  "  Busily  engaged;  well,  I  suppose  it  is  too 
bad,  but  then  I  have  such  a  tale  to  tell  you  I  could  not 
wait." 

MRS.  M.  :     "  What  is  it?" 

MRS.  D.  :  "  My  husband,  who  is  no  more,  said  in 
the  last  letter  he  wrote,  just  before  the  ship  sunk  down, 
down,  down  into  the  awful  bosom  of  the  ocean,  that  if 
I  married  again  he  would  come  and  stand  beside  my 
bed  at  night  covered  with  seaweed,  barnacles  and  mer 
maids.  Oh,  Lord  !" 

MRS.  M.  :  "  That  is  horrible.  You  really  make  me 
feel  ill." 

MRS.  D.  :  "  How  do  you  imagine  I  feel  with  a  sea 
faring  man  covered  with  seaweed,  barnacles  and  mer 
maids,  standing  beside  me  every  night.  What  would 
you  advise  me  to  do  ?" 


42  BLOBSON'S    DIRE    MISHAPS. 

MRS.  M. :  "Mrs.  Drum,  if  I  could  only  get  rid  of 
mine  in  as  easy  a  manner,  I  would  be  willing  to  suffer 
any  torture  (knock  outside).  That's  my  darling.  Oh, 
what  will  I  do  with  Mrs.  Drum  ?"  (Louder  knocks.) 

MRS.  D.  :  "  What  does  that  dreadful  knocking  mean? 
Is  some  calamity  about  to  overtake  us  ?  Tell  me  if  you 
can,  so  that  I  can  get  safely  away." 

MRS.  M.  :  "I  know  not  what  it  may  be;  but  come 
this  way,  and  you  can  pass  out  the  back  stairway  (They 
exit.  Knocking  outside).  Mrs.  M.  goes  to  door  and 
meets  DeCharles." 

DEC.  :  "  Oh,  my  darling  !  Do  I  see  you  once  again 
(embraces  her)." 

MRS.  M.  :  "You  do,  my  DeCharles  !  I  am  so  glad  you 
did  not  disappoint  me." 

DEC.  :     "  Hns  your  fool  of  a  husband  arrived  as  yet  ?" 

MRS.  M.  :  "No,  he  has  not;  I  sent  him  out  to  the 
grocer's,  and  I  suppose  he  will  gossip  with  everyone  he 
meets." 

STACY  :  "  DeCharles,  there  is  no  necessity  for  your 
standing  there  speaking  your  lines  whh  your  arms 
thrown  around  Mrs.  Meek,  is  there  ?" 

DECHARLES  :  "  I  supposed  from  my  part  I  should  do 
so." 

STACY  :  "  It  don't  follow,  because  your  part  says  that 
after  you  enter  the  room  you  embrace  her,  that  you 
should  keep  her  in  your  arms  during  your  scene  with 
her  on  the  stage.  It  might  do  very  well  for  you  two 
to  do  this  all  day  in  private  life,  but  there  is  no 
audience  in  the  world  would  tolerate  it  ten  or  even  two 
minutes  ;  they  would  hiss  you  off  the  stage." 

"  Well,  now,  please  go  on  with  your  lines  and  omit  any 
further  embracing  business.  (To  Blobson)  :  For  heav 
en's  sake,  Mr.  Blobson,  do  go  off  the  stage.  Don't  be 


BLOBSON'S    DIRE    MISHAPS.  43 

alarmed.     You'll    be  called    in    time.     Now,   then,    Mr 
De  Charles." 

DE  CHARLES  :  "  Well,  my  dear,  as  you  are  all  ready  for 
the  Boat  races,  we  will  away  at  once.  Stop!  (Searches 
pockets.)  By  heavens!  I've  been  robbed!" 

MRS.  M.:     "Robbed!     Can  it  be  possible?" 

DE  CHARLES:  "  Such,  my  dear,  is  the  fact  and,  what 
is  worse,  my  banker  left  for  home,  so  that  we  will  be 
obliged  to  postpone  our  trip." 

MRS.  M.:     "  What  amount  have  you  lost?" 

DE  CHARLES:  "  Fifty  pounds,  at  the  least,  and,  with 
out  it,  I  could  not  think  of  going." 

MRS.  M.:  "  If  we  are  to  lose  the  races  for  the  loss  of 
fifty  pounds,  I  will  furnish  you  the  amount.  Now,  my 
dear,  don't  worry.  I  will  get  it  for  you.  Wait  but  a 
moment."  [ExiT.] 

DE  CHARLES:  "  She  is  a  trump,  and  oh!  what  a  soft 
one!  She  believes  I  am  single  and  that  royal  blood  runs 
through  my  veins.  Well,  she  will  awake  from  her  dream 
some  day,  and  curse  the  hour  she  saw  me  " 

MRS.  M.  (Enters  with  money.):  <% There,  my  dear,  is 
the  exact  amount." 

DE  CHARLES:  **  Oh,  my  darling!  "  (Embraces  and 
kisses  her.)  .  *" 

STACY:  "  My  dear  sir,  there  are  neither  embraces  nor 
kisses  there,  unless  you  take  the  responsibility  of  so 
doing;  and  as  stage  manager  and,  in  the  absence  of  the 
author,  I  object  to  the  introduction  of  new  business." 

DE  CHARLES:  "  I  supposed  it  would  be  the  means  of 
making  the  scene  more  lively." 

STACY:  "In  the  absence  of  the  author,  sir,  we  are 
not  allowed  to  introduce  new  business;  besides,  you  and 
Mrs.  M.  seem  to  have  a  failing  for  the  introduction  of  too 
much  kissing  business,  already.  Now,  then,  oblige  me 


44  BLOBSON'S    DIRE    MISHAPS. 

by  continuing  your  scene  but,  for  Heaven's  sake,  omit 
any  more  kissing  business  !!!  " 
DE  CHARLES:     "All  right,  sir." 

MRS.  M.:  "  My  dear  De  Charles,  you  know  you  prom 
ised  me,  as  soon  as  I  got  my  divorce,  you  would  marry 
me." 

DE  CHARLES:     "Ah,  yes.     I  had  quite  forgotten  that, 
but,  now  that  you  remind  me,  I  give  you  my  word,  you 
will   be  my  wife  as   soon   as  the  divorce  is  granted." 
(They  rush  towards  each  other  as  if  to  embrace.) 
STACY:     "  Now,  for  Heaven's  sake,  no  more  kissing." 
DE  CHARLES:     "  Then  what  shall  we  do." 
STACY:     "  Why  take  her  hand  and  say:     *  Thanks,  my 
darling.     Your  wishes  will  be  gratified,  etc.,  etc.'     Any 
thing  but"  the  kissing  business." 

DE  CHARLES:  "Thanks,  my  darling.  Your  wishes  will 
be  gratified." 

STACY:     "  There,  that  is  something  like  it." 
DE  CHARLES:     "  What  shall  we  do  now  ?  " 
STACY:     "  Why,  don't  you  both  see?     After  this,  you 
sherry." 

DE  CHARLES:  "  Sherry?  No,  sir,  I  don't  see  that  word 
but  I  do  see  we  exit  through  centre  door." 

STACY:  "  Well,  for  the  Lord's  sake,  don't  you  under 
stand;  sherry  and  exit  mean  the  same  ?  Do  go  off  before 
I  lose  my  patience."  [They  exit] 

(Enter  Sammy  Meek  with  basket;  sets  it  down  on  dresser.) 
SAMMY:  "  Well,  here  I  am,  and  pretty  tired.  I  won. 
der  where  my  darling  wife  is?  I  suppose  she  is  in  with 
our  baby.  (Baby  cries,  in  adjoining  room.)  That's  my 
boy." 

POLL  PARROT  (who  is  in  cage)  :     "  Meek!  Meek!  " 
SAMMY:     "Hello!   Who  is  that?"     (Turns  round  and 


BLOBSON'S   DIRE   MISHAPS.  45 

sees  Polly.)       Oh!  That's  you,  is  it,   Polly?"       (Baby 
cries.) 

POLLY:     "Meek!  Baby  Meek." 

SAMMY:     *'  Yes,  Polly,  baby  is  all  right."     (Baby  cries.) 

Jack  (a  monkey),  who  has  been  asleep  under  a  chair, 
hops  down  to  chair  on  which  Sammy  is  seated,  and 
pulls  his  coat.  (Baby  cries  again.) 

"  Well,  Jack,  what,  do  you  want?" 

Jack  pulls  his  coat  and  points  towards  room  where 
baby  is. 

"  Yes,  Jack,  baby  is  all  right.     Mamma  is  with  him." 
(Child  cries.) 

Jack  pulls  his  coat  and  points  towards  door.  (Baby 
cries.) 

POLLY:     "  Sam — baby." 

SAMMY:  "  Well,  it  is  wonderful;  the  moment  that 
baby  cries,  neither  Jack  nor  Poll  will  ever  rest  until  they 
attract  my  attention."  (Baby  cries.) 

Jack  pulls  his  coat  and  points  to  door. 

POLLY  cries:     •*  Meek — Sam — baby." 

"  Yes,  I  will  attend  to  him  at  once.  Why,  these  ani 
mals  are  as  good  as  nurses.  (Baby  cries.)  Yes,  I'm 
coming.  I  wonder  where  its  mother  is." 

Jack  takes  Meek's  hand  and  leads  him  towards  the 
room  the  baby  is  in.  [They  exit.} 

(For  the  benefit  of  the  reader,  it  is  well  to  state  that 
Jack  and  Polly  once  belonged  to  a  showman  and  were 
educated  to  appear  before  the  public.  Their  owner,  after 
a  tour  through  the  country,  tired  of  the  business  and 
was  obliged  to  part  with  them  at  an  auction  sale.  Sam 
my's  mother-in-law  became  their  owner  and,  on  account 
of  having  no  place  to  keep  them,  particularly  the  parrot 
who  had  learned  many  words  not  heard  in  polite  society, 
and  the  monkey's  strong  penchant  for  stealing,  she  con- 


46  BLOBS  ON 's      DIRE      MISHAPS. 

eluded  her  son-in-law's  house  was  the  best  place  for  them. 
And  here  they  are  on  the  opening  of  the  play.  Both  ani 
mals  became,  at  once,  firm  friends  of  Sammy  and  thebaby; 
as  for  the  mother-in-law  and  wife,  they  seemed  to  have 
taken  a  dreadful  dislike  to  them.  The  baby's  voice  was 
at  once  recognized  by  Polly  and  Jack  and  they  would 
show  signs  of  worriment  the  moment  they  heard  it  ) 

After  a  moment's  absence,  Meek  returned  with  the 
baby,  followed  by  Jack  who  seemed  in  high  glee  over 
the  child's  rescue.  Meek  went  over  to  the  table  on 
which  stood  a  bowl  of  food  which  had  been  prepared 
for  the  child,  seated  himself  in  a  chair  and  at  once 
commenced  the  operation  of  feeding  him. 

"  Yes,"  said  Meek,  "  it  shall  have  its  dinner  and  its 
supper  and  its  breakfast,  and  more,  too." 

The  monkey  had  reached  the  table  by  this  time  andf 
while  the  parent  was  engaged  in  feeding  the  child,  Jack 
would,  when  the  opportunity  offered,  dig  a  spoon,  he  had 
possessed  himself  of,  into  the  bowl  of  food,  swallow  it 
hastily  and  chatter  away.  After  the  child  had  eaten 
what  the  father  thought  sufficient,  it  went  off  into  a 
sound  sleep. 

MEEK:  "There,  my  lumpty  bumpty,  I  guess  you  feel 
better  or  you  wouldn't  have  gone  to  sleep,  and  now  we 
will,  both  of  us,  have  a  go  at  it.  (To  stage  manager.) 
I  don't  see  any  bed  here,  Mr.  Stacy." 

STACY:     "Bed,  for  what?  " 

MEEK:     "  Why,  to  sleep  on,  of  course." 

STACY:  <l  Bed  to  sleep  on?  You  are  not  supposed  to 
be  in  a  lodging  house,  but  in  your  own  room.  You  sim 
ply  take  a  chair,  and  you  and  the  baby  are  supposed  to 
fall  asleep." 

MEEK:  "  All  right,  then;  hwe  we  go."  (Sits  in  chair 
and  falls  asleep.) 


BLOBSON'S    DIRE   MISHAPS.  47 

Jack  then  takes  full  possession  of  the  bowl.  The 
parrot,  seeing-  Jack's  actions,  calls  out: 

"  Meek — baby — grub — Jack — steal — d n."  Screams 

loudly;  shakes  cage,  which  so  annoys  the  monkey  that 
he  drops  the  bowl  and  jumps  up  on  the  parrot's  cage, 
which  enrages  the  parrot  who  grabs  Jack's  tail.  Jack, 
in  his  endeavor  to  free  his  tail,  pulls  cage  and  parrot 
from  the  hook,  the  whole  three  coming  to  the  floor  with 
a  loud  crash,  with  Jack  underneath  the  cage. 

Meek  is  so  startled  that  he  jumps  up,  dropping  the 
baby  to  the  floor,  whose  screams,  added  to  those  of  the 
parrot,  and  the  screeching  of  the  monkey,  so  frighten 
him  that  he  is  unable  to  tell  whether  a  blizzard  struck 
the  corner  of  the  house  or  the  roof  had  been  blown  off 
by  sewer  gas.  He  grabs  the  baby  and  rushes  off  the 
stage,  followed  by  the  monkey  and  parrot. 

STACY  :  "  Now,  then,  DeCharles,  that  is  you  and 
Mrs.  Meek." 

DECHARLES  :     "  Oh,  is  that  us  ?" 

STACY:  "Yes,  and  for  Heaven's  sakes  hurry  up  or 
we  will  be  here  till  night." 

MRS.  MEEK  (aside  to  DeCharles)  :  "  Pity  he  couldn't 
be  kept  here  all  night.  Yes,  Mr.  DeCharles,  it  is  really 
too  wet  outside  to  go  to  the  races  to-day.  (Meek  coming 
in  with  baby.)  Why,  Meek,  what  are  you  going  to  do 
with  the  baby?" 

MEEK  :  "  Take  care  of  him,  my  darling  ;  do  you  wish 
to  hold  him  ?" 

MRS  MEEK  :  "  Hold  him,  no  !  Ah,  there  is  mamma's 
dear  little  monkey  ;  come  here  Jack  and  kiss  me.'' 
(Kisses  her.) 

DECHARLES:     "  I  could  kill  that  monkey." 

MEEK  :     "  Well,   I   hope   I   may   disappear  out  of  the 


48  BLOBSON'S    DIRE    MISHAPS. 

mouth  of  a  cannon  ;  kisses  the  monkey,  and  forgets  all 
about  her  baby." 

MRS.  M.  :  "  Sammy,  have  you  got  tea  ready  yet  ? 
Mr.  DeCharles  is  no  doubt  hungry  since  our  stroll." 

MEEK  :     "  Well,  I  think  Charley—  " 

MRS.  MEEK  :  "  DeCharles,  sir  ;  because  he  is  a  friend 
of  mine  that  is  no  reason  you  should  take  such  liberties 
with  him.  Do  you  hear  me,  sir  ?" 

MEEK  :  "  Yes,  my  darling.  Ah,  nothing  like  having 
a  fine  spirited  lady  like  this  fora  wife." 

DECHARLES  :     "  The  helpless  fool." 

MRS.  M.  :  "  Meek,  do  go  and  put  that  child  in  bed; 
it  makes  me  feel  ill  to  see  you  running  round  the  house 
with  it.  Now  go  !'' 

MEEK:  "  Yes,  your  mightiness.  Come,  Jack."  (To  mon 
key.) 

MRS.  MEEK  :     "Let  Jack  remain  here." 

MEEK  :  "  All  right,  Jack,  go  to  your  Mistress."  (Starts 
to  go  off;  monkey  runs  after  him,  jumps  upon  his  should 
ers  and  goes  off  with  him.) 

MRS.  MEEK  :  <•  Well,  Mr.  DeCharles,  as  tea  is  not 
ready  I  will  go  over  and  see  poor  Mrs.  Drum,  and  try 
and  console  her  over  the  loss  of  her  husband.  Will  you 
go  with  me  to  her  door?" 

DE  CHARLES  :    "With  pleasure."  [T/iey  exit.~\ 

SCENE  CHANGES. 

HOME  OF  MRS.DRUM — ENTER  MRS.MEEK  AND  MRS.DRUM — C.D. 
MRS.  DRUM  :     "Oh,  Mrs.  Meek." 
MRS.  MEEK  :     "  What  is  the  trouble  ?" 
MRS.  D.  :     "  No,  I  cannot  be  deceived."    [Looks  off >.] 
MRS.  M. :     "  Was  it  not  Gibbs,  the  fife  player  ?" 
MRS.  D.  :     "  Gibbs,    the    fife   player     Don't   mention 

that  little  fright." 


BLOBSON'S    DIRE    MISHAPS.  49 

MRS.  M.  :     "  Who,  then  ?" 

MRS.  D.  :     "  Ah,  my  dear  husband." 

MRS.  M.  :  **  You  alarm  me.  Tell  me,  where  did  you 
see  him  ;  in  your  chamber  ?" 

MRS.  D.  :  "  No,  I  was  about  to  close  the  shutters,  it 
being  just  twilight,  when  a  figure  all — " 

STACY  :  "  You  should  appear  very  much  frightened 
when  telling  your  story,  and  not  talk  and  act  as  if  you 
had  just  put  a  new  ribbon  on  an  old  bonnet." 

MRS.  D.  :     "I  will  try  to." 

MRS.  M.     "  Oh,  don't  mind  him,  Mrs.  Drum." 

MRS.  D.  :  "  He  was  covered  over  with  sea  weed,  bar 
nacles  and  live  crabs." 

MRS.  M.  :     "  Heavens  !     This  is  a  horrible  tale." 

STACY:  "  Do,  for  Heaven's  sake,  ladies,  show  some 
little  fright  and  not  sit  there  as  if  you  were  both  ex 
changing  chewing  gum.  Just  imagine  that,  in  the  mid 
dle  of  night,  a  monster,  like  this,  coming  in  upon  you 
from  the  bowels  or  any  other  part  of  the  ocean,  shifting 
his  quid  of  tobacco  from  one  side  of  his  mouth  to  the 
other — from  starboard  to  port,  as  it  were — hitching  his 
trousers,  amid-ships,  and  singing  out 'hot  grog  and  no 
palaver.'  Would  you  sit  down  as  quietly  as  you  are  now- 
doing  ?  Well,  I  rather  think  not!  Now,  do  go  on  with 
the  scene  and  please  throw  a  little  more  fireworks  into 
it" 

MRS.  D.:  "I  recognized  in  the  mysterious  figure  that 
nightly  visits  my  sleeping-room — " 

MRS.  M.:     "Oh!  Oh! 

STACY:  "That's  it!  That's  it!  Put  plenty  of  ginger  in 
it  and  the  scene  will  make  a  big  hit." 

MRS.  M.:  "  Did  you  not  scream,  cry  out,  nor  make  an 
outcry?" 

MRS.  D.:     "Ah,  Mrs.  Meek,  if  you  but  knew  him,  so 


50  BLOBSON    S      DIRE      MISHAPS. 

handsome,  so  gallant,  you  would  not  scream.  No,  I 
loved  him,  while  living,  too  well  to  do  so.  For  the  last 
five  nights,  have  I  seen  him  standing  at  the  foot  of  my 
bed,  scratching  his  left  ear,  and,  on  each  occasion,  he 
kissed  me.'5 

MRS.  M.:  "Horrible!  Horrible."  (Loud  knocking  at 
the  door.) 

MRS.  M.:  "Oh,  Mrs.  Drum,  that  must  be  the  ghost. 
Oh,  why  did  I  ever  leave  my  own  Meek,  to  see  this 
monster?  "  \_Enter  Gibbs  with  a  fife  in  his  hand,  d.  inf.~\ 

STACY:  "Mr.  Dingle!  Mr.  Dingle!  Mr.  Dingle! 
Where  are  you?  The  stage  is  waiting  for  you!  Will  no 
person  go  and  call  Mr.  Dingle?  " 

BLOBSON:     "  Dingle  is  up  on  the  paint  frame,  sir." 

STACY  (To  Dingle,  up  in  the  flies,  shouting  at  the  top 
of  his  voice):  "Mr.  Dingle,  you  are  wanted  for  your 
scene." 

DINGLE  (Looking  down  from  the  paint  frame.):  "lam 
at  work  on  this  new  kitchen  that  we  use  to-night  and,  if 
I  come  down,  I  will  not  have  it  ready.  Will  I  go  on 
painting  and  rehearse  from  the  frame,  or  shall  I  come 
down  there  and  let  the  scene  go?" 

STACY:  "As  things  cannot  be  altered  now,  remain 
where  you  are  and  rehearse  from  there." 

DINGLE:     "Well,  where  am  I  now?" 

STACY:     "  Why,  you  are  on  the  paint  frame." 

DINGLE:  "  Yes,  I  know  that.  I  mean,  how  far  have 
we  gone  with  the  piece?  " 

STACY:  "  Where  the  ladies  are  expecting  the  first  en 
trance  of  the  ghost,  after  knock  on  door.  You,  then, 
come  on." 

DINGLE:  (With  paint  brush  in  one  hand  and  pot  of 
paint  in  the  other.):  "  Ah,  ladies,  I  am  delighted — " 

STACY:     "  Louder,  Mr.  Dingle." 


DIRE      MISHAPS.  51 

DINGLE:     "to  see  you!" 

MRS.  D.:  "  What  an  insignificant  looking  creature!  " 
(To  Stacy):  "  Who  am  I  speaking  to,  Mr.  Stacy?  There 
is  no  one  on  the  stage  but  Mrs.  Drum  and  I." 

STACY:  "  Why,  you  refer  to  Gibbs  who  is  now  on  the 
stage.  I  mean,  who  is  up  in  the  flies — that  is,  Gibbs  is 
not  up  there,  but  Mr.  Dingle,  who  plays  the  part.  Din 
gle!  Dingle!  I  say,  Mr.  Dingle,  will  you  please  pay  a 
little  attention  and  drop  painting  up  there  for  one 
moment?  If  you  don't,  we  can't  get  on." 

MRS.  M.:  "  Well,  Mrs.  Drum,  as  you  have  company,  I 
will  leave  you;  so  adieu!"  [£xit.] 

GIBBS:  "  (Well,  I  am  glad  she  is  gone.  Now,  then, 
to  attack  the  weaker  part  of  Mrs.  Drum's  fortifications.) 
As  your  unfortunate  husband  is  no  longer  a  resident  of 
this  earth,  but  lives  in  the  bowels  of  the  ocean  with  shad, 
red  herring,  lobsters,  shrimp,  clams,  oysters,  whales  and 
other  kinds  of"shell-fish,  it  is  your  bounden  duty  to  take 
to  your  arms  one  who  will  protect  you.  (She  turns 
away.) 

MRS.  D.:     "What,  you — "     (Turns  to  stage  manager.) 

"Mr.  Stacy,  it  is  hard  enough  to  rehearse  my  part 
with  a  man  on  the  paint  frame  without  being  annoyed  by 
the  terrible  clatter  of  the  stage  carpenters  hammering 
and  sawing  behind  me." 

STACY:     "Smiggs!  Smiggs!  Smiggs,  I  say!  " 

SMIGGS:  "  All  right,  sir.  (To  carpenters.)  Will  you 
stop  your  infernal  din  till  I  hear  what  the  stage  manager 
wants.  (Noise  stops.)  (To  Stacy.)  "Well,  sir?" 

STACY:  "  It  is  impossible,  Mr.  Smiggs,  to  proceed  with 
the  rehearsal  if  the  noise  at  the  back  of  the  stage  is 
continued  with  your  men  sawing  and  hammering.  It 
must  be  stopped.  Do  you  understand  me,  sir?  I  said 
stopped,  sir! " 


52  BLOBSON  S  DIRE   MISHAPS. 

SMIGGS:  Then,  sir,  Juliet  will  have  no  tomb  to  lie  in, 
nor  Romeo  to  die  in,  to-night." 

STACY:  "Then  we  will  cut  out  the  scene  and  let 
them  die  else  where." 

SMIGGS:     "  All  right,  sir."  [Exits.} 

STACY:     "  Now,  then,  Mrs.  Drum,  you  can  proceed." 

MRS.  D.:  "  You,  to  protect  me?  Why,  you  are  hardly 
large  enough  to  protect  yourself.  [Aside.]  But  how  can 
I  get  rid  of  this  fellow.  [Aloud.]  You  should  under 
stand,  Mr.  Gibbs,  it  would  be  very  indelicate  in  my 
thinking  of  getting  married  without  positive  proof  of  my 
husband's  death." 

GIBBS:  "  Supposing  I  bring  the  joyful  news  of  his 
death?" 

MRS.  D.:     "Joyful?     Are  you  mad,  Mr.  Gibbs? 

GIBBS:  "  Excuse  me.  I  mean  the  sad,  sad  news  of 
his  death.  Then  will  you  consent  to  be  mine?" 

MRS.  D.:  "Give  me  first  the  evidence  and  I  will 
then  make  up  my  mind."  [Exit} 

GIBBS:  "  I  will  frighten  her  into  marrying  me  by  my 
ghostly  visitations  at  night."  [Exit} 

STACY:  "Ladies  and  gentlemen,  as  it  is  getting  late, 
and  as  there  is  much  work  to  be  done  towards  the 
performance  to-night,  we  will  dismiss  rehearsal  for  to 
day."  (All  the  members  start  for  the  street,  taking  the 
nearest  routes  for  their  boarding  places.) 


CHAPTER  X. 


THE     OPENING    NIGHT    IN    THE     TOWN    WAS     GIVEN    TO     THE 
PRESENTATION    OF     THE     SUBLIME     TRAGEDY    OF     "  MAC 
BETH  " — BLOBSON     CAST    FOR    SEYTON — DIRE    RESULTS, 
THROWN      HEAD      FOREMOST     ON      THE     BASS     DRUM, 
BOUNDS     OVER      ON      TO       THE      LEADER      OF      THE 
ORCHESTRA,      WHO    IS     UNSEATED,     "  MACBETH," 
THROWN       BY     BLOBSON,     FALLS      ASTRIDE     OF 
DOUBLE    BASS    VIOLIN,    AND    THE    AUDIENCE 
FLEE       FOR       THEIR      LIVES       FROM 
THE    THEATRE. 

|HE  bill  for  the  opening  night  was  the  sublime 
tragedy  of  "  Macbeth,"  to  be  played  for  the 
first  time  by  this  company.  As  it  requires  a 
full  cast  for  the  piece,  it  is  not  easily  handled 
by  a  light  company  and  especially  one  like  the  N.  G.  L.  D. 
Company  who  was  obliged  to  double,  treble  and  even 
quadruple  the  parts,  as  will  be  seen  in  the  following 
distribution. 

Blobson  felt  highly  honored  in  being  cast  for  so  many 
different  parts,  on  the  presumption,  the  more  parts  one 
played  in  a  piece,  the  greater  his  ability  as  an  actor. 
The  sequel,  as  will  shortly  be  seen,  was  the  reverse,  as 
was  demonstrated  to  every  one  in  the  theatre  on  the 
night  in  question.  The  bill  was  as  follows: 


54 


MACBETH." 


By  the  late  lamented  William  Shakespeare,  will  be 
given  to-night  with  an  extraordinary  cast,  new  scenery 
and  real  properties. 

THE  BOYAL  CAST  IS   AS   FOLLOWS: 

Duncan MR.  N AYLOR 

Malcom       )  Two  Young  Girls  From  a  Boarding  School. 
Donalbain  j  Their  First  Appearance. 

Macbeth VIRGINIUS   RUSHFORTH 

Banquo MR.  S.   STACY 

Macduff TENFOLD    BEARBULL 

Lenox MR.  BLOBSON 

Rosse MR.  DERELICT 

Sey ton MR.  BLOBSON 

Fleance Miss  YARDWELL 

First  Murderer MR.   DINGLE 

Second  Murderer MR.  BLOBSON 

Physician MR.    ANDERSON 

Lady  Macbeth BELINDA  YOUTHFORD 

Hecate MR.  S.  BRBI 

First  Witch Miss  DARWIN 

Second  Witch Miss  EDDESTONE 

Third    Witch MR.  BLOBSON 

Fourth    Witch MR.    DINGLE 

As  will  be  observed  by  the  cast  of  *'  Macbeth,"  Mr. 
Blobson  was  to  play  many  parts  in  it,  and  was  congratu 
lated  by  Brim,  the  comedian,  Anderson,  the  ventrilo 
quist,  and  Bearbull,  the  heavy  man,  as  one  who  would 
be  sure  to  rise  in  his  profession;  all  of  which  was  honey 
to  Blobson.  Mr.  Brim,  the  comedian,  a  stereotyped, 
practical  joker,  by  the  way,  gave  a  knowing  wink  to 
Anderson  and  Bearbull,  and  asked  if  Mr.  Blobson  had 


BLOBSON'S    DIRE    MISHAPS.  55 

ever  played  the  part  of  Seyton  before.  Mr.  Blobson 
admitted  that  he  had  not,  but  presumed  it  was  one  of 
great  importance. 

"Importance!"  said  Brim,  "well,  I  should  say  it  was. 
Why,"  continued  Brim,  "if  'Seyton'  did  not  come  on  at 
his  cue,  the  curtain  would  have  to  be  dropped  and  the 
audience  dismissed." 

"  Well,  I  had  no  idea  it  was  a  character  of  such  great 
importance,"  said  Blobson. 

"Importance!"  said  the  heavy  man.  "Let  me  say  to 
you,  Mr.  Blobson,  in  all  kindness  (with  solemn  and 
grave-like  tones)  the  part  of  '  Seyton  '  is  (if  I  may 
be  allowed  the  expression)  the  one  which  holds  the  key, 
and  in  fact  the  lock,  to  the  entire  situation,  carrying  in 
its  possession  the  keystone  of  the  arch  on  which  the 
whole  structure  of  the  play  rests." 

"  Why,  you  surprise  me." 

"  Surprise  you  ?  Well,  sir,  if  you  had  played  the  part 
as  often  as  I  have,  nothing  would  surprise  you/'  said 
Mr.  Bearbull.  Everything  depends  on  the  'Macbeth' 
you  are  playing  with.  Some  actors  are  like  sucking 
doves.  They  go  through  with  the  business  ot  the  piece 
as  if  they  were  only  playing  the  part  of  a  gentle  love 
sick  swain,  while  others,  when  *  Seyton  '  comes  on  and 
announces  that  "  Birnam  Wood  hath  come  to  Dunsi- 
nane,"  rush  upon  the  bearer  of  this  news  as  hungry 
tigers  pounce  upon  their  helpless  victims  and  tear  them 
all  to  pieces." 

"  Is  it  possible,  sir,  that  actors  would  be  permitted  by 
their  managers  to  act  in  such  an  atrocious  manner?*' 

"  Atrocious  manner?  "  said  Bearbull.  "  Why,  my  dear 
sir,  a  manager  has  no  right  to  interfere  with  an  actor 
while  on  the  stage  before  an  audience.  If  he  makes 
a  hit  in  a  part,  no  matter  how  it  is  done  or  at  what 


56 

expense,  even  to  breaking  a  limb  of  a  fellow  actor,  no 
questions  are  asked  by  the  manager." 

"Then,  if  Mr.  Rushforth,  who  will  play  the  part, 
should  so  far  forget  himself  as  to  injure  me  while  on  the 
stage,  I  would  have  no  redress  from  our  manager?" 

"  Not  the  slightest,  Mr.  Blobson.  That  is,  if  he  made 
a  hit.  If  he  did  not,  the  manager  might  remonstrate 
with  him  in  the  usual  stage  style.  Nothing  more.  The 
actor  might  apologize  to  you,  but  would  consider  he 
had  degraded  himself  in  so  doing.  Leading  men,  my 
dear  sir,  look  upon  small  people,  /.  e.,  beginners  in  the 
dramatic  art,  as  of  no  value  to  themselves  or  to  others, 
and  feel  it  a  humiliation  to  be  seen  conversing  with  one 
of  them.  But,  comingback  to  our  subject,the  elder  Booth, 
as  '  Richard  the  III,'  was  known  to  often  chase,  with  sword 
in  hand,  the  unoffending  '  Richmond  '  from  the  stage  out 
into  the  streets,  who,  to  escape  his  anger,  would  conceal 
himself  till  Booth  regained  his  senses. 

"  I  will  never  forget  the  time  I  played  '  Seyton  '  to  the 
'  Macbeth  '  of  an  old  time  Barnstormer — Mr.  Edwin 
Forrest — whose  voice  was  like  thunder,  and  whose 
strength  was  unparalleled.  We  were  at  the  Griswold 
Opera  House,  in  Troy,  and  he  was  our  first  star 
at  the  opening  of  the  season.  He  informed  me  I 
would  have  to  wear  a  belt,  so  that  he  could  seize  me 
quickly  and  throw  me  gently  from  right  to  left  at 
night  after  I  make  my  announcement.  Well,  instead 
of  wearing  a  strong  leather  belt,  I  wore  a  thin  and 
very  flexible  rubber  belt.  The  night  arrived,  and 
with  it  my  scene  and  cue.  On  I  came  and  made 
my  announcement,  when  in  a  voice  of  thunder  he  rushed 
upon  me  to  throw  me  to  the  left  of  the  stage,  when, 
instead  of  throwing  me,  he  threw  himself  by  the  flexi 
bility  of  the  rubber  belt,  landing  some  fifteen  feet  from* 


BLOBSON    S      DIRE      MISHAPS.  57 

me.  The  surprise  to  him  of  my  occupying  an  erect 
position  while  he  was  prostrated,  and  the  audience  roar 
ing  at  him,  so  enraged  him  that  he  arose  and  rushed 
at  me  like  a  wild  steer.  He  made  a  terrific  blow  with 
his  fist  at  my  face,  but,  being  prepared  for  him  (hav 
ing  studied  the  art  of  self-defense  before  going  on  the 
stage),  I  did  not  fear  him,  and  at  it  we  went,  cross-cuts, 
upper-cuts,  around  the  stage  we  waltzed,  the  audience 
crying  out:  'Time!  give  it  to  him!  We'll  bet  on  the  lit 
tle  fellow.'  (That  was  me.)  'Macbeth'  being  a  good 
boxer,  I  had  all  I  could  do  to  manage  him,  and 
would  have  been  whipped  had  I  not  given  him  a  jugular 
blow,  which  dropped  him  and  dropped  the  play  for 
that  night.  So  you  see  by  this  how  important  a  part  is 
that  of  'Seyton.'" 

Brim,  after  assisting  in  this  kindly  advice  to  Blobson, 
encountered  Rushforth  in  his  dressing  room,  shortly 
after,  and  astonished  him  by  telling  him  to  watch  "  Sey- 
ton  "  when  he  came  on  to  make  his  announcement. 

"Why,  Mr.  Brim,  do  you  make  this  request  ?" 

"Simply  this.  Blobson  who  plays  the  part  has  a 
thirteen  barreled  pistol,  each  barrel  loaded  to  the  muzzle 
with  lead,  nails,  screws,  tacks  and  powder.  We 'have  ad 
vised  him  to  leave  it  in  his  dressing  room  till  he  finishes 
his  scene,  but  he  will  not  do  it,"  said  Brim. 

"Why  the  man  is  an  idiot,  and  might  do  some  person 
a  deadly  injury.  I  will  not  go  on  the  stage  if  he  plays 
the  part,"  said  Rushforth. 

"  Well,  Mr.  Rushforth,"  said  Brim,  (who,  fearing  the 
tale  he  told  Rushforth  might  prevent  him  going  on, 
which  would  spoil  everything,  thought  he  had  better 
change  his  tactics  )  "  Anderson  and  I  will  urge  Blobson 
to  give  up  his  pistol  or  leave  the  theatre.  Remain  here 
a  moment  and  I  will  return  with  an  answer." 


58  BLOBSON'S    DIRE    MISHAPS. 

In  a  few  moments  Brim  knocked  at  Rushforth's  dress 
ing  room  door  and  was  admitted. 

"Well,"  said  Rushforth,  "what  was  the  result  of  the 
conference  ?" 

"  Anderson  and  I  compelled  him  to  give  up  thepistol." 

"  Thank  heavens  for  that.  Why,  Mr.  Brim,  no  man's 
life  would  be  safe  on  the  stage  with  such  a  man  as  that. 
But  are  you  sure  he  has  not  another  weapon  concealed 
somewhere  about  his  person  ?" 

*'  We  searched  him  thoroughly  and  not  even  a  pin  was 
found  upon  him,"  said  Brim. 

**  'Tis  well,  and  I  breathe  easier.  You  may  now  go, 
and  before  parting  accept  my  thanks  for  your  kind 
ness." 

Brim  left  him  and  went  post  haste  to  Blobson's  room. 

'•  Blobson,''  said  he,  "  you  are  possibly  not  aware  that 
Rushforth  carries  a  forty-two  barrel  revolver,  are  you  ?" 

"  My  heavens,  no!  "  said  the  frightened  Blobson. 

"  Well,  he  does,  and  in  his  angry  scene  in  '  Macbeth  ' 
should  he  pull  it  on  you,  step  quickly  to  the  left  third 
entrance,  and  we  will  have  a  self-loading  rifle  ready  to 
place  in  your  hando  the  moment  he  attempts  to  draw 
for  you." 

'*  But  he  may  shoot  before  you  hand  me  the  rifle,"  said 
Blobson. 

"  Have  no  fear  on  that  score,  for  if  you  do  not  get 
your  rifle  in  time  Anderson  and  I  will  cover  you  from 
the  wings  with  two  hair-trigger  rifles,  which  kill  at  a 
distance  of  six  miles  or  more." 

"  The  moment  Rushforth  sees  you  raise  your  rifle, 
he  is  such  a  coward  he  will  fall  on  his  knees  before  you 
and  cry  for  mercy." 

<k  He  is  then  a  coward  of  the  most  abject  kind  and  he 
will  run  rather  than  show  fight,"  said  Brim. 


BLOBSON'S    DIRE    MISHAPS.  59 

"  I  will  follow  your  advice  to  the  letter  and  show  the 
bold  Rushforth  the  mettle  I  am  made  of,  Mr.  Brim." 

**  Well,  I  will  now  leave  you  for  the  present.  '  Screw 
your  courage  to  the  sticking  point  and  there  will  be 
no  such  word  as  fail.'  "  And  away  went  Brim. 

The  theatre  on  the  night  of  the  performance  was 
crammed  to  the  doors,  as  it  had  been  hinted  about  town 
something  of  a  novel  and  startling  character  would  be 
introduced  during  the  action  of  the  piece.  Every  person 
in  the  town  had  heard  of  it,  and  when  asked  what  the 
innovation  was  they  could  not  tell,  but  it  was  to  be  some 
thing  awful.  Well,  the  night  for  the  production  came 
as  well  as  everything  else,  and,  as  before  stated,  not  a 
seat  could  be  had  after  the  doors  opened,  even  standing 
room  was  at  a  premium.  Every  one,  from  the  manager 
to  the  supernumeraries  was  in  the  dark  as  to  the  crowded 
house,  and  yet  if  Brim,  Bearbull,  or  Anderson,  were 
asked  about  it  they  could  have  easily  explained  matters. 

These  three  worthies  when  approached  looked  like 
graven  images,  consequently  no  one  bothered  them  on 
the  subject. 

When  Blobson  came  up  that  night  from  his  dressing 
room,  ready  to  go  on  the  stage,  he  presented  an  ex 
tremely  ludicrous  appearance.  Brim  had  padded  Blob- 
son's  nose,  or  in  plainer  words,  taken  a  lump  of  cotton, 
smeared  the  underside  of  it  with  shellac,  then  placed  it 
on  his  nose,  padded  or  pressed  it  on  so  that  it  would  not 
fall  off,  dotted  the  outside  of  it  with  Chinese  red  and  a 
large  black  ring  or  wart  on  it.  His  eyebrows  were  large 
and  bushy,  made  of  cotton,  and  held  on  by  the  same 
means  as  the  nose;  while  his  face  was  whitened  with 
bismuth,  with  the  left  eye  covered  over  with  a  black 
ring,  strongly  suggestive  of  a  serious  street  brawl,  and 
a  Falstaff  suit  of  doublet  and  trunks  gave  him  the 
5 


60  BLOBSON'S    DIRE    MISHAPS. 

appearance  not  of  a  soldier  of  "Macbeth's"  army  but  as 
"  Falstaff  "  in  the  "  Merry  Wives  of  Windsor." 

Brim  and  Anderson  kept  Blobson  in  the  second  en 
trance  \right\  so  that  the  Stage  Manager  could  not  meet 
him,  or  he  would  not  be  allowed  to  go  on  that  night,  or 
any  other  for  the  matter  of  that. 

Brim  kept  urging  him  to  remember  when  he  went  on, 
to  watch  *•  Macbeth,"  or  a  terrible  injury  might  be  in 
flicted  upon  him. 

"The  first  attempt  he  makes  to  seize  you/'  said  An 
derson,  "  give  him  your  foot  and  throw  him,  or  he  will 
throw  you,  possibly  into  the  orchestra." 

In  the  meantime  Brim  had  secretly  tied  to  Blobson's 
doublet  at  the  back  a  pack  of  extra  large  cannon  fire 
crackers,  and  kept  a  lighted  cigar  in  close  proximity  to 
the  bunch  of  explosives.  The  cue  was  given  by  "  Mac 
beth"  for  Blobson  to  come  on.  Brim  touched  one  of  the 
explosives,  and  as  he  rushed  on,  and  before  l<  Macbeth  " 
had  time  to  say  "  Thou  comest  to  use  thy  tongue;  thy 
story  quickly,"  off  went  one  of  the  explosives  behind  him, 
and,  supposing  "  Macbeth  "  had  in  his  excitement  fired 
a  bullet  at  him,  Blobson  rushed  upon  him  and  seized 
him.  As  he  did  so  another  shot  was  heard.  "  Macbeth" 
fearing  he  was  to  be  murdered  tried  to  throw  Blobson 
off,  which  only  excited  Blobson  the  more.  Ever  and 
anon  through  the  hand  to  hand  encounter  the  loud  re 
port  of  one  or  more  of  the  fire-crackers  would  be  heard, 
and  the  contestants  would  struggle  the  harder/'Macbeth" 
trying  to  disentangle  himself  from  the  embraces  of  a 
strange  assassin  (for  such  he  believed  Blobson  to  be, 
having  every  indication  of  it),  while  Blobson  feared 
'•Macbeth"  was  in  one  of  his  spells,  and  if  he  released  him 
his  life  would  be  the  penalty,  they  continued  to  struggle. 
Those  who  were  in  the  seats  nearest  the  stage  made 


DIRE     MISHAPS.  6  I 

hasty  exits  to  the  rear  of  the  theatre  at  each  explosion 
of  a  fire-cracker,  which  would  give  out  a  sound  similar 
to  a  small  cannon.  Every  one  of  the  company  was  in  the 
wings.  The  orchestra  was  filled  with  the  musicians,  who 
sat  there  spell-bound, .looking  like  statues,  not  knowing 
what  would  be  the  ending. 

Blobson  and  "Macbeth"  continued  to  hold  on  to  each 
other,  moving  in  a  deadly  embrace,  first  across  the  stage, 
from  right  to  left,  then  up  and  down  the  centre,  to  the 
accompaniment  of  an  explosive  from  Blobson's  rear  bat 
tery  ;  all  of  a  sudden  the  whole  bunch  of  explosives  or 
what  was  left  of  them  went  off  with  a  noise  similar  to  a 
discharge  of  musketry;  the  shock  was  so  great  to  the 
contestants  that  fright  nearly  paralyzed  them.  Brim 
seized  the  rain  machine  and  was  sending  down  torrents 
on  the  stage,  the  thunder  was  worked  by  the  heavy  man, 
who  rattled  it  fiercely,  and  with  the  firing  of  Blobson's 
gun  fire-crackers,  it  made  the  scene  a  dreadful  one  to 
the  audience.  The  musicians  tried  to  escape  under  the 
stage,  but  the  door  was  fastened  and  they  became  panic- 
stricken.  The  contestants  were  jumping  and  rolling 
about  the  stage  to  free  themselves  from  each  other's 
grasp,  and  in  their  last  effort  Blobson  was  thrown  head 
foremost  into  the  orchestra,  landing  on  his  head  upon 
the  bass  drum;  from  this  he  bounded  off,  and  striking 
the  leader  with  his  feet  unseated  him  in  double  quick 
time.  While  "Macbeth,"'  in  trying  to  free  himself  from 
Blobson,  made  a  leap  towards  the  audience,  missed  his 
distance  and  brought  up  on  the  big,  double  bass  viol, 
crushing  it  to  pieces.  The  owner  of  it  jumped  over  the 
rail,  running  out-  towards  the  front  entrance  of  the 
theatre,  and  was  followed  by  the  entire  audience,  howl 
ing,  crying  and  gesticulating  wildly.  Some  were  shout 
ing  the  theatre  was  on  fire,  others  averred  the  walls  were 


62 


BLOBS  ON  7S      DIRE      MISHAPS. 


falling  in.  The  doors  were  soon  closed,  the  company 
went  home,  and  Blobson  was  not  seen  for  three  days,  or 
at  least  till  the  joke  was  explained  to  the  manager. 


Miss  NEILSEN  and  Miss  DAVENPORT 
in.  the  12th  Ni#ht, 


CHAPTER  XL 


THE  STAGE  REHEARSAL  CONTINUED. 

JT  the  call  of  the  Stage  Manager  everything 
was  in  readiness  on  Friday  morning  to  go 
on  with  the  rehearsal  of  the  "EXTREMES  OF 
MARRIED  LIFE." 

"  Now  then,"  said  Stacy,  "  you  will,  Mr.  Barnaby 
Meek,  commence  the  scene." 

B.  MEEK:     "  Well,  where  do  I  come  on  ?" 

STACY:  "  From  centre  door,  of  course." 

B.  MEEKS:  "Well,  it  is  not  in  my  part." 

STACY:  "Well,  mark  it  now,  so  that  you  will  have  it 
at  the  next  rehearsal —  Mr.  Brim,  please  stop  trying  to 
balance  chairs  on  your  nose  while  the  rehearsal  is  going 
on.  Now,  then,  Mr.  Meek,  go  on  with  your  scene." 

S.  MEEK:     "  Did  you  call  me? " 

STACY:  "  No,  sir.  I  spoke  to  Barnaby.  Now,  then, 
let's  get  on  with  the  scene." 

B.  MEEK:  [Enters  c.  dj\  "  Well,  I  wonder,  where  is 
my  brother?  As  I  live;  here  he  comes!  At  least,  I  think 
I  hear  his  footsteps.  Yes,  here  he  is! " 

Barnaby  waits  and,  seeing  no  one  entering,  turns  to 
wards  the  stage  manager  who  is  closely  engaged  at  the 
first  entrance  in  deep  conversation  with  a  young  lady. 

MR.  B.  MEEK:  "  Mr.  Stacy,  will  you  permit  me  to  ask, 
why  my  brother  is  not  on  the  stage?" 


64  BLOBSON'S    DIRE    MISHAPS. 

STACY  (very  much  confused):  "  your  brother — stage 
— oh! — ah! — excuse  me!  Where  are  you  now." 

B.  MEEK:     "  Waiting  for  my  brother  to  come  on." 

STACY:  "Ah!  yes!  (Assuming  his  usual  composure.) 
Sammy  Meek,  the  stage  is  waiting  for  you!  " 

S.  MEEK  (who  has  been  engaged  in  chatting  with  one 
of  the  lady  novices):  "  All  right,  sir.  Is  that  me?" 

STACY:  "  Yes,  sir;  it  is  you,  and  I  wish  to  say,  sir, 
(very  dignified)  you  should  wait  till  the  rehearsal  is  over 
if  you  wish  to  converse  with  ladies." 

S.  MEEK:     "  All  right,  sir.     What's  my  business  here?" 

STACY:     "  Why,  you  bring  on  a  stage-baby  with  you." 

B.  MEEK:     Well,  Sammy,  are  you  the  nurse?" 

SAMMY:  "  Well,  no.  That  is,  my  wife  goes  out;  I 
look  after  young  Sammy  and  attend  to  domestic  affairs." 

B.  MEEK:  "You  do,  eh?"  You  let  your  wife  run  the 
street  to  flirt  with  other  men  while  you  do  the  domestic 
work,  eh?" 

(Sammy  places  baby  in  cradle  and  brings  flat  iron 
from  stove  and  commences  to  iron  clothes.) 

B.  MEEK:     "  Why,  what  are  you  going  to  do  now?" 

SAMMY:  "  Well,  the  fact  is,  I  am  going  to  iron  a  few 
things  for  the  baby.  Children  require  a  good  many 
changes  of  linen." 

BARNABY:  "  You  pretend  to  tell  me  you  do  the  wash 
ing  and  ironing  of  the  baby's  linen?  Haven't  you  the 
means  to  employ  a  servant?" 

SAMMY:  "  Oh,  we  have  plenty  of  means  but,  the  fact 
is,  my  wife  is  a  very  jealous  woman  and  can't  bear  to 
have  a  servant  in  the  house,  as  she  says  she  don't  know 
what  might  happen  while  she  was  out.  Besides,  her 
mother  objects  on  the  very  same  ground." 

BARNABY:  "They  object,  do  they?  Why,  you  idiot, 
do  you  swallow  such  rot  as  that?  You  wait  till  I  come 


IJ  L  O  B  S  O  N  '  S     DIRE      MISHAPS.  65 

across  this  pig-headed  old  mother-in-law  of  yours,  as 
well  as  your  ducksy  of  a  wife.  Won't  I  have  a  go 
with  them?  You  just  wait!  I  suppose  you  will  tell  me, 
you  sometimes  do  the  same  kind  act  with  your  wife's 
linen,  eh?" 

SAMMY:     "  Well,  sometimes,  when  she  runs  short,  I  do." 

BARNABY:  "Good  Heavens!  My  brother  washing 
and  ironing  for  his  baby  and  his  wife!  Well,  wonders 
will  never  cease.  Why  don't  you  stick  a  sign  on  the 
outside  of  your  house,  *  Washing  and  ironing  taken  in 
by  Sammy  Meek.'  Well,  to  think  I  should  ever  live  to 
see  the  day  when  my  brother  would  be  washing  and 
ironing  for  a  family.  Have  you  no  dignity,  no  manhood 
left? 

SAMMY  (runs  up  to  door  and  looks  out):  "  As  I  live, 
Barnaby,  here  comes  mother-in-law.  Go  and  hide  under 
the  bed,  or  there  will  be  an  awful  row." 

BARNABY  :  What,  me  go  hide  under  the  bed?  I  guess 
not"  (flourishes  stick).  [Enter mother-in-law] 

MOTHER-IN-LAW:  "  What,  a  stranger  here,  and  in  the 
absence  of  your  wife?  Do  you  know,  sir,  (to  Barnaby) 
as  the  parent  of  Mrs.  Meek,  you  are  taking  a  great 
liberty  in  being  here  without  my  consent?  Do  you 
know  that,  sir  ? 

BARNABY:  '•  Madam,  I  wish  you  to  understand  this  is 
my  brother's  house,  and  I  cannot  see  what  authority  you 
have  in  addressing  me  as  you  do;  and  what  is  more,  I 
will  take  none  of  your  impudence,  mother-in-law,  father- 
in-law,  sister-in  or  any  other  law  ." 

.  SAMMY  (near  door):  ''Oh,  Lord,  there's  going  to  be  a 
row." 

MOTHER:  "  Sammy,  who  is  this  person  ?"  pointing  at 
Barnaby. 

BARNABY:     "  This  person  is  the  brother  of  your  un- 


66  BLOBSON'S    DIRE    MISHAPS. 

fortunate  son-in-law:  and  I  intend  he  shall  no  longer 
stay  in  a  place  where  he  is  the  slave  of  two  women  who 
wa  k  the  streets  while  the  husband  does  the  washing 
and  ironing  of  a  whole  family  and  runs  under  the  bed  at 
the  approach  of  his  mother-in-law." 

MOTHER  (to  Sammy):  "  Is  this  the  way  you  permit 
me  to  be  insulted  by  your  brute  of  a  brother  ?  What 
are  you  thinking  about  ?" 

SAMMY:  "I  was  thinking  it  is  my  wife's  place  to  stay 
at  home  and  do  housework,  instead  of  romping  the 
streets." 

MOTHER:  "  My  angelic  daughter  romping  the  streets; 
why,  you  good-for-nothing,  miserable  creature,  you. 
How  dare  you!''  \_Enter  Mrs.  Meck^\ 

MRS.  MEEK:  "Why,  my  dear  ma,  who  is  this  ugly 
looking  person  ?" 

MOTHER:  <;  The  beloved  brother  of  your  miserable 
monkey-husband,  who  has  notified  me  I  must  leave  this 
house." 

MRS.  M.:  "  Leave  this  house  !  Well,  that  is  refresh 
ing  from  a  stranger  I  never  saw  before,  to  order  my 
mother  to  leave  my  house." 

BARNABY:  "  Permit  me  to  observe,  this  house  is  not 
yours,  but  mine;  bought  and  paid  for  by  me,  and  per 
mission  given  your  husband  to  its  use;  and  it  he  were  to 
leave  you  to-morrow  and  let  you  and  your  mother  hunt 
for  your  own  support,  outside  of  this  house,  it  would  be 
better  for  him,  for  here  he  has  no  home,  but  a  life  of  mis 
ery  and  drudgery,  while  you  leave  your  home  and  child 
to  romp  the  streets,  to  flirt  with  men  who  pretend  to  be 
long  to  the  nobility  and  make  you  their  dupe,  and  your 
mother  upholds  you  in  so  doing." 

MOTHER-IN-LAW:  "  I  never  heard  such  outrageous 
language  in  all  my  life.  Why  do  you  not  call  the  officer 


DIRE      MISHAPS.  67 

of  the  law  and  have  him  ejected  ?  Oh,  if  I  were  only  a 
man  for  ten  minutes,  I'd  teach  him  the  respect  due  to 
our  sex." 

BARNABY:  "  If  you  were  a  man  you  would  be  ashamed 
of  your  own  and  your  daughter's  conduct,  keeping  the 
company  of  pretended  lords,  who  are  only  waiters  or 
barbers  in  disguise.'' 

MRS.  M:  ''Barbers,  waiters!  I  associate  with  that 
class!  Heaven  forbid!" 

[Knock  at  door.     Enter  DeCharles.] 

DECHARLES:  "  Ah,  ladies,  how  are  you  ?  By  the  way, 
who  is  this?''  (Pointing  at  Barnaby.) 

MRS.  M:  "He  claims  to  be  my  brother-in-law,  and 
has  been  abusing  us  as  if  we  were  the  very  worst  crea 
tures  in  town." 

DEC.  (To  Barnaby):  "  Do  you  hear  what  this  lady 
has  said?  Do  you  hear,  sir?" 

BARNABY:  "  I  did,  and  I  beg  that  you  will  not  yell 
your  remarks  at  me  in  that  manner,  it  makes  me  ner 
vous." 

DEC.:  "Makes  you  nervous,  does  it?  Well,  ladies> 
just  watch  me  make  this  person  more  nervous.  I  won't 
leave  a  nerve  in  his  body  in  ten  minutes.  I'll  serve  him 
for  his  impudence." 

DEC.  (To  Barnaby):  "Do  you  know,  sir,  that  you 
have  insulted  these  ladies,  and  that  I,  one  of  the  nobility, 
am  going  to  thrash  you  for  it,  and  then  throw  you  head 
long  into  the  street?  Do  you  hear  me?" 

BARNABY:  "  I  do,  and  you  make  me  awfully  nervous. 
Please  don't  speak  so  loud  or  you  will  really  frighten 
me." 

DEC.  (To  ladies):  "You  hear,  ladies,  and  now  see 
what  a  miserable  hound  he  is." 

SAMMY  (Pulls  Barnaby's  coat,  and  whispers  to  him.): 


68  BLOBSON'S    DIRE    MISHAPS. 

"  Oh,  Barnaby,  we  had  better  run  for  it  or  this  lord  will 
wallop  us  both.  I'll  take  the  window  and  you  the  door.'' 

BARNABY:  "Sammy,  you.re  a  fool.  Wait  and  we'll  see 
the  end  of  this  very  soon." 

DEC.:  "Ladies,  watch  me  ring  this  cur's  ear,  and 
then  toss  him  out  doors."  (Goes  over  to  Barnaby; 
reaches  to  tweak  his  nose;  Barnaby  hits  him  full  in  the 
face,  and  as  DeCharles  is  falling,  he  catches  his  hair  and 
whiskers,  and  drags  both  off.) 

BARNABY:  "Ladies,  now  look  at  your  lord,  who  is 
nothing  but  a  common  barber  in  the  next  street." 

LADIES:     "  A  barber!  " 

BARNABY:  "Yes,  a  barber.  You  can  rise."  (To  De- 
Charles.) 

DEC.:  "  Yes,  ladies,  that  is  my  calling,  and  I  will  bid 
you  good  day.  (Goes  to  door.)  And  as  for  you  (to  Bar 
naby)  I'll  settle  with  you  for  this  some  day."  [He  exits.] 

BARNABY:  "You  see,  ladies,  I  knew  this  barber  bet 
ter  than  you  did." 

LADIES:     "  You  did,  and  we  thank  you  indeed." 

MRS.  M.:  "  And  if  my  dear  husband  will  only  forgive 
me,  my  house,  my  husband  and  baby  will  be  my  only 
care." 

SAMMY:  "You  have  my  forgiveness  already,  and  I 
now  propose  we  have  a  real  jolly  supper,  and  a  general 
good  time,  so  that  we  may  forget  the  past  and  live  only 
for  the  future  and  the  happiness  of  all. 

[Enter  a  servant.]:  "  Oh,  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Meek,  there  is 
a  terrible  time  at  Mrs.  Drum's  house,  and  she  wishes 
some  one  to  come  at  once."  [Exit.] 

SAMMY:  "  Trouble  at  Mrs.  Drum's.  Well,  as  we  have 
settled  our  troubles  at  home,  let  us  away  and  see  what 
we  can  do  for  Mrs.  Drum's  troubles."  [All  exit] 


69 

CHANGE  OF  SCENE. 

The  exterior  of  an  inn  yard,  table  and  chairs  on  r.  of  c. 
DeCharles  enters  as  Lord  Go  Away,  accompanied  by 
Tipperman,  from  c. 

LORD  Go  AWAY:  "  Landlord,  my  room.  My  lady, 
you  will  go  into  the  parlor  and  remain  for  a  moment." 

TIPPERMAN:  "My  lord,  I  would  like  to  say  a  word 
before  you  go  in  the  house.  You  intend,  as  I  under 
stand  it,  to  make  this  young  person  you  came  here  with 
your  wife,  T  believe?" 

LORD  Go  AWAY:  Make  her  my  wife?  Why  I  mar 
ried  her  not  two  hours  ago,  and  here  is  the  marriage 
certificate;  you  see  her  name  and  my  own  attached  to  it." 

TIPPERMAN:  "That  is  binding,  sure  enough!  Reads: 
(  Ladie  de  Housie — '  Was  that  her  name  before  she 
was  married!  " 

LORD  Go  AWAY:     "  Why  certainly." 

TIPPERMAN:  "  Well,  sir,  when  I  knew  her,  she  was 
known  as  Betty  Sulli,  a  chambermaid." 

LORD  Go  AWAY:  "  Betty  Sulli?  Then  she  has  de 
ceived  me  and  I  am  a  ruined  man." 

"  Ask  her  and  she  may  tell  you  all.  I'll  retain  this  till 
the  morning.  [Pockets  marriage  certificate  and  exits .] 

LORD  Go  AWAY:  "  To  think  that  I,  known  as  [Betty 
steals  on  at  back.]  DeCharles,  now  Lord  Go  Away,  barber 
by  profession,  a  love  maker  to  the  best  ladies  in  the  land, 
husband  for  ten  years  to  one  wife  and  now  married  to 
another,  expecting  her  a  lady  of  great  means, to  find  she 
followed  the  business  of  a  scourer  of  pots,  kettles,  and 
a  chambermaid.  Its  awful!  "  \Belty  comes  down  c  ] 

BETTY:  "  Ah!  My  lord!  I  was  coming  to  speak  with 
you." 

LORD:     "  Yes,  madam;  and  I  am  glad   we  have  met. 


70  BLOBSON'S    DIRE    MISHAPS. 

How  dare  you  impose  on  a  man  of  my  standing;  to  de 
ceive  a  man  of  my  ancestry." 

BETTY:     *•'  And  I  am  deceived  by  a  common  barber." 
LORD   Go  AWAY:     "To  pass  yourself  upon    me  as  a 
lady  of  birth  and  station." 

BETTY:  "  To  pretend  to  be  a  lord;  and  only  a  lather 
scraper." 

LORD  Go  AWAY:  "  To  be  only  a  bed  maker  and  a  pot 
scourer.  But  I'll  have  a  divorce." 

BETTY:  *'  You  have,  now,  a  second  wife,  and  that's 
transportation." 

LORD  Go  AWAY:  "So  it  is!  I  forgot  that!  Say  Betty, 
will  you  go  into  the  inn?  And  we  will  see  how  we  can 
arrange  matters."  [Exit  into  /'«//.] 

"  Now,  ladies  and  gentlemen,"  said  Stage  Manager 
Stacy  to  his  company  as  they  stood  around  the  stove  in 
the  green  room,  one  morning,  "  We  will  have  to  forget 
the  cold,  miserable  weather  outside,  and  rush  our  re 
hearsal  through  as  there  is  much  work  to  do  in  getting 
the  stage  ready  for  to-night's  performance.  We  will  now 
try  and  see  how  quickly  we  can  get  through  with  it.  I 
would  particularly  remind  every  member  of  this,  the 
Never  Get  Left  Dramatic  Company,  that  the  eyes  of  the 
whole  town  are  looking  at  us  and,  to  make  a  success, 
there  must  be  no  sky-larking  to-day,  during  rehearsal. 
Now  then  we  will  proceed  to  work.  (They  all  go  upon 
the  stage  ) 

STACY:     "Now,  then,  Drum,  that's  you." 
DRUM:     "Me,  why,  I  am  not  in  this  scene,  am  I?" 
STACY:     "  Well,  rather,  that  is  if  you  play  the  part  you 
are  cast  for." 

DRUM:     "  All  right.     But  where  do  I  come  on?" 
STACY:     "  Well,  for  an  actor  of  your  age  and  experi- 


DIRE      MISHAPS.  7 1 

ence,  I  am  astonished  at  such  a  question.  Don't  it  say 
you  enter  through  a  window?" 

DRUM:     "  It  does.     But  where  is  the  window?'' 

STACY:  "Why,  why!  (To  stage  carpenter.)  Smiggs, 
does  your  stage  plot  call  for  a  window  in  flat?" 

SMIGGS:     "  Yes,  sir.'' 

STACY:     "  Then,  where  is  it?" 

SMIGGS:  "It's  not  made  yet.  I  sent  to  the  manager 
for  ten  cents'  worth  of  screws,  but  'e  'asn't  returned  yet." 

STACY:  "  Well,  we  'can't  wait  here  all  day  for  those 
screws.  Let's  go  on.  Mr.  Blobson,  if  you  must  use  that 
vile  weed,  tobacco,  don't  expectorate  behind  the  wings." 

BLOBSON;     "  I  see  no  other  place." 

STACY:     "  I  do." 

BLOBSON:     "Where?" 

STACY:     "  Why,  swallow  it." 

BLOBSON:     "Oh,  Lord!" 

STACY:  "Come,  now,  Drum,  let's  get  on.  You  will, 
in  the  absence  of  a  window,  jump  off  a  chair  into  the 
room.  Now,  then,  now,  then,  go  on." 

DRUM  (Jumps  off  chair):  4<  Ah,  here  I  am,  once  again. 
But  where,  let  me  see,  if  I  can,  where  I  am.  As  sure  as 
I  am  alive,  this  is  my  old  room.  Have  a  care,  corporal, 
you  have  been  away  now  nearly  two  years,  and  your 
wife,  that  was,  might  now  be  somebody  else's  wife; 
besides  I  am  a  deserter  from  my  regiment,  and  if  she  is 
married  again,  and  I  kicks  up  a  row  about  it,  she  may 
have  me  nabbed,  and  then  I'll  be  scragged  or  shot.  Oh, 
Lord,  what's  that?  (Shouts  heard  outside.)  My  pursu 
ers  are  after  me.  Where  can  I  conceal  myself?  Under 
the  bed  ;  so  I  will." 

DRUM:     "  Where  is  the  bed,  Mr.  Stacy?" 

STACY:     "  Bed,  bed.     What  bed?" 

DRUM:     "  Why,  the  bed  I  am  to  hide  under." 


72  BLOBSON    S      DlRE      MISHAPS. 

STACV  (Looking  at  manuscript):  "Oh,  yes,  I  see. 
Why  the  bed  is  on  right  of  c.\  at  least  it  will  be  there  at 
night.  Just  stand  behind  a  chair  for  the  present."  (He 
goes  behind  chair.) 

DRUM:  "  My  pursuers  will  be  sure  to  see  me  here 
when  they  come  on." 

STACY:  "Suppose  they  do,  they  are  not  expected 
to  see  you,  and  if  they  do,  it  amounts  to  nothing." 

STACY:  "  Now,  then,  Mrs.  Drum."  (Enter  Mrs.  Drum. 
Stage  dark.) 

MRS.  D.:     "All  seems  quiet." 

DRUM  (Aside):  "  Ah,  there's  the  voice  of  my  own  lit 
tle  wife.  (Ahem):  Aloud!'5 

MRS.  DRUM:  "So,  so,  Mr.  Gibbs,  is  here,  eh,  and  in 
concealment,  too." 

DRUM:     "  Mary,  my  love."     (Sofia  voce.) 

MRS.  DRUM:  "  Well,  I  am  sure.  What  next  will  I 
hear,  and  from  a  ghost? " 

DRUM  (Astonished):     "  A  ghost." 

MRS.  D.:  "Although  it  is  dark  here,  I  know  your 
voice." 

DRUM:     "Then  come  to  my  arms,  my — " 

MRS.  D.:     "  Stand  off,  you  midnight  apparition." 

DRUM:     "  Mary,  my  love,  I  am  your  husband." 

MRS.  D.:     "  You  told  me  that  last  night." 

DRUM:     "  Last  night." 

MRS.  D.:  "Yes,  and  for  several  nights  past.  But  it 
won't  do  Mr.  Gibbs.  You're  found  out  although  you 
think  not." 

DRUM:  "  Played  the  husband?  Has  this  Gibbs  been 
passing  himself  off  as  her  husband,  in  my  place?" 

MRS.  D.:  "Now,  then,  leave  this  room.  Vanish  up 
the  chimney.  You  have  done  it  that  way  before." 


BLOBSON'S    DIRE    MISHAPS.  73 

DRUM:  "  Why,  the  woman  must  be  crazy!  Had  you 
not  better  go  to  bed?" 

MRS.  D.:  "  And  you  in  my  room?  No,  sir!  Mr.  Gibbs, 
if  you  do  not  leave  at  once,  I'll  report  you  to  your  col 
onel.  You  see,  I  know  you  and  was,  this  time,  prepared 
for  your  visit." 

DRUM:  "  I  won't  leave  here  for  you,  the  colonel  or  the 
regiment!  " 

MRS.  D.:     "  Very  well,  sir."  [Exit.'] 

DRUM:  "  Well,  this  is  a  nice  situation  for  a  married 
man  to  be  in  after  trying  to  escape  the  soldiers  who  were 
seeking  me  for  a  deserter;  to  be  treated  in  this  way  by 
my  wife.  (A  noise  is  heard  in  the  chimney.) 

VOICE  (in  chimney):     "  Help  me!  I'm  dying!  " 

DRUM:  "  Dying,  are  you?  Well,  that's  a  very  dirty 
place  to  die  in!  Here,  give  me  one  of  your  legs.  (What 
if  this  should  be  the  Gibbs  that  has  been  personating  me. 
If  it  is,  I'll  kill  him  after  he  falls  dead,  out  of  the 
chimney!)"  (Drum  conceals  himself  behind  the  bed.) 

GIBBS  (Falls  out  of  chimney  on  the  floor):  ""Well, 
here  I  am;  but  I  never  thought  I  would  be  able  to  get 
down  that  chimney  with  all  these  clothes  on.  Never 
mind,  here  I  am,  and  now  to  see  my  darling  Mary." 

DRUM  (Very  near  him  at  back):  "And  I'm  here  to 
see  you."  (Aside.) 

(Drum  puts  on  his  wife's  night-cap,  and  gets  cautiously 
into  the  bed.) 

GIBBS:  "I  wish  these  habiliments  were  on  a  smaller 
scale;  they  impede  the  spirituality  of  motion  so  neces 
sary  to  my  ghostly  character!  (He  approaches  the  foot 
of  the  bed,  making  several  preparatory  evolutions  a  la 
ghost.)  I  wish  I  could  delicately  ascertain  whether  she 
sleeps.  (The  Corporal  gives  a  loud  snore.)  That's  un 
equivocal  evidence!  (The  snore  is  repeated.)  A  decided 


74  BLOBSON    S      DIRE      MISHAPS. 

case  of  snore!  Her  olfactory  organs  must  be  consider 
ably  out  of  order;  for  that  so  delicate  a  creature  can  be 
an  habitual  snorer  is  too  horrible  a  supposition.  How 
soundly  she  sleeps  !  Perchance  she  dreams  of  me. 

DRUM:     "  Oh,  you  scoundrel."     (In  the  bed.) 

GIBBS:  "She  must  mean  me.  Listen,  thou  slumber 
ing  beauty.  (Shakes  -the  bed.)  She  must  sleep  very 
sound." 

DRUM  (Imitates  woman's  voice):     ''Ah,  is  it  you?" 

GIBBS  (Aside):  "She  expects  me.  Now  for  my  ghostly 
and  sepulchral  voice:  It  is  I,  from  the  bottom  of  the 
ocean;  I,  your  husband." 

DRUM  (Aside):     "  The  ghostly  villain." 

GIBBS:  "  This  is  the  tenth  time  I  have  quitted  my  sea- 
water  bed  to  appear  here  before  you,  and  to  induce  you 
to  forget  that  old  buzzard  of  a  husband  of  yours,  who 
is  now  only  a  spirit,  and  marry  Gibbs.  Did  you  not 
promise  if  I  did  not  again  visit  you  you  would  do  it?" 

DRUM  (In  a  female  voice):  "  No,  I'll  be  h d  if  I 

did." 

GIBBS:     "  What  is  thy  objection?" 

DRUM:     "Gibbs  is  an  idiot." 

GIBBS:     "  That  is  an  answer  I  will  not  take." 

DRUM  (In  bed,  reaches  out  his  shoe  and  lets  it  drive 
at  Gibbs,  and  sends  him  sprawling  on  the  floor):  "  Then, 
take  that." 

GIBBS:  "  Murder!  Murder!"  (And  runs  towards 
chimney.) 

(Enter  officer  and  soldiers,  with  Fanny  leading.  They 
seize  Gibbs  and  prevent  his  escape  up  chimney.  Drum 
slips  quietly  out  of  bed  and  conceals  himself. 

OFFICER  (To  Gibb^):  "I  arrest  you,  Corporal  Drum, 
as  a  deserter  from  the  King's  services." 


DIRE      MISHAPS.  75 

GIBBS:  "Drum!  Corporal  Drum!  Officer,  you  must 
have  been  drinking.  I  am  not  Drum." 

(Corporal  Drum  shows  himself  at  back  to  Fanny 
who,  seeing  him,  is  surprised.  He  comes  down,  motions 
to  Fanny  not  to  betray  him,  then  advances  to  officer.) 

OFFICER  (To  Drum):  "What  is  your  business  in  this 
room,  and  at  this  hour?'' 

DRUM  (Points  to  Gibbs):  "  I  cannot  explain  in  the 
presence  of  the  husband  whose  wife  resides  here.  You 
understand,  eh?''  (Nudges  officer.) 

OFFICER:  "Oh,  I  see;  a  little  intrigue.  Ha!  ha!  ha!'' 
(Points  to  Gibbs.) 

GIBBS:     *'  Might  I  ask  the  cause  of  your  merriment?  " 

OFFICER:  "  Never  mind,  sir.  Come,  Corporal  Drum, 
fall  in." 

GIBBS:  "I  told  you  a  moment  ago  I  was  not  Cor 
poral  Drum;  my  name  is  Gibbs." 

OFFICER:  "Well,  Drum  or  Gibbs,  you  must  go  with 
me." 

MRS.  D.  (Enters.  She  sees  Drum,  recognizes  him  and 
cries  out):  "Heavens!  My  husband!"  Looks  in  disgust 
at  Gibbs  and  faints  in  chair. 

OFFICER  (To  Gibbs):  "You  see,  sir,  your  wife  has 
recognized  you." 

GIBBS:     "  Nonsense,  man,  you  are  all  mixed  up!  " 

FANNY  (Aside  to  Mrs.  Drum  who  has  revived):  "  Go 
and  make  love  to  Gibbs;  it  is  the  only  way  to  save  your 
husband,  here,  from  arrest." 

MRS.  D.  (Rushes  to  Gibbs):  My  darling  husband,  do 
I,  once  again,  see  you  after  your  long  absence?" 

GIBBS:  "  Keep  your  darling  words  for  some  one  else 
I  have  had  too  much  of  this  already.  Leave  me." 

MRS.  D.:     "  Not  one  darling  embrace?  " 

GIBBS:     "  Not  an  embrace!  " 


76  BLOBSON'S    DIRE    MISHAPS. 

MRS.  D.:     "  Not  a  little  bit  of  a  one?  " 

GIBBS:  "  No,  I'll  be  shot  and  scragged  afterwards  and 
then  I  wouldn't!  " 

OFFICER:     <;  You'll  be  shot  any  way." 

GIBBS:     "  That's  cheering." 

Soldier  brings  in  package  to  the  officer  who  opens  and 
reads. 

OFFICER:  "  What's  this:  '  You  willgiveupany  further 
search  for  Corporal  Drum  who  was  accused  of  killing  his 
captain  and  deserting  the  service.  The  said  captain  was 
not  killed,  as  reported,  but  was  taken  prisoner  and  is  now 
safe  and  sound  in  camp.  Post  this  notice  in  a  prominent 
place.'  " 

DRUM:     "  Hurrah!   Hurrah!     Wife,  come  to  my  arms." 

MRS.  D.:     "  My  dear  husband!  " 

OFFICER:     "  Are  you,  then,  Corporal  Drum?  " 

DRUM:     "  The  same,  sir;  at  your  service." 

OFFICER:     "  And  this  is?"     (Pointing  to  Gibbs.) 

DRUM:  "  Why,  Gibbs,  the  fifer  who  has,  for  over  a 
year,  been  trying  to  frighten  my  wife.'' 

OFFICER:     "  How  so?  " 

DRUM:  ."  Why,  by  dressing  in  ghostly  garb  and  corning 
to  her  bedside  at  night  and  telling  her  he  was  her  dead 
husband  and  advising  her  to  marry  Gibbs." 

OFFICER:     "  So  this  is  how  you  were  working  upon  the 

fears  of  an  unprotected  woman,  eh?     Soldiers,  take  him 

with  you  and,  when  we  get  to  camp,  I  will  pass  sentence 

upon  Mr.  Gibbs.     Right  about,  march!  "          [They  exi/.] 

[Enter  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Meek  and  Barnaby^\ 

BARNABY:     "  Well,  friends,  what  is  the  trouble? " 

MRS.  D.:  u  The  trouble  is  now  at  an  end  and  we  are 
all  happy.  My  husband  has  returned,  alive  and  well, 
and  will  soon  get  a  discharge  from  the  army.  As  for 
Gibbs,  he  will  get  his  just  deserts." 


BLOBSON    S      DIRE      MISHAPS.  77 

[En/er  Bailiff  with  Lord  Go  Away,  alias  DeCharles,  alias  the 
barber ',  and  Lady  DeHousie,  alias  Betty  the  chambermaid  ] 

BARNABY:     "Hello!   What's  all  this?" 

BAILIFF:  "Well,  sir,  this  'ere  man  and  'ooman  lias 
done  and  gone  and  cumitted  bigimy,  and  I  corned  here 
to  get  the  assistance  of  the  willage  to  help  me  to  take 
him  to  jail." 

BARNABY:  "  Bigamy,  eh?  Well,  Mrs.  Meek,  you  now 
see  your  Count  DcCharles,  alias  Lord  Go  Away,  alias  the 
barber,  in  his  true  character;  don't  you?  " 

MRS.  M.:  "  Yes,  I  now  see  what  my  folly  would  have 
led  me  into  were  it  not  for  your  timely  and  generous 
warning.  Oh!  From  what  a  horrible  fate  I  have  been 
saved,  and  I  thank  you  for  it."  (Shakes  his  hand  and 
goes  over  to  her  husband.) 

BAILIFF  (To  Barnaby):  "Well,  sir,  as  I  was  saying, 
this  wagabone  'as  a  wife  hallready,  and  'e  goes  and 
marries  this  'ooman;  and  she  goes  hand  marries  'im; 
hand  they  both  marries  heach  bother;  hand  hi  hasks  all 
your  hassistance  to  'elp  me  take  'em  to  the  lock-hup." 

BARNABY:  "  You  shall  have  it.  Every  man  and  woman 
of  us  will  give  you  our  assistance  and  help  to  see  this 
vagabond  get  his  just  deserts.  So  away  with  them  and 
we  will  follow  to  see  vice  punished  and  virtue  rewarded. 
A  fitting  end  for  the  "  Extremes  of  Married  Life." 

[Cur  fain.'] 

STACY:  "  Now,  then,  ladies  and  gentlemen,  as  the 
rehearsal  is  finished,  if  you  will  sit  down  for  a  few 
moments,  the  treasurer  will  be  here  and  pay  you  your 
salaries." 

At  this  there  was  great  rejoicing.  Even  the  scene- 
painter,  who  was  upon  the  frame,  heard  the  order  and 
worked  the  harder  to  finish  up  a  kitchen  flat.  Blobson, 
who  was  keeping  him  company,  also  heard  the  remark 


78  BLOB  SON'S      DIRE      MISHAPS. 

and  \vas  so  pleased  he  jumped  up  from  a  board  on  which 
the  pots,  filled  with  paints  of  different  colors,  were  resting, 
and  they  landed  on  the  floor.  In  an  instant  all  was 
excitement  on  the  stage, as  nearly  every  one  ot  the  company 
had  retired  to  the  back  to  chat  over  their  salary  and 
other  matters  and  hardly  one  escaped  a  drenching  of  the 
paints  pouring  down  from  the  paint  gallery.  Blobson 
and  the  painter,  who  was  a  bit  of  a  wag,  seeing  and 
knowing  the  result  of  the  disaster,  made  for  the  scuttle 
of  the  theatre  and  entered  one  of  an  adjoining  stable, 
wending  their  way  to  their  boarding  houses. 

The  stage  manager  and  others,  when  they  reached  the 
paint  platform,  found  no  one  present.  The  opinion,  as 
afterwards  given  by  Stacy,  was,  "  The  heat  of  the  stove 
must  have  caused  the  paints  to  expand  in  the  pots  and 
caused  the  explosion.  Really,  my  friends,  it's  a  mercy 
the  whole  theatre  wasn't  blown  up  and  our  bodies  scat 
tered  to  the  four  points  of  the  compass." 


CHAPTER  XII. 


BLOBSON    AND    PROPS    TAKE     A     ROOM    JOINTLY    IN    THE    NEW 
BOARDING  HOUSE — HOW  PROPS  AND  BLOBSON  WOULD  RUN 
A  THEATRE  IF  THEY  WERE  MANAGERS — PROPS*  IDEA  AS 
TO    HOW    REHEARSALS    SHOULD    BE    CONDUCTED — 
EVERYTHING  MUST  BE  REAL THE  REAL  REHEAR 
SAL    BLOBSON   AND    PROPS  HAD    IN  THEIR    NEW 
BOARDING      HOUSE      AND      ITS      DISASTROUS 
ENDING     TO     EVERYBODY     IN     THE     HOUSE 
BUT     MORE     PARTICULARLY     TO     THE 
FURNITURE. 

|MONG  traveling  companies,  it  is  the  custom 
for  single  men  or  those  whose  wives  are  in 
separate  or  other  companies  to  go  in  pairs 
and,  on  reaching  a  town,  to  look  for  a  board 
ing  house  where  two  will  room  together.  This  may  not 
be  the  universal  but  it  is  the  general  custom  and  is  quite 
prevalent.  Blobson  and  Derelict,  the  property  man  or 
Props  as  he  was  called  by  the  company,  always  roomed 
together. 

Props  had  a  soul  above  furnishing  the  necessary  articles 
called  for  on  the  stage;  and  sought  relief,  when  alone,  in 
trying  to  digest  Shakespeare.  "  Macbeth  "  was  his  beau 
ideal,  and  especially  the  dagger  scene  where  "  Macbeth  " 
sees,  in  his  wrought  up  imagination,  the  instrument 
moving  in  mid-air  towards  the  chamber  of  the  king. 


8o  BLOBSON'S    DIRE    MISHAPS. 

"Ah!  Blobson,"  said  he,  while  sitting  in  their  room, 
trying  to  keep  themselves  warm  by  getting  as  near  as 
possible  to  a  dying  fire  in  a  sadly  decayed  sheet  iron 
stove,  "  one  day,  I  will  surprise  you  with  the  innovations 
I  will  make  in  the  rendering  of  '  Macbeth.'  ' 

"  Why,  what  do  you  mean?"  said  Blobson. 

"  Why,  sir,"  said  Props,  "  I  intend,  when  I  come  on,  in 
the  dagger  scene,  the  audience  will  see  the  very  dagger 
that  *  Macbeth  '  speaks  about." 

"  That  would  be  wonderful;  in  fact,  I  have  never  heard 
of  such  an  innovation.  Is  it  your  own  idea?" 

*'  All  mine;  an  1  I  intend  to  have  it  patented.  You  see, 
when  '  Macbeth  '  orders  his  servant  to  retire,  he  locks 
the  door  to  prevent  the  entrance  of  eaves-droppers  and, 
on  turning  around  in  the  direction  of  the  king's  chamber, 
he  sees  the  imaginary  dagger  and  speaks  as  follows — now 
watch  me  and  I'll  show  you  how  it  goes — 

PROPS:  *'  *  Is  this  a  dagger  which  I  see  before  me,  the 
handle  toward  my  hand?  Come,  let  me  clutch  thee!  I 
have  thee  not  and  yet  I  see  thee  still!  Art  thou  not, 
fatal  vision,  sensible  to  feeling  as  to  sight?  Or  art  thou 
but  a.  dagger,  a  false  creation,  proceeding  from  the  heat- 
oppressed  brain?  I  see  thee  yet;  in  form,  as  palpable  as 
this  which  I  now  draw!  Thou  marshallest  me  the  way 
that  I  was  going  and  such  an  instrument  I  was  to  use. 
Mine  eyes  are  made  the  fools  o'  the  other  senses  or  else 
worth  all  the  rest.  I  see  thee  still  and,  on  thy  blade  and 
dudgeon,  gouts  of  blood  which  was  not  before.  There 
is  no  such  thing.  It  is  the  bloody  business  which  in 
forms  thus  to  mine  eyes.' 

"  By  this,  you  will  observe,  nobody  in  the  house  sees 
the  dagger  he  speaks  of,  consequently  the  audience  is 
obliged  to  take  *  Macbeth's  '  word  for  it.  Time  and  again 
I  have  watched  an  audience  through  a  peep-hole  in  the 


BLOBSON'S    DIRE     MISHAPS.  81 

property  room,  when  the  play  was  given  and,  when  '  Mac 
beth  '  speaks  of  the  imaginary  dagger,  I  have  seen  plenty 
of  the  people  in  the  auditorium  look  in  the  direction  'Mac 
beth  '  was  looking  for  the  dagger  spoken  of,  and  the 
impression  on  their  faces  showed  downright  disgust  in 
being  fooled  in  looking  for  something  that  never  existed. 
One  night,  at  a  town  we  stacked  up  at,  '  Macbeth  '  was 
played  and,  when  'Macbeth'  spoke  of  the  imaginary 
dagger,  a  big  country  lout  yelled  out:  'That's  an  old 
chestnut!  I  got  caught  on  that  once  and  you  can't  get 
me  to  look  for  your  old  dagger  again/  The  audience 
commenced  to  roar  and  yell  and  that  ended  the  night's 
performance.  My  method  is,  to  make  a  reality  of  this 
scene." 

"  How  will  you  proceed?  You  must  certainly  speak 
the  same  lines  and,  if  you  do,  you  will  be  subject  to 
being  ridiculed  as  have  others,"  said  Blobson. 

"  I  will  speak  the  same  lines  but  my  dagger  business 
will  be  different.  I  will  have  a  dark  stage,  to  start  with 
a  drummond  light  on  the  fly  gallery;  my  dagger  will  be 
suspended  from  above  the  flies  and  will  be  worked  by 
the  prompter.  When  I  give  the  cue  and  I  clutch  at  it 
it  is  there,  the  light  being  thrown  on  it  from  above. 
The  audience  see  the  dagger,  see  that  I  am  really  jumping 
at  it,  skating  around  after  it  as  it  were;  that  it  is  the  simon 
pure  article;  that  there  is  no  humbug  about  it;  and  I  win 
my  applause  and  any  spare  bouquets  that  the  audience 
may  have.  How  is  that  for  an  original  idea? " 

"  A  brilliant  one,"  said  Blobson,  "  but  when  do  you 
think  you  will  put  it  in  operation'?" 

"  The  very  first  opportunity  I  have  to  play  '  Macbeth.' 
To-morrow,  afier  rehearsal,  you  and  I  will  go  through  a 
scene  or  two  of  the  '  Pirate  Chiefs.' ' 

Mrs.  Church  kept  the  boarding  house  in  which  Blobson 


2  BLOB  SONS      DIRE      MISHAPS. 

and  Props  boarded  and,  on  the  following  morning  at 
breakfast,  she  appeared  quite  agitated  and  often  looked 
towards  that  part  of  the  table  where  Blobson  and  Props 
were  seated. 

After  the  breakfast  hour,  she  was  asked  by  one  of  the 
boarders,  a  Major  Bump,  why  she  appeared  so  excited. 

"Excited?  Oh!  Major/' said  she,  "if  you  only  knew 
all,  you  would  fly  from  this  house!  " 

*•  Good  Heavens,  Madam!  You  surprise  me!  What — 
what  is  it,  eh?" 

"  Read  that  letter,  I  received  last  night."  (Gives  him 
letter.) 

"  MY  DEAR  MRS.  CHURCH: 

Although  a  stranger  to  you  and  a  married  man,  (I  make 
mention  of  my  being  married  so  that  you  will  see  my 
intentions  are  strictly  honorable  and  have  no  designs  upon 
3'ou),  as  I  said  before,  I  am  a  stranger,  yet  I  take  an 
interest  in  your  welfare  and  wish  to  warn  you  of  the 
clanger  you  and  all  your  boarders  are  in  from  robbers 
and  murderers  now  under  your  roof  under  the  assumed 
names  of  Blobson  and  Derelict. 

Yours  in  haste, 

J.  B.  PAWN  SHOP." 

"  Pawn  Shop,  that  is  a  queer  name,  indeed,  but  the 
contents  are  startling  and  I  do  not  wonder  at  your 
excitement.  I  will  go  immediately  and  buy  a  pair  of 
pistols  and  extra  bolts  and  bars  for  my  door.  As  for 
you,  Mrs.  Church,  go  alarm  all  your  boarders.  Tell  them 
to  prepare  themselves  for  the  defense  of  their  property 
and  their  lives  Go,  you,  and  inform  the  police  to  be  in 
readiness;  and,  when  these  marauders  again  enter  the 
house,  we  will  compel  them  to  surrender  or  death  will  be 
their  doom-  no  quarter  will  be  given  nor  asked. 

"  Now,    I    will    away    to    the   gunsmith's.       Go,    Mrs. 


BLOBSON'S    DIRE    MISHAPS.  83 

Church,  at  once,  and  tell  your  boarders  to  do  likewise." 
(And  out  of  the  house  the  major  went  as  fast  as  his  legs 
would  carry  him,  while  Mrs.  Church  rushed  frantically 
to  alarm  the  police.) 

The  return  of  Blobson  and  Props  to  their  boarding 
house  in  time  for  lunch  had  to  be  postponed  by  these 
two  worthies  owing  to  a  long  drawn  out  rehearsal  which 
lasted  till  2  p.  M.;  and,  as  they  were  aware  of  Mrs.  Church's 
peremptory  orders  that  no  meals  would  be  served  after 
regular  dining  hours,  they  stopped  in  at  a  restaurant  and 
partook  of  a  slight  repast,  after  which,  they  strolled 
leisurely  to  Mrs.  Church's.  Arriving  there,  they  inad. 
vertently  went  through  the  side  gate,  instead  of  (as  was 
their  usual  custom)  through  the  front  hallway,  and  so 
gained  their  room  on  the  top  floor  unobserved  by  the  in 
mates  of  the  house,  little  thinking  that  nearly  every 
boarder  was  in  the  dining-room  with  loaded  pistols  and 
the  hall  filled  with  officers  of  the  law  to  capture  them. 

"  Well,  Blobson,"  said  Props,  after  entering  their  room 
and  securing  the  door  with  lock  and  bolt,  "  I  propose  we 
go  through  a  rehearsal  of  the  play  I  am  to  present  on 
the  night  of  my  benefit,  'The  Pirate  Chiefs.'" 

"  Have  you  the  combat  swords  we  are  to  fence  with?" 
said  Blobson. 

"  Everything  is  here,  in  this  room;  even  to  the  costumes 
we  wear;  and,  if  you  are  agreeable,  we  will  off  with  our 
street  attire  and  don  our  stage  costumes,"  said  Props. 

"  I  am  agreed  and,  between  you  and  I,  Props,  I  am 
satisfied  one  gets  a  more  perfect  conception  of  a  character 
when  the  costume  is  worn  at  a  rehearsal,  than  without 
it.  The  idea  of  an  actor,  cast  for  a  Roman  soldier, 
'  Othello'  or '  Hamlet,'  'King  Lear'  or  'Romeo/  rehearsing 
in  modern  street  costume  is  too  absurd  to  even  talk 
about. 


84  BLOBSON'S    DIRE    MISHAPS. 

"  Props,  when  I  become  manager  of  a  theatre,  I  will 
change  all  of  this.  If  *  Othello  '  is  to  be  played,  he  must 
dress  the  part  at  the  rehearsal,  even  to  coloring  his  face 
with  burnt  cork.  Every  cne  in  the  cast  must  be  properly 
costumed  even  to  the  supers.  In  the  orchestra,  not  even 
the  bass  drum  would  be  omitted;  and  I  think  I  would 
have  the  ushers  in  front,  placing  imaginary  people  in 
their  seats,  while  the  ticket-takers  would  be  receiving 
imaginary  tickets  sold  by  the  box  office  keeper.  The 
curtain,  I  would  have  go  up  at  the  commencement  of 
every  act  and  fall  when  it  ended.  The  scenes  would  be 
run  on  and  off  at  the  proper  time,  and  every  property 
used  in  the  piece  should  be  in  readiness  for  each  one  in 
the  piece.  I  would  even  go  so  far  as  to  have  the  night 
doorkeeper  at  his  post  at  the  back  door  and,  on  no  account, 
permit  him  to  let  any  person  in  to  see  me  or  any  of  my 
company  during  rehearsal.  The  same  stringent  order,  I 
would  strongly  impress  upon  the  box-keeper  in  the  front 
of  the  house.  As  to  my  company,  I  would  not  permit 
them  to  address  me  during  rehearsal  nor  at  any  other 
time  unless  I  so  desired  it.  Familiarity,  you  know, 
breeds  familiarity — don't  you  know!  Ah!  well,  it  is 
useless  for  me  to  dwell  on  the  future;  so  let  us,  as  we  are 
now  fully  costumed,  commence  our  rehearsal.  Where 
are  the  short  swords?  " 

"  Here  they  are,"  said  Props  as  he  brought  two  from 
the  depths  of  an  old  trunk  or,  more  properly  speaking,  a 
champagne  basket. 

"  Do  we  carry  swords  through  the  first  act? "  said 
Blobson. 

"  Why,  of  course.  We  are  two  pirate  chieftains,  op 
posed  to  each  other;  and,  when  we  first  meet,  we  rush  at 
each  other  with  our  swords  drawn  and  have  a  terrific 
combat  which  is  continued  till  we  both  fall  exhausted. 


Mr    G    V    BROOKE     as    OTHELLO. 


BLOBSON'S    DIRE    MISHAPS  85 

After  we  recover,  we  look  at  each  other  for  a  moment  and 
then  advance  again  but,  instead  of  resuming  the  strife, 
we  shake  hands  and  swear  to  become  friends.  We  then 
plan  the  murder  and  robbery  of  all  who  oppose  us.  In 
a  word,  we  drink,  eat  and  swim  in  gore.  Now,  then,  you 
go  into  the  closet  where  we  keep  our  weekly  wash.  We 
will  consider  that  the  right  first  entrance;  and  I  will  come 
from  behind  the  bureau  as  if  from  the  left  first  entrance. 
The  back  of  the  room,  we  will  suppose,  to  be  a  dense 
wood  with  a  night  view  of  the  sea  and,  in  the  distance, 
a  ship  on  a  west-sou-west  tack." 

"  How  about  having  the  moon,  reflecting  its  light  and 
partly  obscured  by  a  cloud,  just  passing  in  front  of  it?" 
said  Blobson. 

"  Elegant  suggestion.  Let  me  see  what  will  answer 
for  the  moon.  Oh!  I  have  it!  "  said  Props.  "  There  is 
the  stove-pipe  hole;  how  will  that  do?  '* 

"That's  not  so  bad;  but  we  ought  to  have  the 
shore  covered  with  rocks  and  a  sort  of  lookout,  to  be  able 
to  see  passing  vessels,"  suggested  Blobson. 

"  I'll  soon  remedy  that.  We  will  imagine  the  chairs  to 
be  rocks,  and  the  bedstead  a  lookout.  Under  the  bed 
stead,  we  will  shove  your  trunk,  representing  a  keg  of 
powder,  and,  when  the  proper  signal  is  given,  we  will, 
with  our  men,  be  on  the  lookout.  Our  captors,  that  is,  one 
of  them,  will  steal  in  under  where  we  stand,  touch  a  match 
to  the  barrel  of  gunpowder,  and  we  will  be  blown  to 
Davy  Jones'  locker.  Now,  let  us  move  the  bed  over 
against  the  door  and  that  will  be  the  lookout,"  said 
Props.. 

"  We  can't  move  it,  it  is  too  heavy,  unless  we  take  it  to 
pieces/'  said  Blobson. 

"  On,  we  can  easily  do  that.     Here  is  the  bed-screw." 

In  a  few  moments,  the  bed  was  in  readiness  and  was 


'86  BLOBSON'S    DIRE    MISHAPS. 

moved  and  placed  against  the  door;  but  their  haste  was 
so  great  they  omitted  to  refasten  the  screws  properly  in 
the  bedstead,  and  it  was  only  held  in  position  by 
supporting  itself  against  the  door  which,  if  suddenly 
opened,  would  tumble  it  in  upon  the  occupants.  Giving 
this  no  further  thought,  the  rehearsal  commenced.  In 
the  meantime,  one  of  the  boarders  overheard  an  unusual 
noise  upstairs  as  of  moving  furniture  and  apprised  Mrs. 
Church,  who  summoned  all  hands  to  follow  her  to  the 
room  occupied  by  Blobson  and  Props.  The  landlady 
led  the  way  followed  by  the  police  and,  by  the  time  the 
rehearsal  commenced,  the  hallway  leading  to  their  door 
was  pretty  well  crowded. 

The  major  brought  up  the  rear  guard  with  a  very  aged 
and  dilapidated  step-ladder,  actually  held  together  by 
short  pieces  of  string.  Under  his  left  arm,  he  carried  a 
fire-shovel  and  tongs,  and  in  his  right  hand  coat- pocket, 
were  two  of  the  old  style  of  flint-lock  pistols.  In  answer 
to  a  question  by  one  of  the  boarders  who  had  a  clothes- 
pounder  to  be  used,  he  said,  "  To  batter  in  the  door  if 
necessary,"  the  major  replied: 

"  I  am  here,  sir,  to  protect  the  interests  of  this  entire 
household.  I  have  brought,  as  you  may  observe,''  he 
continued,  "  my  step  ladder.  It  will  serve  me,  when  I 
have  ascended  it,  to  look  over  the  field  of  battle  and  view 
the  position  of  the  enemy  we  are  about  to  capture.  I. 
myself,  sir,  will  lead  and  leave  others  to  follow  me." 

At  this  juncture,  Blobson  and  Props  were  heard  from 
within. 

BLOBSON  (within,  and  to  Props):  "  Ac-ac-cur-sed  vil 
lain!  Do  I  look  upon  you  again?" 

PROPS  (Within  room):  "For  years,  I  have  sought 
thee  on  sea  and  land,  and  now  you  shall  die  the  death  of 
one  or  more  dogs." 


DIRE      MISHAPS.  87 

BLOBSON:     "'Tiswell!  Come  on!  " 

They  cross  swords.  They  commence  thecombat;  three 
up  and  two  down,  then  head  blows;  they  cross  and  strike. 
Props  falls  on  one  knee,  defends  himself,  then  rises, 
strikes  down  Blobson  who  crawls  around  after  Props, 
both  still  fighting  with  swords,  while  the  boarders  in  the 
hall  are  nearly  wild  with  the  clashing  of  swords,  and  the 
words:  "  Fiend,  monster,  pirate  and  murder,"  float  out 
through  the  keyhole  occasionally. 

The  major  is  urged  by  the  boarders  to  mount  his 
outlook  (the  aged  step-ladder)  and,  from  the  transom 
overhead,  order  them  to  surrender  to  the  law.  But  he 
declines  on  the  ground  that  it  is  too  early  in  the  battle  to 
interfere. 

"  Let  them  go  on  and,  by  the  time  they  have  killed  a 
dozen  or  more,  inside,  we  can  easily  rush  in,  capture  the 
rest —  I  hear  their  voices!  Listen!'' 

BLOBSON  (Within):  "  Ah!  I  see  my  comrades  coming 
this  way.  Now,  then,  dastardly  villain,  your  hour  lias 
come!  Prepare  to  meet  the  cowardly  death  you  so  richly 
deserve!" 

MAJOR  (Outside,  in  hallway):  <4  Now,  then,  will  come 
the  death  struggle  and  we  will  easily  capture  them. 
Now,  then,  to  ascend  my  lookout  and  review  the  battle." 
(Goes  up  the  step-ladder  and  peeps  diagonally  through 
the  transom  window,  keeping  his  head  out  of  range  of 
any  flying  bullets  that  might  come  his  way.) 

The  police  have,  by  this  time,  brought  up  an  iron 
crowbar  to  force  the  door  at  the  request  of  the  landlady 
who  is  in  a  terrible  state  of  excitement. 

Blobson  (in  room)  has  by  this  time  leaped  on  the 
bureau,  flourishing  his  sword,  while  Props  makes  a  flying 
leap  on  the  bed  which,  as  stated  before,  was  only  sup- 


88  BLOBSONS      DIRE      MISHAPS. 

ported  by  being  placed  against  the  door,  requiring  only 
a  slight  jnr  to  precipitate  it  to  the  floor. 

Props  and  BSobson  throw  away  their  swords,  draw  out 
six-shooters,  having  only  blank  cartridges  in  them,  and 
commence  to  fire  at  each  other.  The  first  fire  so  surprised 
the  major,  and,  believing  himself  hit  in  a  vital  spot,  he 
went  tumbling  off  the  ladder  which  was  split  into  kindling 
wood.  The  police  made  a  rush  at  the  door  with  the 
crowbar,  driving  it  in,  precipitating  the  bedstead  and 
knocking  over  the  bureau,  burying  Blobson,  Props  and 
the  police  under  the  debris  and  putting  to  flight  every 
boarder  in  the  house. 

Blobson  and  Props  having  crawled  from  underneath 
the  fractured  furniture  and,  believing  an  earthquake 
struck  the  house,  ran  out  of  it  for  their  lives.  Up  the 
street  they  flew,  with  their  stage  clothes  on  and  a  hooting, 
yelling  crowd  after  them.  Coming  to  a  narrow  alleyway, 
they  found  a  fence  gate-open  and  dodged  in  and  remained 
till  darkness  covered  them  from  the  eyes  of  all  observers. 
When  the  lamps  were  lit  in  the  streets,  they  wandered 
towards  the  theatre,  got  through  the  night's  performance 
and  left  the  town  with  the  company  before  daylight. 
That  there  was  an  earthquake  and  every  one  in  their 
late  boarding  house  was  killed  on  that  eventful  day, 
they  still  believe. 


CHAPTER  XIII. 


THE  COMPANY  LEAVE  NEW  LONDON    FOR  NEW  YORK    BY  THE 
STEAMER  WORCESTER — ANDERSON,  THE  VENTRILOQUIST, 
KEEPS     EVERYBODY     IN    HOT    AND,    IN    FACT,     COLD 
WATER — THE    CAPTAIN,   THE    PILOTS,   THE  EN 
GINEERS  HAD  WHAT  MIGHT  BE  TERMED  A 
CIRCUS     ALL     NIGHT — ALL'S     WELL 
THAT    ENDS    WELL. 

|DVANCE  Agent  Flick  succeeded  in  bringing 
them  safely  by  rail  to  the  City  of  New  Lon 
don,  just  as  the  sun  was  spreading  its  warm 
and  cheerful  rays  over  the  waters  of  the 
Thames  river.  After  arriving  at  the  depot,  the  company 
followed  agent  Flick  to  the  hotel,  where  an  elegant  and 
soul-comforting  breakfast  was  hastily  disposed  of  by  a 
crowd  of  very  hungry  mortals.  As  Flick  had  only  ar 
ranged  for  a  one-night  stand  at  this  town,  no  rehearsal 
was  necessary.  "Macbeth"  was  the  play  of  the  eve 
ning,  but  Blobson  was  not  cast  for  the  part  of  Seyton, 
as  the  management  had  some  doubts  of  an  impending 
disaster  if  Blobson  appeared  in  the  cast.  When  the 
doors  opened  Flick  was  on  hand  to  see  that  matters  in 
the  front  of  the  house  were  fully  looked  after. 

The   house   was   well   filled   on   the  night  in  question, 
and  the  performance  proved  a  satisfactory  one. 

The   Steamer    Worcester,  of   the    Norwich    Line,   with 
Captain   Ward   in   command,  assisted  by  Chief  Steward 


90  BLOBSON'S    DIRE    MISHAPS. 

Murphy,  made  the  company  welcome  when  they  arrived 
on  board,  which  was  after  n  p.  M.  The  sieward,  by 
order  of  the  captain,  provided  the  company  with  a  sup 
per  that  could  not  be  duplicated  in  many  of  the  leading 
hotels,  and  they  showed  their  appreciation  of  the  re 
past  by  doing  the  greatest  degree  of  justice  to  it.  By 
the  time  they  had  finished  the  midnight  meal,  12  p.  M.,  the 
steamer's  lines  were  cast  off  and  she  moved  down  the 
Thames  on  the  way  to  New  York 

Every  room  on  the  boat  had  been  engaged  in  advance, 
and  had  it  not  been  for  Captain  George  W.  Brady,  the 
general  agent  of  the  line,  who  was  on  board,  they  would 
have  been  obliged  to  sit  up  till  they  reached  New  York. 
Flip  discovered  this  gentleman  among  the  crowd,  intro 
duced  himself,  stated  his  position  with  the  company, 
and  the  necessity  for  securing  sleeping  accommodation 
for  the  ladies,  if  not  the  gentlemen.  Anything  would 
be  better  than  chairs. 

"  Your  name  is  Flick,  the  agent  of  this  company,"  said 
Captain  Brady. 

'•  Correct,  sir;  and  you  see  before  you  a  man  who  has 
traveled  and  handled  more  show  people  than  all  the 
managers  in  the  United  States.  I  once,  sir,  run  a  tribe 
of  Indians."  Flick  was  about  to  work  off  on  the  captain 
his  old  Indian  story  of  500  miners,  trebling,  making  1500. 
But  .Captain  Brady  knew  the  old  story  backward,  and 
cut  Flick  short  by  saying,  "Yes,  I  understand  it;  heard  it 
when  I  was  a  boy.  Relative  to  sleeping  accommoda 
tions,  I  will  provide  you  with  temporary  beds  on  the 
floor  similar  to  what  has  been  done  for  the  ladies  and 
gentlemen  already  occupying  the  forward  part  of  the 
cabin.  The  beds  and  bedding  have  never  been  used  as 
they  were  made  for  the  rooms  and  will  take  the  places 
of  those  now  in  use  in  a  very  short  time." 


DIRE      MISHAPS.  91 

The  steward  was  called,  and  in  a  half  hour  the  whole 
company  were  in  bed  and  asleep,  except  Anderson,  who 
was  not  so  inclined,  but  felt  like  having  a  little  fun. 

Captain  Ward  and  nearly  all  the  passengers  had 
turned  in  for  the  night.  Anderson  strolled  out  on  the 
lower  deck,  and,  on  looking  about,  discovered  a  brass  pipe 
or  speaking  tube  leading  from  this  deck  upwards,  but 
where  it  terminated  he  did  not  know.  An  idea  suddenly 
occurred  to  him  to  investigate,  as  to  whether  it  ran  into 
the  bowels  of  the  boat  or  the  heavens  above.  Going  up 
to  it  he  yelled  out  in  a  close  imitation  of  Captain  Ward's 
voice,  "  What's  the  hour?" 

"  One  P.  M.,  sir,"  was  the  answer  returned. 

ANDERSON:     "  Who  are  you?  " 

"I  am  Billy  Plimpton,  taking  my  trick  at  the  wheel 
with  my  mate,  Bob  Skettles,  sir." 

"  So  I  have  struck  the  pilot  house,  eh,"  said  Anderson 
to  himself.  "  Well,  here  goes.  I  say,  Billy,  you  are  go 
ing  too  fast,  slow  her  up." 

"  Slow  her  up.  Aye,  aye,  sir.  I  say,  Bob,  ring  that 
engineer's  bell.  I  think  myself  she  is  going  pretty 
speedy. 

"  Billy,  the  commodore  has  got  his  weather  eye  on 
us  to-night,"  said  Bob. 

ANDERSON  (Up  pipe):  "  How's  that  starboard  light? 
Look  lively  now,  do  you  hear?  "  (To  pilots.) 

"  Aye,  aye,  sir,"  said  Billy.  "  My  eye  but  the  com 
modore  is  lively  to-night." 

"  Bob,  go  out  and  see  how  the  light  is." 

ANDERSON  (Up  pipe):  "  Haul  her  more  to  port." 

<4  Port  it  is,  sir,"  said  Billy. 

ANDERSON  (At  pipe):  "If  you  keep  her  going  at  this 
jog  trot  every  old  sloop  will  give  us  her  heels.  Wake 

up  the  engineer." 
7 


92  BLOBSON    S     DIRE      MISHAPS. 

BILLY:  u  Aye,  aye,  sir."  (Bell  pulls  for  engineer  to 
give  her  more  steam.) 

Sturdy  engineer  Joe  in  the  engine  room:  "I  wonder 
what  in  thunder  is  the  matter  with  those  pilots  to-night. 
They  must  be  enjoying  themselves  over  a  bottle.  (Bell 
rings  to  slow  her  up.)  We1!,  I  hope  I  may  be —  Well  I 
won't  swear,  but  if  those  pilots  ain't  drunk  (Slows  down 
engine)  I  am  off  my  base.  (Bell  rings  to  increase  speed). 
Well,  well,  did  any  body  ever  see  pilots  acting  in  such  a 
manner?  Here  I  am  stopping  and  starting,  speeding 
and  slowing  her  till  I'm  nearly  tired  out." 

ANDERSON  (Up  pipe):  "  Swing  her  more  to  starboard." 

"  Starboard  she  is,  sir.  I  say,  Bob,  what  in is  the 

matter  with  the  commodore,  to-night?" 

ANDERSON  (At  the  pipe):  "  Pilot,  order  the  mate  to 
heave  the  lead  and  see  where  we  are." 

BILLY  (Speaking  down  pipe):  "  Aye,  aye,  sir.  I  say, 
Bob,  what'll  we  do?  The  mate  turned  in  two  hours  ago, 
and  neither  of  us  can  leave  here  for  that  purpose;  we 
would  lose  our  license  if  it  was  found  out." 

"Why,  sing  down  the  pipe  to  the  engineer,"  said  Bob. 

''All  right.  (Billy  sings  down  the  pipe):  I  say,  Joe, 
the  commodore  wants  you  to  wake  up  the  mate,  to 
throw  the  lead." 

"  Oh,  to —  Well,  well,  here's  a  nice  business  for  a 
chief  engineer  on  a  Sound  Line.  Wants  me  to  be  a 
rouse-em-out.  Well, I  knew  engineering  was  never  thought 
much  of,  but  when  a  captain  goes  so  far  as  to  place  'em 
on  the  list  of  rouse-em-outs,  I  think,  Joe,  it's  about  time  for 
you  to  quit  the  business  and  hire  out  as  a  deck  hand.  I 
wouldn't  be  surprised  the  next  order  he  will  give  me  will 
be  to  go  and  lower  the  anchor  over  the  side  of  the  boat — " 

PILOT  (Down  pipe):  "Back  her,  Joe!  Look  lively! 
It's  captain's  orders." 


93 

"  Oh,  hang  the  captain!  I  guess  he  is  as  full  as  the 
pilots." 

And  with  an  action  savage  enough  to  throw  the  whole 
engine  out  of  gear  for  a  month,  he  shut  off  steam  and 
reversed  it  so  quickly  several  of  the  passengers  at  the 
bar  were  thrown  on  top  of  each  other,  while  the  bar 
keeper  leaped  over  the  bar  and  fled  upstairs,  expecting 
the  boat  had  come  in  collision  with  another  craft. 

ANDERSON  (Up  pipe  to  pilots):  ''Are  you  fellows 
drunk  up  there,  or  is  it  the  engineer?  Ask  him,  is  he 
drunk  or  sober." 

BILLY  (Sings  down  engineer's  pipe):  "The  commodore 
wants  to  know,  '  Are  you  drunk? ' ' 

JOE  (Up  pipe):  "If  I  was  up  in  that  pilot  house,  I'd 
answer  that  question  by  pounding  you  two  lubbers  finer 
'en  coal  and  ashes.  Wait  till  we  get  to  the  dock.  I'll 
teach  you  what  it  costs  to  say  I'm  drunk." 

The  shock  which  many  of  the  passengers  felt  by  the 
sudden  stoppage  of  the  boat  woke  up  the  captain  who 
hurried  up  into  the  pilot  house  to  find  out  the  cause. 
The  dawn  was  just  breaking  and  everything  in  the  pilot 
house  appeared  to  the  captain  to  be  in  perfect  order. 
Bill  and  Bob  were  looking  out  the  port  window,  wonder 
ing  why  the  captain  kept  the  boat  at  a  standstill,  when 
they  were  startled  by  his  old  familiar  voice,  not  through 
the  pipe  but  in  the  wheel-house. 

"  Why,  boys,  what  are  you  keeping  the  boat  here  for? " 

"  Why,  captain,  you  gave  orders,  a  few  minutes  ago,  to 
stop  and  back  her.  That's  all  we  know  about  it,"  said 
Bill. 

"  I  gave  you  such  an  order?  Why,  man,  I  was  sound 
asleep  in  my  room  till  I  was  nearly  knocked  out  of  it  by 
the  shock  the  boat  got  a  few  moments  ago!  "  said  the 
captain. 


94  BLOBS  ON 'S      DIRE      MISHAPS. 

"  Asleep,"  said  Bill,  "  and  you  wasn't  giving  us  orders 
through  the  pipe  all  night?" 

"  Certainly  not,  as  Captain  Brady,  who  occupied  the 
room  with  me,  will  testify  if  necessary.  But  ring  the 
engineer's  bell  so  that  we  can  be  making  headway  while 
we  are  coming  to  some  understanding."  (The  bell  is 
rung  and  the  boat  starts  ) 

JOE  (In  engine-room):  "  There  goes  that bell 

again.  Well,  I'll  just  start  her  up  once  more  but  she  will 
never  stop  till  I  get  her  in  New  York;  not  if  they  pull 
that  bell  till  doomsday,  captain's  orders  or  no  captain's 
orders.  I'll  show  those  funny  pilots,  up  stairs,  they 
cannot  steer  me  even  if  they  do  the  boat." 

"  Then  you  are  really  serious  that  it  was  I  speaking 
to  you  through  the  pipe? "  said  the  captain. 

"  Yes,  sir,  and  so  is  Bob.  Your  voice  sounded  just  as 
natural  as  it  does  now." 

"  Well,  well,  I  must  see  about  this." 

The  boat  had  already  rounded  the  battery  when  Captain 
Brady  ca'me  over  to  where  Captain  Ward  was  standing 
and  introduced  him  to  Mr.  Anderson  as  one  of  the 
members  of  the  dramatic  company.  Explanations  were 
in  order.  Captain  Brady  let  the  cat  out  of  the  bag  by 
saying  Anderson  admitted  it  was  he  who  personated  the 
captain  through  the  speaking  tube  and  mixed  up  the 
crew.  As  no  damage  was  done,  the  captain  took  it  as  a 
good  joke  and  said  he  would  explain  it  to  his  men. 


J.  Lester  Wallack  as  the  Prince  of  Wales, 
in  King  Henry  the  IV 


CHAPTER  XIV. 


THE  COMPANY  VISIT  THE  HAMBURG  STEAMER    TO  SEE  A  CEL 
EBRATED    AMATEUR  OFF — BLOBSON's   UNFORTUNATE    AND 

DIRE  MISHAPS  ON  COMING  DOWN  THE  GANG-PLANK HE 

GOES    OVERBOARD    CARRYING    WITH    HIM    THE     LAUN 
DRY    MAN   AND    THE  SHIP'S  LAUNDRY — A  GENERAL 
MIX  OF  MEN,  SEA-WATER  AND  THE  WEEK'S  WASH 
ING — BRIM'SSTORY  OF  HIS  EARLY  THEATRICAL 

BARNSTORMIiNG — THE  COMPANY  STARTS    ON 
THE  ROAD  AGAIN A  BIG  TRICK  ON  LILLY 

LANGTRY'S   COMPANY — OFF    FOR 
PLUNKTOWN. 

had  been  arranged  by  the  manager  of  the 
company  when  it  landed  in  New  York  to  see 
Miss  Eldorado  DeDelascour  on  board  of  one 
of  the  Hamburg-American  Packet  Com 
pany's  elegant  steamers  before  she  sailed  for  Europe. 
Every  member  of  Bluffington's  company  was  on  hand  to 
do  honor  to  the  lady's  departure.  Miss  DeDelascour 
was  not  by  any  means  what  might  be  termed  a  beauty, 
nor  a  giddy  young  chicken,  but  she  had  a  fetching  way 
about  her,  and  a  private  fortune  to  support  her,  even  if 
the  stage  would  not.  Never  having  appeared  on  the 
regular  boards  only  on  benefit  nights,  in  a  scene  from 
"Hamlet,"  "Fazio,"  "Macbeth,"  or  "Romeo  and  Jul 
iet,"  she  had  slight  claims  to  the  title  of  actress. 

Bluffington  was  her  debtor  for  various  sums,  and  to 


96  BLOBSON'S    DIRE   MISHAPS. 

show  his  appreciation  of  her  great  genius  (as  he  put  it) 
was  the  supposed  cause  of  his  having  his  company  go 
and  see  her  off. 

When  Bluffington  got  on  board  he  rushed  into  one  of 
the  gorgeous  saloons  where  he  found  her  ladyship  hold 
ing  court  before  a  large  number  of  butterfly  admirers. 

Every  member,  even  to  Blobson,  Anderson,  Props  and 
Smiggs,  were  there  to  do  her  honor,  and  wish  her  bon 
voyjge.  Of  course,  this  was  more  than  gratifying  to 
her,  and  she  made  the  most  of  it,  and  looked  upon  the 
other  lady  passengers  with  the  contempt  she  felt  for  her 
sex,  and  especially  those  who  were  not  included  in  the 
circle  of  the  400.  Bluffington.,  it  was  noticed,  kept  very 
close  to  her  ladyship,  and  before  he  left  her  she  was  ob 
served  to  place  in  his  hands  quite  a  roll  of  money,  all  of 
which  he  accepted  with  a  grateful  bow,  and  then  retired. 
This  was  the  cue  for  the  rest  of  the  company  to  do  like 
wise.  Blobson  led  off  by  stepping  from  the  ship  to  the 
gang-plank  in  a  sort  of  hop-skip-and-jump  style,  and 
before  he  could  check  the  speed  at  which  he  flew  down 
the  gangway  he  came  full  tilt  against  two  waiters  who 
were  coming  up  with  bundles  of  laundry  work  on  their 
heads,  and  the  concussion  being  so  great  that  bundles, 
waiters  and  Blobson  were  thrown  over  the  man-ropes 
into  the  river.  In  a  moment  all  was  excitement;  cooks, 
sailors  and  waiters  were  seen  throwing  over  buckets  and 
nearly  everything  that  they  could  lay  their  hands  on  to 
save  the  unfortunates  in  the  water.  The  waiters  were 
soon  pulled  on  board,  but  it  seemed  as  if  Blobson 
had  made  up  his  mind  to  drown.  Every  effort  to  save 
him  was  unavailing,  until  Smiggs  seized  a  long  spike 
pole  and  thrust  the  hook  into  the  broadest  part  of  Blob- 
son's  pants;  the  spike  in  the  pole  held  him.  Blobson 
made  frantic  efforts  to  ignore  the  presence  or  assistance 


97 

his  friends  were  rendering  him,  and  clung  tenaciously 
to  the  water.  Against  his  will  he  was  drawn  in  shore, 
and  after  working  and  pumping  three  or  four  gallons  of 
water  from  his  stomach  he  was  induced  to  go  behind 
some  cotton  bales  and  dress  in  a  dry  suit  of  clothes  the 
agents  of  the  line  purchased  for  him,  after  which  the 
ship  started  on  her  outward  trip. 

Bluffington's  company  having  to  stay  in  New  York 
a  few  days  owing  to  their  opening  in  another  town  being 
postponed,  Flick  was  advised  to  seek  a  boarding  house 
where  the  whole  company  might  be  accommodated. 
This  he  did  and  it  is  here  we  find  them  at  the  opening  of 
this  chapter.  A  half  dozen  or  more  were  seated  around 
a  comfortable  fire  in  Sammy  Brim's  room,  smoking  and 
chatting  away  on  matters  theatrical. 

'•  Boys,"  said  Brim,  after  lighting  his  pipe  afresh,  "  this 
trip,  to  me,  so  far,  has  been  an  enjoyable  one  and  better  a 
thousand  times  than  we  could  dream  of  twenty  or  twenty-, 
five  years  ago.  If  I  were  to  give  you  a  few  of  my 
experiences,  I  would,  I  am  sure,  leave  you  much  cause 
for  reflection." 

"  Come,  Sammy,  give  us  the  story,"  said  Flick.  "  We 
have  nothing  to  do  for  several  hours.  We  are  warm  and 
comfortable  here  and  it  is  rainy  and  cold  outside,  and  a 
story  is  what  we  want." 

Sammy,  being  prevailed  upon  by  all  present  to  give 
his  early  barnstorming  experiences,  he  submitted. 

u  Well,  boys,  at  the  commencement  of  my  story,  I  was 
doing  respectable  business  and  would  occasionally  do 
dialect  bits.  Arriving  in  New  York  after  a  disastrous 
two-months'  season,  I  applied  at  a  dramatic  agent's  office 
which  was  on  the  third  floor  of  a  building  on  Broadway, 
corner  of  Broome,  directly  opposite  what  was  then  known 


98  BLOBSOX'S      DIRE      MISHAPS. 

as  Wallack's  Theater,  afterwards  the  Broadway  Theatre, 
but  first  known  as  Brougham's  Lyceum/'' 

"  That,  I  presume,  was  the  only  place  of  amusement  in 
New  York,''  said  Blobson. 

"  Oh,  no;  there  were  several  others  but  I  speak  only  of 
this  one  to  better  locate  the  spot.  There  was  no  Rialto, 
no  Daly's,  no  Broadway,  Casino,  Palmer's,  Lyceum,  Bijou, 
Fifth  Avenue,  Standard  or  many  others  I  could  men 
tion.  Well,  up  stairs  I  climbed  and,  after  poking  around 
in  the  darkness,  I- found  the  door  and  entered.  There 
I  discovered  the  room  devoted  to  professionals  pretty 
well  filled  with  people  representing  every  phase  of 
tragedy,  comedy  or  farce. 

''When  an  opportunity  presented  itself,  I  slipped 
through  the  crowd  of  people  into  the  rear  room  where 
the  agent  was  engaged  discussing  a  ham  sandwich  and 
reading  an  old  play-bill  at  the  same  time.  At  my  entrance, 
he  laid  down  his  unfinished  sandwich  and  playbill  and 
inquired  the  nature  of  my  visit.  When  I  gave  him  the 
information  he  required,  his  first  question  was,  how  long 
had  I  been  in  the  business.  I  informed  him. 

"  *  Do  you  think  you  could  handle  the  juvenile  business 
at  a  first-class  theatre,  that  is,  if  you  were  called  upon? ' 

"  My  dependent  position  at  the  time,  not  having  above 
five  dollars  in  my  possession,  compelled  me  to  assure 
him,  if  called  upon,  I  would  go  on  as  '  Romeo.' 

"  That  settled  the  matter.  I  paid  the  three  dollars 
booking  fee,  which  left  me  but  two  dollars.  In  addition 
to  the  booking  fee,  I  was  obliged,  by  his  contract,  to 
permit  the  manager  of  the  company  to  retain,  for  the 
dramatic  agent's  services,  one-third  of  my  first  week's 
salary,  to  all  of  which  I  humbly  submitted.  I  could  not 
do  otherwise.  The  thought  of  an  engagement  in  a  first- 
class  theatre  for  at  least  six  months  gave  me  strong 


BLOBSON'S    DIRE    MISHAPS. 


99 


encouragement;   and    I    left   that    agent's    office    a  very 
happy  man. 

"The  company  I  was  engaged  to  play  with  was  then 
in  Cohoes,  New  York  State.  The  fare  to  Troy  by  boat 
was  fifty  cents  and  by  stage  to  my  destination  twelve 
and  one-half  cents  more,  a  total  of  sixty-two  and  one- 
half  cents.  I  arrived  at  the  town  the  next  day  and  went 
in  search  of  the  fine  theatre  I  was  to  play  in.  I  saw 
play  bills  on  the  fences  descriptive  of  the  performance, 
but  could  not  learn  from  them  what  street  the  theatre 
was  in.  The  town  being  a  small  one,  I  thought  I  could 
easily  discover  it  without  the  necessity  of  making  an 
inquiry  of  the  first  person  I  met.  In  this,  however,  I 
was  mistaken  for,  after  walking  through  every  probable 
locality,  I  could  find  nothing  at  all  resembling  the  object 
of  my  search.  I  was  compelled  at  last  to  seek  some 
.assistance  to  locate  this  first-class  theatre,  as  spoken  of 
by  my  dramatic  agent  in  New  York. 

"  Seeing  a  tumble-down  structure  and  a  seedy  indi 
vidual  sitting  in  front  of  it,  I  made  bold  to  ask  him  if 
he  could  inform  me  of  the  location  of  the  theatre.  '  Why, 
yes,  sir,'  he  said.  '  Probably  you  are  one  of  the  new 
members?'  *  I  am,  said  I.'  *  Possibly  you  are  the 
new  juvenile  man?'  *  Quite  right,  sir.'  '  Then  follow 
me  and  I'll  take  you  in  to  the  manager/  I  did  follow 
him  through  a  dark,  ill-smelling  passageway,  supposing, 
it  to  be  the  rear  entrance  to  the  next  street.  Such  was 
not  the  case,  however,  as  a  door  was  opened  and  into  a 
theatre  I  found  myself.  Not  having  eaten  any  breakfast, 
the  foul  and  damp  smells  nearly  made  me  faint.  I  was 
introduced  by  my  seedy  friend  to  the  manager,  who 
came  from  some  side  room  to  meet  me.  *  This,  I  believe, 
is  Mr.  Brim,  our  new  juvenile  man/  I  answered  him 
mechanically  that  I  was  the  person.  After  questioning 


100  BLOBSON    S     DIRE      MISHAPS. 

me  for  some  time  he  said  that  he  would  require  me  to 
play  Thames  Darreli  in  '  Jack  Sheppard,'  the  next  night. 
I  took  the  part  with  me,  and  once  outside  the  barn  I 
coucluded  I  had  been  sold  again  and  would  only  take 
up  temporary  lodgings,  and  wait  the  first  opportunity 
when  I  might  better  myself.  On  the  following  night 
the  play  of  'Jack  Sheppard'  was  presented  to  a  house 
filled  with  what  might  be  easily  termed  howling  wolves 
from  the  noise  they  made.  Our  orchestra  consisted  of 
three  performers,  violin,  piano  and  double  bass  viol;  and 
when  they  commenced  their  music  it  was  like  a  horse 
race,  each  musician  working  to  keep  the  lead  of  the 
others  and  hold  it.  The  violin  would  start  off  (as  is 
customary)  with  the  piano  and  bass  following;  in  an  in 
stant  the  piano  would  jump  two  or  three  bars,and  the  bass, 
not  to  be  out  done,  would  skip  a  half  dozen  or  more 
bars,  and  the  leader  seeing  this  would  jump  a  like  num 
ber  of  bars,  and  then  it  would  be  nip  and  tuck  with  all 
three,  pounding,  sawing  and  rasping  away,  with  each  one 
trying  to  gain  the  lead  before  the  close  of  the  piece. 

"  The  audience  oftentimes  shared  in  the  excitement  by 
making  bets  as  to  which  one  would  get  the  wire  first,  arid 
shouting  out  'Go  it  double  bass,'  or  *  Hurry  up  leader  or 
you'll  get  left/  while  the  piano  player  would  be  urged 
on  by  cries  of  '  Put  on  more  steam."  Occasionally  stray 
apples  or  oranges  would  be  sent  from  the  gallery  and 
come  full  tilt  against  the  back  of  the  heads  of  the  musi 
cians  with  the  cry,  'Go  it,  or  you'll  lose  the  race.'  Of 
course  such  conduct  as  this  had  a  tendency  to  greatly 
impair  the  respect  an  audience  might  and  should  have 
for  the  actors,  and  it  did.  There  was  hardly  one  mem 
ber  of  the  company  who  did  not  at  one  time  or  another 
for  the  week  I  was  there  (no  matter  how  serious  the 
scene)  suffer  like  indignities.  Apples,  oranges,  eggs 


BLOBSON'S    DIRE    MISHAPS.  101 

were  multiplied  as  the  audiences  increased,  and  if  the 
musicians  did  not  stop  them  with  the  backs  of  their 
heads  the  actors  would  be  the  sufferers.  It  actually 
went  to  such  extremes  that  the  musicians  after  com 
mencing  a  tune  would  keep  their  heads  swinging  from 
side  to  side  to  avoid  the  back  shots  from  the  gallery. 
One  night  the  musicians  prepared  for  the  crowd  by 
purchasing  one  basket  of  decayed  tomatoes,  ditto  of 
apples,  ditto  of  eggs,  and  when  the  gallery  gods  com 
menced  the  musicians  stopped  playing  and  started  in  to 
pelt  them  back.  The  result  was  the  theatre  was 
quickly  emptied,  and  that  night  the  mob  burned  down 
the  place." 

At  the  conclusion  of  the  first  part  of  Mr.  Brim's  early 
theatrical  experiences  a  knock  was  heard  on  the  door. 
Flick  being  nearest  to  it  opened  it,  and  a  lad  handed 
him  a  written  message  from  Manager  Bluffington  order 
ing  the  company  to  get  ready  to  start  early  the  next 
morning,  and  he  would  meet  them  at  the  Pennsylvania 
Railroad  Depot  in  Jersey  City  with  the  lady  members 
of  the  company.  Story  telling  was  at  once  dropped  and 
everyone  began  the  preparation  necessary  for  the  coming 
trip.  The  following  morning  found  every  member  in 
the  depot  ready  to  enter  the  train.  The  first  stop  was  at 
Newark,  where  they  did  only  a  fair  business.  Then  a 
one  night  stand  at  Elizabeth.  The  hall  was  a  large  one, 
and  it  was  packed  as  never  before  or  since,  but  it  was 
through  a  mistake,  as  the  people  gave  the  management 
to  understand  before  quitting  the  hall.  Words  were  often 
heard  from  the  audience  during  the  performance  such 
as  swindlers,  thieves,  obtaining  money  under  false  pre 
tences,  and  other  extremely  impolite  remarks  that  would 
not  sound  well  to  ears  polite. 

Business  Manager  Flick  seemed  to  be  the  only  one  in 


IO2  BLOBSONS      DIRE      MISHAPS. 

the  company  that  could  make  head  or  tail  to  the  cause 
of  so  much  unsavory  language  from  those  present,  and 
when  we  took  the  train  for  Trenton  he  gave  his  version. 

"  You  see,"  said  Flick,  "  Mrs.  Langtry's  Company  was 
advertised  to  play  at  that  hall  on  the  night  we  opened 
there.  This,  I  learned  from  the  agent  of  the  hall  while 
seated  in  his  office: 

"  No  money  had  been  paid  him  by  Langtry's  agent, 
but  he  expected  him  every  minute  to  get  ready  for  the 
opening.  This  was  at  8  A.  M.;  at  9  p.  M.,  a  dispatch  was 
handed  to  the  hall  man  stating  the  train  which  the 
Langtry  Company  was  on  was  side-tracked  owing  to  a 
land-slide  which  might  keep  them  there  a  day  or  a  week. 

"  This  was  startling  news  to  him.  *  What  arn  I  to  do? ' 
said  he.  '  If  it  had  not  been  for  this  Langtry  Company, 
I  would  have  closed  with  another  party  for  the  entire 
week;  now  I  must  lose  two  nights'  rent  through  that 
infernal  side-track  business.  Hang  all  side-tracks!  '  I 
saw  my  hall  manager  was  working  himself  into  a  very 
disagreeable  spirit  and  must  try  and  soothe  him.  My 
friend,  said  I,  what  will  be  your  loss  for  the  two  nights? 
'$150  at  the  lowest,' said  he.  '  Why  do  you  ask,  sir?' 
Supposing  I  was  to  say  I  would  give  you  that  sum  for 
to-night's  use  of  the  hall,  and  twenty-five  dollars  ad 
ditional  for  your  own  use;  that  sum  would  get  you  an 
elegant  suit  of  clothes  and  the  owner  of  the  building 
would  be  the  gainer  as  well.  *  My  friend,  you  are  a  trump 
and  I'll  accept  your  offer;  but  when  will  you  pay?' 
Now!  said  I.  Give  me  a  receipt  and  your  cash  is  ready. 

In  five  minutes,  the  hall  was  mine  for  that  night.  At 
4  p.  M.  our  company  was  on  the  road  to  Elizabeth,  and 
at  5:30  P.  M.  they  were  in  the  hall  eating  sandwiches 
and  getting  their  dresses  and  properties  for  the  night. 
At  6  P.  M.  my  hall  friend  or  agent  curiously  asked  me 


DIRE      MISHAPS.  103 

what  I  expected  to  do  about  getting  an  audience.  I  had 
not  advertised  in  the  papers  or  put  up  posters  in  advance 
as  other  shows  did.  I  informed  him  that  advertising  in 
the  newspapers,  putting  up  show  bills  and  getting  out 
programmes  belonged  to  the  past,  and  that  all  first-class 
combinations  like  ours,  The  Never  Get  Left  Dramatic 
Company,  did  not  do  that  sort  of  thing.  *  Well,'  said  he, 
I  am  afraid  your  combination  will  get  left  and  in  this 
very  town.'  The  man  looked  at  me  as  if  he  had  serious 
doubts  of  my  sanity  and,  moved  as  if  by  some  generous 
motive,  he  said,  *  I  think  you  had  better  take  back  your 
money  and  I'll  turn  the  lights  out.'  When  I  refused  his 
princely  offer,  he  was  certain  he  was  dealing  with  a 
madman  but,  I  asked  him  to  go  and  join  me  in  a 
little  refreshment  and  I  would  explain  to  him  a  secret  I 
had  in  coming  to  this  place  and  why  I  paid  him  the 
the  amount.  (I  know  you  will  laugh  when  you  hear  it.) 
We  went  to  an  adjoining  cafe,  I  fora  purpose,  he  to  hear 
my  story.  I  plied  him  devotedly  with  spirit  till  he 
succumbed  to  its  influence,  and  by  the  assistance  of  the 
landlord,  we  laid  him  on  a  sofa  to  sleep  off  his  potations 
while  I  went  round  to  the  theatre. 

*'  To  have  him  around  the  front  of  the  house  answering 
questions  from  those  who  might  speak  to  him  as  to  Mrs. 
Langtry's  appearance  after  she  arrived  from  the  train, 
'Was  she  looking  fatigued?'  'Is  she  as  handsome  as 
people  say  she  is  ?'  '  Did  you  speak  to  her  ?'  and  other 
silly  things  would  have  been  disastrous  to  our  show. 
That  was  my  reason  for  stowing  him  away  and  keeping 
him  out  of  sight  till  the  close  of  the  performance,  in 
asmuch  as  the  good  citizens  saw  on  the  fences  and 
papers  the  announcements  that  Langtry's  show  would 
be  the  occupant  of  the  hall  that  night  and  did  not  know 
anything  to  the  contrary  until  half  our  performance  was 


104 

over.  As  there  were  no  programmes  in  the  hall  they  of 
course  supposed  they  were  witnessing  the  Langtry  per 
formance.  And  I  knew  they  were  not.  They  did  not 
seek  me  out  to  get  any  information,  and  I  am  sure  it 
was  not  my  place  to  go  and  volunteer  it  and  be  knocked 
on  the  head  by  an  angry  mob.  *  Trenton,'  shouted  the 
conductor,  and  out  they  tumbled  to  play  there  two 
nights. 

"The  business  at  Trenton  was  anything  but  satisfac 
tory,  and  after  trying  New  Brunswick,  Philadelphia  and 
Harrisburg,  the  Capitol  of  Pennsylvania,  and  meeting 
with  considerable  success,  Flick  headed  the  organization 
for  what  he  called  Plunktown,  Pa.,  an  interior  place  some 
distance  from  the  railroad  station,  which  could  be 
reached  by  stage  or  farm  wagons  if  they  happened  to  be 
on  hand  when  the  train  arrived.  On  this  occasion 
neither  stage  nor  farm  wagon  could  be  had.  Here  was 
a  dilemma.  Night  was  fast  approaching,  and  as  there 
was  neither  farm  house,  hotel  or  tavern  in  sight  or 
sound,  and  no  possible  chance  for  the  company  to  lodge 
in  the  station,  the  great  and  trying  question  as  to  what 
should  be  done  under  the  circumstances  became  the 
leading  topic.  When  all  hope  had  been  given  up,  and 
a  majority  of  the  members  had  resigned  themselves  to 
their  fate,  a  noise  was  heard  similar  to  the  rumble  of 
some  heavy  vehicle  with  the  words,  *  Go  long  dar,  dus 
youse  wan  to  keep  me  out  hea  all  night  wid  your  fool 
ishness?  Go  long  da  Bess,  go  long  William,  and  doan 
let  you  sista  do  all  de  wuk.' ' 

'*  As  I  live,"  said  Flick,  "Our  saviour  is  near  at  hand, 
and  from  his  words  he  must  have  a  pair  of  horses." 

In  a  short  time  the  driver  and  a  pair  of  oxen  came  in 
sight  drawing  an  empty  hay  wagon.  Flick  halted  the 
son  of  ebony,  when  the  following  conversation  ensued: 


BLOBSON'S    DIRE    MISHAPS.  105 

"  You  are  the  driver  of  this  team,  I  believe?" 

"  Yes,  sah,  I  is,"  said  the  darkey,  eyeing  Flick  suspi 
ciously,  who  was  some  distance  from  the  other  members. 

"  Do  you  want  a  job?" 

"No,  sir;  I  wucks  for  Mr.  Green,  down  at  de  mill." 

"  I  don't  mean  to  ask  you  who  you  work  for,  I  mean 
would  you  like  to  earn  a  few  dollars?" 

"How  I  gwine  do  dat?" 

"  Why,  by  carrying  a  few  friends  and  myself  to  Plunk- 
town,  on  your  wagon. " 

"Well,  sah,  I'm  gwine  dat  way,  but  I  dun  can't  see 
how  you  an  you  frens  can  ride  on  dis  yar  waggin  behin 
dem  oxen." 

Flick  was  of  the  same  opinion,  but  he  was  sure  the 
people  would  prefer  the  wagon  and  oxen  to  remaining 
where  they  were  all  night. 

A  bargain  was  soon  arranged,  the  ladies  made  com 
fortable  by  sitting  on  large  pillows  of  hay,  with  the  same 
material  at  their  backs,  while  the  male  members  did  the 
best  they  could;  some  were  sitting  on  boards  across  the 
hay  rick  frame,  while  others  sat  on  the  outer  edge  of  it 
with  their  feet  dangling  over  the  sides.  The  darkey, 
whose  name  was  Joe,  followed  by  the  side  of  his  team 
to  urge  them  on  by  a  young  sapling  and  the  strength  of 
his  voice.  For  a  while  the  sensation  to  the  company 
was  pleasant;  it  was  new,  romantic  and  interesting,  but 
soul-stirring  when  a  wheel  struck  a  boulder.  An  exten 
sive  wood  could  be  seen  at  some  distance,  and  to  reach 
Plunktown  they  would  have  to  pass  through  it.  Anderson 
viewed  the  wood  and  seemed  to  enjoy  the  scene.  He 
was  seated  on  the  extreme  front  of  the  wagon,  and  kept 
up  a  live^  chat  with  Joe.  The  wood  was  finally  reached, 
and  Joe,  for  some  reason,  used  his  sapling  and  voice  on 
his  team  with  the  skill  of  a  veteran.  Darkness  now 


io6  BLOBSON'S    DIRE    MISHAPS. 

covered  the  road,  and  Joe  seemed  more  than  anxious  to 
get  out  of  the  woods.  Hearing,  as  he  supposed,  some 
one  whistling  by  his  side,  he  turned  around  to  find  no 
one  present.  Down  came  the  sapling  on  the  off  ox.  A 
voice  cried  out,  "  Don't  hit  me  again  or  I'll  ram  one  of 
my  horns  into  you."  Joe  jumped  nearly  two  feet  from  the 
off  ox.  When  asked  by  Flick  (who  dismounted  from 
the  hay  rack)  to  tell  the  cause  of  his  peculiar  move 
ment,  he  said: 

"  Why  sah,  dat  off  ox  dun  spoke  to  me." 

"When?"  said  Flick. 

"Jess  now,  sah." 

"  Spoke  to  you;  why,  what  did  he  say?" 

"  Say,  sah;  why  he  dun  jess  said  if  I  hit  him  agin  he 
wood  jess  jam  his  horns  rite  fru  me." 

Flick  knowing  the  superstition  of  the  negro  race  pre 
tended  to  believe  him.  "  Ah,  Joe,"  said  he,  ''the  ox 
knows  you  so  well  he  was  only  joking  with  you.  Go 
over  on  the  side  of  the  other  one,  and  I  am  sure  you  will 
have  no  trouble,  while  I  take  your  place  on  this  side." 
Flick  was  willing  to  do  anything  to  get  that  infernal 
traveling  van  out  of  the  woods.  Joe  had  hardly  ex 
changed  places,  when  a  voice  came  from  the  animal  he 
was  driving,  saying,  "Joe,  scratch  my  back." 

"  You  hear  dat,  sah?"    (To  Flick  on  the  opposite  side.) 

"  Hear  what?,"  said  Flick. 

li  Why,  dis  fool  ox  waunts  me  to  scratch  his  back." 

Flick  fearing  the  negro  was  generating  insane  symp 
toms,  concluded  to  hustle  and  get  that  ox  team  out  of 
the  woods  as  quickly  as  possible.  He  went  to  work  with 
an  extra  sapling  over  the  backs  of  the  team,  and  lighted 
fire  crackers  thrown  under  them,  which  made  oxen  and 
darkey  think  ihe  day  of  jubilee  was  after  them  sure.  In 
twenty  minutes  after  the  starting  up  with  the  fireworks 


BLOBSON'S    DIRE    MISHAPS.  107 

they  drew  up  at  the  only  tavern  in  the  place,  and  made 
arrangements  to  stay  there  while  in  town.  In  the  morn 
ing  it  was  discovered  there  was  nothing  but  a  dilapidated 
two-story  building,  with  a  country  store  on  the  first  floor 
and  a  hall  on  the  second,  reached  by  a  side  stairway, 
with  a  sign  on  the  building,  "The  Plunktown  Opera 
House."  (For  picture  of  sa.ne  see  cover  page.) 

There  was  neither  stage  nor  scenery  in  the  place  and 
no  seats.  Bluffington  was  wild  when  he  discovered  the 
resources  of  the  place,  how  he  reached  the  town  and 
what  his  losses  would  be.  "  Flick,"  said  he,  "  how  in 
heaven's  name  did  you  pilot  us  to  this  hole  ?  What  in 
reason  and  common  sense  made  you  do  it?" 

"  Mr.  Bluffington,  if  you  will  patiently  hear  me,  I  will 
explain." 

<;  Well,  sir,  go  on." 

"  While  we  were  playing  in  Philadelphia  I  fell  in  with 
Gypsum,  the  agent  of  the  Langtry  Combination,  who 
was  playing  at  the  Chestnut  Street  Theatre,  while  we 
were  at  the  Arch." 

"'  Well,  sir,'  said  he,  *  when  we  met,  Gypsum  said: 
1  That  was  a  nice  trick  you  played  us  in  Elizabeth,  N.  J., 
wasn't  it?  You  go  and  take  our  hall,  use  our  printing  that 
was  out  all  over  the  town,  play  to  our  audience,  pocket 
our  money,  and  when  we  arrive  on  the  next  night  to  be 
hooted  out  of  the  town.'  *  Why,'  said  I,  'You  were  in  a 
sand  bank,  and — '  'Oh,  I  forgot  that,'  said  he.  'And 
come  to  think  of  it,  really  I  cannot  blame  you;  but  it 
was  a  sharp  trick;  cute,  very  cute;  but  come,  let  us  go 
into  a  cafe;  there  we  can  sit,  smoke  and  chat  over  mat 
ters.'  '  Well,  sir,  cutting  my  story  short,  he  told  me 
they  played  in  Plunktown,  two  weeks  ago,  to  $1,900  a 
night,  for  three  nights  in  succession;  the  town  was  a 
splendid  one,  and  the  hall  had  a  seating  capacity  of 


DIRE    MISHAPS. 

2500,  with  an  elegant  stage  and  scenery.'  'It  is  no  use,'  said 
he,  '  to  pall  out  your  route  book  to  hunt  for  the  place, 
as  it  is  not  on  any  railroad,  it  being  four  miles  distant, 
and  reached  by  the  stages  from  the  magnificent  hotels 
kept  there.'  How  would  it  do,  said  I,  for  our  com 
pany  to  give  the  place  a  trial  for  one  night?  *  One  night, 
my  boy;  why,  you  could  play  that  town  one  week  to  a 
profit  with  your  company,  of  say  $3,000  at  the  lowest. 
Let  me  see,'  said  he;  'yes,  Mrs.  Potter  takes  her  Cleo 
patra  Company  there  next  week,  and  if  you  go  at  all, 
get  in  ahead  of  her  or  keep  away  from  the  place  for 
awhile.'  After  a  few  moments'  further  conversation  we 
lighted  fresh  cigars,  and  I  parted  from  him." 

<;And  you  were  badly  sold/'  said  Bluffington. 

''Yes,  sold  is  the  word,"  said  Flick.  "And,  if  I  don't 
get  even  with  him  I  will  give  up  dramatic  business." 

"  Well,  now,  all  we  have  to  do  is  pocket  our  losses,  get 
back  to  the  railway  station,  and  take  the  towns  on  the 
East  Virginia,  Tennessee  and  Georgia  Air  Line." 


CHAPTER  XV. 


OVER    THE    EAST  VIRGINIA,   TENNESSEE    AND    GEORGIA    RAIL 
WAY — THE  OLD  VIRGINNY  DARKEY,  HIS  WIFE,   HIS  BOY   ANJD 

THE  BOY'S    YALLER    DOG    ON  THEIR  EVENTFUL    TRIP A 

BIG    BUMBLE  BEE — A  YOUNG  CAT  UNDER  THE  SEAT  — 
A  CLUCKING  HEN  LAYS  AN  EGG  UNDER  WHERE  THE 

BOY    AND    YALLER    DOG    ARE    SEATED THE     OLD 

MAN,  OLD  WOMAN,  THE    BOY  AND  THE  YALLER 

DOG'S      SEARCH       UNDER      ALL       THE      SEATS 

FOR       THE      CLUCKING      HEN — ANDERSON, 

THE    VENTRILOQUIST,    KNEW     WHERE 

SHE    WAS. 

[ROM  Harrisburg,  Pa.,  the  company  took  the 
train  for  Hagerstown,  where  they  played  one 
night  to  fair  business  only.  From  this  point 
the  company  went  West,  over  the  Shenan- 
doah  Valley  Railroad.  Antietam  was  fourteen  miles 
distant  and  known  as  the  great  battlefield  of  the  late 
war.  From  the  windows  could  be  seen  the  well-known 
points  and  places  of  interest  made  famous  thirty  years 
ago.  Sheperdstown,  seventeen  miles  from  Hagerstown, 
was  the  next  stop  made  by  the  company,  and  business 
was  not  of  the  best.  Front  Royal  was  the  next  stop, 
and  here  the  company  played  to  a  large  business. 
Luray,  ninety  miles  west  from  Hagerstown,  is  an  ex 
cellent  place.  Here  the  celebrated  Luray  Caverns  are 
situated,  and  the  management  was  not  only  pleased  with 


no  BLOBSON'S    DIRE    MISHAPS. 

the  beauty  of  the  place  but  the  manner  in  which  its 
citizens  appreciate  amusements.  Shenandoah  was  the 
next  stop  At  this  point  the  shops,  mills  and  other 
works  of  the  railroad  company  are  situated.  The  audi 
ences  were  good  at  each  performance.  From  this  point 
the  company  went  to  Roanoke,  Va.,  where  an  excellent 
business  was  played  to  for  one  week,  Chattanooga  was 
the  next  point,  and  the  trip  was  one  the  passengers  will 
not  quickly  forget.  Leaving  Roanoke  after  breakfast,  via 
the  East  Virginia,  Tennessee  and  Georgia  Railroad,  they 
did  not  arrive  till  7:40  at  night.  At  Salem  among 
other  passengers  who  came  on  board  was  a  negro 
couple,  their  son  about  ten  years  of  age,  and  a  yellow 
dog  (the  boy  was  leading  with  a  string).  He  was  called 
Isaac  by  the  parents  and  the  dog  answered  to  the  name 
of  Scaly.  "  All  aboard,"  shouted  the  conductor,  and  off 
the  train  started.  Anderson,  the  ventriloquist,  occupied 
a  seat  near  the  colored  family,  and  a  smile  crossed  his 
face  as  they  took  their  seats.  After  the  train  had  been 
running  for  an  hour  or  two  the  old  man  was  slumbering 
soundly,  unconscious  of  his  surroundings.  The  wife 
was  looking  out  the  window  at  passing  objects,  the  son 
in  a  front  seat  had  followed  the  action  of  the  father, 
while  the  yellow  dog  on  the  seat  with  the  boy  was  hav 
ing  a  desperate  and  continuous  fight  with  the  fleas, 
which  would  not  be  left  behind. 

About  this  time,  a  cat  was  heard  to  cry  under  the  seat, 
which  attracted  the  attention  of  the  dog  and  caused  him 
to  discontinue  his  fight  with  the  fleas  and  commenced  to 
sniff  the  air  and  bark.  This  caused  the  cat  to  spit  furi 
ously  and  the  dog  to  bark  the  louder  and  jump  about  on 
the  seat  at  a  great  rate. 

The  string  being  fastened  to  the  boy's  hand,  boy  and 
dog  tumbled  together  in  a  heap.  This  woke  up  the  old 


BLOBSON'S    DIRE    MISHAPS.  in 

man,  while  the  mother,  trying  to  rescue  her  son,  stumbled 
over  the  old  man's  feet  and  landed  on  the  dog. 

The  old  man  finally  succeeded  in  drawing  his  feet 
underneath  the  front  seat  in  time  to  ask  •'  If  de  kyar 
had  run  offun  de  track." 

"  My  son,  "  said  the  old  lady,  after  untangling  herself 
from  the  boy  and  the  dog  and  getting  them  in  their  seat 
and  returning  to  her  own,  "c'u'd  you  tole  me  w'at  you 
and  de  dog  was  lyin'  on  de  flo'  foh? " 

"  W'y,"  said  Isaac,  I  was  asleep  w'en  a  great  big  cat 
cum  roun'  hea  and  dun  got  cuttin'  up  capers  wid  Scaly 
and  he  jess  jump  foh  dat  cat  and  drag  me  wid  him;  dat's 
all." 

"  Well,  I  jess  waun  to  tell  you,  if  you  can't  go  to  sleep 
widout  dreamin'  great  big  lies  like  dat,  you  will  has  to 
kep'  awake.  Now,  you  heah  me." 

u  Mobe  youa  shafts  ober,  ole  man;  you  is  jammin'  all 
my  corns  wid  dem." 

"  Now,  I'll  go  to  sleep,  myself.  What  wid  dis  ole  man, 
dat  boy  and  dat  Scaly,  I  has  no  peace."  (Cat  is  heard 
under  her  seat;  cries  and  spits.  Dog  jumps  up  and  barks 
fiercely.) 

ISAAC  (who  is  partly  asleep):     "Oh!  Isaac!     You  Ike!  " 

"  Yes,  *um,"  Ike  answered. 

"  Has  you  got  our  ole  cat  wid  you?" 

"  No,  mommy,  I  hasn't  dun  seen  owah  cat  sence  we 
lef  home,"  said  Isaac. 

"  Den,  foh  de  Lawd's  sake,  whose  cat  is  it? " 

"Lie  down,  you  Scaly,  or  you'll  frow  my  son  off  de 
seat  ag'in  en'  if  you  do,  dey'll  be  trubble." 

"  Wake  up,  ole  man,  and  go  and  ketch  dat  cat." 

"  Wha'  is  de  cat?  "  (Just  at  this  moment  the  buzzing 
of  a  large  bee  was  heard  flying  around  the  head  of  the 
old  woman,  the  old  man,  the  boy  and  the  dog.  When 


112  BLOB  SON    S      DIRE      MISHAPS. 

the  sound  came  near  the  dog,  he  would  make  fierce  snaps 
at  it.  The  old  man,  woman  and  boy  would  clutch  at  it. 
Their  united  efforts  to  corral  the  supposed  bee  set  the 
passengers  nearly  in  convulsions  with  laughter.) 

Every  passenger  was  attracted  to  the  end  of  the  coach 
the  fimily  occupied  and  they,  not  knowing  the  real 
cause  supposed  ths  colored  people  were  visited  by  not 
only  one  bee  but  a  hundred.  Just  as  the  family  were 
about  exhausted  in  their  strenuous  efforts  to  capture  the 
bee,  a  hen  commenced  to  cluck,  cluck,  cluck  underneath 
the  seat  of  Isaac. 

"Oh!    mammy,  jes'  hear  dat!  " 

The  old  man  and  woman  were  still  engaged  in  the 
attempt  to  fight  off  the  bee  when  their  attention  was  also 
attracted  to  the  clucking  of  the  hen  underneath  the  seat. 

The  dog,  Scaly,  was  also  an  observant  listener  and 
commenced  to  lower  his  head  and  sniff  at  the  sound. 

"  Chile,  you  jess  put  youa  han'  undah  youa  seat  and 
get  mommy  dat  egg  she  laid.  Ef  hens  will  lay  eggs  una 
seats  we  hias,  dey  'longs  to  us.  Did  youa  got  dat  egg, 


son; 


"  No,  mommy,  dey's  no —  (Looking  under  seat.) — no 
hen,  and  dey's  no  egg  hea." 

"Youa  must  be  blin',  son." 

"  Git  out  de  way  wid  youa  shafts,  ole  man,  till  I  got 
out!" 

"  I'll  fine  'em  and  den  we'll  have  a  egg  and  a  hen  too." 

Just  as  she  reached  the  boy's  seat  and  put  her  hand 
underneath,  no  egg  nor  chicken  could  be  found.  A  low, 
gentle  cluck  could  be  heard  however,  underneath  a  seat 
on  the  opposite  side,  and  she  made  a  dive  for  the  chicken. 
It  was  now  growing  dark  and  the  imaginary  chick  could 
not  be  seen  but  the  cluck,  cluck  could  be  heard. 

The  passengers,  learning  the  cause  of  the  bewilderment 


BLOBSON    S     DIRE      MISHAPS.  113 

of  the  colored  people,  entered  into  the  spirit  of  it  and, 
when  the  old  lady  would  make  a  request  to  search  under 
any  of  the  seats  for  the  chicken,  they  would  gladly  grant 
the  request.  As  she  moved  from  seat  to  seat,  the  cluck, 
cluck,  cluck  would  precede  her  till  she  had  gone  over  one 
side  of  the  car.  Back  she  went  to  the  old  man. 

"  Look  yar,"  said  she  to  the  old  man,  "  dat  ar  chicken 
dun  lay  dat  egg  unda  our  seat  and  it  'longs  to  us,  and 
she  has  jes'  picked  it  up  in  her  mouf  and  is  trottin' 
aroun'  under  de  seats,  and  I'm  gwine  to  cotch  her  and  I 
wan'  you  an'  de  boy  an'  de  dog  to  come  an'  help  me." 

The  whole  family  started  off  in  the  direction  of  the 
cluck,  cluck  to  catch  that  hen  and,  when  the  train  drew 
up  in  the  depot,  they  were  engaged  in  their  search  and, 
if  the  employees  had  not  ordered  them  out  of  the  train, 
they  would  have  remained  indefinitely. 

The  success  of  the  company  at  Chattanooga,  Tennes 
see,  was  all  that  could  be  desired.  It  is  an  enterprising 
city,  and  a  great  railroad  centre,  and  in  time  will  hold 
a  prominent,  leading  position,  equaling  some  of  the 
principal  Southern  cities. 

The  next  stop  was  made  at  Atlanta,  Georgia,  situated 
some  140  miles  south  of  Chattanooga,  and  on  the  line  of 
the  East  Tennessee,  Virginia  and  Georgia  Railroad.  The 
business  of  the  company  here  was  somewhat  of  an  im 
provement  over  Chattanooga.  From  Atlanta  the  com 
pany  sped  on  to  Macon,  ninety  miles  furthersouth.  After 
making  a  stay  of  three  nights  in  this  quiet  inland  city, 
arrangements  were  made  to  stop  over  at  Jessup,  140 
miles  south  from  Macon,  for  one  night;  thence  over  the 
Savannah,  Florida,  and  W.  R.  R.,  to  Savannah,  a  very 
prominent  city  on  the  banks  of  the  Savannah  River.  The 
city  is  one  of  ancient  date,  founded  in  1733  by  James 


114  BLOBS  ON 'S      DIRE      MISHAPS. 

Ogelthorpe,  and  distant  some  eighteen  miles  from  the 
ocean. 

The  company  having  to  lie  over  here  some  fourteen 
hours,  they  visited  many  of  the  principal  points.  The 
hotel  DeSoto,  Forsyth  Park,  the  Historical  Society,  the 
Telfair  Academy  of  Fine  Arts,  the  Historic  Monuments, 
the  drives  over  shell  covered  streets,  the  old  but  beau 
tiful  cemetery  of  Bonaventure  and  Hope,  and  Thunder 
bolt  Islands,  certainly  paid  for  the  time  spent  in  the 
tour  over  the  city.  After  dinner  the  company  were 
driven  to  the  boat,  which,  by  the  way,  was  the  well- 
know,  beautiful  steamer  Kansas  City,  of  the  Ocean  Steam 
ship  Company  of  Savannah,  claimed  to  be  one  of  the 
finest  and  fastest  in  the  fleet.  Down  the  river  she  sped, 
and  nearly  everyone  was  engaged  in  viewing  the  scenery 
along  the  banks,  and  the  plunging  in  and  out  of  the 
water  of  the  alligators,  as  the  steamer  made  her  way  to 
the  ocean. 

In  two  hours  after  starting,  the  supper  gong  was 
sounded,  and  the  seats  at  the  different  tables  were 
quickly  filled,  the  sea  breezes  giving  the  passengers 
keen  appetites  for  a  meal  that  could  not  be  surpassed  at 
any  of  our  leading  hotels,  and  to  which  every  one  seemed 
to  do  full  justice,  Props  and  Blobson,  in  particular.  It 
would  seem  as  if  Blobson  had  not  eaten  anything  before 
in  a  week  except  pump  water,  and  as  if  Props  had  been 
subsisting  on  stage  properties  for  the  same  period. 

About  10  p.  M.  that  night  Blobson  and  Props  were  dis 
covered  in  apparent  close  communion,  looking  out  over 
the  side  of  the  ship;  alternately  and  very  suddenly  drop 
ping  their  heads  and  clasping  their  hands  to  about  mid 
way  of  their  waistcoats.  Flick  was  a  close  observer  of 
these  antics,  and  marveled  much  at  the  conduct. 

"Why, what  in  thunder  are  you  fellows  at  now?"  said  he. 


"  Oh,  do  go  away  and  let  us  die,"  said  Blobson,  still 
looking  into  the  sea. 

"  Yes,  let  us  die  in  peace,"  said  Props,  without  remov 
ing  his  attention  from  the  sea.  "I've  thrown  up  every 
thing  since  I  got  on  board,  and  if  I'd  thrown  up  my  en 
gagement  before  I  came  here,  I  would  not  be  as  I  am 
now — dying  by  inches. 

No  inducements  held  out  by  Flick  to  have  them  go 
to  their  state-rooms  had  any  effect. 

"  No,"  said  Blobson,  (with  one  hand  on  the  rail  and  the 
other  over  the  waist-band  of  his  vest)  '* 1  know  I  am  going 
to  die—  (Throws  his  head  suddenly  over  the  side  of  the 
ship  and  looks  into  the  sea  again.  After  taking  a  view 
of  the  water,  he  continued.)  and  I'll  stay  here  and  face 
my  death —  (Elis  head  goes  again  over  the  side,  seaward, 
and  after  looking  down  a  sufficient  time  into  its  depths,  he 
turned  in-board.)  like  a  man  but — (And  here  another 
contraction  of  the  stomach  occurred  and  his  head  swung 
to  seaward.)  sir,  I  shall  not  leave  this  spot — " 

What  further  he  would  have  said  was  stopped  by  a  too 
sudden  lurch  of  the  vessel  which  distributed  him  and 
Props  at  full  length  on  the  deck.  Added  to  this  was  a 
volume  of  water,  thrown  up  as  the  ship  settled  back, 
covering  Blob^on  and  Props  from  head  to  heels.  After 
this  playful  freak  of  the  sea,  Blobson's  courage  gave  way 
and  he  was  led  to  his  room,  followed  by  Props,  and  there 
they  remained  till  the  ship  landed  at  her  pier  in  New 
York. 


CHAPTER    XVI. 


TRIP    TO     BUFFALO     OVER     THE     NEW    YORK     CENTRAL    AND 

HUDSON    RIVER    RAILWAY — A   TRAMP  IN    THE    BOX   CAUSES 

RAILWAY     AND     HOTEL     OFFICIALS     TO      INVESTIGATE — 

LAUGHABLE  AND  EXCITING  SCENES  IN  SEARCHING  FOR 

HIM EVERY  TRUNK  AND  CARPET-BAG  EXAMINED — 

THE  ESCAPE  AT  BUFFALO  AND  THE  CITY  THROWN 
INTO    SPASMS    AT    HIS    APPROACH — ANDERSON 
THE  PRIME  CAUSE  OF  ALL,  BUT  NOT  SUSPECT 
ED THE  TRAMP  TURNS  OUT  TO  BE  A  FOR 
MER  RESIDENT  OF  THE  SAVANNAH  RIVER, 
TAKING     A     TRIP     TO     BUFFALO. 

HE  following  morning,  the  company  was  in  full 
force  at  the  Grand  Central  Depot,  Forty- 
second  Street,  to  take  the  New  York  Central 
and  Hudson  River  Railway  train  for  Buffalo. 
All  but  Anderson  took  seats  in  the  passenger  coaches. 
He,  knowing  the  baggage  man  of  the  train,  slipped  in 
with  him  and  seated  himself  on  a  long  box  which  had  a 
large  number  of  trunks  piled  on  top  of  it.  It  looked, 
for  all  the  world,  like  the  outer  covering  of  a  coffin  and 
Anderson  presumed  it  was,  and  a  smile  passed  over  his 
features  thereat. 

The  train  was  a  through  express  making  only  one  stop 
between  New  York  and  Albany;  one  of  George  H.  Dan 
iels'  cannon-ball  trains.  While  passing  through  a  dark 


t*.  W.  DAVIDGE  .  as    LAUNCE 

in  2  Gentlemen  of  Verona. 


BLOBSON    S      DIRE      MISHAPS.  1I"J 

tunnel,  a  dreadful  groan,  as  if  some  one  in  great  agony, 
came  from  the  trunks  piled  up  on  the  long  box  on  which 
several  railway  officials  were  seated,  which  made  them 
scatter  pretty  lively. 

"  Bill,  there  is  a  tramp  behind  that  pile  of  baggage, 
and  I  think  he  is  pretty  well  crushed,"  said  Samuel  Car 
penter  to  the  baggage  man. 

u  Tramp  !  crushed  !  Why,  sir,  no  man  could  be  be 
hind  that  pile  of  baggage,  because  I  piled  it  up  myself." 

"Well,  if  there  isn't  a  man  behind  those  trunks  I  will 
go  without  eating  for  a  month." 

*'  I  heard  him  groan,"  said  Col.  John  M.  Otter. 

"  Yes,  and  a  terrible  groan  it  was.  I  don't  r.hink  I 
ever  hea-rd  such  a  distressing  sound,"  said  Charles 
Lambert. 

11  It  seemed  to  me,"  said  Edwin  Booth,  "  to  be  a  groan 
from  some  sorrowful  soul  parting  from  this  world." 

George  H.  Daniels,  being  on  the  train  at  the  time, 
was  brought  into  the  baggage  car  to  ask  the  baggage 
man  to  make  an  investigation.  By  this  time  the  train 
started  into  another  tunnel,  when  several  groans  much 
louder  and  more  prolonged  than  the  first  were  given. 

"  Baggage  man,  this  is  extraordinary,  and  for  the  sake 
of  humanity  it  must  be  investigated.  Take  down  that 
pile  of  baggage,"  said  Mr.  Daniels.  Just  as  the  first 
trunk  was  about  to  be  removed  a  suppressed  groan  was 
heard.  The  trunk  was  dropped  as  if  it  was  a  bar  of  hot 
iron. 

"  Here,"  said  Mr.  Carpenter,  '(pulling  off  his  coal), 
"  I'll  give  you  a  lift.  If  we  don't  hurry  up  (another 
groan  from  the  trunks)  the  man  will  be  crushed  to  a 
jelly." 

"  I'm  with  you,"  said  Col.  Otter. 

"  Count  me  in,"  said  Edwin  Booth.     "  It  can  never  be 


nS  BLOBSON'S    DIRE    MISHAPS. 

said  I  stood  tamely  by  when  a  human  being's  life  was 
in  the  balance  and  not  give  a  helping  hand." 

"  We  are  all  with  you,"  exclaimed  O.  H.  Briggs, 
George  L.  Connor,  George  W.  Brad)'-,  J.  W.  Burdick, 
James  J.  Breslm,  Passenger  Agents  Farrington,  Gross, 
A.  C.  Kendall,  Joseph  Cornell,  George  W.  Lewis,  A.  M. 
Palmer,  Edward  Gilmore,  Col.  H.  C.  Clements,  Orlando 
Taylor  and  several  others. 

In  a  moment  they  followed  the  example  set  by  others 
by  throwing  off  their  coats  and  going  to  work  at  the 
baggage  over  the  long  box.  As  each  trunk  was  removed 
a  groan  would  be  heard  which  materially  hastened  the 
work.  Afier  the  first  pile  was  removed  the  groans  were 
heard  in  the  adjoining  pile  of  trunks  on  the  same  side 
of  the  car. 

"  Why,"  said  Mr.  Carpenter  (after  wiping  off  the  per 
spiration),  '•  I  was  sure  I  heard  the  groans  from  the  pile 
of  luggage  we  just  removed." 

"  I  don't  wish  to  question  the  veracity  of  any  gentle 
men  present,"  said  Mr.  Daniels,  "but  the  groans  came 
directly  from  the  pile  of  luggage  we  are  now  look 
ing  at." 

"  Gentlemen,  what  say  you?  Come,  speak  out,"  said 
Mr.  Gross.  (Painful  and  impressive  groans  were  heard 
by  the  time  the  train  reached  half-way  into  another  short 
tunnel.) 

By  the  time  the  train  arrived  at  the  end  of  it,  all  were 
of  the  opinion  that  hasty  action  was  necessary,  and 
to  work  they  went  with  a  will.  That  section  of  baggage 
was  soon  piled  upon  the  floor  with  the  first,  and  no  liv 
ing  or  dead  person  could  be  found,  but  on  the  opposite 
or  right  hand  side  of  the  car  the  groans  were  heard  very 
distinctly. 

"Gentlemen,    I   was  pretty  sure    from   the   start    we 


DIRE      MISHAPS.  119 

were  working  on  the  wrong  side  of  the  car,  but  pre 
ferred  your  judgment  to  my  own  and  acquiesced,"  said 
Col.  Clements. 

"  Well,"  said  Mr.  Kendall,  "  suppose  then  we  act  upon 
Col.  Clements  suggestion  and  clear  up  this  side." 

Without  a  murmur  willing  hands  pitched  bags,  trunks, 
hat  boxes,  bird  cages,  baby  carriages,  bridal  trunks, 
bachelors'  trunks,  dudes'  collar  and  cane  boxes,  old 
maids'  trunks  and  cat  cages,  and  every  conceivable 
traveling  curio  to  the  floor,  till  it  would  seem  as  if  that 
baggage  car  had  been  loaded  by  a  mud  scow  scoop  in 
stead  of  by  the  experienced  hands  of  a  baggage  master. 
Nothing,  however,  was  found  in  the  slightest  form  repre 
senting  a  human  body  or  even  a  photograph  of  one. 
The  next  minute  the  train  pulled  into  Albany,  and  so 
mixed  up  was  baggage  and  parcels  in  the  baggage  car, 
that  it  required  the  help  of  nearly  all  the  baggage  men 
in  the  depot  to  pick  out  two  pieces  for  that  town.  After 
nearly  an  hour's  delay  hunting  up  those  two  pieces  the 
train  was  supplied  with  another  engine,  and  away  it 
sped  at  lightning  speed,  making  up  for  lost  time.  An 
derson,  the  ventriloquist,  and  Bill,  the  baggage  master, 
were  talking  seriously  of  the  groaning  they  heard  before 
reaching  Albany,  and  during  their  conversation  nearly 
all  of  the  railway,  hotel  and  steamboat  men  came  in  the 
baggage  car  again,  and  seating  themselves  on  the  long 
wooden  box  and  spare  trunks  near  it,  the  subject  of  the 
crushed  tramp  came  up.  Everyone  had  a  theory  about 
the  matter,  in  fact  so  absorbed  were  they  that  a  terrific 
groan  coming  from  the  long  box  on  which  some  were 
seated  nearly  paralyzed  with  astonishment  all  present 
except  Anderson. 

"  Gentlemen,"  said  Mr.  Breslin,  gaining  his  usual 
composure,  "  this  is  dreadful,  and  I  think  it  the  duty  of 


120  BLOBSON'S    DIRE    MISHAPS. 

each  and  everyone  of  us  to  give  this  matter  a  thorough 
investigation.  I  generally  act  on  first  impressions  and 
guide  myself  accordingly.  Now  there  may  be  some 
spiritual  influence  at  work  here;  if  so  I  can  go  no  fur 
ther." 

As  no  one  present  admitted  or  denied  the  knowledge 
of  possessing  spirit  power  Mr.  Breslin  resumed: 

"Well  then,  gentlemen,  my  theory  is,  the  groans  we 
heard  as  emanating  from  behind  the  trunks  came  from 
one  other  place;  and  if  an  investigation  is  made  of  the 
long  box  it  is  there  we  will  find  the  cause." 

His  remarks  struck  everyone  present  as  being  too 
weighty  to  controvert. 

*  Yes,"  said  Mr.  Skinner  of  the  C.  P.,  "  but  how  did 
the  poor  devil  get  in  that  box;  he  certainly  did  not  ven 
ture  in  there  alone." 

"  Oh,  I  am  not  so  sure  of  that.  Tramps  are  very 
cute.  This  fellow  in  the  box  took  this  peculiar  way  to 
reach  Buffalo,  and  now  he  is  paying  the  penalty  by 
being  nearly  suffocated,"  said  Mr.  A.  C.  Kendall. 

While  Mr.  Kendall  was  speaking  the  baggage  man 
went  in  search  of  tools  to  open  the  box.  When  he  re 
turned  all  hands  went  to  work.  If  they  had  but  pulled 
the  box  into  the  middle  of  the  car  floor  they  would  have 
discovered  air  holes  in  it,  the  article  it  contained  and  the 
party  it  was  addressed  to,  who  was  a  well-known  mer 
chant  in  Buffalo.  In  their  anxiety  to  liberate  the  sufferer 
they  lost  sight  of  these  facts.  As  it  was  getting  quite 
dark  a  lamp  was  lighted,  and  its  illuminating  power  was 
of  but  little  benefit  to  the  workers.  Occasionally  a 
dreadful  groan  would  come  from  the  box  and  startle  all 
engaged.  This  would  be  followed  by  a  rattling  within  it. 

"  Keep  quiet,  old  fellow.  Just  have  a  little  patience. 
We  will  soon  get  you  out;  but  take  our  advice  and  don't 


BLOBSON    S      DIRE      MISHAPS.  121 

try  to  steal  another  ride  in  this  way,"  said  Mr.  Farns- 
worth,  of  the  Rock  Island  Road. 

The  box  was  made  as  if  to  stand  a  siege,  and  the  first 
blow  given  to  a  chisel  split  the  handle  so  that  the  tool 
became  useless.  The  next  tool  to  go  was  a  screw 
driver,  which  was  used  as  a  lever.  Some  one  suggested 
a  crowbar  from  the  engine,  and  away  went  the  baggage 
man. 

"  Let  me  out,  or  I'll  die,"  came  from  the  box. 

"  Have  a  little  patience,  old  fellow,  and  we  will  get  you 
out.  All  our  tools  are  broken,  and  when  we  get  a  crow 
bar  we  will  pry  the  lid  off,"  said  Mr.  Lambert  of  the 
West  Shore. 

"  I  know  you'll  hit  me  with  it  and  then  I'll  be  a  dead 
man,  sure,"  said  the  voice  in  the  box. 

"  Don't  be  alarmed.  We  will  be  extremely  careful," 
said  Col.  Gilmore,  of  Niblo's  Garden. 

The  bar  was  brought  in  by  the  baggage  man  and  Brown 
commenced  on  the  box.  The  train  was  but  a  mile  or  two 
from  Buffalo,  and  the  baggage  men  opened  both  side 
doors  preparatory  to  entering  the  depot.  Brown  and 
his  assistants  were  working  with  might  and  main  to 
liberate  the  unfortunate  tramp  in  the  box  when,  as  the 
train  rolled  into  the  depot,  the  cover  was  wrenched  off 
and  the  occupant  made  a  plunge  and  shot  out  the  car 
door  onto  the  platform,  landing  on  its  feet,  and  away  it 
sped,  frightening  and  horrifying  everybody,  out  into  the 
street.  It  ran  at  a  wonderfully  rapid  pace,  causing  pe 
destrians  to  flee  from  it  in  every  direction.  Horses  ran 
away;  vehicles  of  every  description  were  tossed  together 
and  the  people  became  terror-stricken.  A  crowd  soon 
gathered  around,  armed  with  guns,  pistols,  clubs  and 
stones,  and  took  up  the  chase  after  this  new  visitor. 

When    near  the   post   office,  and,  as   if   to   escape   its 


122  BLOBSON'S      DIRE      MISHAPS. 

pursuers,  it  made  a  rush  for  an  open  saloon  door  which 
at  the  time  was  rilled  with  people,  some  standing  at  the 
bar,  while  others  were  seated  at  the  tables.  The  noise  it 
made  on  entering  caused  every  one  in  the  place  to  turn 
and  look,  and  in  an  instant  its  occupants  were  mounted 
on  the  tops  of  tables  and  bar  counter. 

In  rushed  the  crowd,  and  what  with  the  firing  of  guns, 
pistols,  clubs  and  stones,  the  monster  alligator  was  killed 
and  the  saloon  was — well  if  a  tornado  had  struck  its 
interior  it  would  not  have  presented  a  much  worse  ap 
pearance. 

The  Never  Get  Left  Dramatic  Company,  having  occu 
pied  a  coach  near  the  end  of  the  train,  knew  nothing  of 
the  occurrence,  and  after  their  arrival  in  Buffalo,  went 
quietly  to  the  hotel.  Anderson,  however,  could  tell  all 
about  it  if  questioned. 


CHAPTER  XVII. 


BLOB3ON  AND  THE  MULE  IN  A.  FRIENDLY  COMBAT,  NOT  DOWN 

IN  THE  BILLS — A  CABBAGE  THE  CAUSE AN  UNEXPECTED 

AND  LAUGHABLE    ENDING  FOR  THE  AUDIENCE,  BUT 
A  CRUSHING  EXIT  FOR  BLOBSON  WHO  STUMBLES 
THROUGH    THE    STAGE    BY  A    VAMPIRE    TRAP 
WHILE      THE       MULE      GOES      AFTER       HIM 
THROUGH     THE      HAMLET      TRAP — BRIM 
GIVES    ANOTHER    OF    HIS    EARLY  DRA 
MATIC       TOURS — THE      COMPANY 
REACH    MONTREAL. 

lOTHING  of  any  importance  occurred  while 
the  company  remained  in  Buffalo.  The  bus 
iness  was  what  might  be  classed  as  "  uni 
formly  good."  The  only  incident  worthy  ot 
mention  was  the  one  occurring  to  Blobson  in  the  play  of 
"Dred;  or,  the  Dismal  Swamp,"  dramatized  in  1859  and 
first  played  at  the  Bowery  Theatre  under  the  manage 
ment  of  Allen  and  Boniface. 

In  this  piece,  a  mule  is  used  to  drag  a  wagon  in  which 
an  aged  negro  and  a  few  white  children  are  seated,  ready 
for  camp  meeting.  After  reaching  the  camp,  the  mule  is 
unhitched  and  left  to  go  at  his  own  sweet  will.  Meander 
ing  around  the  back  of  the  wings,  his  eye  was  attracted 
to  the  stage  where  Blobson  stood  holding  in  his  hand  a 

cabbage  which  Brim,  the  comedian,  gave  him.     Why  he 
9' 


124  BL ORSON'S    DIRE    MISHAPS. 

held  it  or  why  Brim  handed  it  to  him,  no  person  could 
tell. 

It  was  this  vegetable  which  attracted  the  attention  of 
the  mule,  and  he  would  occasionally  give  forth  a  "  haw-he- 
haw-he-haw."  These  sounds,  although  dreadfully  dis 
cordant,  commencing  at  A  and  running  up  the  scale  to  high 
C,  amused  both  the  actors  and  audience.  The  people  be 
hind  the  wings  could  not  prevent  his  running  upand  down 
the  musical  scale  nor  from  going  on  the  stage  which  he 
did  under  the  protests  of  the  manager,  stage  manager 
and  prompter,  till  he  reached  Blobson  who  was  on  the 
opposite  side  of  the  stage  from  whence  the  mule  came. 
Blobson  flourished  the  cabbage  at  him  to  frighten  him 
back.  The  mule,  at  this,  reared  up  on  his  heels  and 
pawed  the  air  in  close  proximity  to  Blobson's  head, 
keeping  up  his  he-hawing  and  prancing  about  on  his 
heels. 

To  say  that  Blobson  was  astonished  would  be  only 
drawing  it  mild;  he  was  horrified,  in  fact,  nearly  par 
alyzed  with  fear;  cold  streams  of  perspiration  were  run 
ning  down  his  spinal  column,  and  making  his  shoes  res 
ervoirs  for  same.  As  he  moved  about  to  save  himself 
from  the  pawing  of  the  mule's  fore  feet,  the  mule  ac 
companied  him  around  the  stage.  The  audience  pre 
suming  this  was  a  trick  mule,  and  Blobson  was  his 
trainer,  they  gave  full  vent  to  their  laughter.  The  ac 
tors  saw  the  dangerous  position  Blobson  was  in,  and  be 
came  frightened.  Some  called  out  to  him  to  run  for  his 
life.  "Fire  the  cabbage  at  him,"  said  Brim.  "Throw 
pepper  in  his  eyes,"  said  Props.  "Jump  on  his  back," 
said  Flick.  "  Take  a  fall  out  of  him,"  said  a  bootblack, 
in  the  gallery.  But  Blobson  heeded  not  the  kindly  ad 
vice  so  generously  given;  he  couldn't;  his  thoughts  were 
elsewhere;  his  brow  was  corrugated,  his  face  ashy  pale, 


BLOBSON'S    DIRE    MISHAPS.  125 

his  lips  blue,  his  eyes  sunken,  and  he  hopped  around  the 
stage  to  avoid  the  mule  quicker  than  a  live  chicken  in 
boiling  water.  Blobson  saw  no  hope  of  escape  unless  he 
made  a  bolt  for  the  wings;  this  he  did  in  a  jiffy,  but  the 
mule  rushed  after  him;  then  it  became  a  journey  of  life. 
As  Blobson  ran  off  the  stage  and  around  the  wings  and 
across  stage  again,  so  did  the  mule.  The  audience  see 
ing  this,  supposed  it  was  a  race  between  them,  and 
showed  their  pleasure  accordingly. 

Smiggs,  the  carpenter,  got  his  assistants  together;  he 
told  them  poor  Blobson  would  be  killed  unless  they 
came  to  his  assistance.  "  Get  the  Vampire  trap  and  the 
Hamlet  trap  ready,''  said  Smiggs.  Across  the  stage 
came  Blobson  again,  and  the  mule  after  him.  "Throw 
away  your  cabbage,"  said  Brim,  as  Blobson  flew  past 
him  with  the  mule  in  full  tilt  close  upon  his  heels.  "  Go 
through  the  Vampire  trap,"  said  Props,  as  Blobson 
made  another  turn  across  the  stage  with  the  mule.  "Take 
the  Vampire  trap  and  you're  safe  again,"  said  Props,  as 
Blobson  passed  him  on  his  fifth  heat,  with  the  mule 
only  a  head  behind  him.  On  his  next  trip  across, 
Blobson  sunk  exhausted,  and  as  luck  would  have  it,  he 
slumped  down  on  the  Vampire  trap  and  disappeared  in 
stantly  out  of  sight.  Almost  simultaneously  the  mule 
appeared  on  the  stage  and  went  head-long  through  the 
Hamlet  trap  that  Smiggs  had  previously  opened;  the 
curtain  fell  at  once  and  the  audience  was  dismissed. 

Saturday  night  was  the  last  in  Buffalo  and  on  Sunday, 
bright  and  early,  after  a  hearty  breakfast,  the  company 
took  the  Grand  Trunk  Line  for  Montreal,  Canada. 

Brim,  being  urged  on  by  several  of  the  members  to 
continue  his  early  experiences  in  the  dramatic  profession, 
while  the  train  sped  onward,  he  complied. 

"  Well,"  said  he,  "  you  remember  where  I  left  off  my 


125  BLOBSON'S    DIRE    MISHAPS. 

story  about  my  playing  in  a  tumble-down  rookery  at 
Cohoes?  " 

"  Oh!  yes,"  they  answered. 

"  Very  well,  it  only  saves  me  the  trouble  of  beginning 
the  whole  story  over  again.  After  the  Cohoes  snap,  I 
was  induced  by  one  of  the  defunct  companies  to  go  to 
Schenectady,  fourteen  miles  further  north,  and,  from  a 
letter  I  had  in  my  possession,  from  the  manager  of  a  com 
pany  that  would  open  there  the  following  week,  I  thought 
I  might  secure  an  opening.  Not  having  sufficient  means 
to  ride  there,  and  the  day  being  pleasant,  a  friend  and  I 
took  our  slight  effects  in  two  valises  and,  to  secure  as 
straight  a  route  as  possible,  we  took  the  canal  tow-path. 
With  the  boats  heavily  laden  and  the  merry  voices  on 
them  passing  and  repassing  each  other,  the  horses  trot 
ting,  their  drivers  hallooing  and  shouting  to  each  other 
and  the  many  pedestrians  on  the  way,  the  time 
passed  very  quickly.  Towards  dusk,  we  entered  the  old 
Dutch  town  of  Durrup  or,  as  it  is  known  in  railway 
guides,  Schenectady.  My  companion  who,  by  the  way, 
was  christened  Charles  Salisbury,  and  first  saw  the  light 
of  day  or  night  in  Albany,  insisted  upon  going  direct  to 
one  of  the  taverns  in  the  place  and  we  might  possibly  hear 
of  the  new  manager.  On  entering  the  house,  Mr.  Salis 
bury  became  the  spokesman,  and  going  up  to  the  land 
lord  with  all  the  dignity  of  a  Wall  Street  banker,  (and 
he  could  do  it)  '  Have  you,'  said  he,  *  a  gentleman  in 
your  hotel,  by  the  name  of  Alonzo  Smithers? '  *  Such  a 
gentleman,  sir,  is  stopping  here  and  has  just  seated  himself 
in  the  dining  room,  and  if  your  business  is  pressing  I  will 
take  you  in,'  said  the  landlord.  In  we  marched,  the  land 
lord  leading  the  way.  (  Mr.  Smithers,'  said  he,  '  here  are 
two  gentlemen  who  wish  to  see  you.'  Smithers  turned 
about  in  his  chair  and,  seeing  Salisbury,  recognized  him  at 


BLOBSON'S    DIRE    MISHAPS.  127 

once.  I  was  then  introduced  and  we  were  both  invited  to 
supper  which  we  were  much  in  need  of  and  to  which  we 
did  ample  justice.  After  supper,  we  strolled  out  into 
what  might  be  called  a  parlor,  a  sitting  room  and  a 
smoking  room,  all  thrown  into  one.  Our  conversation 
turned  to  things  theatrical  and  the  interview  closed  with 
Salisbury  and  myself  becoming  members  of  Manager 
Smithers' ;  Always  on  the  Fly  Dramatic  Company.'  *  You 
see,'  said  our  manager, '  this  town  is  not  a  theatrical  one, 
consequently  it  will  be  necessary  for  our  company  to 
create  a  good  impression.'  The  hall  we  were  to  play  in 
was,  as  were  many  others  of  that  period,  bare  of  every 
thing  except  benches.  As  for  stage  or  scenery,  there  was 
no  provision  made. 

"  In  a  few  days  Smithers,  with  the  aid  of  the  male 
members  of  the  company,  erected  a  stage  from  the  lumber 
we  carried  from  an  adjoining  lumber  yard  and,  with  the 
drops  and  wings  carried  by  Smithers,  a  very  cosy  appear 
ing  stage  presented  itself.  I  concluded,  before  the 
opening  night,  to  ask  Mr.  Smithers  what  compensation 
I  would  be  allowed,  per  week,  for  my  services.  '  Well, 
my  boy,'  said  he,  *  as  you  are  recommended  so  highly  by 
Mr.  Salisbury,  I  will- give  you  five  dollars  per  week  and 
traveling  expenses;  so  you  can  thank  your  friend,  Mr. 
Salisbury,  for  so  munificent  a  salary.'  And  away  went 
Smithers. 

"  When  I  was  alone,  I  felt  more  like  pounding  Salisbury 
than  thanking  him,  but  what  was  I  to  do?  If  I  rejected 
his  offer,  I  knew  not  where  to  go,  and  if  I  went  away,  I 
had  no  money  to  buy  food  or  shelter,  consequently  I 
must  remain  till  some  better  opportunity  presented,  go 
and  study  the  part  given  me  and  prepare  for  the  opening 
night. 

"  On  the  Monday  following,  the  doors  were  open,  and 


128  BLOBS  ON  *S      DIRE      MISHAPS. 

as  soon  as  the  people  were  in,  a  roaring,  stamping  and 
shouting  commenced.  '  Raise  the  rag!  Music!  music,' 
was  shouted  from  all  parts  of  the  house.  After  a  little 
delay,  the  performance  commenced  with  the  drama  of 
'  The  Golden  Farmer.'  Although  played  as  I  never  saw 
it  before  or  since,  it  took  well  with  the  audience,  however. 
Salisbury  played  the  *  Golden  Farmer,'  and  were  it  not 
for  his  unfamiliarity  with  the  text,  (a  great  weakness  of  his 
in  every  part  he  played)  it  would  have  gone  much  easier. 
In  one  scene,  where  he  is  advised  by  his  wife  not  to  go  out 
that  night  he  resorted  to  a  lot  of  mechanical  gags  that  had 
no  connection  with  the  author  nor  the  scene.  The  lady 
could  not  of  course  follow  him,  and  a  dead  stick  was  the 
result.  Salisbury  looked  at  the  lady  and  she  looked  in 
astonishment  at  him,  going  down  to  the  footlights  where 
the  orchestra  occupied  two  chairs,  one  a  pianist,  the  other 
a  violinist.  Both  were  eagerly  watching  the  action  of 
the  play.  *  Well,  gentlemen,  are  we  to  stay  on  the  stage 
all  night,  waiting  for  you  to  go  on  with  the  music? ' 
This  was  news  to  the  musicians  who  were  ordered  not 
to  play  after  the  curtain  went  up.  Not  being  certain 
as  to  their  orders  from  the  manager,  they  commenced  to 
pound  and  rasp  for  all  they  were  worth.  Salisbury  took 
advantage  of  this  and  walked  off  the  stage  to  the  prompt 
desk,  returning  with  the  prompt  book  of  the  play. 
*  There,'  said  he  to  the  lady,  "  is  the  music  cue  I  was  wait 
ing  for  and  here  is  the  speech  '  reading  it  off,  '  I  was  to 
speak.'  So  astonished  was  the  lady,  she  could  not  utter 
a  word.  *  Now,  then,  my  darling,  come  with  me  and  we 
will  talk  this  all  over  in  an  adjoining  room.'  Taking  the 
lady  by  one  hand  and  the  prompt  book  in  the  other,  he 
beckoned  to  the  musicians  to  stop,  deliberately  walked  off 
the  stage  and  informed  the  prompter  of  his  want  of  atten 
tion  to  his  business,  who  in  his  astonishment,immediately, 


BLOBSON'S    DIRE    MISHAPS.  129 

and  without  giving  the  matter  any  thought,  whistled  the 
scene  off  when  he  should  have  let  it  stand  until  the  fall 
of  the  act  drop.  After  the  farce  of  the  '  Rabbit  Hunt/ 
the  curtain  fell  and  the  audience  filed  out  into  the  street. 

"  Our  season  was  not  what  might  be  called  an  artistic, 
nor  a  financial  success  and,  as  if  to  further  dampen  our 
efforts,  the  well-known  circus  of  Welsh  &  Mann  came  to 
town,  and  while  it  remained  we  played  to  empty  benches; 
and  the  circus,  well,  they  did  but  little  better.  Our 
manager  concluded,  on  the  coming  Saturday  night,  to 
move  to  Troy  where  we  arrived  on  Monday.  At  the 
Troy,  N.  Y.,  Museum,  Billy  Florence  and  his  charming 
wife  were  starring;  this  was  about  1858.  The  bill  for 
the  night  was  the  well-known  Irish  drama  of  *  Ireland  As 
It  Is,'  '  Judy  O'Trot,'  or,  as  others  have  called  it,  '  Ragged 
Pat,'  and  '  The  Young  Actress.'  Florence  was  the  *  Rag 
ged  Pat;  '  Mrs.  Florence,  the  *  Judy  O'Trot; '  and  one  of 
the  finest  actors  I  ever  saw  as  Dan  O'Carolan  was  Peter 
Cunningham.  The  house  was  crowded,  of  course.  At 
another  place,  The  Apollo  Hall,  '  Kunkell's  Minstrel's' 
were  holding  forth,  while  at  Rand's  Hall,  the  '  Matt 
Peel,  Rumsey  &  Newcomb  Minstrels  '  were  playing  to 
crowded  houses.'*' 

"  How  was  the  performance  ?''  said  Flick. 

"  Immense;  Mat.  Peel  was  on  the  bone  end,  Bill  New- 
comb  held  the  tambourine,  with  Hy.  Rumsey  as  interloc 
utor,  Farrenburg  as  the  tenor,  Sher.  Campbell  baritone, 
and  Raynor  as  the  basso.  Who,  that  ever  heard  Farren 
burg  warble  '  Blue  Violets,'  or  Raynor  sing  the  '  Mock 
ing  Bird,'  could  forget  them?  Ah!  boys,  those  were  the 
days  for  the  real  genuine  minstrels.  Well,  our  manager 
seeing  how  things  were  running  in  that  town,  took  the 
night  boat  down  the  river,  and  left  us  to  look  over  the 
geography  of  the  place.  The  first  thought  occurring  to 


130  BLOBSON'S    DIRE    MISHAPS. 

me,  as  it  has  and  will  to  the  end  of  time,  with  actors 
when  thrown  upon  their  own  resources,  is  to  get  up 
some  sort  of  an  entertainment  where  two  or  more  may 
be  interested  in  giving  a  performance  of  some  kind, 
which  is  almost  impossible  to  describe.  In  fact,  the  actor 
could  not,  if  asked  what  the  entertainment  is  to  be,  give 
an  intelligent  answer  to  the  question,  but  consoles  him 
self  with  the  belief  that  somehow  or  other  everything 
will  be  all  right  when  the  time  comes.  In  this  instance 
some  headway  was  made.  The  company  selected  for  the 
venture  was  your  humble  servant,  Charles  Salisbury, 
Joe  Sefton  and  Henry  Farren.  The  first  town  was  Hud 
son,  N.  Y.,  and  thither  we  went.  Here  the  only  availa 
ble  building  to  be  obtained  was  the  yellow  school  house, 
which  was  then  vacant  owing  to  its  being  vacation  sea 
son.  As  this  offered  us  nothing  but  the  smoky  bare 
walls,  we  were  obliged  to  fit  up  our  opera  house  as  best 
we  could.  Salisbury  being  a  great  projector,  he  was 
called  upon  to  go  out  and  take  a  survey  of  the  town  and 
see  if  he  could  not  interest  some  person  to  provide  us 
with  material  to  fit  up  a  stage,  curtains,  etc.,  etc.,  while 
the  rest  of  us  would  get  our  heads  together  and  prepare  a 
bill  for  the  occasion.  Salisbury  succeeded  beyond  his 
or  our  brightest  anticipations.  In  an  hour  he  returned, 
and  reported  everything  for  the  erection  of  a  stage,  cur 
tains  and  a  few  other  things,  would  soon  be  at  the  door. 
He  worked  his  little  scheme  by  getting  into  the  good 
graces  of  a  dealer  of  a  second-hand  furniture  store,  by 
giving  him  a  pass  for  himself  and  family;  this  matter 
being  settled,  the  next  thing  to  do  was  to  get  out  our 
bill  for  the  opening  night,  and  here  is  the  bill  : 


HUDSON  CITY. 


GRAND    AND    IMPOSING 

ENTERTAINMENT. 

BY    A    WELL    KNOWN    COMPANY    OF 

COMEDIANS 

FROM  THE 

LEADING  NEW  YORK  AND  LONDON  THEATRES. 


THE  PRINCIPAL  MEMBERS  ARE, 

SEFTON,    SALISBURY,    BRIM,    FARREN, 
And  many  other  celebrities. 


Performance  to  commence  at  7,  sharp. 


Carriages  can  be  ordered  at  10. 
ADMISSION  TO  THE  WHOLE  ENTERTAINMENT,  25  CENTS. 


"The  printer  was  not  called  in  to  print  our  poster,  as 
Salisbury  was  clever  with  the  brush.  Some  white  sheets 
of  paper,  costing  twenty  cents,  and  the  loan  of  a  pot  of 
black  paint,  ditto  red,  ditto  blue,  from  a  painter,  on 
promise  of  tickets  for  himself  and  family,  were  soon 
obtained,  and  in  a  short  time  the  bills  were  painted,  and 
shortly  afterwards  placed  on  the  school-house  and  in 
other  conspicuous  places.  As  to  the  class  of  entertain 
ment  we  were  to  present  to  our  would-be  patrons,  never 
entered  our  heads  until  a  few  hours  before  the  opening. 
However,  it  was  shortly  settled.  Salisbury  was  to  recite 
the  good  old  days  of  'Adam  and  Eve/  Brim  would 
dance  a  sailor's  hornpipe  and  walk  on  stilts,  Farren 
was  to  recite  '  Hamlet's  Soliloquy',  and  Sefton  would 


132  BLOBSON    S      DIRE      MISHAPS. 

sing  *  The  Ratcatcher's  Daughter'  and  the  'Bonnie, 
Sweet  Lassie/  accompanied  by  the  orchestra,  which  con 
sisted  of  only  one  violinist. 

"  I  think  I  had  better  cut  my  story,  boys." 

"  No,  no,"  came  from  the  listeners." 

"Well,  all  right  ;  I  will  come  down  to  the  opening  of 
the  doors.  Salisbury  was  to  take  tickets.  I  was  to  sell 
them.  Sefton  and  Farren  were  to  act  as  ushers,  which 
compelled  these  two  worthies  to  invest  twenty  cents  for 
two  pairs  of  white  cotton  gloves.  Well,  the  cue  was 
given  to  throw  open  wide  the  portals  so  that  no  obstruc 
tion  might  appear  in  the  way  of  preventing  the  amuse 
ment-goers  of  Hudson  from  gaining  immediate  entrance 
to  our  grand  entertainment.  We  waited  fifteen  minutes 
for  the  expected  rush,  then  thirty  minutes,  then  fifteen 
more.  The  violinist  was  finally  called  on  to  strike  up 
and  see  if  by  this  means  some  attention  might  be  called 
to  our  entertainment.  Salisbury  discovered  a  bass  drum 
under  the  stairway,  and  brought  this  forth.  Sefton  also 
made  a  discovery  of  a  snare  drum  behind  the  teacher's 
desk,  and  with  these  two  emblems  of  war  and  chowder 
clubs,  Salisbury  and  Sefton  went  at  their  work  with 
a  hearty  good  will.  The  result  was  that  as  the  clock 
was  on  the  stroke  of  9  p.  M.  some  fifteen  paid  people,  in 
cluding  the  second-hand  furniture  man  and  family,  and 
the  owner  of  the  paint  pots  and  his  family,  were  in  the 
school-house. 

"  The  carriage  audience  evidently  neglected  to  visit  us, 
which  had  a  depressing  effect  upon  Sefton  and  Farren, 
who  felt  keenly  the  slight,  and  more  particularly  their 
investment  of  twenty  cents  in  white  gloves.  For  a 
while  we  hesitated  as  to  whether  we  would  give  the 
entertainment  or  turn  the  hose  on  the  audience.  It  was 
settled,  however,  in  favor  of  giving  a  performance,  and  I 


BLOBSON    S     DIRE      MISHAPS.  133 

must  say  we  entered  into  the  spirit  of  the  thing,  and 
succeeded  in  pleasing  our  audience  and  ourselves. 
Everything  must  come  to  an  end,  and  so  did  the 
performance.  After  counting  up  the  house  and  expen 
ditures,  we  found  we  had  sufficient  to  go  on  to  one  or 
two  more  towns.  Our  spirits  soon  changed  from  gloom 
to  sunshine. 

It  is  a  noticeable  fact  among  professionals,  when  their 
pockets  are  light  their  spirits  are  equally  so.  Disheart 
ening  failures  may  at  the  moment  dampen  and  chill 
their  prospects,  but  it  is  only  for  a  moment,  for  in  the 
next  they  are  as  happy,  jovial  and  mischievous  as  though 
they  never  associated  with  the  ills  and  miseries  of  life. 
What  would  bankers,  merchants,  "  Mi  Lord,"  "  Mi  Lady," 
give  to  have  the  unselfish  and  happy  disposition  of  stage 
players  ? 

As  our  funds  were  too  low  to  engage  other  people 
and  go  into  larger  places,  the  only  course  left  us  was  to 
forego  the  pleasure  of,  as  we  first  intended,  visiting  a 
few  more  small  towns,  go  direct  to  New  York  and  try 
for  engagements  at  some  of  the  regular  theatres.  The 
next  train  over  the  Hudson  River  Railroad  we  took  ad 
vantage  of,  and  in  a  few  hours  landed  in  New  York, 
each  one  wending  his  way  to  a  separate  boarding  house," 

Before  the  company  left  Buffalo,  Flick  had  secured 
seats  to  Toronto  via  the  Grand  Trunk  Railway,  and  a 
pleasant  journey  it  was.  After  leaving  Buffalo,  the  train 
passed  over  Niagara  Falls,  the  grandest  sight  on  the 
American  Continent,  crossed  the  Suspension  Bridge, 
thence  to  Hamilton,  and  laid  over  two  nights  at  Toronto, 
where  the  company  played  to  excellent  business.  Mr. 
Frank  P.  Dwyer,  Eastern  Passenger  Agent  of  the  line, 
met  the  company  here,  and  proved  a  valuable  assistant 
in  securing  seats  and  making  the  company  feel  perfectly 


134  BLOBSON'S    DIRE    MISHAPS. 

at  home  while  on  the  road.  From  this  point  to  Kings 
ton  the  scenery  was  delightful.  The  Thousand  Islands 
commence  here,  and  the  scenery  along  the  St.  Lawrence 
River  till  the  company  reached  Montreal  was  one  of 
magnificence,  beauty  and  grandeur.  Brim  was  just  clos 
ing  about  his  arrival  in  New  York,  when  the  train  slacked 
up,  and  they  were  soon  approaching  their  destination, 
more  than  pleased  over  the  journey  and  the  attention 
given  them  by  the  officials  of  the  Grand  Trunk  Line. 


CHAPTER  XVIII. 


TRIP     OVER     THE     CANADIAN     PACIFIC,  AFTER     PLAYING     IN 
MONTREAL BRIM'S    STORY     OF     EARLY    THEATRICAL     EX 
PERIENCES    THROUGH    PENNSYLVANIA     AND    NEW    ENG 
LAND     TOWNS — THE     UPS     AND    DOWNS    OF    A    BARN 
STORMING    ACTOR — ADVANCE    AGENTS,  HOW    THEY 
TRICK    EACH    OTHER — PLAYING    IN    CANADIAN 
TOWNS — WINNIPEG        REACHED— ON      TO 
DETROIT,    MICHIGAN. 

JT  the  conclusion  of  Brim's  story  the  car  door 
was  thrown  open,  and  the  words,  "  All  out  for 
Montreal  !"  were  heard,  and  in  twenty  min 
utes  after  wards  the  company  was  marching 
with  satchels,  boxes  and  bags,  into  the  well-known 
hostellerie,  the  St.  Lawrence  Hall,  kept  by  Henry  Hogan. 
Being  pretty  well  fatigued  they  retired  early,  and  on 
the  following  morning  all  hands  went  out  to  look  at  the 
theatre,  and  afterwards  the  town;  theatrical  people  gen 
erally  make  it  a  rule  to  first  see  where  they  are  to  play, 
and  then  if  they  have  the  time  give  the  town  or  place  a 
look  over.  This  was  the  case  with  this  company. 

The  City  of  Montreal,  with  its  population  of  275,000, 
is  an  elegant  place;  385  miles  from  New  York,  and  346 
from  Boston,  and  is  reached  from  New  York  by  the  New 
York  Central  Railroad  and  Citizens'  line  of  steamers  to 
Troy,  and  thence  onward  by  the  Delaware  and  Hudson 
Railroad,  into  the  very  heart  of  the  city. 


136  BLOBSON'S    DIRE    MISHAPS. 

On  Monday  night,  the  company  opened  to  a  large 
house  and  it  was  duplicated  every  night  they  remained. 
Saturday  night,  short  playing  pieces  were  substituted  for 
the  purpose  of  making  connections  with  the  Canadian 
Pacific  Railway  going  west  from  Montreal  to  Ottawa, 
120  miles  distant. 

From  St.  Rose,  seventeen  miles  west  from  Montreal, 
the  railway  follows  the  northern  bank  of  the  Ottawa, 
showing  a  lovely  valley  with  well-tilled  farms  devoted  to 
dairy  and  market  produce.  After  crossing  the  Gatineau 
River,  the  government  buildings  come  in  view  and.  situ 
ated  as  they  are,  on  a  high  cliff,  they  are  easily  seen. 

Ottawa  is  the  capitol  of  the  Dominion,  and  it  contains 
many  fine  and  costly  residences.  Vast  quantities  of 
lumber  are  made  here,  and  there  are  many  mills  and 
workshops  which  give  strong  evidence  of  the  employment 
of  many  workmen,  a  fact  professionals  admire  as  it  is  the 
honest  toiler  that  can  always  be  depended  upon  to  fill 
the  house  in  stormy  or  sunshiny  weather.  The  city 
stands  on  moderately  high  ground  and  overlooks  a  charm 
ing,  wide  valley,  dotted  here  and  there  with  fine  farms 
and  buildings,  while  the  city  itself  possesses  many  large 
and  elegant  hotels  and  the  government  buildings. 

The  residence  of  the  Governor-General,  Rideau  Hall,  is 
two  miles  distant  from  the  city  but,  asBlobson  did  not 
receive  an  invitation  to  call  upon  his  generalship,  he 
concluded  he  would  not  honor  him  by  a  visit.  The  com 
pany  played  here  three  nights  to  a  fair  average  business, 
and  the  next  town  to  open  in  was  Toronto,  with  a  popu 
lation  of  140, coo  and  distant  349  miles  west  from  Montreal. 
Here  the  company  arrived  at  8  A.  M  and  went  im 
mediately  to  their  hotel.  This  is  the  capitol  and 
the  second  city  in  size  in  the  Dominion  and  has  large 
manufacturing  industries.  The  private  residences  are 


BLOBSON'S    DIRE    MISHAPS.  137 

large  and  somewhat  imposing  in  appearance  and  speak 
well  for  the  wealth  of  its  inhabitants.  Three  nights  in 
the  town  satisfied  the  manager  that  a  little  earlier  in  the 
season  would  have  proved  more  profitable  to  his  pocket 
and  caused  him  less  agony  of  mind. 

Before  Bluffington's  Company  arrived  in  town,  the 
principal  hall  had  been  engaged  by  another  dramatic 
company  who  were  playing  to  good  business  while  in 
another  part  of  the  town,  a  large  circus  and  menagerie 
held  high  carnivaL  the  tents  being  packed  at  every 
performance.  Caleb  Woglom  headed  the  dramatic  com 
pany  and  his  managerial  skill  was  exceedingly  well  dis 
played,  not  only  here  but  in  several  other  towns,  by  get 
ting  in  ahead  of  "  The  Never-Get-Left-Dramatic-Com 
pany."  and  several  others  of  even  greater  pretensions. 
He  had  a  faculty  of  jumping  all  of  the  smaller  towns  to 
reach  the  larger  ones,  securing  the  best  halls  and  promi 
nent  stands  for  his  printing,  and  then  patiently  await 
the  arrival  of  his  Company.  In  the  show  business  as  in 
every  other,  competition  is  the  same  and  laggards  are 
driven  to  the  wall.  Flick  saw  that  Woglom  had  out 
generaled  him,  and  instead  of  pining  over  it  set  his  plans 
to  out-do  him. 

Flick  got  the  information  from  one  of  Woglom's  bill 
posters  that  they  were  going  over  the  Canadian  Pacific 
Railway  to  Winnipeg,  1,424  miles  west  of  Montreal. 
This  was  all  the  information  Flick  required.  Woglom's 
Company  would  remain  three  nights  longer  in  Toronto, 
and  the  night  he  closed  there  would  be  the  opening 
night  for  Flick's  organization  in  Winnipeg.  The  man 
ner  in  which  Flick  hustled  the  Company  to  get  their 
traps  together  and  reach  the  depot  was  as  if  he  did 
not  have  a  minute  to  spare  before  getting  away.  It 
seemed  as  if  life  and  death  were  pending  in  the  balance 


ijS  BLOBSON'S    DIRE    MISHAPS. 

with  him.  The  actors  were  angry  and  felt  extremely 
annoyed  at  his  style  of  hustling  them  as  if  they  were  so 
many  criminals.  Blobson  had  the  night  previous  bor 
rowed  a  Richard  the  III  suit  to  stand  for  a  photographer 
on  that  eventful  morning,  and  he  felt  heart-broken  at  his 
loss. 

Others  had  their  complaints,  while'still  others  had 
their  washing  at  the  laundries.  Some  of  the  articles 
were,  however,  just  out  of  the  wash  tubs,  some  were 
rough  starched,  while  some  more  had  not  even  made  the 
acquaintance  of  soap  and  water.  Into  their  trunks  the 
articles  went,  wet  and  dry,  and  were  soon  bundled  to  the 
depot  and  on  the  train.  After  a  ride  of  nine  hours  North 
Bay  on  the  Canadian  Pacific  came  in  view  with  Lake 
Nipissing  in  the  foreground,  an  elegant  sheet  of  water 
40  miles  long  by  10  miles  in  width,  when  Flick  told  the 
members  of  the  Company  that  in  this  section  of  the 
country  they  were  traveling  over,  each  and  every  one 
could  obtain  eighty  acres  of  land  free.  They  wanted  the 
train  stopped  immediately  to  get  out  and  claim  the  title 
deeds,  but  when  informed  by  the  conductor  that  only 
an  actual  settler  was  entitled  to  the  land,  they  did  not 
press  that  official  to  stop  the  train. 

Towns  of  from  300  to  6,000  were  passed  on  the  trip. 
Port  Arthur,  993  miles  from  Montreal,  is  a  beautiful 
place,  and  is  situated  on  the  west  side  of  the  bay  known 
as  Thunder  Bay.  The  population  is  5,500.  The  next 
important  point  was  Fort  William,  998  miles  from  Mon 
treal,  with  a  population  of  1,600.  The  next  day  at  12, 
noon,  the  train  pulled  into  Winnipeg,  the  capital  of  the 
Province  of  Manitoba,and  situated  at  the  junction  of  the 
Red  and  Assinniboine  rivers.  The  city  is  handsomely 
laid  out  with  buildings  of  brick,  stone  and  wood,  and 
has  a  population  of  29,000. 


BLOB  SON'S      DIRE      MISHAPS.  139 

Here  the  company  played  to  a  fine  business  for  one 
week.  In  fact,  as  Flick  stated,  he  was  sure  there  wasn't 
a  dollar  left  in  the  town  for  any  other  show  ;  and  Wog- 
lom,  after  trying  it  three  nights  following  Flick's  raid, 
needed  no  convincing  proofs  that  Flick  was  not  correct 
in  his  statement. 

Everything  was  settled  to  take  an  early  morning  start 
from  Winnipeg  next  day  and  go  back  over  the  Canadian 
Pacific  Railway,  crossing  Lake  Superior,  and  so  on  to 
Detroit.  Flick  having  heard  that  two  other  dramatic 
and  two  opera  companies  were  heading  for  the  same 
point,  concluded  to  be  first  on  the  ground.  It  was  a 
beautiful  morning  when  the  train  pulled  out  of  the 
depot,  and  as  it  soon  became  tiresome  looking  at 
mountains,  valleys,  streams,  etc.,  Brim  was  appealed  to 
to  continue  his  early  theatrical  experience. 

"  Well,  boys,"  said  Brim,  "  when  I  closed  on  my  last 
story  I  had  then  arrived  in  New  York  with  very  little 
money,  but  a  fair  credit  with  my  landlady,  who,  when 
she  saw  me,  welcomed  me  in  royal  style  by  preparing  a 
nice  supper  for  me.  I  was  so  cheered  after  the  meal  that 
I  forgot  my  past  misery  and  resolved  to  give  up  show 
business  forever." 

"  Did  you  really  give  up  theatrical  life  ?  "  said  the 
innocent  Blobson. 

"  Hardly,"  said  Brim,  "  or  I  would  not  be  occupying 
my  present  position  as  first  low  comedian  in  this  com 
pany." 

"  Yes,  yes  ;  a  mistake  of  mine,  I  see,"  said  Blobson. 
At  this  the  company  roared. 

"Actors,  as  a  class,  after  an  unfortunate  trip,  feel  the 
stage  has  no  further  charms,and  mentally  resolve  to  take 
up  the  first  thing  that  presents  itself — anything  that  is 

honorable — but  for  some  reason  or  other  they  are  unable 
10 


140  BLOBSONS      DIRE      MISHAPS. 

to  find  anything  suitable,  and — well,  the  stage  again 
claims  them.  Such  was  my  case.  I  tried  for  days,  and 
was  about  giving  way  to  despair  when  my  eye  lighted 
upon  an  advertisement  in  a  daily  paper  :  'A  full  dra 
matic  company  wanted.  Apply  to  452  Broadway/ 
Thither  I  went  and  engaged  to  go  through  the  mining 
regions  of  Pennsylvania.  This  was  a  section  of  coun 
try  I  had  not  been  in  before,  and  was  quite  desirous  of 
making  the  trip.  The  manager,  a  Mr.  Mason,  I  found 
was  a  stage-struck  amateur  possessing  a  small  amount 
of  brain  backed  up  by  a  little  money  and  a  superabund 
ance  of  dramatic  conceit.  To  hear  this  Mason  boast  of 
his  acting,  one  would  suppose  there  was  none  other  capa 
ble  of  filling  the  leading  roles  of  Shakespeare  but  him 
self. 

"Our  first  stop  was  at  Scranton,  Pa.,  where  we  were 
to  play  for  one  week.  In  the  company  we  had  Charles 
J.  Heartwell,  leading  man;  George  L.  Aiken  (dramatic 
author  of  'Uncle  Tom's  Cabin'),  George  Anderson, 
George  \V.  Thompson,  Mr.  S.  Mortimer  (comedy),  Mr. 
Williams,  Mr.  Harry  Sheed,  Mr.  S.  Brim,  Mrs.  Ander 
son,  Mrs.  Binney,  Miss  Linden  and  others. 

"  Our  first  week  was  a  disastrous  one,  artistically  and 
financially.  Mason  was  the  star,  and  he  played  Damon 
in  'Damon  and  Pythias'  during  that  time.  The  amount 
for  the  first  night  was  $84,  the  second  was  $24,  the  third 
brought  in  $15  and  decreased  in  proportion  each  night. 
Things  were  looking  dark  and  gloomy  financially,  and 
Mason  was  appealed  to  to  let  Mr.  Heartwell  try  a  week 
in  some  of  his  special  roles,  but  it  was  useless.  Mason 
claimed  if  he  could  not  draw  the  business  no  person 
could.  *  I  have  gone  to  the  expense  of  bringing  to  this 
town  a  fine  company,'  said  he,  '  for  my  support,  and 
as  the  residents  haven't  the  intelligence  to  appreciate  a 


BLOBSONS     DIRE     MISHAPS.  141 

star  of  my  magnitude  we  will  tarry  here  no  longer  than 
to-night.  Next  week  we  will  play,'  said  he,  *  in  Wilkes- 
barre,  Pa,,  where  our  merits  will  be  appreciated ' 

"  Well,  we  went  over  to  Wilkesbarre  and  the  people 
of  this  town  had  heard  of  our  star  and  left  him  and  his 
company  to  play  to  empty  benches.  Mason  tried  it  for 
a  week  and  then  left  us  to  find  our  way  back  to  New 
York.  Thompson  and  I  rode  back  on  a  coal  car,  using 
for  seats  two  large  chunks  of  coal.  How  the  rest  man 
aged  to  reach  home,  I  am  unable  to  say." 

"  You  were  paid  your  two  weeks'  salary,  at  least,"  said 
Blobson. 

4k  Paid!  "  said  Brim,  "  No,  sir;  not  a  penny!  And  it  is 
just  such  men  as  Mason  who  degrade  the  members  of  an 
honorable  profession  and  will  to  the  end  of  time. 

"Well,  gentlemen,"  said  he,  continuing,  "  after  reach 
ing  the  city  I  went  to  my  good-natured  landlady  (and 
she  was  a  lady  of  the  old  school).  I  told  her  my  story 
and  instead  of  upbraiding  me  for  not  having  the  means 
to  liquidate  a  portion,  if  not  all  my  past  obligations,  she 
hurried  me  off  to  my  room,  with  the  injunction  that  I 
must  get  cleaned  up,  as  supper  would  soon  be  ready. 
After  supper  I  sat  down  to  read  the  papers  and  learn  the 
news  of  the  day.  To  my  surprise  I  read  the  following  : 
*  A  society  lady  wishes  a  dramatic  company  to  support 

her;  apply  35 street.'  Bright  and  early  the  next 

morning  I  applied  at  the  street  and  number,  and  was 
ushered  into  a  richly  furnished  parlor,  and  was  met  by 
the  lady's  manager.  Although  he  had  to  me  a  forbid 
ding-looking  face,  as  if  he  had  just  escaped  from  prison, 
he  had  a  well  lubricated  tongue.  His  story  was  to 
the  effect  that  the  lady  he  represented  was  a  society 
star,  with  abundance  of  means  at  her  command;  and  as 
I  was  the  last  member  required  to  fill  the  company,  the.y 


142  BLOBSON    S     DIRE     MISHAPS. 

would  open  in  Springfield  on  the  following  Monday,  and 
afterwards  play  in  all  the  leading  Eastern  cities.  The 
terms  offered  me  were  satisfactory,  and  I  closed  with  him, 
and  went  home  to  make  preparations  to  leave  on  the 
Saturday  morning  train.  We  left  New  York  in  grand 
style,  but  we  did  not  return  in  that  way. 

"  I  can  assure  you,  one  week  was  enough  in  Spring 
field,  Mass.,  and  well,  after  that,  it  was  get  home  as  well 
as  you  can.  Charley  Peters  and  I  managed  to  get  as  far 
as  Fall  River  by  train  through  the  courtesy  (I  might 
as  well  use  that  term)  of  one  of  the  railway  employees, 
who,  by  the  way,  had  been  an  actor  at  one  time  ;  from 
the  train  we  went  on  board  the  steamer.  Our  capital 
being  limited,  having  secured  a  few  dollars  from  the 
manager  of  the  Society  lady,  we  felt  we  could  relin 
quish  all  thoughts  of  a  state-room  for  a  solid  supper,  and 
we  did  so.  After  a  very  hearty  meal  in  the  kitchen  (by 
feeing  one  of  the  waiters)  we  sauntered  out  on  deck  to 
inhale  as  much  of  the  ozone  as  two  in  our  position  were 
entitled  to,  and  to  discuss  the  occurrences  of  the  past 
ten  days.  We  found,  upon  comparing  notes,  our  willowy 
manager  was  one  of  the  many  well  dressed  sharks  who 
make  a  co-mfortable  living  from  stage-struck  young 
ladies  possessing  sufficient  capital  to  purchase  costumes, 
etc.,  etc.  They  make  a  point  of  advertising  for  young 
ladies  to  play  a  star  part  in  some  piece;  experience  not 
necessary.  Must  have  means  to  furnish  their  costumes, 
etc.,  etc. 

"By  this  method  the  swindler,  male  or  female,  gets  ac 
quainted  with  young  ladies  who  may  possess  a  few  hun 
dred  or  more  dollars,  and  tells  them  of  the  bright  future. 
A  company  is  engaged  to  travel,  and  as  long  as  the 
money  of  the  victim  holds  out,  the  delusion  is  kept  up. 
But  when  the  bubble  bursts  and  there  is  no  money  to 


BLOBSON'S    DIRE    MISHAPS.  143 

pay  the  hotel  man,  the  printer,  the  hall  owner,  or  the 
members  of  the  company,  then  comes  the  tug  of  war,  as 
to  how  the  deceived  and  injured  people  can  get  to  their 
homes.  This  is  the  character  of  the  inhuman  brute  with 
whom  I  played.  But  there  are  many  more  like  him, 
and  so  long  as  there  are  victims,  so  loug  will  there  be 
swindlers  of  this  same  stamp. 

Well,  after  we  had  discussed  matters  till  nearly  mid 
night,  it  was  thought  proper  to  make  a  search  for  some 
quiet  nook  to  stow  ourselves  away  till  we  landed.  Peters 
hit  upon  a  double  seat  carriage  on  the  forward  deck, 
and  into  it  we  clambered.  It  was  one  of  the  inclosed 
kind,  with  windows  and  shades;  and  when  the  doors 
were  shut  a  spring  in  the  lock  prevented  them  being 
opened  from  the  outside.  We  made  ourselves  comfort 
able  with  some  rugs  and  blankets  we  found  inside,  but 
we  had  no  sooner  got  comfortably  seated  before  we  were 
aroused  by  the  cry  of  'Tickets!  have  your  tickets 
ready  !  '  Not  taking  the  precaution  to  provide  our 
selves  with  tickets,  we  were  certainly  unprepared  for  any 
such  demand;  consequently  concluded,  in  this  instance, 
discretion  the  better  part  of  valor,  and  there  we  remained 
till  the  boat  touched  her  dock  in  New  York,  when  we 
made  our  way  up  town."  Just  as  Brim  had  reached  this 
point  in  the  story,  Flick  came  rushing  in  and  announced 
the  fact  that  Detroit  was  now  in  sight,  and  to  prepare  for 
the  end  of  their  journey.  With  the  promise  from  Brim 
that  he  would  continue  his  story  at  some  other  time, 
they  commenced  to  pack  up  their  wraps,  etc.,  etc. 


CHAPTER  XIX. 


THE    COMPANY     IN    DETROIT HOW    FLICK    WAS    BUNCOED — 

BUILDING    CASTLES     FROM     HIS    IMAGINARY     WEALTH — 

GREAT      DISAPPOINTMENTS HOW      FLICK      WOULD 

RUN     A    SHOW OVER    TO      CHICAGO — A     TRIP 


PACIFIC     RAILWAY — HOW     BLOBSON 
GOT    A     LIVE    BABY. 

[ITHOUT  delay  or  accident  the  Company  ar 
rived  in  Detroit,  reached  the  hotel,  and  it 
being  quite  late,  all  retired  for  the  night. 
Flick  was  the  first  to  make  his  appearance 
the  next  morning,  and  after  breakfast  he  started  out  to 
make  arrangements  for  engaging  with  the  best  theatre 
on  big  sharing  terms,  or  engaging  the  best  hall.  In 
both  he  was  disappointed.  Not  a  theatre  in  the  place 
had  any  time  or  terms  to  offer  for  two  weeks,  owing  to 
previous  arrangements,  and  the  only  hall  that  could  be 
rented  was  a  tumble-down  rookery  somewhat  after  the 
style  of  the  Plunktown  Opera  House,  only  in  a  worse 
condition.  The  rival  companies  he  expected  to  leave 
behind  him  and  reach  Detroit  in  advance  evidently  took 
the  short  cut  and  out-generaled  him.  "  Yes,"  said  Flick, 
"  that  is  always  the  way  with  Bluffington,  he  must  have  his 
way,  and  now  look  at  the  result,  a  clean  $2,000  lost  to  us 
in  the  week.  Had  I  been  permitted  to  bring  the  Com- 


Madame  MODJESKA  and  Miss  KEMBLE. 


BLOBSON    S      DIRE      MISHAPS.  145 

pany  from  Winnipeg  by  rail  instead  of  that  infernal  Lake 
route,  we  would  have  had  our  pick  of  theatres  and  not 
be  laughed  at  by  other  advance  agents.  Well,  there  is 
one  thing  certain,  Bluffiington  will  have  to  stop  med 
dling  with  the  outside  business  of  this  Company,  or  I 
will.  I  now  give  him  fair  warning.  I  am  not  going  to 
be  further  interfered  with."  "Is  this  your  pocketbook, 
sir  ?  "  said  a  young  woman  whose  face  was  very  hand 
some,  while,  her  garments  bespoke  poverty.  Flick, 
while  communing  with  his  own  thoughts,  did  not  hear 
her  footstep  nor  the  sound  of  the  pocketbook  she  drop 
ped  at  his  feet.  "Why,  bless  my  soul,"  said  he,  taking 
the  pocketbook  in  his  hand,  "you  gave  me  an  awful 
start  ;  where  did  you  get  this?'' 

"At  your  feet,"  said  she,  "and  I  presume  you  lost  it." 

Flick  pushed  his  hands  into  every  pocket,  even  into 
those  in  his  vest,  and  was  on  the  point  of  promptly  de 
nying  any  knowledge  of  his  ever  seeing  it  before,  when 
his  better  nature  overcame  his  slight;  scruples;  he  opened 
the  wallet  and  saw  as  he  supposed  mountains  of  green 
backs,  so  promptly  answered  :  "  Yes  !  it  is  mine." 

"  Oh,  I'm  so  glad !  '  said  the  young  woman.  "  I  am  very 
poor  and  sadly  in  need  of  money.  Yet  it  gives  me  joy 
to  feel  you  are  in  possession  of  your  own,  although  my 
mother  and  poor  little  brothers  and  sisters  know- not 
where  to  go  to  get  their  next  meal." 

Flick's  very  selfish  nature  was  touched  and  he  was 
about  to  open  the  wallet  and  give  her  a  portion  of  the 
money  it  contained,  feeling  she  was  entitled  to  a  share  of 
it,  a  small  one,  and  she  should  have  it. 

"  Yes,"  said  he  (communing  with  himself),  "  from  what 
I  saw  when  I  opened  it,  there  must  be  several  thousand 
dollars  in  it.  Yes,  my  dear,  your  honesty  I  will  reward." 

He  was  about  to  open  again  the  wallet  to  give  her  a 


146  KBLOBSON?S     DIRE      MISHAPS. 

share  of  it,  when  she  prevented  him  by  pointing  to  two 
suspicious  individuals  on  the  opposite  corner,  looking 
over  to  where  Flick  and  the  young  woman  were  standing. 

"  If  you  expose  that  wallet  so  that  those  men  can  see 
it,  you  may  be  followed  and  possibly  meet  with  sudden 
death,1'  said  she. 

"  Are  there  such  people  living  here?  "  said  Flick. 

"  Oh,  yes!  plenty  of  them.  And  that  class  of  people 
knowing  you  had  a  large  wallet  containing  possibly 
thousands  of  dollars,  would  stop  at  nothing  to  obtain 
it." 

"  Well,  here,  my  good  girl,"  (taking  a  roll  of  bills  from 
his  inside  coat  pocket)  there  is  at  least  fifty  dollars,  and 
if  you  will  agree  to  meet  me  on  this  corner  at  say  this 
hour,  to-morrow,  I  will  give  you  an  additional  fifty. 
Now,  I  will  leave  you  as  I  see  those  two  suspicious 
characters  have  their  eyes  upon  us.  Remember  to  be 
here  to-morrow  at  this  hour." 

"Thank  you!  I  will!"  And  she  turned  the  corner 
and  was  soon  lost  to  view. 

Flick  hurried  onward  and  increased  his  speed  at  nearly 
every  step  so  that  when  he  was  within  a  block  of  his 
hotel,  he  had  quickened  his  pace  into  a  run.  Dashing 
upstairs,  he  entered  his  room,  shut  the  door  with  a  terrible 
slam,  and  not  until  he  had  locked  and  double  bolted  the 
door  and  pushed  the  bureau  against  it,  did  he  feel  safe 
from  murderers  and  assassins.  Without  stopping  to  wipe 
the  perspiration,  which  was  running  down  in  torrents 
from  his  head  and  face,  and  settling  into  the  heels  of  his 
stockings,  he  pulled  out  his  wallet. 

"Ah!  my  friend,"  said  he,  "you  and  I  will  keep 
company  in  the  future.  I'll  take  care  you  will  never 
again  go  astray.  Yes,  I  can  now  snap  my  fingers  at 
Bluffington,  with  his  old  ramshackle  '  Never  Get  Left 


BLOBSON'S    DIRE    MISHAPS.  147 

Dramatic  Company/  Shall  I  count  the  money  now  or 
had  I  better  wait  till  I  get  over  the  thought  of  those 
villains  following  me?  I  will  wait  a  while.  (Knock  at 
door.  Flick  starts  up  in  terror.)  Hello!  Eh!  who  is 
there?  If  you  try  to  enter,  it  will  be  at  your  peril!  Speak, 
quick,  your  message,  or  your  life  will  not  be  worth  a  dead 
mackerel.  Speak,  I  say!  Who  are  you?  " 

<:  Please,  sir,  I'm  Front,"  said  a  squeaking  voice  through 
the  keyhole. 

'"  Front,  eh?"  said  Flick.  "  And  who  in  the  world  is 
Front?  I  don't  know  any  such  person. 

"  Why,  I'm  Front,  one  of  the  hotel  hall  boys." 

'•Oh!  Well,  what  is  wanted  of  me,  eh?  "  said  Flick 
through  the  keyhole* 

*'  Mr.  Bluffington  says  you  must  come  to  his  room,  you 
old  duffer." 

uTell  Mr.  Bluffington  to  go  to  blazes!  Do  you  hear, 
you  discarded  piece  of  chewing-gum? i; 

"  Rats!  "  said  the  squeaky  voice  through  the  keyhole, 
and  his  receding  fcot- steps  could  be  heard  distinctly. 

"The  idea,"  said  Flick,  u  of  that  miserable  old  swind 
ling  Bluffington  sending  after  me  as  if  I  was  a  common 
lackey  ;  the  old  bung-starter  ;  why  T  now  have  wealth 
enough  to  buy  and  sell  him  twenty  times  over.  Although 
I  have  not  as  yet  counted  the  money  in  that  wallet,  I 
am  sure  there  must  be  a  fortune  in  it.  Let  me  see/'  he 
soliloquized,  4il  wi-ll  certainly  want  an  elegant  team, 
wagon,  harness,  and  other  incidentals  ;  then  I  shall  re 
quire  a  closed  freight  car  to  carry  them,  and  that  will 
necessitate  a  groom,  A  man  with  my  means  should  not, 
however,  depend  on  the  misery  of  hiring  at  each  stop 
ping  place  a  freight  car,  and  putting  up  with  any  old 
rattle-box  the  railway  people  may  have  on  hand  ;  but  how 
to  overcome  this  ?  I  have  it,  by  jove  !  I  will  have  a  special 


148  BLOBS  ON  *S      DIRE      MISHAPS. 

car  built  with  modern  improvements  to  convey  my  rig 
in  proper  style.  Now  that  reminds  me,"  he  continued  ; 
"why  should  I  not  have  a  coach  of  my  own  as  well  as 
the  horses  ?  Not  a  bad  idea,  Flick,  eh  ?" 

"  Yes,  I'll  order  two  coaches,  one  for  my  stock  and  one 
for  my  own  personal  use.  The  stock  car  will  be  painted 
in  bright  red  and  blue  trimmings,  with  the  letters  on 
each  side,  '  Flick's  private  stock  car.'  My  private  coach 
will  be  painted  in  green  and  gold,  and  trimmed  with 
the  most  expensive  shades  of  red,  green,  orange,  purple 
and  pink.  The  interior  will  be  fitted  up  with  hot  and 
ice  water  boilers  and  condensers,  so  that  I  can  bathe  in 
two  different  temperatures  when  desired.  A  parlor  will 
occupy  one-third  of  the  coach,  a  buffet  another  third, 
a  billiard  room  a  third  more,  a  dining  room  with  bath 
room  another  third,  while  the  balance  of  the  car  will, 
well,  yes,  be  used  for  receptions  or  anything  I  may  think 
proper.  The  lettering  on  the  outside  will  be  *  Flick's 
private  palace  on  wheels.'  "  This,"  said  he,  "  will  make 
barn-storming  managers  and  actors  turn  red,  white  and 
blue  with  rage." 

Putting  his  hand  in  his  pocket  he  brought  forth  the 
<c  Aladdin  "  wallet,  opened  it,  tumbled  its  contents  on 
the  table,  and  when  he  discovered  only  green  shaded 
paper,  and  of  no  value,  he  swooned  and  fell  to  the  floor. 
He  recovered  shortly  afterwards  to  find  his  castle  build 
ing  useless,  and  that  he  had  been  swindled  out  of  fifty 
dollars  by  a  poor  but  handsome-faced  girl,  and  would 
probably  lose  his  position  for  the  abuse  of  his  mana 
ger.  Happily,  however,  the  remarks  he  made  to  the 
hall  boy  were  not  carried  to  Bluffington,  and  he  escaped 
dismissal.  Pushing  aside  the  bureau  which  he  had  pre 
viously  placed  against  the  door,  he  sauntered  out  to  get 
the  air  and  a  nervine  (that  is  what  it  is  called  in  Detroit). 


BLOBSON'S    DIRE    MISHAPS.  149 

He  met  Bluffington  who  informed  him  the  Company 
must  start  that  night  for  Chicago,  going  by  way  of  the 
Chicago  and  Grand  Trunk  to  that  city,  and  thence  by 
the  Chicago,  Rock  Island  and  Pacific  Railway  Company 
westward. 

Arriving  in  Chicago  in  proper  time,  there  was  no  de 
lay  in  reaching  the  depot  of  the  Chicago,  Rock  Island, 
and  Pacific  Railway,  and  fortunately  it  was  the  light 
ning  express  which  was  to  convey  the  Company  as  far 
west  as  the  business  would  warrant.  The  route  as  laid 
out  over  this  line  was  that  Joliet  would  be  the  first  stop, 
the  next  Bureau,  then  down  to  Peoria,  and  up  to  Rock 
Island,  then  Washington,  Eldon,  Altemonta,  Cameron 
and  Kansas  City.  This  is  a  very  handsome  and  prom 
ising  place,  and  one  which  will  always  repay  a  good 
company  for  the  time  spent  there.  After  a  week  there 
the  Company  moved  on  to  Topeka,  then  around  to  St. 
Joseph,  Atchison,  and  Leavenworth,  where  they  appeared 
at  each  place  to  moderately  fine  houses.  A  long  jump 
brought  the  Company  to  Davenport,  183  miles  from 
Chicago,  thence  to  West  Liberty,  Grinnell  and  Des 
Moines,  the  latter  a  city  of  wealth  and  importance. 
From  this  point  to  Minneapolis  no  stop  was  made  and 
the  city  was  reached  before  dark.  Nothing  could  be  done 
in  this  place  till  Monday  morning  unless  to  go  out  the 
next  day,  Sunday,  and  view  the  town  ;  and  a  splendid 
place  it  was.  Mills,  factories,  handsome  churches  and 
elegant  residences  were  found  on  every  hand.  One 
week  was  the  time  agreed  upon  to  remain,  and  the  bus 
iness  was  satisfactory  to  both  Bluffington  and  his  busi 
ness  manager,  Flick.  After  a  week  in  St.  Paul  the  Com 
pany  was  turned  back  towards  Chicago,  playing  in 
neaily  every  town  of  note  on  the  way.  Every  member 
seemed  to  feel  pleased  not  alone  by  the  trip  but  as  well 


150  BLOBSONS      DIRE      MISHAPS. 

by  the  care  and  attention  shown  them  by  the  officials 
along  the  line.  Nothing  humorous  occurred  of  any  im 
portance  during  the  entire  trip  until  leaving  Rock 
Island,  a  lady  with  a  young  child  about  thirteen  months 
old  was  an  occupant  of  the  same  seat  with  Blobson,  and 
when  the  train  stopped  the  lady  asked  him  if  he  would 
do  her  the  favor  to  hold  the  dear  child  while  she  went 
into  the  station-room.  Blobson  was  only  too  pleased  to 
accommodate  so  handsome  a  lady,  the  mother  of  such  a 
dear  baby.  The  train  remained  at  the  station  some 
time,  but  the  lady  not  making  her  appearance  made 
Blobsom  feel  uneasy,  and  when  the  train  started  off 
slowly  but  surely  he  was  horrow-stricken  at  seeing  the 
supposed  mother  of  the  baby  coming  to  the  doorway  of 
the  station  kissing  her  hand  to  him  and  waving  him 
adieus. 

Poor  Blobson's  feelings  could  be  better  imagined  than 
described.  The  train  had  gotten  under  full  headway 
before  he  could  really  grasp  the  true  condition  of  affairs, 
and  was  nearly  ten  miles  distant  from  the  station.  What 
to  do  he  did  not  know.  Acting  from  the  impulse  of  the 
moment  he  reached  up,  seized  the  bell  cord,  and  brought 
the  train  to  such  a  sudden  stop  as  nearly  to  derail  it. 
The  conductor  and  all  hands  were  soon  in  the  coach 
inquiring  the  cause  of  the  trouble,  when  Blobson  ex 
plained  that  the  mother  of  the  baby  he  held  was  left  at 
the  last  station  and  they  must  go  back  for  her. 

"Nonsense,  my  friend,'1  said  he,  "she  was  not  the 
mother,  she  was  only  the  keeper  of  a  lying-in  asylum, 
who  came  out  from  Chicago  to  do  business.  No  person 
will  ever  ask  you  again  for  that  baby.'' 

A  lady  just  one  seat  back  of  Blobson  inquired  if  he 
would  have  any  objections  to  giving  her  the  baby.  If 


he  would  not,  she  would  be  pleased  to  take  it  home 
and  bring  it  up  as  her  own. 

To  this  request  Blobson  quickly  consented  and  turned 
over  the  property  without  a  murmur,  and  yet  a  close 
observer  would  a  few  moments  afterwards  recognize  a 
lonely  tear  trickling  down  his  cheek.  In  silence  he  left 
the  train  when  it  reached  Chicago  and  followed  the  com 
pany  to  the  depot  of  the  Chicago  and  Northwestern 
Railway,  corner  of  Wells  and  Kinzee  streets,  when 
Flick  was  asked  by  the  members  of  the  company  as  to 
what  point  they  would  make  their  first  stop. 

"  Stop  !  "  said  he,  "  why  our  first  stop  will  be  at  San 
Francisco,  and  we  will  then  work  our  way  back  to  New 
York  over  the  C.  N.  W.  and  Union  Pacific." 

"What  !   walk?"  said  the  leading  man. 

"Walk,  no  sir,"  said  Flick,  ''not  while  there  is  a  rail 
fastened  to  the  ground  or  a  train  of  cars  not  in  use,  sir. 
The  '  Never  Get  Left  Dramatic  Company  '  will  maintain 
its  dignity  even  if  it  has  to  return  by  a  freight  or  a  hand 
car,  but  it  will  never  walk.  That  part  of  the  business, 
sir,  we  will  leave  to  barnstormers." 

Flick  was  at  this  moment  called  away  by  Bluffington, 
who  gave  orders  to  have  the  company  secure  their  seats 
as  they  had  only  fifteen  minutes  before  the  train  started. 
Flick  announced,  after  his  return,  the  orders  of  his  chief, 
and  without  wasting  any  time  they  were  soon  comforta 
bly  seated.  The  train  started  precisely  on  the  minute, 
and  after  arun  of  490  mileswest  of  Chicago,  they  reached 
Council  Bluffs.  At  Granger,  1368  miles  from  Chicago, 
the  train  took  the  Southern  Branch  of  the  Union  Pacific, 
passing  Ogden,  1527  miles  from  Chicago,  and  going 
west  by  south  till  reaching  San  Francisco.  There  the 
company,  after  a  long  but  exceedingly  pleasant  journey 
over  the  line,  made  hasty  preparations  to  get  to  the 


152  BLOBSON'S    DIRE    MISHAPS. 

hotel  and  indulge  themselves  to  their  hearts'  content. 
San  Francisco,  instead  of  lacking  for  amusements,  as 
Bluffington  supposed,  and  as  Flick  was  equally  as  posi 
tive  of,  was  actually  overrun  with  that  commodity.  Here 
was  a  dilemma  ;  3000  miles  away  from  New  York  and 
not  sufficient  funds  left  to  pay  the  necessary  expenses 
for  the  return  of  the  company.  After  the  company  was 
carefully  housed,  Bluffington  and  Flick  went  into  the 
manager's  room  to  hold,  as  it  were,  a  council  of  war. 
Plans  were  put  forth  by  each,  but  after  dissecting  them 
they  were  as  quickly  abandoned  as  not  being  practical. 
When  all  hope  of  safety  was  nearly  abandoned,  a  knock 
came  to  the  door,  and  when  it  was  opened  by  Flick,  Mr. 
Anderson  entered  with  a  stranger,  who  was  afterwards 
introduced  as  Herr  Robinson,  the  owner  of  a  menagerie 
and  a  guest  of  the  hotel. 

Bluffington  offered  both  Anderson  and  Robinson 
chairs,  and  asked  in  what  wray  he  could  be  of  any  as 
sistance  to  him. 

"Well,  sir/'  said  Robinson,  "I  discovered  your  arri 
val  in  town  by  looking  over  the  hotel  register,  and  con 
cluded  to  seek  you  out,  and  make  a  proposition — a  bus 
iness  one." 

"  You  have  come  to  the  proper  person,  I  can  assure 
you;  pray  proceed,  sir." 

"  Well,  sir,  I  will  say  to  you  frankly  and  briefly,  I 
started  out  from  New  York  with  an  excellent  menagerie, 
circus  and  side  show,  and  what  with  hard  times,  bad 
luck,  I  have  now  left  of  my  big  show,  two  elephants,  one 
mule  and  one  monkey.  I  did  intend  giving  a  dime  mu 
seum  show  of  my  menagerie  here,  but  if  you  can  see 
your  way  clear  to  go  in  with  me,  I  will  give,  with  the 
assistance  of  your  company,  an  entertainment  that  will 
attract  the  town." 


BLOBSON    S      DIRE      MISHAPS.  153 

"  What  will  be  the  style  of  your  entertainment,"  said 
Bluffington,  "and  where  would  you  give  it  ?" 

"The  style  of  the  entertainment  would  be  the  well 
known  spectacular  play  of  the  °  Elephant  of  Siam,' 
and  I  would  hold  it  in  the  Rink." 

"The  piece  I  well  know,  and  with  your  elephants  it 
would,  I  am  sure,  draw  well.  But  what  sort  of  a  place 
is  this  Rink  you  speak  of?  Is  there  any  scenery  in  it  ?" 

"  There  is  no  scenery,  but  a  friend  of  mine  has  all  that 
would  be  required.  The  building  will  hold  about  4000 
people  at  one  time,  and  if  you  are  agreeable  I  will  join 
my  forces  with  yours,  and  divide  equally,  share  and 
share  alike." 

"  You  are  certainly  very  kind  and  frank,  and  were  it 
not  for  one  thing  I  would  gladly  join  you  in  the  enter 
prise,"  said  Bluffington. 

"  And  that  one  thing  is  ?" 

"  Lack  of  funds,"  said  Bluffington. 

"  My  friend,"  said  Robinson,  "  I  am  in  the  same  boat." 

•''  Then  how  can  you  possibly  see  your  way  clear  to 
giving  a  performance?" 

'If  you  will  agree  to  join  with  me  I  will  guarantee 
you  the  performance  will  be  given,  and  you  will  not  be 
called  on  for  a  penny  till  after  the  curtain  falls  on  the 
first  night." 

"  Well,  sir,  I  admire  your  way  of  doing  business,  and 
if  my  business  manager  thinks  as  well  of  it  as  I  do,  lam 
with  you.  What  do  you  say,  Mr.  Flick  ?  " 

"  I  will  say,  gentlemen,  I  think  the  s  oner  you  close 
the  bargain,  the  better." 

'*  Mr.  Robinson,  there  is  rny  hand  ;  now,  sir,  as  you  are 
the  originator  of  the  enterprise,  lead  the  way  and  I  will 
follow." 


154  BLOBSON'S    DIRE    MISHAPS. 

"  All  right,  sir  ;  will  you  assist  me,  Mr.  Flick,  in  the 
management  ? " 

'•  Why  certainly,  sir  ;  I  am  at  your  service  ;  when  shall 
we  start  out  ?  " 

"  At  once."  And  after  bidding  Bluffington  good-day, 
they  started  off  in  the  direction  of  a  money-lender  where 
'Robinson  arranged  for  a  loan  of  $500  secured  by  a 
chattel  mortgage  on  his  two  elephants. 

In  a  week'  from  that  day  the  doors  of  the  rink  were 
open,  and  for  four  weeks  the  house  was  crowded,  and  at 
the  end  of  that  period  Bluffington  and  Robinson  divid 
ed  some  $14,000  above  all  liabilities.  Bluffington  would 
have  remained  with  his  company  longer,  but  he  was 
obliged  to  return  East. 

Three  days  after  the  close  he  with  his  company  were 
enjoying  the  comforts  of  a  separate  drawing-room  coach 
on  the  Union  Pacific  Railway  running  at  an  average 
speed  of  40  miles  per  hour  It  was  the  intention  of  the 
manager  to  stop  at  the  large  towns,  and  there  are  many 
of  them,  but  the  telegram  he  received  while  in  San 
Francisco  would  not  permit  it.  Arriving  safely  and 
speedily  at  Council  Bluffs,  and  without  any  delay  the 
company  was  soon  speeding  away  over  the  Chicago  and 
Northwestern  Railway  at,  it  would  seem,  a  more  rapid 
pace  than  formerly.  Although  490  miles  west  of  Chica 
go  the  run  was  made  in  less  than  twenty  hours.  Once 
in  that  city  tickets  were  secured  over  the  Pennsylvania 
Railway. 


CHAPTER  XX. 


OVER     THE     PENNSYLVANIA     RAILROAD — THE      TWO      MYSTE 
RIOUS     OCCUPANTS     OF      A     SLEEPER THE     GERMAN     IN 

THE      SLEEPER  —  THE      NEGRO      PORTER       IN      THE 

SLEEPER  ANDERSON,     THE     VENTRILOQUIST, 

IN      THE     SLEEPER  — HOW     IT     ALL     ENDED 
IN    THE    SLEEPER. 

[ITHOUT    delay   the    train    started    on    time. 
With   almost  lightning    rapidity    it     passed 
towns,  cities  and  villages,  leaving  far  behind 
in   the  wake   only  the  smoke  of  the   engine 
and    the  echoes  of  the  steam   whistle.     Anderson,   the 
ventriloquist,   instead  of  sleeping  in  the  coach   allotted 
to  the  company   found  his  way  into    the  forward  one, 
and   took   a  seat   in   an   unoccupied   section,    where    he 
could  better  enjoy  his  own  company,  get  a  good  view  of 
the   interior,  and   note  the  condition   of  things.     As  it 
was  nearly  midnight  and  the  rest  of  the  passengers  were 
asleep  or  wishing  they  were,  Anderson   discovered   that 
the  section  opposite,  although  the  curtains  were  drawn, 
was  empty, 

"  Now/'  said  Anderson,  "  as  I  cannot  sleep  I  will  have 
some  amusement.  ' 

In  section  10  a  German  was  snoring  so  loud,  a  listener 
would  suppose  the  occupant  was  sawing  short  strips  of 
boards   with   a    buzz    saw  and   occasionally  striking   a 
knot 
11 


156  BLOBSON'S    DIRE    MISHAPS. 

Anderson  threw  his  voice  as  if  coming  from  No.  10 
calling  the  porter. 

The  porter,  who  was  engaged  in  polishing  shoes, 
stopped  his  work  and  tripped  lightly  to  section  10. 

"Did  you  call  me,  sah."  (No  answer  came  from  the 
German.) 

"  I  begs  youa  pardon,  sah.     Did  you  call  me  ?" 

The  only  reply  was  a  snore. 

"  Well,  I  hope  I  may  soon  get  a  half  dollah  if  dat 
German  don't  call  people  in  his  sleep  and  den  forgots 
all  about  it.  I'll  jess  watch  him  en  ef  he  calls  me  agin 
I'll  bet  I  wakes  him  up." 

Just  as  the  porter  resumed  his  work  Anderson  threw 
his  voice  from  section  TO,  calling  louder  than  before  for 
his  assistance.  The  voice  sounded  as  if  the  German  was 
being  strangled. 

Away  the  porter  ran,  considerably  frightened  by  the 
strangling  sounds,  and.  without  stopping  to  cail  the 
German,  in  his  excitement  let  the  blacking  brush  come 
down  full  force  on  the  German's  stomach,  bending  him 
up  to  a  sitting  posture,  spluttering  and  blowing  like  a 
new  convert  after  his  first  backward  dip  in  cold  water. 

"  Hello,  who  vos  dot  ?     Vot's  de  matter,  eh  ?  " 

"Why  sah,  its  me,  de  poter," 

"  Who  you  vos  ?  " 

"  I'm  de  poter,  sah." 

"  You  vos  dot  porter,  eh.  Veil,  vot  you  gif  me  dot 
club  on  my  stumjic  for.  You  tink  1  vos  a  aem  Yenkee 
Dudles  sun  of  a  gun  dot  you  cud  make  foolishness  mit 
me  like  dot?" 

In  his  great  excitement,  he,  swinging  his  arms  in  all 
directions,  lost  his  balance,  and  brought  down  wuh  him 
200  pounds  of  good  German  flesh  into  the  section  be 
neath. 


BLOBSON'S    DIRE    MISHAPS.  157 

The  colored  porter  seeing  the  movement,  and  sup 
posing  the  German  was  making  a  rush  for  him,  never 
stopped  running  till  he  arrived  in  the  baggage  car. 

The  German  finally  clambered  back  into  his  berth, 
and  in  a  few  moments  was  soon  again  snoring,  starting 
in  on  "  The  Watch  on  the  Rhine,"  with  double  bass 
accompaniment. 

At  first  the  movement  was  very  slow,  uncertain,  and 
in  an  extended  style.  Then  he  «truck  a  "larghetto," 
then  came  an  "andante"  movement;  this  was  followed 
by  an  "allegro  "  movement,  then  skipping  six  bars  and 
going  into  the  quickest  movement,  "  prestissimo,"  his 
bed  fairly  danced  under  him  by  his  rapid  snoring. 
This  was  continued  until  he  was  nearly  shaken  to 
pieces.  His  wind  held  out  till  he  struck  a  fortissimo 
movement,  and  then  he  commenced  throwing  out  dis 
cordant  snores,  ending  in  a  powerful  crescendo  move 
ment,  which  awoke  him,  looking  horror  struck,  really 
not  knowing  what  had  caused  the  sudden  crash  he  sup 
posed  he  heard.  He  saw  the  conductor  pass,  and  in  the 
semi-darkness  supposed  it  was  the  porter  at  his  former 
tricks. 

"  Ya,"  said  he,  "dots  it,  it  vos  dot  black  fellar  who  hit 
me,  now  vas  two  times  mit  his  club  ven  I  vas  schleep. 
Veil,  now  I  vas  goin'  to  vatch  dot  black  sun  of  a  gun, 
und  if  he  vakes  me  up  like  dot  vunce  anodder  time,  by 
shimminy  vippity  I  vill  know  who  vos  the  keendoctur  of 
dis  reelroad." 

Sleep  soon  overcame  him  and  he  was  soon  snoring 
"  Watch  on  de  Rhine." 

Section  n  was  empty  and  opposite  Anderson.  The 
curtains  were  down,  and  after  quiet  was  restored  and 
the  porter  returned,  Anderson  concluded  before  they 


158  BLOBSON'S    DIRE    MISHAPS. 

reached  Pittsburg  he  would  try  his  ventriloquial  powers 
on  section  n  between  man  and  wife. 

"  Yes,"  said  the  supposed  lady  in  No.  n,  "  you  thought 
you  were  extremely  clever  this  morning  in  skipping  out 
of  the  hotel  under  the  pretext  that  you  were  only  going 
to  the  corner  to  mail  a  letter,  and  then  stay  out  all  day, 
leaving  me  to  be  insulted  by  every  jackanapes  in  the 
house." 

"  But,  my  dear,"  said  the  supposed  husband,  "  no  per 
son  insulted  you." 

"  Insult  me  !  I  guess  not.  I'd  only  like  to  see  any 
one  with  nerve  enough  to  insult  me.  You  can  go  out 
and  visit  here  and  there  and  everywhere,  and  when  you 
do  return  you  feel  weary  and  tired  out,  and  your  head 
aches  so  bad,  and  your  breath  smells  so  horrid  of,  as 
you  call  it,  mince  pie — a  new  name  for  whiskey — that 
you  must  go  to  bed  immediately." 

"  Where  would  you  have  me  go,  into  the  street  to 
sleep?" 

"Sleep  where  you  got  all  your  mince  pie." 

"Well,  I  will  next  time." 

"You  will,  eh?  Well,  this  is  adding  insult  to  injury. 
Stay  out,  eh,  will  you  ?  Well,  you  just  let  me  catch  you 
at  it." 

"  Well,  now;  for  heaven's  sake  do  let  me  go  to  sleep  ! '' 

"  Sleep!  Sleep'  Sleep!  (The  last  sounded  very  much 
like  a  scream  )  You're  a  nice  man  to  talk  about  sleep." 

"Well,  if  you  will  not  let  me  sleep,  do  let  the  other 
passengers  sleep." 

<k  What  have  I  to  do  with  the  other  passengers'  sleep 
ing  ?  Why  don't  they  sleep?  I  am  sure  I  don't  want 
them  to  go  without  their  sleep.  I  won't  stop  them." 

"  But  you  are  preventing  them  by  jawing  at  me." 

"Jawing'     Jawing!     You    call    my  mild   and  gentle 


BLOB  SON'S      DIRE      MISHAPS.  159 

allusions  to  your  treatment  of  me  jawing,  do  you  ? 
That's  it,  insult  me.  You  know  I'm  alone  and  unpro 
tected,  or  you  would  not  dare  do  it.  No,  sir;  if  my  big 
brother  Jim  was  here  he  would  make  you  feel  as  if  you 
had  been  fooling  with  the  business  end  of  an  electric 
light  wire." 

'•  I  only  wish  for  your  sake  that  big  brother  was  here. 
I'd  make  him  think  he  had  got  fastened  on  to  the  busi. 
ness  ends  of  a  dozen  electric  light  wires,"  said  he. 

'*  Oh,  you  cruel  wretch;  you,  that  I  loved  and  wor 
shiped  at  one  time,  to  entertain  such  horrible  thoughts 
against  my  poor,  innocent  little  brother.  Well,  that's 
like  your  sex;  pretend  love  in  words  and  are  actual  mur_ 
derers  at  heart.  No,  no;  I  cannot  love  you  again;  you 
have  cut  in  twain  the  last  piece  of  rope  that  bound  me 
to  you.  (Great  sobbing  by  a  woman  is  heard  in  section 
ii.)  Oh,  Georgie,  Georgie  !  How  could  you,  years 
ago,  go  and  steal  my  young  and  tender  heart,  and  now 
break  it  in  pieces  like  a  second-hand  pane  of  window 
glass.  Oh,  oh,  oh  !" 

The  passengers  by  this  time  were  nearly  all  awake  and 
peeping  through  the  curtains  and  anxiously  listening  to 
every  word  Some  were  for  putting  the  ugly  brute  of  a 
husband  off  the  train,  while  the  male  portion  sympa 
thized  with  him  for  having  such  an  unbearable  shrew  of 
a  wife.  Every  passenger  in  the  sleeper  became  inter 
ested  in  the  scene,  the  males  sympathizing  with  the  hus 
band,  and  the  ladies  with,  as  they  exclaimed,  the  poor 
abused  wife.  The  conductor  was  called  for  from  a  half 
dozen  berths  to  stop  the  row  in  No.  n,  and  he  finally 
instructed  the  porter  to  inform  No.  n  the  disturbance 
must  be  discontinued,  and  at  once,  or  they  would  be  put 
off  at  the  first  station.  The  porter  started  off  to  visit 
No.  n,  and  when  he  arrived  there  everything  was  as 


160  BLOBSON'S    DIRE    MISHAPS. 

quiet  as  possible.  Thinking  the  occupants  were  asleep 
at  last,  and  not  wishing  to  disobey  the  conductor's 
orders,  he  concluded  to  rouse  them  from  their  slumbers 
and  deliver  his  instructions.  Knocking  gently  on  sec 
tion  1 1,  but  meeting  with  no  response,  he  tapped  harder, 
till  he  awoke  the  German  in  No.  10,  who  had  just  fin 
ished  snoring  the  last  bar  of  "  Watch  on  the  Rhine." 
Looking  out  through  the  portieres  he  saw  the  porter 
knocking  at  section  u. 

"Veil,"  said  he,  "  if  dot  black  fellow  vosn't  trying  to 
play  some  tricks  mit  No.  ir.  I  vould  gif  a  five  cent 
Nicholas  piece  uff  No.  n  vould  shump  ouit  his  bet  und 
shase  him  up  der  railroad  tracks  for  a  kupple  miles.  Dot 
vould  been  fun.  Och,  mein  Gott  und  heimel,  dot  vould 
been  more  funny  as  netting  else.  Ha,  ha,  ha  !  " 

After  the  laughing  had  ceased  it  was  followed  by  a 
gentle  snort  and  series  of  prolonged  and  agonizing  snores 
from  the  German. 

"  Youse  da  in  nummer  eleben,  doan  you's  heah  me,  eh, 
what  ?  I  say, doan  you  heah  me?  "  (Knock  very  loudly, 
while  the  passengers  are  watching  through  the  por 
tieres  and  listening)  "I  say,  nummer  eleben,  ef  you's 
asleep,  dat's  all  rite;  but  ef  youse  isn't,  den  I  mus'  spoke 
wid  you.  Dus  you  heah  me  ?  " 

At  this  Anderson,  from  the  opposite  side,  threw  his 
voice  over  into  No.  u,  and  in  low,  gutteral  tones,  as  if 
coming  from  the  bowels  of  the  earth,  he  asked: 

"Who  is  there?" 

Although  the  porter  nearly  fainted  at  the  unearthly 
and  frigid  voice,  he  managed  to  stammer: 

"  It  is  me,  sah." 

"And  who  is  me,  sah,  eh  ?  " 

Trembling,  the  porter  answered: 

"  De  poter,  sah." 


BLOBSON'S    DIRE    MISHAPS.  161 

•'  Well,  sir,  what — do — you — want  ?  "  (In  deep,  tragic 
tones.) 

"  Well,  sah,  I'se  adwised  by  de  kunducta  to  'specialery 
'quest  you  bof  to  turn  ober  an'  go  to  sleep  like  'specttuble 
white  folks,  and  not  be  'sturbin'  de  res'  ob  de  pussons  on 
dis  yer  kyar." 

u  Well  you  leave  this  section,  or  I'll  blow  your  head 
off  with  a  keg  of  dynamite  ?" 

"  Good  Lord!  yes,  an'  I'm  gone,"  and  the  porter  dis 
appeared. 

The  passengers  hearing  this  became  excited  and  made 
no  delay  in  finding  their  way  silently  to  the  rear  end  of 
the  sleeper,  where  they  met  the  conductor,  who  was  ap 
pealed  to  by  both  males  and  females  to  put  the  occu 
pants  of  No.  ii  off  at  the  first  station.  This  he  at  first 
declined  to  do,  as  the  occupants  paid  their  fare;  but,  on 
second  thought,  he  saw  his  mistake,  and  willingly  ac 
ceded  to  the  request. 

"  Has  any  gentleman  here  a  revolver  I  can  borrow  for 
a  few  moments?  The  chap  in  No.  11  may  be  pretty 
ugly  when  I  call  upon  him  to  turn  out,  and  I  may  need 
it." 

During  this  conversation  between  conductor  and  pas 
sengers,  Anderson  slipped  into  No.  n,  opened  the 
windows  and  left  the  bedding  in  a  disordered  state. 
After  reaching  his  own  section  dreadful  and  piercing 
screams  were  heard  coming  from  section  11,  followed  by 
loud  angry  words  and  maniacal  laughter.  '  This  brought 
all  the  passengers  to  No.  n.  The  conductor  took  the 
lead,  threw  the  portieres  aside,  determined  to  capture 
the  villain  at  any  hazard;  but,  lo  and  behold,  the  sec 
tion  was  empty,  the  windows  were  open,  but  where  were 
the  occupants?  Every  nook  and  corner  of  No.  11  was 
searched  from  end  to  end,  but  the  occupants  could  not 


1 62  BLOBSON'S    DIRE    MISHAPS. 

be  found,  and  until  the  train  rolled  into  Pittsburg  was  it 
kept  up,  but  it  proved  useless.  When  the  conductor 
was  asked  for  an  explanation  he  said  he  was  satisfied  the 
occupants  in  No.  n  got  to  quarreling,  and  the  husband, 
in  his  excitement,  killed  the  wife,  pushed  her  out  on  the 
track  and,  possibly,  slipped  out  the  same  window  and 
was  killed  by  a  passing  train. 

After  leaving  Pittsburg,  nothing  worthy  of  mention 
occurred,  and  in  due  season  the  company  arrived  in  New 
York,  where  it  was  obliged  to  remain  for  three  days  pre 
paratory  to  going  South.  Anderson,  wishing  to  improve 
his  short  stay,  concluded  to  go  with  a  friend  to  an  ama 
teur  entertainment;  all  of  which  will  be  found  here  as 
presented  on  the  night  in  question. 


CHAPTER   XXI. 


ANDERSON,    THE     VENTRILOQUIST,     ATTENDS     AN     AMATEUR 

PERFORMANCE      OF      "  RICHARD      III."  THE      OPENING 

WAS     DOUBTFUL,     BUT     THE     CLOSE     OF     THE     PER 
FORMANCE      WAS     NOT — THE     AUDIENCE     AND 
ACTORS     GET      BADLY      MIXED  —  POLICE  ! 

POLICE  !  CONTINUATION      OF      THE 

LAST       ACT       AT       THE        POLICE 
COURT. 

IHILE  the  company  had  to  lie  over  in  New 
York  for  a  few  days.,  preparatory  to  an  en 
gagement  in  another  town,  Anderson  re 
ceived,  through  a  friend,  a  ticket  for  a  per 
formance  to  be  given  by  the  *•  Booth  Dramatic  Associa 
tion  "  at  Brooks's  Academy  in  Broome  street,  near 
Centre  Market,  and  "  Richard  III/'  was  up  for  presenta 
tion.  Anderson  arrived  in  proper  time.  Solon  Scrubbs, 
an  amateur,  was  to  be  the  star  of  the  night,  essaying  the 
part  of  the  humpback  tyrant.  His  opponent,  the  ''Rich 
mond,"  was  a  Mr.  Nubbles,  a  grocer's  clerk.  Scrubbs 
was  in  height  about  four  feet  nine  inches,  carroty  hair, 
with  the  trade  mark  of  a  small-pox  hospitafall  over  his 
face,  and  a  voice  equal  to  the  depth  and  intensity  of  a 
boiler  shop  in  full  blast. 

Nubbles   was    in   height  full  six  feet,  looking  for  all 
the  world  like  one  of  the  prize  patients  of  a  consumptive 


164  BLOBSON'S    DIRE    MISHAPS. 

institute,  and  with  a  voice  as  weak  as  a  three-year-old 
sickly  child.  And  yet  Mr.  Nubbles  felt  and  so  expressed 
it  "  he  was  to  be  m  urne  a  grand  actor.  Even  now"  he 
further  observed,  'it  is  my  ability  that  compels  our  asso 
ciation  to  insist  upon  my  playing  Richmond,'  although 
1  protested  against  it." 

The  fact  is,  as  one  of  the  members  of  the  association 
said  subsequently,  Nubbles  paid  the  secretary  $2.50  for 
the  privilege. 

The  balance  of  the  cast  was  in  keeping  with  the  two 
gentlemen  already  mentioned.  The  hall  was  packed 
with  the  friends  and  enemies  of  the  Booth  Association. 
The  enemies  were  the  members  of  the  Garrick  Club 
from  Dramatic  Hall,  in  Houston  street,  near  Broadway. 

In  consequence  of  the  curtain  not  rising  within  a  half 
hour  of  the  appointed  time,  a  great  hubbub  and  excite 
ment  was  created,  evidently  by  the  "Garricks." 

The  wait  was  caused  by  Scrubbs  persisting  in  wear 
ing  the  '  throne  "  cloth  instead  of  a  cloak,  always  used 
as  he  stated,  by  "  Richard/'  His  reasons  were  the  cloth 
was  rich  and  striking  in  appearance,  while  the  cloak  was 
just  the  opposite,  and  no  amount  of  reasoning  could  re 
move  from  his  shallow  brain  that  he  was  not  right. 

The  costumer  of  the  evening,  who  was  the  only  one 
present  knowing  how  the  part  should  be  dressed,  finally 
acquiesced. 

Nubbles  was  the  next  one  to  attract  the  attention  of 
"the  costumer  by  his  dress.  He  claimed  that  black  stock 
ings  with  red  stripes,  a  black  "  Hamlet "  dress  and  a 
helmet  should  be  worn  by  "Richmond."  "For,"  as  he  put 
it,  '•  isn't  4  Richmond  '  a  soldier?  Is  he  not  to  fight  a  duel 
with  'Richard  '  to  the  d-e-a-t-h?" 

The  costumer  saw  no  chance  of  the  piece  ever  being 
played  if  the  argument  continued,  so  hurried  off  his 


assistant  with  orders  to  bring  back  a  wagon  load  of 
costumes  representing  all  nations. 

Off  he  went  and  returned  again  as  quickly  as  possi 
ble,  and  requested  the  club  to  make  their  own  selections, 
and  they  did.  Each  one  picked  out  what  best  suited 
his  or  her  own  fancy,  and  when  ready  to  appear  a  more 
incongruous  set  was  never  seen.  Costumes  from 
'•'  Othello,"  mixed  with  the  "Taming  of  the  Shrew," 
*'  Midsummer  Night's  Dream,"  "Julius  Caesar,"  "  Romeo 
and  Juliet,'  "The  Merry  Wives  of  Windsor,"  and  several 
others,  were  donned  by  the  amateur  actors. 

Well,  the  curtain  went  up  at  last,  and  "  Richard " 
walked  on  with  the  throne  cloth  covering  him  from  head 
to  foot.  His  appearance  produced  the  most  uproarious 
applause  and  derisive  laughter.  This  Scrubbs  accepted 
as  an  ovation  and  bowed  his  thanks;  when  he  com 
menced  his  lines,  "  Now  is  the  winter  of  our  discontent 
made  glorious  summer  by  this  sun  of  York,  and  all  the 
clouds  that  lowered  upon  our  house,  are  in  the  deep 
bosom  of  the  ocean  buried." 

Scrubbs,  in  trying  to  continue  in  his  lines,  forgot  him 
self  and  his  audience  commenced  to  titter.  *'  Go  and  get 
the  book,  old  man,  and  see  where  you  are,"  said  one. 

"  Come  out  from  under  that  awning  (meaning  the 
throne  cloth)  and  let's  have  a  good  look  at  you,"  said 
another;  all  of  which  did  not  tend  to  quiet  Scrubbs' 
nerves  or  assist  him  in  his  lines.  "  He  capers  nimbly  in 
a  lady's  chamber,"  said  one  of  the  Garrick  Club.  "  I 
that  am  rudely  stamped,"  prompted  another  of  the  aud 
itors.  "  Have  no  delight  to  pass  away  my  hours,"  carne 
from  another  part  of  the  house.  "I  am  determined  to 
prove  a  villain,"  said  another,  "  By  drunken  prophesies, 
libels  and  dreams."  So  much  prompting,  and  from  so 
many  different  parts  of  the  house  only  added  to  Scrubbs' 


166  BLOBSON'S    DIRE    MISHAPS. 

misery,  and  he  soon  became  a  hopeless  imbecile,  entire 
ly  oblivious  to  his  surroundings.  Stage-fright  had  taken 
possession  of  him,  and  he  was  obliged  to  be  led  off  the 
stage.  Nubbles  claimed  he  would  like  to  have  any  of 
the  audience  insult  him,  when  he  came  on  in  his  scene. 
Just  then  an  apple  struck  Nubbles  on  the  back  of  the 
head,  and  the  curtain  fell,  shutting  him  from  the  aud 
ience. 

The  coarse,  not  to  say  outrageous,  treatment  offered 
Scrubbs  by  the  audience  caused  an  undue  excitement 
behind  the  scenes  ;  several  of  the  actors  expressed  the  de 
sire  to  go  out  and  fling  the  entire  "  Garrick  Club  "  down 
the  stairs.  Quiet  was,  however,  restored  at  least  for  tne 
time  being,  and  the  curtain  again  went  heavenward. 
At  the  opening.  Lady  Anne,  widow  of  Edward,  Prince  of 
Wales,  enters  attended  by  ladies  and  courtiers,  followed 
by  attendants  bearing  the  coffined  body  of  King  Henry 
the  VI.  Lady  Anne  in  this  scene  should  be  dressed  in 
deep  mourning,  instead  of  which  she  wore  on  her  head 
the  hat  of  a  shepherdess,  a  broad  leafed  one  of  straw, 
a  black  dress,  very  short  in  front,  showing  a  pair  of 
brown  slippers  with  pink  bows,  and  scarlet  stockings. 
When  Gloster  enters  and  orders  the  attendants  to  "  set 
down  the  corse,"  they  dropped  it  to  the  floor  so  sud 
denly  it  awoke  a  large  Newfoundland  dog  who  popped 
out  of  it  making  a  rush  for  an  entrance,  and  in  his  flight 
rushed  under  Lady  Anne's  skirts,  which  so  electrified 
her  that  she  leaped  up  in  the  air  and  fell  upon  the  stage 
in  violent  hysterics.  The  dog  succeeded,  however,  in 
getting  away,  but  the  curtain  had  to  be  lowered  owing 
to  the  excitement  caused  by  the  dog's  exit. 

The  audience  howled  at  this  unpleasant  denouement 
and  prepared  themselves  for  the  next  one  which  was  the 
appearance  of  Scrubbs  before  the  curtain. 


MISHAPS.  167 

"  Ladies  and  gentlemen,  I  wish  to  make  a  few  remarks 
before  the  curtain  rises  again.  In  the  last  scene  Lady 
Anne  met  with  a  slight  accident  caused  by  a  large  dog 
mistaking  her  for  a  gate,  and  throwing  her  into  hyster 
ics."  "Throwing  her  into  what?"  said  a  voice  in  the 
crowd.  "  Throwing  her  into  haystacks,"  said  Scrubbs. 
"  Hay  racks,  you  mean,"  said  another  voice.  Here 
Scrubbs  got  into  one  of  his  nervous  spelts,  and  com 
menced  to  stutter  and  splutter.  The  audience  com 
menced  to  howl,  and  Scrubbs'  anger  rose  as  the  howling 
increased  ;  at  last  he  offered  to  fight  the  whole  audience 
when  the  show  was  over,  and  darted  behind  the  curtain. 
As  it  was  really  necessary  the  audience  should  have  an 
intelligent  knowledge  of  how  affairs  were  getting  on  be 
hind  the  curtam;  Nubbles  took  the  liberty  of  coming  out 
to  explain  matters,  and  was  received  with  thunders  of 
applause,  to  which  he  bowed  his  acknowledgments. 
"Ladies  and  gentlemen,''  said  he,  "Lady  Anne  being 
too  ill  to  proceed,  we  will  close  the  night's  entertainment 
(with  beer  ?"  said  a  voice).  "  No,  sir,"  said  Nubbles,  some 
what  chagrined.  "Then  punch,1' said  another.  Mfyou 
will  come  round  on  the  back  of  the  stage,  I'll  give  you  all 
the  punching  you  want,"  said  Nubbles.  "Let  us  know 
what  you  are  going  to  do  with  Lady  Anne,"  said  another. 
"  We  are  going  to  bury  her,"  said  a  voice.  "  We  are 
going  to  cut  all  her  scenes  out  and  go  to  the  5th  act  of 
the  piece,"  replied  Nubbles.  "  Hadn't  you  better  give  us 
the  first  act  and  drown  the  5th  ?"  said  a  voice.  "  I  know 
who  you  are,  sir,"  said  Nubbles.  "  You  are  one  of  those 
miserable  'Garrick  Club'  spouters."  What  he  would 
have  further  stated  was  cut  short  by  an  untied  bag  filled 
with  flour  striking  him  full  in  the  face,  blinding  and 
choking  him.  This  caused  Nubbles  to  beat  a  hasty  re 
treat  behind  the  scenes. 


168  BLOBSON'S   DIRE   MISHAPS. 

Nubbles  after  his  retirement  was  soon  surrounded  by 
the  company  of  amateurs,  and  violent  was  their  wrath 
at  the  insults  showered  upon  them  by  the  "  Garricks." 
Blood  only  could  wipe  them  out.  Some  of  the  less  ex 
citable  ones  counseled  peace  for  the  present,  at  least. 
A  vote  was  taken,  and  it  was  decided  to  go  on  with 
the  play.  The  advice  was  acceptable  to  a  majority,  and 
the  curtain  was  again  raised,  but  the  reception  each 
actor  received  from  the  audience  was  certainly  trying. 
In  the  second  scene  of  the  5th  act,  where  Richmond  en 
ters  and  speaks,  "Thus  far  into  the  bowels  of  the  land 
have  we  marched  on  without  impediment,"  Nubbles 
lost  his  lines,  when  a  voice  in  the  audience  cried  out, 
"Go  for  the  prompter." 

BLUNT:  "  He  hath  no  friends  which  in  his  dearest 
need  but  will  fly  from  him." 

"  Bully  for  Blunt,"  said  a  voice.     (Blunt  bowed.) 

RICHMOND:  "True  hope  is  swift  ;  kings  it  makes  gods, 
and  meaner  creatures,  kings." 

Richmond  and  Army  start  to  march  off,  when  the  cry 
went  up  among  the  audience,  l(  Hay  foot,  straw  foot, 
hay  foot,  straw  foot,"  till  they  left  the  stage. 

From  the  second  scene  they  went  to  the  4th  where 
Richmond  rushes  on  crying  "Ahorse,  a  horse,  my  king 
dom  for  a  horse.  Slave,"  said  he,  '•  I  have  set  my  life  upon 
a  cast,  and  I  will  stand  the  hazard  of  the  die.  I  think 
there  be  six  Richmonds  in  the  field,  five  have  I  slain  to 
day  instead  of  him."  Richmond  rushes  in,  they  meet, 
and  cross  swords.  "  Look  out  Dick,  you'll  be  stabbed," 
from  the  auditorium;  "  Keep  your  eye  on  him,  Rich,  old 
man,"  said  another.  "  Time,"cried  a  third.  "  Now,  then, 
all  together," said  a  fourth  voice.  These  remarks  so  dis 
concerted  the  players,  that  while  one  was  striking  at  the 
right  of  his  opponent,  the  other  was  striking  at  the  left. 


169 

The  howling  and  yelling  of  the  audience,  and  the  firing 
at  the  combatants  of  apples,  potatoes  and  other  unsav 
ory  missiles  brought  the  actors  to  a  state  of  frenzy,  and 
the  whole  company  made  a  rush  off  the  stage  at  their 
tormentors  ;  at  this  the  police  rushed  in,  and  those  who 
did  not  escape  (Anderson  and  many  others  did)  were 
bundled  off  to  the  station  house  to  reflect  on  the  uncer 
tainty  of  the  rules  governing  Shakespearian  dramatic 
performances. 


CHAPTER  XXII. 


LEAVING     BY     THE      OLD     DOMINION      LINE ARRIVING      AT 

RICHMOND — THE     OLD     BATTLE-FIELDS  —  A     LONG     RUN 

OVER    THE    ATLANTIC    COAST     LINE    AND    BACK    TO 

WASHINGTON — BRIM     TELLS    ANOTHER    STORY. 

iVERYBODY  was  notified  after  breakfast  the 
next  day  to  be  in  readiness  to  leave  by  the 
Old  Dominion  line  of  steamers  at  3  P.  M.  from 
Pier  26, 'North  River.  This  order  was  put 
into  hasty  execution,  and  at  3  p.  M  the  company  was  on 
board,  and  by  night-time  passed  out  at  Sandy  Hook, 
leaving  the  Jersey  Shore  in  the  distance.  Everybody 
was  made  to  feel  at  home  on  the  ship,  and  every  atten 
tion  was  shown  the  passengers  by  the  officers  while  on 
board.  Blobsonand  his  side-partner,  Props,  joined  with 
the  company  and  a  number  of  the  passengers  in  offering 
a  vote  of  thanks  for  the  pleasure  they  enjoyed.  Although 
Blobson  had  a  continued  purplish  colored  skin,  as  if  he 
was  approaching  a  first-class  chill  or  receding  from  one, 
and  was  constantly  sucking  a  lemon  and  occasionally 
looking  over  the  side  of  the  ship,  with  the  color  of  his 
face  changing  from  purple  to  green  and  cream-white,  he 
was  enthusiastic  over  the  trip. 

After  the  arrival  at  Richmond,  Va.,  the  company  was 
obliged  to  lay  over  till  the  following  Monday,  and  how 
to  pass  away  the  time  was  the  question  asked  by  all. 
After  consulting  with  Flick  he  suggested  going  over  the 


BLOBSON'S    DIRE    MISHAPS.  171 

old  battlefields.  "This,"  he  said,  "  would  no  doubt  be 
of  interest."  (Pulling  out  a  small  book  from  his  pocket.) 
"  And  here  is  the  little  article  to  guide  us  in  our  journey. 
It  is,  as  you  observe,  entitled  '  A  Few  Facts,'  and  edited 
by  Mr.  R.  R.  Window,  a  well-known  writer  and  rail 
way  man.  Here,  you  see,  are  the  distances  along  the  coast 
from  New  York  to  Norfolk  from  government  surveys:" 

COAST-LINE  DISTANCES  FROM  NEW  YORK  TO  NORFOLK,  VA. 

Statute  Miles.  Statute  Miles. 

New  York  (Batt'y)  to  Nar-  Ftnwick's   Island  to  Winter 

rows 9  Quarter  Lightship 32 

The  Narrows  to  Sandy  Hook,   ir^  Winter  Quarter  Lightship  to 

Sandy  Hook  to  High  ands. .     8  Chiucoteague 9 

Highlands  to  Barnegat 42  Chincoteague  to  Hog  Island.  42 

Barnegat  to  Egg  Harbor 21  Hog  Island  to  Cape  Charles.  22 

Egg   Harbor  to  Absecom...    n£  Cape  Charles  to  Cape  Henry.   15 

Absecom   to   Northeast  End  Cape    Henry    to    Old  Point 

Lightship 29  Comfort 19 

Northeast  End  Lightship  to  Old    Point  Comfort  to  Nor- 

Delaware  Lightship....   loj  folk..., 15 

Delaware  Lightship  to  Fen- 
wick's  Island 33$  330 

Passengers  coming  North  read  upward. 

"  Not  a  bad  idea,  boys,  is  it  ?  And  here  we  have  the 
distances  from  Alexandria,  Va.,  to  Norfolk,  Va.,  up  and 
down  the  Potomac  River.  Distances  on  the  Potomac 
River  from  Washington,  compiled  at  the  United  States 
Coast  Survey, will  be  of  interest  to  travelers  and  others." 

"  Boys,"  said  Blobson,  "  I  have  a  grand  idea,  and  as  I 
am  in  no  way  selfish  I  will  give  it  for  the  benefit  of  the 
crowd.  Since  listening  to  your  description  of  distances 
from  New  York  to  this  point,  my  opinion  is  it  will  pay  to 
get  up  a  guide  to  towns  along  the  entire  Atlantic  and 


172 


BLOBSON    S     DIRE     MISHAPS. 


Pacific  Ocean,  so  that  managers  and  actors  could  run  in 
by  boat  to  places  on  the  water  side." 

"Yes,"  said   Brim,  "it  is  an   excellent  scheme,  but  let 
me  finish  up  before  we  discuss  yours." 


Miles. 

Alexandria 5 

Rosier's  Bluff 7 

Broad  Creek 9 

Fort  Washington uf 

Mount  Vernon  14 

Marshall   Point 15 

White  House i6J 

Hollowing  Point 20 

Craney  Island ....    21- 

Glymont 21^ 

Indian  Head ....  23^ 

Mattawoman  Creek 27^ 

Cockpit  Point 29 

Quantico  Creek 57^ 

Sandy    Point 34 

Liverpool   Point 36 

Smith's   Point 59 

Aquia  Creek 39^ 

Maryland    Point 45 

Nanjemoy  Creek 52 


Miles. 

Cedar  Point  Light 53 

Mathias  Point 55 

Persimmon    Point 59 

Lower  Cedar  Point    Light..   61$ 

Rosier's   Creek 64 

Monroe's  Creek 68 

Great  Wicomico  Bay   75 

Blackiston's  Island  Light..   79 

Machadock   River 85 

Ragged   Point 87 

Piney  Point QI| 

St.  Mary's  River 99 

Point  Lookout    Light 106 

Smith's  Point  Lightship. ...  119 

Rappahannock 137 

Wolf  Trap 149 

York  Spit  Light 161 

Fortress   Monroe .188 

Craney  Island 196 

Norfolk  .  ..200 


From  Norfolk  read  upward. 

"At  every  point  given  here  battles  were  fought  and 
won  by  both  the  '  blue  and  the  gray.'  Many  of  the 
places  are  still  surrounded  with  old  forts,  fortifications 
and  other  painful  reminders  of  the  thousands  of  brave 
men  who  lie  sleeping  where  they  fell.  Here  we  are  on 
the  James  River  time  table,  as  you  can  see.  Distances  on 
James  River,  Va.:" 


'73 

From  Richmond.  From  Norfolk. 

Miles.  Miles. 

*  Norfolk 116  

Newport  News 101^  14^ 

White  Shoal    Light..... 95  21 

Deep  Water  Light 8oi  35^ 

King's  Mill 75  41 

Tavern  Point 74  42 

Jones's   Wharf 70  46 

Jamestown 68  48 

Dancing  Point 59  57 

Claremont 56$  59$ 

Lower  Brandon 55  61 

Upper   Brandon , 49^  66J- 

Fort  Powhatan 46^  69$ 

Windmill  Point 43  73 

Westo ver 39^  76f 

Berkley 37f  78* 

City  Point 32  84 

Shirley 30  86 

Curl's  Neck.. 20$  95^ 

Deep  Bottom i8£  97f 

Varina 15  101 

Dutch  Gap 14  102 

Cox's   Wharf 13*  loofr 

Bennett's  Wharf ic-f  105^ 

Willis's  Wharf 10  106 

Chaffin's   Bluff 8£  107$ 

Drury's  Bluff 7  109 

Warwick.... 5  in 

Richmond  Bar 3  113 

Old  Point,  110— copied  from  last  survey. 

"  I  say,  Mr  Flick,  I  would  be  pleased  to  own  one  of 

those  little  guides.  What  are  they  worth  ?"  said  Brim. 

"  My  dear  boy,  they  are  invaluable  ;  but  if  you  will 
write  to  \V.  H.  Stanford,  general  passenger  agent  of 
the  O.  D.  S.  S.  Co.,  235  West  street,  New  York,  you  will 
get  a  copy  free.  Say  in  your  letter  you  are  a  friend  of 


174  BLOBSON    S      DIRE      MISHAPS. 

mine,  and  it  will  give  him  the  impression  you  occupy  a 
distinguished  position  in  society." 

Brim  wrote  for  a  copy,  but  made  no  allusion  to  Flick, 
and  received  one,  as  would  any  other  person  without 
Brim's  order. 

"As  we  are  here  in  Richmond  the  following  table  will 
interest  us,"  continued  Flick. 

RICHMOND,  VA.,    TO  I 

Miles.  Miles. 

Alexandria,  Va 109  Drury's  Bluff,  Va 8 

Amelia  Court  House,  Va   ...   36  Fair  Oaks,  Va 8 

Appomattox   C.    H.    via    Pe-  Fredericksburg,  Va 61 

tersburg 123  Petersburg,   Va 23 

Burkeville,  Va 55  Wiiliamsburg,  Va 48 

FROM    PETERSBURG,     VA.,    TO  : 

Miles.  Miles. 

Appomattox,  Va 100       Fords,  Va 20 

Church  Roads,  Va 14       Nottaway,  Va 43 

CityPoint,Va 10       Norfolk,  Va 81 

Farmville,  Va 68 

As  the  sun  was  gradually  going  down  in  the  West  it 
was  thought  best  to  postpone  the  sight  seeing  till  the 
next  day;  but  when  the  next  day  announced  itself  it  was 
wet  and  gloomy,  and  this  style  of  weather  continued  for 
three  days,  so  the  company  was  obliged  to  remain  in 
the  hotel  and  listen  to  theatrical  reminiscences  by  the 
company's  comedian,  Sammy  Brim. 

11  Well,  boys,"  said  Brim,  as  they  were  seated  around 
his  room  after  supper,  "  you  wish  me  to  give  you  a  little 
story  of  old-time  theatricals,  eh?  Well,  here  goes: 

'*  In  this  very  city,  with  a  population  of  68.000,  Frank 
Brower  (right  name  Francis  Marion)  the  well  known 
minstrel,  was  born  in  1823;  made  his  first  appearance  on 


BLOBSON    S     DIRE     MISHAPS.  175 

the  minstrel  stage  in  Philadelphia  at  Myers'  Museum  in 
1838.  In  T8u,  the  Richmond  Theatre  was  burned  down 
while  the  performance  was  in  progress,  and  seventy  per 
sons  lost  their  lives.  My  grandfather  was  one  of  the 
company  and  from  him  I  received  the  information." 

"  Do  you  remember,"  said  Flick,  "  when  A.  M.  Palmer 
opened  the  Union  Square  Theatre  in  New  York?" 

"  I  do,  very  well,"  said  Brim.     "It  was  in  September, 

1872,  as  near  as  my  recollection  serves  me.     The  building 
was,  up  to  the  opening,  a  second  class  livery-stable.   Sher 
Shook,  the  owner,  feeling  that  a  theatre  would  be  the 
correct  thing  in  the  neighborhood,  razed  the  old  stable 
and  erected  in  its  stead  the  Union  Square  Theatre,   and 
opened  it  in  1871,  with  Robert  Butler,  formerly  manager 
of    the   Variety   Theatre   at  444    Broadway.      The   new 
theatre  was  run  for  one  year  as  a  variety  house  and  it 
was  under  Butler's  management.    The  well-known  Yokes 
Family  made  their  first  appearance  here,  in  New  York, 
in  1871.  In  1872-73,  A.  M.  Palmer  took  charge  and,  during 
the  season,  the  following  pieces  were  first  produced  in 
this    country:     '  Frou   Frou,'  and  t  100   Years  Old.'     In 

1873,  *  Led  Astray.'     In    1874,  the  '  Two  Orphans  '  was 
put  on;  that  was  about  the  twenty-first  of  December,  and 
it  ran  until  June  15,  1875.     In   November,   1875,  '  Rose 
Michel/  with    Rose  Eytinge  and  J.  H.  Stoddart  in  the 
leading  roles  played  till  the  spring  of  1876. 

"  During  Mr.  Palmer's  management  of  the  Union 
Square,  many  very  clever  dramatic  artists  were  engaged 
by  him.  Among  the  number  were:  Clara  Morris,  Agnes 
Ethel,  Rose  Coghlan,  Agnes  Booth,  Charlotte  Thompson 
(daughter  of  Lysander  Thompson),  Mrs.  McKee  Rankin, 
Mrs.  Wilkins,  Miss  Fanny  Morant,  Miss  Maud  Harrison, 
Miss  Jennie  Lee,  Mrs.  E.  J.  Phillips,  Miss  Kate  Claxton, 
Miss  Linda  Dietz,  Miss  Maud  Granger,  Miss  Nina  Varian 


176  BLOBSON'S    DIRE    MISHAPS. 

and  Miss  Ida  Vernon;  Charles  R.  Throrne,  Jr.,  Charles 
Coghlan,  Frederick  Robinson,  Frederick  de  Belleville, 
McKee  Rankin,  John  Parselle,  F.  F.  MackayJ.  H.  Stod- 
dart,  Richard  Mansfield,  George  Parkes,  Eben  Plympton, 
Stuart  Robson,  Edward  Lamb,  W.  J.  Le  Moyne,  J.  B. 
Polk.  Charles  Stevenson,  Walden  Ramsay,  J.  W.  Collier, 
D.  H.  Harkins,  and  Edward  Arnott. 

"Ah,  boys,"  said  Brim,  "  we  have  no  such  organi 
zations  as  the  one  I  just  quoted;  but  as  it  is  nearly 
midnight,  I  think  I  will  give  up  story  telling  and  retire." 

The  suggestion  was  accepted  by  all  and  each  one 
wended  his  way  to  the  room  assigned  him. 

The  next  day  was  just  as  rainy,  cold  and  sloppy  as 
ever,  no  change  whatever.  After  the  company  had 
partaken  of  breakfast,  and  were  about  going  to  Brim's 
room  to  listen  to  his  dramatic  experiences,  Flick  came 
in  in  a  high  state  of  excitement,  and  without  any  ex 
planation  Oidered  every  one  to  be  at  the  depot  to  take  the 
Atlantic  Coast  Line  to  Wilmington,  N.  C.  Every  one 
was  on  hand  as  requested,  and  as  the  train  came  into 
the  depot,  the  company  presented  a  solid  front  and 
marched  in  a  solid  column  into  a  very  elegant  coach. 
Blobson  was  so  pleased  with  his  surroundings,  after  be 
ing  seated  he  enquired  of  the  conductor  who  was  going 
his  rounds  collecting  tickets,  "  If  this  was  not  a  Special 
Pullman  Car?"  "  Oh,  no,"  said  he  in  a  very  pleasant 
manner,  and  with  a  slight  Southern  accent,  "  all  the 
coaches  on  this  train  are  just  as  handsome  as  the  one 
you  are  now  in." 

Instead  of  going  direct  to  Wilmington  a  stop  was  made 
at  Petersburgh,  Va.,  less  than  an  hour's  ride  from  Rich 
mond,  Va.  This  town  is  situated  on  the  Appomattox 
river,  and  has  a  population  of  some  24,000.  It  is  quite  a 
busy  manufacturing  town  and  has  some  fine  hotels  and 


BLOBSON'S    DIRE    MISHAPS.  177 

private  residences.  The  one-night  stand  here  made  by 
the  company  paid  exceedingly  well.  The  next  stop 
was  made  at  Welden,  N.  C.,  to  dine,  where  a  bountiful 
repast  was  served  to  the  company.  The  food  and  ser 
vice  was  of  the  best,  and  the  charges  were  very 
moderate.  The  next  town  to  open  in  for  one  night  was 
Goldsboro,  in  the  same  state,  49  miles  "distant,  and 
reached  by  rail  very  easily.  The  receipts  for  the  night's 
performance  in  Goldsboro  were  beyond  the  expectation 
of  the  management  and  gratifying  to  all. 

The  next  stop  (only  one  night)  was  at  Wilmington,  N. 
C.,  with  a  population  of  nearly  33,000.  In  looking  over 
the  town  it  was  found  to  be  a  wonderfully  enterprising 
and  attractive  place.  Being  situated  on  Cape  Fear 
Rner,  it  makes  an  important  shipping  point.  Business 
here  was  very  successful.  So  much  so  that  Flick  said,  in 
leaving  the  place:  "  It  was  flying  in  the  face  of  Provi 
dence  in  leaving  such  a  gold  mine  for  other  managers  to 
carry  away." 

Florence,  in  S.  C.,  was  to  be  the  next  stand,  but  it  was 
decided  to  go  on  to  Columbia,  S.  C.,  and  give  the  inhabi 
tants  there  a  chance  to  show  their  appreciation  of  or 
disgust  for  the  "  Never  Get  Left  Dramatic  Company/* 
and  it  was  a  question  after  the  performance  as  to  which 
predominated.  One  night  seemed  to  satisfy  the  citi 
zens  and  the  management  that  the  disgust  on  both  sides 
could  not  be  lessened  by  remaining  anv  longer,  and  the 
next  train  for  Charleston  found  the  company  on  board, 
and  after  a  ride  of  four  hours  Charleston  was  reached. 
One  week  was  given  to  Charleston  with  its  population  of 
68,000,  and  a  royal  success  it  was. 

Savannah,  Ga.,  was  the  next  city  to  welcome  the 
company,  and  a  grand  welcome  it  proved  to  be.  The 
population  here  was  about  equal  in  numbers  to  Charles- 


178  BLOBSON'S    DIRE    MISHAPS. 

tony  but  if  anything  a  better  place  for  amusements, 
Flick  said,  than  the  former  city.  After  the  close  of  the 
week  the  route  was  to  Fernandina,  Jacksonville,  St. 
Augustine,  Palatka,  around  to  Gainesville,  Fla.,  and  so 
on  up  by  the  Atlantic  Coast  Line  Railway,  stopping  at 
all  prominent  towns  that  were  passed  in  going  down. 
After  a  two  months'  trip  over  mountains,  valley  and 
plain  the  company  reached  Washington,  filled  with  pleas 
ure  over  the  Southern  trip.  Connection  was  made  at 
Washington  with  the  Pennsylvania  limited  train  for 
New  York,  and  in  five  and  one-half  hours  the  company 
landed  in  New  York  Ciiy. 

It  was  Flick's  intention  when  the  company  reached 
Palatka,  Florida,  to  continue  over  this  line  to  Tampa, 
there  take  the  steamer  and  go  to  Havana,  and  play  there 
a  week,  but  he  was  overruled  by  the  manager. 

"Why,"  said  Bluffingfon,  "of  what  use  would  it  be 
to  take  our  company  over  to  Havana,  which  is  only 
ninety  miles  distant,  and  about  a  five  hours'  trip,  and 
play  to  a  Spanish  audience?  They  would  not  understand 
our  language,  and  we  would  be  hooted  out  of  the  place.'' 

"  Why,"  said  Flick  in  reply,  "don't  the  Italian  and 
German  combinations  play  in  the  United  States,  charge 
enormous  prices,  and  take  every  dollar  back  with  them? 
and  J  think  it  would  be  an  excellent  scheme  to  try  it  on 
the  Cubans." 

But  Bluffington  was  obdurate,  and  the  Cuban  inva 
sion  by  the  "  Never  Get  Left  Dramitic  Company  "  was 
destroyed  in  its  infancy. 


CHAPTER  XXIII. 


THROUGH     THE     NEW     ENGLAND     STATES,     OVER     THE     NEW 

YORK  AND  NEW     ENGLAND    RAILWAY EIGHTY-SIX 

MILES  WITHOUT  A  STOP — BLOBSON  NEARLY 

CHOKED       AT     DINNER      BV 

A    BONE. 

|N  the  second  day  after  the  arrival  of  the  com 
pany  in  New  York,  word  was  dispatched 
to  each  and  every  member  of  the  company, 
to  be  in  readiness  to  leave  for  Boston  on  the 
3  P.  M.  train  the  coming  day,  via  The  New  York  and 
New  England  Short  Line  Railway,  this  being  the  only 
line  running  between  New  York  and  Boston  on  Sundays. 
At  the  appointed  hour  every  member  of  the  company 
was  on  board,  occupying  one  of  the  new  palace  coaches 
of  the  line.  "  All  aboard  !"  was  heard,  and  in  a  moment 
the  train  started.  After  a  three  hours  run  the  train 
pulled  into  the  town  of  Willimantic,  where  the  company 
enjoyed  a  hearty  supper,  ample  time  being  allowed  for 
the  disposal  of  the  meal;  there  was  no  bolting  of  food 
observed  on  this  occasion,  nor  did  Blobson  require,  as 
on  two  other  occasions,  to  have  his  breath  nearly  knocked 
out  of  him  by  members  of  the  company  in  their  frantic 
efforts  to  dislodge  a  bone  he  tried  to  swallow  in  a  mis 
take  for  a  fried  oyster. 


iSo  BLOBSON'S    DIRE    MISHAPS. 

From  Willimantic  to  Boston  the  distance  is  eighty-six 
miles,  and  no  stops  were  made  between  the  two'points. 
At  9  P.  M.  to  the  minute  the  company  arrived  at  their 
destination,  and  on  Monday  morning  were  at  rehearsal 
at  the  Globe  Theatre,  where  they  played  to  a  week's  fine 
business. 

The  Fall  River  Line  leaving  Boston  on  Sunday  night 
was  selected  to  carry  the  company  to  New  York.  As 
luck  would  have  it  the  Puritan  was  in  service  that  night, 
and  the  man  who  is  personally  acquainted  with  more  of 
the  traveling  public  than  any  other  in  the  United  States, 
George  W.  Rice,  chief  steward,  was  at  the  dock  extend 
ing  a  welcome  to  his  numerous  friends  as  they  went  on 
board.  Chief  Steward  Washington  whose  boat  was  not 
in  service  on  the  evening  in  question,  was  standing 
close  to  Mr.  Rice  and  was  deeply  absorbed  in  the 
weather,  the  influx  of  passengers,  or  some  new  style  of 
menu,  when  his  reverie  was  broken  by  Mr.  Rice,  who 
asked  him  if  he  didn't  tell  him  to  look  out  for  his  watch. 

"  Why,  I  never  spoke  to  you,''  said  Washington. 

"Well,  I'm  sure  I  heard  you,  but  as  you  deny  it,  it 
certainly  must  be  I  imagined  it.'' 

A  moment  afterwards  Washington  suddenly  faced 
Rice  and  startled  him  by  inquiring  if  he  did  not  tell  him 
to  look  out  for  his  pocketbook. 

"  What,  me?  Now,  Mr. Washington,  you  know  me  too 
well  to  think  for  a  moment  that  I  would  attempt  to  play 
a  trick  on  you.  No,  sir,  it  must  have  been  your  imagi 
nation." 

"  Mr.  Rice,"  came  a  voice  from  the  Puritan. 

"  Yes,"  said  he,  in  reply,  "  what  is  wanted?" 

"  The  captain  wants  you,"  said  the  voice. 

Away  Mr.  Rice  went,  found  the  captain,  and  inquired 
what  was  his  pleasure.  When  informed  he  did  not 


BLOBSON'S    DIRE    MISHAPS.  181 

require  his  services  nor  did  he  send  for  him,  he  was 
not  positive  the  captain  was  not  playing  a  trick  upon 
him. 

"  Say,  Mr.  Rice,"  said  a  voice,  as  he  was  going  across 
the  gang  plank;  but  turning  round  suddenly  he  saw  no 
one. 

"  Well,  well,"  said  he,  "  there  must  be  something  amiss 
with  me  to-night;  and  on  reaching  Steward  Washington 
he  was  about  to  tell  him  of  his  experience  when  the  yell 
of  a  cat  as  if  being  crushed  under  his  feet  made  the  two 
stewards  jump  as  if  struck  by  a  live  electric  wire  of  sixty 
volt  power. 

"  Good  Lord/'  said  he,  looking  around.  "  What 
have  I  done?" 

A  black  cat  that  moment  was  seen  running  at  break 
neck  speed  across  the  gangway  into  the  boat. 

"There,"  said  Washington,  looking  in  the  direction 
the  cat  took.  "When  the  chief  cook  examines  his  cat 
he  won't  find  a  whole  bone  in  his  body." 

"Well,  I  do  hope  the  cook  will  learn  better  sense 
hereafter  and  try  and  keep  his  cat  on  the  boat.  I'm 
dreadfully  sorry  I  injured  the  animal,"  said  Rice. 

"  Don't  tramp  on  my  feet  that  way,"  said  a  voice  be 
hind  him. 

"Why,  bless  my  soul,  I  didn't  mean  to,"  and  on  turn 
ing  about  saw  no  one  to  apologize  to  but  Washington, 
who  was  still  looking  at  the  boat  expecting  the  cat  to 
make  his  appearance.  After  a  moment's  pause  he  asked 
if  it  was  he  who  requested  him  not  to  tramp  on  his 
feet. 

"Why,  certainly  not,"  said  Washington. 
'Well,  Pil  tell    you  something   terrible  is    going    to 
happen,''  said  Rice. 

At  that  moment  the  screams  of  a  dozen  cats  seemed 


182  BLOBSON'S    DIRE    MISHAPS. 

to  rise  from  under  their  feet,  which  caused  them  both  to 
rush  for  their  very  lives  on  to  the  boat. 

The  bell  on  the  boat  was  closing  its  last  peal,  the 
whistle  notified  all  hands  to  be  ready,  and  in  a  few  mo 
ments  the  boat  was  in  the  stream  headed  for  New  York. 

Steward  Rice  it  was  noticed  did  not  while  in  the 
dining  hall  that  night  exhibit  his  usual  anxiety  and 
pleasure,  and  Steward  Washington,  who  was  seated  be 
hind  Cashier  Thomas  Rogers'  desk  seemed  to  share  in 
the  discomfiture  of  Rice.  When  Rogers  was  asked  by 
Captain  Simonds  if  the  stewards  had  not  met  with 
some  great  sorrow,  he  was  unable  to  answer. 

"  Why,"  said  the  captain,  "  they  both  act  as  if  they 
had  seen  a  graveyard  full  of  ghosts  playing  cribbage  on 
a  lot  of  second  hand  gravestones." 

"  Well,"  said  Rogers,  "  this  must  be  inquired  into." 

At  breakfast  the  next  morning  the  stewards  were  go 
ing  about  in  a  sort  of  a  mechanical  way,  occasionally 
meeting  each  other,  and  nodding  and  winking  in  a 
mysterious  manner. 

The  captain  being  well  acquainted  with  Anderson,  the 
ventriloquist,  and  learning  from  him  the  tricks  he  played 
upon  the  two  stewards,  Rice  and  Washington  were 
called,  and  when  the  captain  explained  to  them  who  the 
joker  was,  both  Rice  and  Washington  roared  lustily  over 
the  matter  and  claimed  they  both  understood  the  whole 
thing  was  a  joke  from  the  start,  nothing  else. 


CHAPTER  XXIV. 


TRIP    TO  TROY     AND    OTHER  TOWNS— BLOBSON     AND     FLICK, 

WHILE     IN  THE    ADIRONDACKS,    GO    OUT     TO    TRAP 

BEAR  AND  SCALP  INDIANS,  BUT  THEY  HAVE 

THE  MISERY  OF    BEING    TRAPPED 

AND     NEARLY    SCALPED 

— CLOSE  OF  THE 

SEASON. 

|HE  dramatic  season  of  the  company  was  draw 
ing  to  a  close,  the  management  intending  to 
disband  after  giving  one  more  performance  in 
Troy.  As  the  theatre  there  was  to  close  in  a 
few  weeks,  no  time  was  to  be  lost  in  getting  there.  On 
Sunday  night  the  company  embarked  on  the  steamer  Troy 
of  The  Citizen's  Line,  and  had  every  attention  shown 
them  by  the  Captain  and  officers,  and  arrived  in  Troy  in 
due  season.  The  week's  business  there  was  something 
immense,  and  so  pleased  was  the  manager,  he  concluded 
to  give  the  company  an  excursion  up  to  the  Adirondack 
mountains  and  close  the  season.  Knowing,  as  he  did, 
the  managers  of  the  Raymond  and  Whitcomb  Excursion 
System,  he  arranged  in  advance  with  them  to  take  his 
company  from  Troy  to  Niagara  Falls  over  the  West 
Shore  Railroad,  thence  to  Buffalo  and  back  to  Troy, 
over  the  N.  Y.  Central  and  Hudson  River  Railroad,  and 


184  BLOBS  ON  *S      DIRE      MISHAPS. 

by  the  Delaware  and  Hudson  Railroad,  stopping  at 
Westport,  N.  Y. 

The  next  day  being  Monday  the  company  went  to 
Albany,  and  there  met  the  excursion  train  of  Raymond 
and  Whitcomb.  The  two  extra  coaches  in  which  the 
company  were  to  travel  made  up  a  train  of  eight  of  the 
finest  cars  ever  turned  out  of  a  factory.  Every  want  was 
provided  for  from  the  time  of  starting  at  Albany  till 
reaching  Westport.  No  better  service  could  be  found 
in  any  of  the  leading  hotels  than  that  provided  for  the 
excursionists,  some  eighty  or  more  in  number.  After 
going  to  Niagara  Falls,  Buffalo,  Utica,  Syracuse,  Troy, 
then  Saratoga,  Whitehall,  and  last  Westport,  the  com 
pany  stopped  there  to  go  through  the  mountains,  while 
the  Raymond  and  Whitcomb  party  continued  over  the 
Delaware  and  Hudson  Railroad  to  Montreal  where  they 
were  to  remain  for  two  days  and  then  return.  The  Gibbs 
House  selected  in  Westport  was  comfortable  and  clean, 
and  being  near  Lake  Champlain,  a  fine  view  could  be 
had  of  it. 

Westport,  by  the  way,  is  one  of  the  handsomest  spots 
on  Lake  Champlain,  and  from  the  Holt  Cedars,  a  short 
distance  south  of  what  was  known  as  the  Richards 
House,  (now  the  Gibbs)  and  the  Westport  Inn,  the  Lake, 
can  be  seen  in  all  its  beauty,  with  the  Green  Moun 
tains  of  Vermont  in  the  foreground,  and  the  Adiron 
dack  mountains  filling  in  the  background.  The  view  is 
a  magnificent  one,  and  will  well  repay  a  visit. 

The  leading  members  of  the  company  intended  to 
test  the  valor  of  Flick  when  they  reached  this  region,  if 
such  a  thing  was  possible.  "Yes,"  said  Flick  after  sup 
per  was  over  that  night,  "  I  propose  we  take  teams  in  the 
morning  and  go  out  in  the  mountains  and  hunt  Indians 
and  bear.  The  landlord  tells  me  the  woods  are  full  of 


BLOB  SON'S     DIRE      MISHAPS.  185 

both.  Now  what  say  you  to  this  proposition  ?"  The 
members  all  agreed.  Although  the  mountains  are  very 
close  to  Westport,  and  bears  are  found  in  them  at  times, 
an  Indian  has  not  been  seen  there  for  many,  many  years. 
Two  conveyances  were  at  the  hotel  door  the  next  morn 
ing  to  convey  the  company  into  the  mountains.  After 
a  three  hours'  ride  they  reached  a  very  mountainous  dis 
trict.  Flick  and  Blobson  were  scouring  a  portion  of  the 
mountain  alone;  both  had  old  army  muskets,  too  old  for 
any  use,  but  the  best  the  landlord  could  furnish.  The 
rest  of  the  company  were  unarmed,  but  each  one  car 
ried  a  small  bundle  which  Flick  understood  contained 
their  luncheons.  Blobson  had  a  basket  suspended  from 
his  neck  by  a  string  in  which  was  deposited  a  lunch  for 
each.  Becoming  tired  and  hungry  they  sat  down,  not 
unobserved  by  the  other  members  who  were  in  a  posi 
tion  to  see  and  not  be  seen.  Just  as  Blobson  and  Flick 
had  prepared  everything  to  commence  their  lunch,  a 
young  bear,  scenting  the  food,  crept  out  of  a  rock  near  by 
and  sat  upon  his  haunches.  He  was  not  over  six  months 
old,  and  no  more  dangerous  than  a  dog  would  be  at  that 
age.  Had  the  animal  been  as  large  as  a  mountain,  it 
could  not  have  driven  the  courage  of  Flick  and  Blobson 
into  the  toes  of  their  shoes  any  quicker.  At  the  first 
sight  they  got  of  the  little  fellow,  both  became  speechless 
and  almost  paralyzed. 

The  exertion  and  heat  of  the  day  caused  them  before 
sitting  down  to  throw  off  their  coats  and  vests.  The 
little  bear  seeing  Blobson  and  Flick  so  quiet  made  bold 
to  advance  towards  the  food  spread  out  on  the  napkins, 
and  in  so  doing  brought  the  two  bear  and  Indian  killers 
to  a  realization  of  the  danger  surrounding  them. 

Away  they  fled,  climbing  the  tree  nearest  them,  while 
the  innocent  and  playful  young  cub,  from  sheer  fright 


i86  BLOBSON'S    DIRE    MISHAPS. 

at  the  sudden  movement  of  our  two  heroes,  scampered 
off  as  fast  as  his  four  little  legs  could  carry  him. 

No  sooner  had  they  become  safely  lodged  in  the  tree 
than  they  found  to  their  horror  a  number  of  Indians  in 
costume,  with  faces  painted  in  the  most  fierce  and  war 
like  manner,  approaching  the  very  spot  they  were  in. 
No  sooner  had  they  arrived  than  they  commenced  a  war 
dance  with  terrific  yells. 

Flick  and  Blobson  felt  that  their  hour  had  come  and 
their  days  were  numbered,  but  a  few  moments  more  and 
they  would  be  discovered,  called  or  dragged  down  from 
their  place  of  concealment,  scalped,  shot,  and  their 
bodies  left  for  bears  to  feed  upon.  But  such  was  not 
the  case.  They  picked  up  the  food,  guns  and  clothing 
left  by  the  two  valorous  heroes  in  the  tree,  and  disap 
peared  as  quietly  as  they  came.  After  waiting  about  an 
hour  and  the  Indians  not  appearing,  they  came  down 
from  their  hiding  place,  and  by  the  aid  of  a  farmer's 
team  were  brought  back  to  Westport. 

After  their  arrival  at  the  hotel  Flick  had  an  awful 
story  to  tell  of  the  prowess  they  exhibited  in  their  en 
gagement  in  bloody  warfare  with  a  whole  tribe  of  In 
dians  and  a  large  number  of  man-eating  grizzly  bears. 

It  was  true  the  escaping  Indians  had  robbed  them  of  all 
their  goods,  chattels  and  guns,  but  they  retained  their 
lives  and  their  honor. 

Flick  was  then  invited  by  some  of  the  members  into 
an  adjoining  room,  and  there  beheld  his  clothes  and 
gun  as  well  as  those  of  Blobson.  After  being  informed 
that  the  warlike  Indians  he  had  met  in  deadly  combat 
were  none  others  than  members  of  his  company,  he 
waited  to  hear  no  more. 

In  the  morning  it  was  found  he  took  the  train  South. 

The  next  day  the  balance  of  the  company  left  by  the 
D.  and  H.  Railroad  for  New  York,  where  they  arrived 
in  safety  by  the  New  York  Central  and  H.  R.  R.  R., 
and  will  no  doubt  remain  there  till  the  opening  of  the 
fall  season. 


SHELLEY'S 


HISTORY  OF  THE  ~  AMERICAN  STAGE 


MORTIMER     M.     SHELLEY. 


•»  1TSO     TO     1591* 

HE  claim  made  by  some  of  the  dramatic  his 
torians  that  as  Lewis  Hallam  and  his  com 
pany  of  actors  arrived  at  Williamsburg, 
Virginia,  from  England,  in  June,  1752,  he 
should  have  the  credit  of  being  the  first  manager  of  a 
dramatic  company  appearing  in  this  country.  If  this 
claim  is  admitted  what  then  becomes  of  the  claim  made 
in  favor  of  David  Douglass,  who  was  manager  of  the 
Nassau  Street  Theatre,  New  York,  as  early  as  1750,  two 
years  prior  to  the  opening  in  Williamsburg,  Virginia,  of 
Hallam's  party?  Douglass,  no  doubt,  did  not  depend  on 
the  vessel  which  brought  Hallam  and  company  over,  but, 
like  the  Irishman,  when  asked  how  his  race  escaped  the 
Flood,  not  being  registered  in  Noah's  Ark,  *'Aisy  enough," 
said  he.  kl  We  had  a  boat  of  our  own." 

The  performance  given  by  Douglass  on  March  the .5.^1, 
1750,  at  the  Nassau  Street  Theatre,  as  it  was  then  cail'|d, 
was: 

RICHARD    III. 

Gloster DAVID   DOUGLASS 

Other  characters  by  the  company. 
13 


2  SHELLEY  S    HISTORY    OF    THE    AMERICAN    STAGE. 

A  further  proof  that  there  were  other  players  here  prior 
to  Hallam's  advent  in  1752,  is  that  after  Douglass's  re 
tirement  from  the  Nassau  Street  Theatre,  Messrs.  Murray 
&  Kean  became  lessees  and  managers  of  the  house  and 
opened  it  on  January  7th,  1751.  The  plays  for  the 
opening  were:  "A  Bold  Stroke  for  a  Husband,''  and 
"The  Devil  to  Pay;"  with  Mr.  Tremaine,  Mr.  Thomas 
Kean  (one  of  the  managers),  Mr.  Woodham,  Mr.  Jago, 
Mr.  Scott,  Mr.  Leigh,  Mr.  Smith,  Mr.  Moore,  Mr.  Marks, 
Master  Murray,  Mrs.  Murray,  Miss  Osborne,  Mrs.  Leigh 
and  Mrs.  Davis.  In  August  of  the  same  year,  Murray 
&  Kean  having  thrown  up  the  lease,  it  was  taken  by  one 
Robert  Upton  and  opened  under  his  management  on 
December  23d,  1751,  remaining  in  possession  till  March 

2,  I752- 

Not  one  member  of  the  Kallam  Company  is  mentioned 
in  that  of  Murray  &  Kean,  which  proves  (all  statements 
to  the  contrary)  that  there  were  other  managers  and 
actors  in  the  country  prior  to  the  landing  of  Hallam. 
The  Robert  Upton  mentioned  here  was  sent  from  London 
by  William  Hallam,  brother  of  Lewis,  with  sufficient 
means  to  open  in  New  York  in  1751,  that  is  to  make  all 
preparations  necessary  for  an  opening,  and  William  Hal 
lam  would  send  over  a  company  to  Upton  when  everything 
was  in  readiness.  Upton,  being  a  dishonorable  man, 
squandered  the  means  of  his  employer  while  here  and 
then  fled  to  Europe.  Hallam,  learning  of  this,  deter 
mined  on  carrying  out  his  American  scheme,  and  sent  out 
a  full  company  under  his  brother  Lewis,  in  a  vessel  called 
the  Lively  Sally,  and  landed,  as  already  stated,  at  Williams- 
burg,  Virginia,  in  1752.  The  plays  given  by  Hallam's 
Company  at  the  first  performance  in  this  country  were  as 
follows: 


SHELLEY  S    HISTORY    OF    THE    AMERICAN    STAGE.  3 

WlLLIAMSBURG,  VA.,  SEPT.  5th,   1752. 
OPENING  NIGHT. 

[The  Original  Bill.] 
THE   MERCHANT    OF    VENICE. 

Bassanio MR.  RIGBY 

Antonio MR.  CLARKSON 

Gratiano MR.  SINGLETON 

Salanio  and  Duke ' MR.  HERBERT 

Launcelot  and  Tubal LEWIS   HALLAM 

Shylock MR.  MALONE 

Servant LEWIS  HALLAM,  JR.  (then  a  boy) 

Portia MRS.  LEWIS   HALLAM 

Jessica   Miss  HALLAM 

Nerissa Miss  PALMER 

To  be  followed  by  the  Farce  of 

LETHE, 
In  which  the  Principal  Members  will  appear. 

Dunlap,  in  his  history  of  the  stage,  entirely  ignores 
Douglass  and  other  managers  who  were  in  New  York  in 
1750,  for  the  evident  benefit  of  Hallam.  Why,  it  is  not 
easy  to  answer.  The  first  we  hear  of  Douglass  by  Dun- 
lap  is  when  Douglass  built  his  theatre  at  Cruger's 
Wharf  in  1758.  Nothing  is  said  about  him  as  manager 
of  the  Nassau  Street  Theatre  in  1750,  nor  of  Martin  and 
Kean  as  managers  of  the  same  house  in  1751,  nor  of  Up 
ton's  management  there  in  1751-52.  Dunlap  makes  no 
mention  whatever  as  to  who  managed  the  Beekman 
Street  Theatre  in  1761,  nor  the  John  Street  Theatre 
in  1 767;  and  yet  it  was,  and  is,  well  known  to  nearly 
every  writer  that  David  Douglass  was  the  first  manager 
having  sole  control  of  each  house.  "  Even  Ireland,  in  his 
history  of  the  stage,"  says  Dunlap,  "assumes  erroneous- 


4        SHELLEY'S  HISTORY  OF  THE  AMERICAN  STAGE. 

ly  that  Hallam  was  the  first  manager  in  this  country  and 
that  no  other  players  preceded  him." 

Ireland  admits  the  Nassau  Street  Theatre  being  opened 
and  in  use  by  a  theatrical  company,  the  opening  piece  be 
ing  Richard  III.,  on  March  5, 1750;  but,  strange  to  say,  was 
unable  to,  or  would  not,  give  the  name  of  the  manager  or 
who  were  the  players  engaged  at  the  time.  In  another 
portion  of  his  excellent  work,  speaking  of  the  Nassau 
Street  Theatre,  he  shows  conclusively  that  in  1751  Mur 
ray  and  Kean  were  managers  of  the  house  and  that  in 
December  of  the  same  year,  one  Robert  Upton,  previous 
ly  spoken  of,  became  its  manager,  and  in  1753  Hallam 
and  company  appeared  there. 

F.  C.  Wemyss,  in  his  very  interesting  "  History  of  the 
Stage,  from  1752  to  1852,"  copies  from  the  Philadelphia 
Public  Ledger  >  September,  1852,  an  article  showing  the 
existence  of  a  company  playing  in  that  city  in  the  latter 
part  of  1749.  It  is  further  shown  by  the  records  of  the 
Police  books  of  Philadelphia,  January,  1749,  the  Recorder 
acquainted  the  Board  "That  certain  persons  had  taken 
upon  themselves  the  responsibility  of  opening  a  play 
house  and  performing  plays  therein  without  the  consent 
of  the  lawful  authorities,  and  they  must  be  prohibited 
from  continuing  the  same."  The  statement  closes  with 
this  same  company  (no  names  of  manager  or  members 
being  given)  leaving  by  a  sailing  vessel  for  New  York 
and  after  their  arrival,  opening  in  a  wooden  building  in 
Nassau  Street,  called  the  Nassau  Street  Theatre,  on  the 
fifth  of  March,  1750;  which  again  confirms  the  statement 
made  by  us  on  the  first  and  second  pages  of  this  work. 

In  the  latter  part  of  1750,  David  Douglass  and  his 
company  iett  New  York  for  Williamsburg,  Va.,  opening 
there  in  1750.  Dunlap,  the  historian,  in  his  "  History  of 
the  American  Stage,"  denies  the  fact  and  says  the  first 


SHELLEY  S    HISTORY    OF    THE    AMERICAN    STAGE.  5 

theatre  was  built  at  Annapolis  in  1752  (ignoring  the 
Nassau  Street  Theatre  and  the  Williamburg  Theatre). 
Dunlap  further  says:  "This  was  the  first  regular  theatre 
in  this  country,"  not  knowing  of  the  second  one  in  Wil- 
liamsburg,  Va.,  in  1750,  built  by  David  Douglass  (or,  at 
least,  under  his  supervision  while  building)  and  after 
wards  altered  by  Hallarn  in  1752. 

In  justice  to  William  Dunlap,  Colley  Gibber  received 
a  letter  from  him,  in  1835,  wherein  he  acknowledges  his 
error  and  admits  the  justice  of  the  same  being  corrected, 
but  his  death  shortly  afterwards  gave  him  no  opportunity 
of  making  the  correction  in  his  own  History  of  the  Stage. 

1°  .J753»  September  17,  Lewis  Hallam  and  Company 
came  to  New  York  and  opened  at  the  Nassau  Street 
Theatre  with  the  following  bill  : 

NASSAU    STREET    THEATRE. 

Opening  night  Sept.  17,  1753. 

[The  Original  Bill.] 

THE    CONSCIOUS    LOVERS. 

Young  Bevil MR.  RIGBY 

Mr.  Sealand MR.    MALONE 

Sir  John  Bevii MR.  BELL 

Myrtle MR.    CLARKSON 

Cumberton MR.  MILLER 

Humphrey MR.  ADCOCK 

Dahiel MASTER  HALLAM 

Tom MR.  SINGLETON 

Phillis MRS.    BECCELEY 

Mrs.  Sealand MRS.  CLARKSON 

Lucinda Miss  HALLAM 

Isabella MRS.  RIGBY 

Indiana MRS.  HALLAM 

[Continued  on  next  page.] 


6  SHELLEY  S    HISTORY    OF    THE    AMERICAN    STAGE. 

To  Conclude    with   the  Farce  of 
DAMON    AND     PHILLJDA. 

Areas MR.    BELL 

Ogon MR.  RIGBY 

Korydon MR  .  CLARKSON 

Cymon MR.    MILLER 

Damon , MR.  ADCOCK 

Phillida MRS.  BECCELEY 

Prices — Box,   8s.;  Pit,  6s.;  Gallery,    35.     No  person 

whatever  to  be  admitted   behind  the  scenes. 

N.  B.     Gentlemen  and  Ladies  that  choose  Tickets  before 

night  may  have  them  at  the  new  Printing-office 

in    Beaver    Street,    corner  Broad. 

Performance  to  begin  at  Six  o'clock. 


Referring  again  to  the  Nassau  Street  Theatre,  in 
which  the  first  performance  was  given  in  New  York,  it 
was  located  on  lots  64  and  66  Nassau  Street,  near  Maiden 
Lane,  on  the  east  side  of  the  street.  The  play  of 
"  Richard  III "  was  the  first  presented,  the  date  being 
March  the  5th,  1750.  George  II  was  then  the  sover 
eign  of  Great  Britain,  and  Admiral  George  Clinton  was 
Governor  of  the  Province  of  New  York.  The  popula 
tion  of  the  ci'.y  at  that  period  was  7,055  inhabitants. 
The  next  theatre  was  on  Cruger's  Wharf,  now  Old 
Slip,  in  1758.  David  Douglass  was  the  manager  and 
owner  of  the  building.  The  opening  play  presented  was 
"  Jane  Shore,"  with  Mrs.  Douglass  (formerly  Mrs.  Lewis 
Hallam)  in  the  title  role,  this  was  on  December  28, 
1758.  The  next  theatre  was  in  Chapel  Street  (now 
Beekman  Street),  No.  26,  a  few  doors  east  of  Nassau 
Street.  David  Douglass  was  also  the  manager  and 


i  ••    .r?  -T-  '  --'        -  ••-         '•     .  ±_ 


G-t/tl*  1  C&S 


SHELLEY  S    HISTORY    OF    THE    AMERICAN    STAGE. 

builder,  and  opened  it  on  Thursday,  November 
1761,  with  the  "Fair  Penitent."  The  prices  of  admis 
sion  were:  Boxes,  $2.00  ;  pit,  $1.25;  gallery,  75  cents. 
As  it  may  be  of  interest  to  many,  the  following  is  given 
as  the  original  bill  : 

Thursday,  November  26,  1761,  will   be  presented 
[The  Original  Bill.] 

HAMLET, 

With  the  Following  Cast  : 

Hamlet t MR.  HALLAM 

King MR.  DOUGLASS 

Horatio... , MR.  READ 

Ghost MR.  QUELCH 

Polonius MR.  MORRIS 

Laertes MR.  ALLYN 

Marcellus   MR.  A.  HALLAM 

Guildenstern MR.    STUART 

Lucianos MR.    TOMLINSON 

Francisco MR.    TREMAIN 

First  Grave  Digger MR.  QUELCH 

Queen  Gertrude MRS.    DOUGLASS 

Ophelia MRS.  MORRIS 

Player  Queen MRS.  HALLAM 


This  theatre  remained  open  only  five   months,  closing 
permanently  by  a  mob  in  May,  1762. 


In  1767,  April  i4th,  David  Douglass  assumed  the  man 
agement  of  the  John  Street  Theatre,  situated  at  15  John 
Street,  with  the  same  prices  of  admission  which  ruled  at 
the  Chapel  Street  Theatre.  The  opening  performance 
was  given  December  7,  1767,  with  the  play  of 


8  SHELLEY'S  HISTORY  OF  THE  AMERICAN  STAGE. 

[The  Original  Bill.] 
THE    BELLE'S    STRATEGEM. 

Archer MR.  H ALLAM 

Aimwell         MR.  HENRY 

Freeman MR.  MALONE 

Sullen MR.  TOMLINSON 

Foigard MR.  ALLYN 

Gibbet MR.  WOOLES 

Boniface MR.  DOUGLASS 

Lady  Bountiful MRS.  HARMAN 

Mrs.  Sullen Miss  CHEER 

Dorinda Miss  HALLAM 

Cherry Miss  WAINWRIGHT 

Gipsy MRS.  WALL 

Closing  with  the  Farce  of 
LETHE. 


In  1785,  August  24,  Lewis  Hallam,  Jr.,  took  the  above 
house  and  kept  it  open  till  November,  when  he  entered 
into  a  partnership  with  a  Mr.  John  Henry,  and  played 
there  for  some  time.  The  building  was  torn  down  in 
1797.  The  Park  Theatre,  Park  Row,  occupied  the  site 
opposite  the  New  York  Post  Office,  Numbers  25  to  31 
Park  Row.  It  had  a  frontage  of  80  feet  on  Park  Row 
and  a  depth  of  165  feet,  and  would  seat  2,700  peo- 
pie. 

It  opened  first  under  the  management  of  John  Hodg- 
kinson  and  Willam  Dunlap,  January  29,  1798,  and  cost 
to  build  $130,000. 

The  first  performance  given  was  Shakespeare's  "As 
You  Like  It."  Cast  as  follows  : 


SHELLEY  S    HISTORY    OF    THE    AMERICAN    STAGE.  9 

[The  Original  Bill.] 

AS    YOU    LIKE     IT. 

Jacques MR.  HODGKINSON 

Touchstone MR.  HALLAM 

Orlando MR.    MARTIN 

Amiens MR.  TYLER 

Sir  Oliver MR.    FAWCETT 

Oliver , MR.  JOHNSON 

Frederick MR.    PRIGMORE 

Le  Beau MR.  HOGG 

Corin MR.    LEE 

William MR.  HALLAM,  Jr. 

Rosalind ,  MRS.  JOHNSON 

Celia Miss  BROADHURST 

Phoebe MRS.  COLLINS 

Audrey Miss  BRETT 

Johnson  and  Tyler  managed  the  house  in  1805. 

Manager  Cooper  had  the  house  from  1807  to  1808.  In 
1809  Messrs.  Cooper  and  Price  took  the  management  and 
retained  it  up  to  1811  and  Mr.  Stephen  Price  held  control 
until  1818.  In  1821,  October  5,  Junius  Brutus  Booth,  the 
elder,  appeared  here,  his  first  opening  in  New  York,  as 
"  Richard  III,""  following  this  with  "Brutus,"  "Lear," 
'•Hamlet"  and  "Othello." 

Messrs.  Price  and  Simpson  opened  the  Park  Theatre 
in  1823.  It  burned  down  in  1848,  under  the  manage 
ment  of  Thomas  S.  Hamblin,  and  was  not  rebuilt.  The 
play  the  night  of  the  fire  was  "  King  John  "  with  Mr. 
Hamblin  and  his  wife,  Mrs.  Shaw,  in  the  leading  roles. 

In  1829  Mr.  Edwin  Forrest  appeared  at  the  Park  in 
the  play  of  ^Metamora." 

On  September  ist,  1830,  Mr.  Charles  Kean  appeared  at 
the  Park  as  "  Richard  III." 


io        SHELLEY'S  HISTORY  OF  THE  AMERICAN  STAGE. 

[The  Original  Bill.] 

RICHARD    III. 

Richard MR.  CHARLES  KEAN 

Henry  VI MR.  FOOT 

Richmond EDMUND  SIMPSON 

Buckingham MR.  WOODHULL 

Norfolk MR.    NEXSEN 

Catesby THOMAS  PLACIDE 

Tressell PETER  RICHINGS 

Lord  Stanley MR.  BLAKELY 

Lord  Mayor MR.  W.  WHEATLEY 

Prince  of  Wales Miss   WHEATLEY 

Duke   of   York Miss  E.  WHEATLEY 

Queen  Elizabeth MRS.  BARNES 

Lady  Anne MRS.  W.  R.  BLAKE 

Duchess  of  York MRS.  W.  WHEATLEY 

Mr.  Kean's  last  appearance  in  New  York  was  at  Wai- 
lack's  Old  Theatre,  Broadway,  near  Broome  street. 


On  August  28th,    1833,  Tyrone  Power  opened  at  the 
Park  Theatre  in  the 

IRISH    AMBASSADOR. 

Sir  Patrick  O'Plenipo MR.  TYRONE  E.  POWER 

Grand  Duke MR.  PETER  RICHINGS 

Prince  Rudolph MR.  EDMUND  SIMPSON 

Count  Morinos THOMAS  PLACIDE 

Lowincroft HENRY  PLACIDE 

Lady  Emily MRS.    H.  WALLACK 

Lady  Isabel MRS.  HARRISON 

In    1841    Mr.    Power,  while  en  route   to  Europe,  was 
drowned  by  the  foundering  of   the  ship  President. 


SHELLEY  S    HISTORY    OF    THE    AMERICAN    STAGE.          II 

On  the  6th  of  May,  1839,  Joseph  Proctor  (the 
creator  of  "Nick  of  the  Woods,"  born  in  Massachusetts 
in  1820),  made  his  appearance  at  the  Bowery  Theatre 
under  Thomas  Hamblin,  in  "Nick  of  the  Woods."  This 
play  was  presented  at  this  theatre  for  the  first  time  by 
Mr.  Proctor,  and  the  success  was  so  great  at  this  house 
he  continued  afterwards  to  play  this  and  no  other  for  45 
years  or  more. 

NICK    OF    THE    WOODS. 

Nathan MR.  J.  PROCTOR 

Bruce J.  B.  RICE 

Forrester MR.  BANISTER 

Roaring  Ralph MR.  HOLLAND 

Abel  .Doe J.  H.  H ALL 

Edith  Forrester MRS.  J.  PROCTOR 

Telie  Doe . .  MRS.    HAMBLIN 


MITCHELL'S    OLYMPIC,   444    BROADWAY. 

WILLIAM  MITCHELL,  Manager. 

OPENING    NIGHT 

[Original  Bill.] 
DECEMBER    Qth,  1839. 

HIGH    LIFE     BELOW    STAIRS. 

Gibbs MR.  W.  MITCHELL 

Stubbs MR.  BROWNE 

Wiggins MR.   HORNCASTLE 

Scrubbs MR.  RUSSELL 

Barbara MRS.  PLUMER 

Mary MRS.  BAILEY 

Lucinda Miss  RANDOLPH 

[See  next  page  for  the  closing  play.] 


i?.        SHELLEY'S  HISTORY  OF  THE  AMERICAN  STAGE. 

[Continued  from  page  n.] 
SAVAGE    AND    THE    MAIDEN. 

Crummels MR.   MITCHELL 

Nickleby MR.  HORNCASTLE 

Folair , MR.  RUSSELL 

Leuville MR.  S.  JOHNSON 

Smike Miss  SINGLETON 

Mrs.  Crummels MRS.  PLUMER 

Mrs.  Grudden MRS.  JONES 

Miss  Snevellici MRS.  BENSON 

Ninetta ,        LA  PETITE  CELESTE 


BROADWAY    THEATRE, 

Broadway,  near  Worth  Street,  New  York. 


Proprietor,  .  .  .  ALVAH  MANN 

Acting  Manager,  .  .         GEORGE  H.  BARRETT 


OPENING    NIGHT,  SEPT.   27,   1847. 


[Original  Bill  of  Opening.] 

THE    SCHOOL    FOB    SCANDAL. 

Sir  Peter MR.  H.  WALLACK 

Surface MR.  VACHE 

Joseph  Surface MR.  LYNNE 

Charles    Surface GEORGE  BARRETT 

Sir  Benjamin MR.  DAWSON 

Crabtree , C.   W.  HUNT 

Careless   HENRY  HUNT 

Sir  Harry MR.  DENNISON 

Rowley MR.  EVERHARD 

[See  balance  of  this  cast  on  page  13.] 


SHELLEY'S  HISTORY  OF  THE  AMERICAN  STAGE.       13 

[See  balance  of  cast  on  page  12.] 

Snake MR.  KINGSLEY 

Moses GEORGE  CHAPMAN 

Trip E.  SHAW 

Lady  Teazle . Miss  ROSE  TELBIN 

Lady  Sneerwell Miss  FANNY  GORDON 

Mrs.  Candour MRS.  WINSTANLEY 

Maria Miss  SARGEANT 

To  conclude  with 
USED    TIP. 

Mr.  Lester  [afterwards  Lester  Wallack]  will  make  his, 
first  appearance  in  America  as  Sir  Charles  Coldstream. 


PALMO'S    OPERA    HOUSE, 

5T>  53>  55  CHAMBERS  STREET,  NEW  YORK. 


Opening  of  this  New  House  to-night,  for  the  first  time. 

[The  Original  Bill] 

FEBRUARY  3d,  1844. 

THE    OPERA    OF    PURITAN!. 

CAST  AS  FOLLOWS: 

Lord  Walter  Walton SIG.  MAYER 

Lord  Talbot ....  % SIG.    PEROZZI 

Sir  George SIG.  VALTILLINA 

Sir  Richard SIGNORA  MAJOCCHI 

Elvira SIGNORA  BORGHESE 

Henrietta SIGNORA  ALBERTAZZI 

SIGNOR   PALMO Proprietor 

SIGNOR  RAPPETTI Conductor 

General  Director. .  ....  .SIGNOR  VALTELLINI 


14  SHELLEY  S    HISTORY    OF    THE    AMERICAN    STAGE. 

THE    BOWERY    THEATRE. 

CHAS.  GILFERT, Manager 


[Original   Bill.] 

OPENING    NIGHT,    OCTOBER    23d,     1826. 


THE    ROAD    TO 

Gold  Finch MR.  GEORGE  BARRETT 

Old  Dornton MR.  YOUNG 

Harry  Dornton .MR.  DUFF 

Milford. MR.    BERNARD 

Silky MR.  FAULKNER 

Sulky MR.  STONE 

Smith MR.  LOGAN 

Jacob MR.  HYATT 

Widow  Warren MRS  BARRETT 

Sophia MRS.  G.   BRAZIER 

Jenny Miss  BRAZIER 

Mrs.  Ledger, . , .MRS.  ROBERTS 

This  was  the  first  performance  in  this  house. 


BROADWAY    THEATRE. 

E.    A.    MARSHALL,  .  .  .  Manager 


THIS     EVENING,     MAY      IO,      1849, 

MR.    EDWLtf    FORREST 

IN 

MACBETH. 

Macbeth MR.  EDWIN  FORREST 

Macduff ....MR.  F.  B,  CONWAY 

Banquo CHARLES  POPE 

Lady  Macbeth MME.  PONISI 

Duncan MR.    DUFF 

Malcom DOLLY  DAVENPORT 

Hecate .MR.  GROSVENOR 

First  Witch MR.  W.  DAVIDGE 

Second  Witch MR.   WHITING 

Third  Witch..  ,..MR.    BARRY 


This  was  the  night  of  the  Astor  Place  riot,  being 
the  culmination  of  a  serious  misunderstanding  between 
Forrest  and  Macready,  which  had  been  nursed  by  them 
for  several  years. 


16        SHELLEY'S  HISTORY  OF  THE  AMERICAN  STAGE. 

ASTOR    PLACE    OPERA    HOUSE. 

MESSRS.  NIBLO  AND  HACKETT,      .         .         .      Managers 


MAY  IOTH,   1849. 
MR.     WILLIAM    MACREADY 

IN 

MACBETH. 

Macbeth   MR.  MACREADY 

Duncan MR.  WEMYSS 

Malcolm MR.  ARNOLD 

Banquo BRADSHAW 

Lady  Macbeth MRS.  COLEMAN  POPE 

Macduff C.  W.  CLARKE 

Hecate , A.  ANDREWS 

First  Witch F.  CHIPPENDALE 

Second  Witch JOHN  SEFTON 

Third  Witch . .  . .  M.  BRIDGES 


On  the  above  night  the  Macready  and  Forrest  or 
Astor  Place  riot  occurred,  when  twenty-two  innocent 
persons  were  killed,  and  some  thirty-six  were  badly 
wounded. 


CHARLOTTE  CUSHMAN, 


SHELLEY  S    HISTORY    OF    THE    AMERICAN    STAGE.          17 

As  a  matter  of  interest  the  following  cast  is  given  as 

THE    ORIGINAL    CAST    OF    THIS    PLAY: 

PARK    THEATRE,    NEW    YORK. 

NOVEMBER    15,     1829. 

METAMOHA. 

Metamora  (First  time) EDWIN  FORREST 

Lord  Fitzarnold MR.  PETER  RICHINGS 

Arthur  Vaughn HARRY  CHAPMAN 

Guy , MR.  WOODHULL 

Horatio MR.  BARRY 

Errington   MR.  LANGTON 

Church MR.   THOMAS  PLACIDF. 

Wolfe MR.  NIXEM 

Tramp MR.  POVEY 

Holyoke MR.    WHEATLEY 

Kanshene MR.  BLAKELY 

Child Miss  PARKER 

Oceana Miss  HILSON 

Nahmeokee ,  MRS.  SHARPE 


This  piece  was  written  by  Mr  Stone  for  Mr.  Forrest, 
who  paid  the  author  $500.00  for  his  work. 

As  it  may  be  of  interest  to  our  readers  to  know  what 
pieces  were  played  at  the  old  John  Street  Theatre  in 
New  York  during  the  years  1767-8-9,  under  the  man 
agement  of  David  Douglass,  the  following  list  is  sub 
mitted  :  "  The  Lying  Valet,"  "She  Stoops  to  Conquer," 
•'  Miss  in  Her  Teens,"  "  All  the  World's  a  Stage,"  "  Busy 
Body,"  "  Village  Lawyer,"  "Clandestine  Marriage/' 
"Katherine  and  Petruchio,"  "Child  of  Nature/' 
"George  Barnwell,"  "  Three  Weeks  After  Marriage," 
"Inkle  and  Yarico,'1  "No  Song,  No  Supper,"  "Jane 
Shore,"  and  many  others  of  the  same  character. 
14 


j8         SHELLEY'S  HISTORY  OF  THE  AMERICAN  STAGE. 

In  1809  John  Howard  Payne,  author  of  "Home, 
Sweet  Home,"  played  "  Norval "  at  the  Park  Theatre, 
New  York.  In  1813  he  also  appeared  at  the  Drury 
Lane  Theatre,  London,  as  "  Hamlet."  On  his  return  to 
New  York  in  1832  he  f»layed  at  the  Park  Theatre  again 
for  his  own  benefit  and  the  receipts  reached  the  hand 
some  sum  of  $4,300.  The  admissions  were  $t  and 
$5.  He  was  in  1841  appointed  Consul  to  Tunis  and 
died  there  in  1852,  being  59  years  of  age. 


[Original  Bill] 

FRAXKLIN    THEATRE, 

221  AND  223  CHATHAM  STREET,  NEW  YORK. 


Manager,          .  WM.  DINNEFORD 

AARON  PHILLIPS,     .  .  .  Stage  Manager 


OPENING  NIGHT  SEPTEMBER  7,  1835. 


SCHOOL    OF    REFORM. 

Tyke MR.  WILLIAM  SEFTON 

Lord  Avondale CHARLES  WEBB 

Gen'l  Tarragon A.  PHILLIPS 

Ferment MR.  THAYER 

Fredrick MR.  LEWELLEN 

Timothy MR.  J.  S TICKNEY 

Old  Tyke MR.  MADDEN 

Mrs.  Ferment MRS.  W.  RUFUS  BLAKE 

Mrs.  St.  Clair MRB.  STICKNEY 

Julia .Miss  AMELIA  VERITY 

Mrs   Nicely MRS.  STEVENSON 

Other  members  were  John  Sefton,  Mrs.  Duff,  Mrs. 
Kent,  William  Burke,  Jefferson,  father  of  Joseph,  and 
others. 


SHELLEY  S    HISTORY    OF    THE    AMERICAN    STAGE.  19 

As  a  matter  of  interest  we  give  the  names  of  manag 
ers  from  1750  up  to  the  present  time. 

During  the  early  period  of  the  drama  in  this  country 
the  public  were  dependent  on  England  for  talent. 

David  Douglass  and  company  were  the  first  in  this 
country,  arriving  in  the  winter  of  1749  and  opening  the 
Nassau  Street  Theatre  in  1750. 

Murray  and  Kean  with  their  company  were  the  second 
in  this  country,  opening  at  the  Nassau  Street  Theatre 
in  1751. 

Robert  Upton's  company  played  at  the  Nassau  Street 
Theatre  in  1751-2,  being  the  third  manager  in  this  coun 
try. 

Lewis  Hallam  and  company  arrived  in  this  country  in 
1752,  and  played  in  Williamsburg,  Va.,  the  same  year. 

The  fifth  company  came  under  the  management  of 
Mr.  Wignell,  in  1793.  Their  names  were  Messrs.  Fennell, 
Chalmers,  Moreton,  Marshall,  Harewood,  Green,  Bates, 
Whitlock,  Darley,  Blissett,  Warrell,  Mesdames.  Old- 
mixion,  Francis,  Marshall,  Warrell,  and  the  Misses  Wil 
liams  and  Oldfield. 

The  sixth  company  from  England  went  to  Boston,  in 
1794,  with  Mr.  C.  Powell,  who,  with  his  wife,  Mr.  Baker, 
wife  and  daughter,  Mr.  and  Mrs.  John  Collins,  Mr.  and 
Mrs.  A.  W.  Jones,  Bartlett,  Kenny,  S.  Powell,  Nelson, 
Mrs.  Abbott  and  Miss  Amelia  Harrison,  made  an  excel 
lent  combination. 

Messrs.  Hallam  and  Hodgkinson  in  1795  were  the 
cause  of  the  seventh  company  coming  to  this  country, 
which,  although  not  great  in  numbers,  possessed  much 
talent,  and  were  as  follows:  Messrs.  Johnson,  Tyler  and 
Jefferson,  Sr.,  Mesdames  Johnson  and  Tyler,  and  Mrs. 
Brett  and  daughter. 

Manager  Wignell— believing  in  new  attractions — was 


20  SHELLEY  S    HISTORY    OF    THE    AMERICAN    STAGE. 

the  next  to  bring  out  new  faces,  and  in  1796  engaged 
for  his  theatre,  in  Philadelphia,  Messrs.  Cooper,  Bernard 
L'Estrange,  Warren,  Hardinge,  Byrne,  Fox,  Mrs. 
L'Estrange,  Mrs.  Merry,  Mrs.  Byrne  and  Mrs.  Hardinge. 

J.  Dickinson,  of  the  old  Federal  Street  Theatre,  Boston, 
was  induced  by  the  citizens  to  go  to  England  for  people, 
and  in  the  following  year  had  on  his  salary  list  Mr.  and 
Mrs.  Duff,  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Drake,  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Brown, 
Mr.  and  Mrs.  Williams,  C.  Young,  H.  J.  Finn,  Dykes, 
Vaughn,  Caulfield,  Vining,  Entwistle  and  Miss  Drake. 

Cooper  and  Price,  managers  of  the  Park  Theatre,  in 
1807  and  1808,  strengthened  their  stock  by  the  following 
ladies  and  gentlemen  from  London  :  Mr.  and  Mrs. 
Dyott,  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Skerrett,  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Baldwin, 
Mr.  and  Mrs.  Barries,  M.  S.  Stanley,  McFarland,  Watkin- 
son,  Kilner,  Spiller,  Wynne,  J.  Thorn,  Mr.  and  Mrs. 
Barnes,  Mr.  Simpson  and  Miss  Eliza  E.  Ellis. 

Messrs.  Warren  and  Wood,  managers  "of  the  theatres 
in  Philadelphia,  Baltimore  and  Washington,  induced 
Mr.  and  Mrs.  H.  Wallack,  John  Herbert,  Hathwell, 
Wheatley,  McKenzie,  C.  Wemyss  and  Mrs.  Worrell  to 
come  to  this  country  and  try  their  fortunes. 

The  last  company  that  came  here  from  England,  un 
der  engagement,  was  in  1827,  through  C.  Wemyss,  for 
Manager  Warren.  The  members  then  engaged  were 
Messrs.  Sloman,  Southwell,  S.  Chapman,  Mercer,  Hut- 
chings,  Kerr,  Willis  J.  Thompson,  Norton  and  Row- 
botham;  Mesdames  Sloman,  Rowbotham,  Mercer  and 
family,  and  the  Misses  Emory,  Hawthorn  and  Kerr 
Since  that  period  several  artists  have  come  from  the  old 
country,  but  entirely  upon  their  own  responsibility. 
The  stage  in  those  days  seemed  to  have  been  left  entirely 
to  itself,  and  were  it  not  for  the  enterprise  and  perse 
verance  of  the  gentlemen  whom  we  have  spoken  of,  we 


rrarj 


SHELLEY  S    HISTORY    OF    THE    AMERICAN    STAGE. 


21 


would    to-day  be  as   they  are  in   the  remote   rural  dis 
tricts. 

The  first  star  that  ever  appeared  in  this  country  was 
George  Frederick  Cooke,  at  the  Park  Theatre  in  1810. 
The  opening  play  was  that  of  "  Richard  III,"  and  the  re 
ceipts  for 'the  first  night  were  $1,820.  His  last  appear 
ance  was  at  Providence,  Rhode  Island,  in  1812.  In 
September  of  that  year  he  died  in  New  York,  and  was 
buried  in  St.  Paul's  churchyard,  corner  of  Broadway  and 
Vesey  Street.  Edmund  Kean,  in  1821,  while  in  this 
country,  erected  a  monument  to  his  memory,  which  is 
still  standing  and  bears  the  following  inscription  : 


ERECTED  TO  THE  MEMORY 

OF 

GEORGE  FREDERICK  COOKE, 

BY 

EDMUND  KEAN, 

OF     THE 

THEATRE  ROYAL, 
DRURY  LANE,   LONDON, 

1841. 
REPAIRED    BY  CHAS.  KEAN,  Jr., 

In    1846, 

AND  AFTERWARDS  BY 

E.  A.    SOTHERN, 

In    1880. 


The   late  T.    Hamblin   had   the.  management   of  the 
Bowery  Theatre  in  1831.     W.  Ricketts  was  manager  of 


22        SHELLEY'S  HISTORY  OF  THE  AMERICAN  STAGE. 

what  was  then  known  as  Ricketts'  Circus,  in  1797. 
This  place  was  in  Greenwich  Street,  near  Liberty,  and 
was  afterwards  changed  to  a  theatre.  Messrs.  Johnson 
and  Tyler  were  managers  of  the  Park  Theatre  in  1806. 
Messrs.  Barrett  and  Gilfert  occupied  the  same  position 
at  the  Bowery,  in  1829.  James  Wallack,  Sr.,  in  1838, 
had  the  National  Theatre,  which  was  located,  at  that 
time,  corner  of  Leonard  and  Church  Streets.  Hallam 
and  Henry  were  managers  of  the  John  Street  Theatre, 
in  1785.  Mr.  C.  Powell  was  manager  of  the  only 
theatre  in  Boston,  in  1796.  Ryerson  and  Stevens  were 
managers  of  the  old  Chatham  Theatre,  in  1827.  This 
theatre  was  used  afterwards  as  a  church,  then  as  a  gar 
den,  and  was  situated  on  the  ground  on  which  Crook's 
Old  Hotel  or  Dining  Saloon  now  stands.  William 
Warren  was  manager  of  the  Chestnut  Street  Theatre, 
Philadelphia,  in  1847.  The  late  W.-E.  Burton  wasengaged 
at  the  Arch  Street  Theatre,  Philadelphia,  in  1834.  H.Cald- 
well  was  manager  of  a  theatre  at  Petersburg,  Virginia,  in 
1821.  It  was  there  Junius  Brutus  Booth,  the  elder,  com 
menced  his  first  engagement  in  this  country.  The  open 
ing  piece  was  "Richard  III,"  with  Mr.  Booth  in  the  title 
role.  Mr.  B.  Solee  was  manager  of  the  John  Street 
Theatre,  in  1797.  Mr.  C.  Powell  had  the  Haymarket 
Theatre,  Boston,  in  1796;  he  was  also  manager  of  the 
Federal  Street  Theatre,  Boston,  in  1797.  Mr.  H.  Placide 
was  manager  of  the  Charleston  Theatre  Charleston, 
South  Carolina,  in  1802.  Manager  Williard  had  the 
Olympic  in  New  York,  in  1838.  This  place  was  after 
wards  known  as  Mitchell's  Olympic.  It  was  here  W. 
Hoare  Bellamy  made  his  first  appearance  in  this 
country,  under  the  management  of  Mr.  Williard. 

In    1828   Messrs.   Williard  &  Flynn   had  the  National 
Theatre,    corner   Church    and    Leonard    streets.       Mr. 


SHELLEY'S  HISTORY  OF  THE  AMERICAN  STAGE.       23 

Charles  Burke  made  his  first  appearance  here,  in  the 
same  year,  as  the  Prince  of  Wales  in  ''Richard  the 
Third  ;"  he  was  then  six  years  of  age. 

Mr.  Joseph  Baldwin  was  the  first  to  introduce  bur 
lesque  singing  in  the  United  States. 

Mr.  E.  S.  Conner  was  manager  of  the  Arch  Street 
Theatre,  Philadelphia,  in  1851.  Miss  Georgmia  Barrett 
made  her  debut  here  and  was  considered  quite  success 
ful  ;  she  afterwards  became  the  wife  of  Mr.  P.  Warren, 
who  was  then  treasurer  of  the  Broadway  Theatre, 
New  York. 

Mr.  Barrere,  in  1824,  was  manager  of  the  old  Chatham 
Theatre,  and  was  the  first  to  give  Mr.  Rufus  Blake  a 
chance  in  this  country,  who  appeared  on  the  first  night 
as  Frederick  in  the  '*  Poor  Gentleman." 

Messrs.  Coyle  &  Lamb  were  managers  of  the  Arch 
S'reet  Theatre,  Philadelphia,  in  1831,  and  introduced 
Mrs.  J.  B.  Booth,  Sr.,  (being  her  first  appearance  on  the 
American  stage)  as  Susan  Ashfield  in  "Speed  the  Plough." 

Mr.  Sandford  managed  the  Lafayette  Theatre,  New- 
York,  in  1826. 

Mr.  Pelby  was  manager  of  the  Warren  Street  Theatre, 
Boston,  in  1832. 

In  1836,  Maywood  &  Company  were  managers  of  the 
Chestnut  Street  Theatre,  Philadelphia. 

Mr.  James  H.  Caldwell  was  proprietor  and  manager 
of  the  St.  Charles  Theatre,  New  Orleans,  Louisiana,  in 
1836. 

Mr.  W.  E.  Burton,  in  1849,  was  manager  of  the  Arch 
Street  Theatre,  Philadelphia. 

Messrs.  Dunlap,  Cooper  &  Price  were  managers  of  the 
Park  Theatre,  in  New  York,  in  1810,  and  were  the  first 
to  introduce  the  starring  system  in  this  country. 

Manager  Holman  ran  the  Charleston  Theatre,  Charles- 


24        SHELLEY'S  HISTORY  OF  THE  AMERICAN  STAGE. 

ton,  South  Carolina,  in  1816.  It  was  here  James  H. 
Caldwell  made  his  first  appearance  in  this  country,  after 
which  he  opened  the  Columbia  Theatre,  in  Washington, 
District  of  Columbia,  and  for  a  while  it  was  known  as 
Caldwell's  Theatre.  This  was  during  the  season  of  1817, 
one  year  after  his  first  appearance.  We  next  hear  of 
him  in  New  Orleans,  where,  in  1820,  he  was  manager  of 
the  St.  Charles  Theatre,  and  was  successful  for  many 
years.  In  1842  the  theatre  was  consumed  by  fire.  The 
following  year  he  retired  from  the  stage  altogether. 

Messrs.  Williard  &  Flynn  were  managers  of  the  Chat 
ham  Street  Theatre  in  1826.  It  was  at  this  place  Mr. 
N.  B.  Clarke  made  his  debut  ;  was  in  1871  acting  as 
stage  manager  of  the  Old  Bowery  Theatre,  under  Mr. 
W.  B.  Freligh. 

P.  T.  Barnum  was  manager  of  what  was  then  called 
Barnum's  Museum,  in  1850. 

It  was  during  Manager  Gilfert's  management  of  the 
Bowery  Theatre,  in  1827,  Mademoiselle  Celeste  made 
her  first  appearance. 

Henry  Hallam  managed  the  old  South  Street  Theatre, 
in  Philadelphia,  in  1785. 

Mr.  William  Duffy  had  the  Pearl  Street  Theatre,  in 
Albany,  this  State,  in  1822,  and  was  manager  of  the 
Arch  Street  Theatre,  Philadelphia,  in  conjunction  with 
Messrs.  Jones  &  Forrest  (not  Edwin),  in  1830  ;  also  man 
ager  of  the  Eagle  Theatre,  Buffalo,  this  State,  in 

1835- 

Mr.  J.  S.  Jones  held  the  management  of  the  Tremont 
Street  Theatre,  Boston,  Massachusetts,  in  1841,  but 
shortly  afterward  retired  to  private  life. 

Messrs.  Simpson  &  Cowell  were  managers  of  the  Arch 
Street  Theatre,  Philadelphia,  in  1827.  Mrs.  John  Drew, 
who  is  now  manageress,  made  her  first  appearance  here 


SHELLEY'S  HISTORY  OF  THE  AMERICAN  STAGE.       25 

in  this  country,  as  the  Duke  of  York,  in  "  Richard  the 
Third  "  ;  she  was  then  seven  years  of  age. 

Messrs.  Duffy  &  Forrest  (not  Edwin)  managed  the 
Albany  Theatre,  at  Albany,  in  this  State,  in  1830. 

Mr.  A.  W.  Jackson  had  the  Bowery  Theatre  in  1845  ; 
it  was  here  John  Drew  made  his  debut  as  Dr.  O'Toole, 
in  the  "  Irish  Tutor" — ''shall  we  ever  look  upon  his  like 
again." 

Mr.  Mitchell  had  what  was  then  known  as  Mitchell's 
Olympic,  444  Broadway,  in  1846. 

Mr.  Alvah  Mann  was  the  first  to  open  the  Broadway 
Theatre,  which  he  did  in  1847. 

F.  C.  Wemyss  opened  the  Front  Street  Theatre,  in 
Baltimore,  Maryland,  in  1840. 

Mr.  N.  Sandford,  who  afterwards  became  Judge  of  one 
of  the  civil  courts,  was,  in  1826,  manager  of  the  Lafay 
ette  Theatre. 

Joshua  Sillsbee  was  manager  of  the  Philadelphia  Mu 
seum,  afterward  known  as  Barnum's,  in  1848  ;  it  was 
burnt  down  in  1851,  under  P.  T.  Barnum. 

Mr.  J.  N.  Olney,  in  1838,  was  manager  of  the  Kingston 
Theatre,  West  Indies. 

Augustus  W.  Fenno,  manager  of  the  Troy,  New 
York,  Museum,  in  1850. 

Aaron  Phillips,  in  1829,  had  the  Arch  Street  Theatre, 
Philadelphia. 

Mr.  William  Forrest,  brother  to  Mr.  Edwin  Forrest, 
was  in  partnership  with  Jones  &  Duffy,  at  the  Arch  Street 
Theatre,  Philadelphia,  also  at  Albany,  New  York,  in  the 
Pearl  Street  Theatre. 

The  tragedy  of  "  Ion  "  was  first  produced  at  the 
Covent  Garden  Theatre,  London,  on  the  night  of  Mr. 
Macready's  benefit,  May  26th,  1836,  and  was  a  success. 


26        SHELLEY'S  HISTORY  OF  THE  AMERICAN  STAGE. 

The  cast  at  that  time  included  Mr.  Macready,   and  was 
distributed  in  the  following  manner  : 

IOX. 

Ion MR.  MACREA^Y 

Adrastus MR.  DALE 

Ctesephon MR.  WALLACK 

Casander MR.  HOWARD 

Agenor MR.  PRITCHARD 

Timocles MR.  HARRIS 

Irus Miss  LANE 

Clementhe Miss  ELLEN  TREE 

Mrs.  Charles  Kean  was  the  "Ion,"  and  Mr.  Charles 
Kean  the  "Adrastus,"  at  the  Park,  New  York,  in  1846. 

The  tragedy  of  "  Fazio  "  was  written  about  the  year 
1817,  by  Henry  Hart  Milman,  who  was  born  in  London, 
Feb.  loth,  1791. 

Hallam  &  Henry  were  managers  of  the  Southwark 
Theatre,  Philadelphia,  in  1790;  in  the  spring  of  the 
same  year  Mr.  John  Hodgkinson  appeared  there  in  the 
part  of  Belcour  in  the  "  West  Indian,"  quite  a  famous 
play  in  those  days. 

Mr.  Harper  was  manager  of  the  Nassau  Street  Theatre, 
New  York,  in  1726,  and  was  the  first  who  played  Falstaff 
in  this  country  at  the  old  John  Street  Theatre,  in  1785. 

Mr.  C.  Gilfert,  who  managed  the  Bowery  Theatre  in 
1828,  was  the  first  to  give  the  late  George  Holland  a 
chance  to  display  his  talents  in  this  country;  over  six 
decades  have  passed  since  then. 

James  Henry  Hackett,  the  "  Falstaff,"  of  that  period, 
was  joint  manager  with  Mr.  Niblo  of  the  Astor  Place 
Opera  House,  in  1849,  and  it  was  during  their  manage 
ment  the  riot  which  was  brought  about  by  a  misunder 
standing  between  Messrs.  Forrest  &  Macready  occurred. 


SHELLEY'S  HISTORY  OF  THE  AMERICAN  STAGE.        27 

In  1852,  Mr.  Hackett  was  manager  of  the  Bowery 
Theatre. 

Mr.  B.  Twaits  was  manager  of  what  was  then  known, 
in  1813,  as  the  Broadway  Circus,  situated  on  the  north 
east  corner  of  Broadway  and  White  street;  it  was  after 
wards  converted  into  a  theatre  by  this  gentleman,  who 
paid  to  Mrs.  Gilfert  (nee  Holman)  the  sum  of  $200  per 
night,  for  seven  nights.  The  management  shortly  after 
wards  gave  up  the  place,  and  no  wonder,  if  he  paid  all 
his  people  pro  rata. 

In  1817  Messrs.  Warren  &  Wood  had  the  Chestnut 
Street  Theatre,  Philadelphia.  Messrs.  Maywood  &  Pratt 
had  the  same  theatre  in  1838;  when  Mr.  George  C.  How 
ard,  of  l(  Uncle  Tom's  Cabin  "  fame,  made  his  first  ap 
pearance  on  the  American  stage.  Mr.  Howard  in  1852 
became  manager  of  the  Troy  Museum,  and  produced, 
for  the  first  time,  the  above  named  drama  to  the  largest 
business  ever  played  in  that  city. 

Collins  &  Jones  were  managers  of  a  theatre  in  Cincin 
nati,  in  1821. 

Frank  Chanfrau  was  manager  of  the  Chatham  or 
National  Theatre  in  Chatham  street,  in  1848. 

Mr.  Charles  Porter  was  manager  of  the  Old  Pittsburgh 
Theatre,  1849.  Mr.  Charles  Barton  Hill  made  his  first 
appearance  on  the  American  stage  at  this  house,  at  the 
time  stated. 

The  Chestnut  Street  Theatre,  Philadelphia,  in  1831, 
was  under  the  management  of  Coyle  &  Lamb  ;  and  dur 
ing  the  season  Mrs.  Bradshaw,  who  was  considered  at 
that  time  one  of  the  most  beautiful  women  on  the  stage, 
made  her  first  appearance  in  the  ballet. 

Mr.  H.  Adams  was  manager  of  the  Olympic,  444  Broad 
way,  New  York,  in  1839  ;  Mrs.  H.  P.  Grattan  made  her 
first  appearance  in  this  country  at  this  u^uoc,  aud  ere- 


28        SHELLEY'S  HISTORY  OF  THE  AMERICAN  STAGE. 

ated  quite  an  impression.  The  manager  being  of  a  spec 
ulative  turn  of  mind  gave  up  the  drama,  started  for  the 
great  Salt  Lake  City,  and  became  a  Mormon  preacher. 

Messrs.  Carr  &  Warren  had  the  principal  theatre  in 
Buffalo,  in  1850. 

Messrs.  Simpson  &  Cowell  were  managers  of  the  Wal 
nut  Street  Theatre,  Philadelphia,  in  1827. 

F.  W.  Dana  was  manager  of  the  Tremont  Street  The 
atre,  Boston,  Massachusetts,  in  1828;  Mr.  John  G.  Gil 
bert  made  his  first  appearance  here,  it  being  his  native 
city;  his  opening  piece  was  "  Venice  Preserved,"  in 
which  he  appeared  as  Jaffier  ;  during  Mr.  T.  Hamblin's 
management  of  the  Park  Theatre,  New  York,  in  1848, 
he  was  playing  there;  the  engagement  was  of  short  dura 
tion,  as  the  theatre  was  burned  down  the  same  year. 

Manager  Meech  had  the  Albany  Museum  in  1848  ;  it 
was  here  the  late  Charles  Salisbury  graduated,  and  as  a 
practical  joker  his  equal  could  not  be  found,  either  in 
his  day  or  the  present;  who  has  not  heard  of  the  trick 
he  played  on  Mr.  Forrest  while  standing  over  his  pros 
trate  body,  or  his  remark  while  arm  in  arm  with  mana 
gers  Carr  and  Warren?  or — well,  we  might  fill  a  book 
with  the  anecdotes  of  this  joker,  had  we  the  time  ;  but, 
like  many  other  prominent  members,  he  has  left  this 
world  of  care  and  sorrow  for,  we  trust,  a  happier  one. 

Mr.  Charles  Thorne,  Sr.,  managed  the  Federal  Street 
Theatre,  Boston,  in  1849  ;  Miss  Alice  Gray,  who  after 
wards  became  quite  a  prominent  actress,  made  her  first 
appearance  here. 

Mr.  John  Green  was  manager  of  the  Nashville  The 
atre,  Nashville,  Tennessee,  in  1852;  was  at  one  time  en 
gaged  in  Philadelphia. 

Mr.  H.  P.  Grattan  was  manager  of  the  old  Greenwich 
Street  Theatre,  in  New  York,  in  1843;  afterwards  man- 


JENNY  LIND  as  she  appeared  ID    1851. 


SHELLEY'S  HISTORY  OF  THE  AMERICAN  STAGE.       29 

aged  the  Nashville  Theatre  in  1852;  he  was  a  very  good 
actor  in  his  day,  and  previous  to  going  on  the  stage  con 
tributed  articles  to  many  newspapers. 

Mr.  Lewis  Hallam.  who  came  here  in  1752,  and  opened 
in  Williamsburg,  Virginia,  died  at  Kingston,  Jamaica, 
in  1756. 

Mr.  Joseph  G.  Holman  was  the  first  manager  in 
Charleston,  South  Carolina  ;  he  died  at  Far  Rockaway, 
L.  I.,  in  1817;  he  was  the  second  star  in  this  country, 
Mr.  George  Frederick  Cook  being  the  first. 

Before  proceeding  further  with  the  drama  in  New 
York,  we  will  give  a  list  of  the  theatres  first  built. 

The  Nassau  Street  Theatre  was  the  first  built  in  New 
York  in  1749-50. 

The  second  was  built  on  Cruger's  Wharf,  between  Old 
Slip  and  Coffee  House  Slip,  in  1758. 

The  third  was  at  26  Beekman  Street,  near  Nassau, 
erected  in  1761. 

The  fourth  place  for  dramatic  performances  was  at  15 
John  Street,  near  Broadway. 

The  fifth  theatre,  and  the  only  one  up  to  that  time 
deserving  the  name,  was  the  Park  Theatre,  now  opposite 
the  General  Post  Office,  which  opened  in  1798,  under  the 
management  of  Dunlap  and  Hodginson,  with  "  As  You 
Like  It."  Was  consumed  by  fire  in  1820,  and  ruined  to 
a  great  extent  its  managers.  In  1822  it  was  rebuilt  and 
opened  by  Price  &  Simpson,  and  again  in  1848  the  fire 
fiend  visited  it,  an  i  nothing  but  a  mass  of  blackened 
ruins  was  left  to  mark  the  spot  on  which  it  stood.  Stores 
now  occupy  the  ground,  and  everything  seems  changed 
since  then.  Its  location  in  Park  Row,  near  Ann  Street, 
at  the  time  was  considered  well  up  town. 

The  sixth  theatre  was  called  the  Mount  Vernon  Gar 
dens,  on  west  side  of  Broadway,  a  few  doors  north  of 


30         SHELLEY'S  HISTORY  OF  THE  AMERICAN  STAGE. 

Leonard  Street,  and  built  by  Joseph  Corre,  July  9, 
1800. 

The  seventh  Theatre  was  the  Anthony  Street  Theatre, 
(now  called  Worth  Street,)  erected  in  1815.  It  was  here 
Edmund  Kean,  the  English  tragedian,  made  his  first 
appearance  in  America,  and,  sad  to  relate,  was  treated  by 
the  public  in  a  shameful  manner. 

The  eighth  theatre  was  the  Chatham  Garden,  on  Chat 
ham  Street,  on  the  site  of  Crook's  Hotel,  built  in  1824, 

The  ninth  theatre  built  was  called  the  Lafayette  Thea 
tre,  afte:  the  general  of  that  name.  It  was  situated  in 
Canal  Street  and  South  Fifth  Avenue,  north-east  sid  , 
and  was  destroyed  by  fire  in  1829. 

The  tenth  theatre  was  the  old  Bowery,  built  in  1826, 
and  opened  by  Gilfert;  burnt  down  in  1836,  1838  and 

1845- 

The  eleventh  was  the  Richmond  Hill  Theatre,  in  Varick 
Street,  corner  Charlton.  Was  pulled  down  in  1849. 

The  twelfth  theatre  was  built  corner  of  Leonard  and 
Church  Streets.  Was  burned  down  while  under  the 
management  of  James  Wallack  in  1839;  was  rebuilt  in 
1840,  and  leased  by  W.  E.  Burton,  whose  term  was 
shortened  to  one  year  in  consequence  of  the  place  having 
for  the  second  time  come  to  grief  through  fire  and  water. 

The  thirteenth  was  the  Olympic,  444  Broadway,  in  1827. 

The  fourteenth  was  the  old  Franklin,  221  and  223 
Chatham  Street,  in  1835. 

The  fifteenth  was  the  old  Chatham  Theatre,  or  National 
Theatre,  built  in  1839,  corner  of  Roosevelt  Street. 

The  Chatham  Street  Theatre  was  opened  by  Flynn  & 
Williard,  September  n,  1839,  for  the  purpose  of  dividing 
the  patronage  of  amusement  seekers  with  the  Olympic 
Theatre,  Niblo's,  the  National,  and  the  Bowery. 

The  company  comprised  Messrs.  J.  R.  Scott,  Barnes, 


SHELLEY'S  HISTORY  OF  THE  AMERICAN  STAGE.        31 

Harrison,  Stevens,  Jones;  Mrs.  Bannister,  Mrs.  Flynn, 
and  Mrs.  Jones. 

Mr.  C.  R.  Thorne,  Jr.,  succeeded  to  the  management  in 
March,  1840,  and  during  his  first  season  played  Blake, 
Yankee  Hill,  Harry  Wallack,  the  elder  Booth,  and  Mme. 
Celeste.  He  also  played  Forrest,  Henry  Placide,  Ade 
laide  Phillips,  Brougham,  Silsbee,  and  Vandenhoff. 

Mr.  Thorne  was  succeeded  in  the  management  by  Mr. 
W.  S.  Duverna  in  1843.  He  presented  Burton  as  a  star, 
in  a  round  of  comedy,  commencing  with  "  Money, "  Mr. 
B.  playing  "  Graves,"  Mr.  Hield  being  the  "  Alfred." 

The  company  comprised  Messrs.  George  Jamieson, 
Barney  Williams,  J.  M.  Scott,  Mrs.  Greene,  and  Mrs. 
Jones. 

Attached  to  this  theatre  were  the  Virginia  Minstrels, 
consisting  of  Barney  Williams,  Whitlock,  T.  G.  Booth, 
and  H.  Mestayer,  who  gave  a  characteristic  incidental 
entertainment  which  was  much  enjoyed.  Mr.  Williams 
made  a  specialty  of  his  delineations  of  Ethiopian  eccen 
tricities;  he  first  essayed  Irish  characters  at  the  benefit  of 
the  Virginia  Minstrels,  playing  "  O'Smirk  "  in  "  Dumb 
Belle." 

Mr.  Chanfrau  first  came  into  notice  here,  playing 
"Laertes"  to  Mr.  J.  Wallack,  Jr.'s  "Hamlet,"  in  1844. 
[He  did  not  make  his  hit  at  Mitchell's  Olympic  Theatre 
as  "Mose"  till  1848.] 

In  1845,  Mr.  Ben.  De  Bar  joined  Duverna  in  the  man 
agement,  assuming  charge  of  the  stage,  but  only  remained 
with  him  one  season;  the  principal  production  of  which 
was  "  Rookwood,"  with  H.  A.  Perry. 

In  1846,  J.  H.  Roberts  and  the  Denin  Sisters  were 
introduced. 

In  1847,  Miss  Fanny  Herring,  then  15  years  old, 
appeared.  During  this  season,  Manager  Duverna  fell 


32  SHELLEY  S    HISTORY    OF    THE    AMERICAN    STAGE. 

from  a  private  box  during  a  rehearsal,  and  subsequently 
died  from  his  injuries.  Mr,  Fletcher  was  his  successor 
in  the  management.  Chanfrau  and  Lester  Wallack  were 
his  principal  engagements. 

Mr.  Chanfrau  assumed  the  management  in  1849,  and 
changed  the  name  to  that  of  the  New  National  Theatre. 
Mr.  Charles  Burke  officiated  as  acting  manager.  J.  R. 
Scott  in  tragedy;  Mr.  Chanfrau  in  his  specialties,  and 
Mrs.  Charles  R.  Thorne,  Mr.  Corson  W.  Clark,  father  of 
Harry  and  William  Clark,  Jr.,  and  Mr.  Charles  Burke 
were  the  important  announcements. 

In  1849  the  company  comprised  Burke,  Jefferson,  and 
Mrs.  Charles  Mestayer.  Mrs.  Bowers  appeared  during 
the  season,  and  on  the  occasion  of  her  benefit  her  sister, 
Mrs.  F.  B.  Conway,  made  her  debut. 

In  1850  Mr.  Chanfrau  resigned  the  management  to 
his  acting-manager,  A.  H.  Purdy,  who  continued  in 
power  eight  years.  The  principal  engagements  during 
his  first  season  were  W.  Marshall,  Barney  Williams, 
Jefferson,  Chanfrau,  and  H.  A.  Perry. 


The  few  pages  and  illustrations  presented  here  of 
*'  Shelley's  History  of  the  Stage  from  1750  to  1891  "  are 
merely  to  give  some  idea  of  the  character  of  the  work 
when  published.  Booksellers  and  newsdealers  will 
have  it  on  sale  shortly.  The  prices  for  it  will  be  in 
cloth,  $2.00,  and  in  fine  leather,  $2.50.  Advance  orders 
for  it  can  be  sent  in  now  without  pre-payment.  When 
ready  for  delivery  it  will  be  sent  by  mail  or  express 
C.  O.  D.  Address  the  author,  M.  M.  SHELLEY,  138 
Cambridge  Place,  Brooklyn,  N.  Y, 


JUNIUS  BRUTUS  BOOTH  as  OTHELLO. 


Directory  of  the  Stage. 


Anderson,  Mary,  (Dramat'c  Star)  born  in  Sacramento,  Cal 1859 

Abbott,  Emma,  (Lyric  Star)  born  in  Chicago,  Ills 1849 

Albani,  Emma,  (Lyric  Star)  burn  in  Canada 1850 

Albaugh,  John  W.,  (Manager)  Baltimore 1838 

Aldrich,  Louis,  (Manager  and  Star)  Olrio 1843 

Ardit'i,  Luigi,  (Musician)  Piedmont,  Italy 1823 

A  therton,  Alic  •,  (Stock)  Cincinnati,  Ohio 1854 

Bangs,  Frank  C.,  (Stock)  Alexandria.  V.i 1836 

B  irnum,  P  T  ,  (Manager)  Danburv.  Ct 1810 

Bateman,  Kate,  (Star)  Baltimore,  Md    1842 

Barrett,  Lawrence,  (Star)  Paterson,  N.  J 1838 

Be  nhart,  Sara,  (Star)  Paris 1840 

Boniface,  George  C..  (Stock 'Star)  England 1831 

Booth,  Mrs.  Junius  Brutus,  Sen.,  England 1803 

Booth,  Agnes,  (Stock  Star)  Au-tralia 1843 

Booth,  Edwin,  (Star)  Belair,  Md.   ...     1833 

Boucicault,  Dion   (Star  find  Author)  Dublin,  Ireland 1822 

Bowers,  Mrs.  D.  P  ,  (Star)  Stamford,  (  t 1830 

B:-ocolini,  Sig.  J. ,  (Lyric)  London,  England 1845 

Brooke,  Gustavus,  England 1815 

Bryant.  Dan,  (Manager)  Troy 1833 

Brougham,  John,  (Star  and  Author)  Dublin,  In  land 1824 

Buckstoue,  J  B  ,  (Manager)  England 1802 

Burgess  Neil,  (Star  and  Manage  )  Boston,  Mass 1846 

Bur  on,  William,  (Star  and  Manager)  England 1815 

Campanino,  Italo,  (Lyric)  Parma,  Italy 1846 

Carroll,  R.  M  ,  (Minstrel)  New  York 1838 

Cavella,  Harry,   Stock  Star)  Frederick.  Md 1848 

Chanf rau,  Mrs.  F.  S. ,  (Star)  Philadelphia 1837 

Chanf  rau,  Mr.  F.  S. ,  (Star)  New  York 1824 

Clarke,  George,  (Stock  Star)  Brooklyn,  N.  Y 1840 

Clarke,  John  S.,  (Manager  and  Star)  Baltimore,  Md 1835 

Claxton,  Kaf  e.  (Star)  New  York        1 848 

Cody,  Col.  William  F.,  (Manager)  Iowa 1845 

Coghlan.  Rose,  (Star)  England 1853 

Couldock,  C.  W  ,  (Star)  England 1815 

Crabtree.  Lotti,  (Star)  New  York 1847 

Crane,  William  H. ,  (Star)  Leicester,  Mass 1845 

Cushrnan,  Charlotte,  (Star)  Boston 1814 

Daly,  Augustin,  (Manager  and  Author)  New  York 1838 

Damrosch.  J.  Walter.  (Musical  Leader)  Prussia 1860 

Davenport,  Mrs.  E.  L  (Stock)  Boston 1829 

D  tvenport,  E.  L  ,  (Sta.' )  Boston,  Mass 1829 

Davenport,  Fanny,  (Star)  England 1850 

Dodwo-th,  Harvey  B.,  (Band-le»der)  England 1831 

DorK  J.  B  .  (Manager)  New  Hampshire 1847 

Douglass.  David,  (Manager)  England % 1719 

Dugan,  B.  F.,  (Manager;  New  York , 1838 


DIRECTORY  OF  THE  STAGE,— Continued. 

Florence,  Mrs.  W. ,  (Star)  New  York 1835 

Florence,  William.  (Star)  Albany,  N.  Y 1831 

FiMyne,  Frank  I,  (Star) Kentucky 1838 

Freleigh.  B.  William.  (Manager)  New  York 1833 

Forrest,  Edwin,  (star)  Philadelphia 1806 

Gilmore  E.  G. ,  (Manager)  Massachusetts 1841 

Hart,  John,  (Stock  Minstrel)  Pittsburg 1840 

Hild.  J.  J  ,  (Manager)  England 1860 

Hill,  J.  M  ,  (Manager)  Maine 1846 

Holmes,  J.  W.  (Manager)  Boston 1840 

Hallam,  Lewis,  (Manager  and  Actor)  England 1718 

Jacobs,  H.  R.,  (Manager)  England 1838 

Jefferson,  Joseph.  (Star)  Philadelphia 1829 

Keene,  Thomas  W.,  (Star)  New  York 1840 

Kellogg,  Clara  Lou'se,  (Lyric  Star)  South  Carolina 1842 

Kelcey,  H.  L.  (stock)  England  1855 

Kendall,  Mrs.  W.  II.,  (Star)  England 1849 

Kendall,  Mr.  W.  H  ,  (Star)  England 1840 

Knowles,  Edwin.  (Star  and  Manager)  Hamlet,  R.  1 1845 

Langtry,  Mrs.  Lilly,  (Star)  England 1850 

Lee,  Henry,  (Stock)  New  York 1856 

Lewis,  Catharine  (S'ock  Star)  Wales 1856 

Lewis,  James,  (Stock  Star)  Troy,  N.  Y 1839 

Logan,  Eliza,  (Star)  Philadelphia 1825 

Lucca,  Pauline,  (Lyric  Star)  Vienna 1840 

M  tckaye,  Steele,  (Manager)  Buffalo,  N.  Y 1843 

Modern.  Minnie,  (S'ar)  New  Orleans 1862 

Mautell.  R.  B  .  (Star)  Scotland 1854 

Martinet,  Sadie,  (Lyric)  Yonkers,  N.  Y 1 857 

Mathews  Charles,  Sen.,  (Star)  England 1776 

Mather,  Margaret.  (Star)  Detroit,  Mich 1860 

Mayo  Frank,  (Star)  B  >ston,  Mass 1839 

Melville,  James,  (Equestrian)  Australia 1837 

Miner,  Harry,  (Manager)     1 845 

Mitchell,  William,  (Manager)  England 1798 

Mitchell,  Maggie,  (Star)  New  York 1839 

Modjeska,  H-len,  (Star)  Poland     1844 

Morris,  Clara,  (Star)  Cleveland,  Ohio 1846 

Murdock,  James  E. ,  (Star)  Philadelphia 1812 

Murphy.  Jos  ^ph.  (Srar)  Brooklyn,  N.  Y 1839 

McCready,  Charles  W.,  (Si ar)  England 179;} 

McCullough,  John,  (Stir)  Ireland 1837 

McVicker.  J.  H.,  (Manager)  New  York 1832 

Nilsson,  Christine,  (Star)  Sweden 1843 

Palmer,  A.  M.,  (Manager)  North  Stonington,  Ct 1838 

Pastor,  Antouio,  (Manager)  New  York 1840 

Patti.  Adelina,  (Lyric  Star)  Madrid,  Spain 1843 

Patti,  Cjrlotta,  (Lyric)  France 1840 

Pike,  L.  B.,  (Treasure*)  New  York 1838 

Pike,  Morris,  (Stock)  New  York 1837 

Pixley,  Annie,  (Star)  New  York 1856 


DIRECTORY  OF  THE  STAGE.— Continued. 

Ponisi,  Madame,  (Star)  England 1825 

Proctor,  Joseph,  (Star)  Marlboro,  Mass 1816 

Rankin,  McKee,  (Star)  Canada. 1840 

Raymond,  John  T.,  (Star)  Utica,  N.  Y 1837 

Rehan,  Ada,  (Stock  Star)  England  1860 

Rh^a,  Mille.,  (Star)  Brussels   1855 

Kiatori,  Adelaide,  (Star)  Italy 1821 

Rice,  Dan,  (Manager  and  Clown)  New  York 1824 

Ryer,  George,  (Manager)  New  York 1844 

Robinson,  James,  (Equestrian)  Massachusetts 1838 

Robson,  Stewart,  (Star)  Annapolis,  Md 1836 

Roze,  Marie,  (Lyric)  Paris 1846 

Russell,  Lillian  (Star)  Iowa 1860 

Rus-ell,  Sol  Smith.  Missouri 1848 

Salvii.i,  To-naso,  (Star)  Italy 1830 

Scanlon,  W.  J  ,  (Star)  Springfield,  Mass 1856 

Siddons.  Mrs.  Scott,  (Star)  India 1843 

Sinn,  William  E  ,  (Manager)  Georgetown,  Md 1838 

Sothern,  Edward  A. ,  (Star)  England 1830 

Stevenson,  C.  A.,  (Manager)  Ireland 1841 

Stoddart,  J.  H.,  Glasgow,  Scotland 1827 

Studley,  J.  B. ,  (Stock  Star)  Boston 1832 

Sullivan,  Barry.  (Star)  England 1824 

Stone,  Eaton,  (Equestrian)  Burlington,  Vt 1819 

Tearl,  Osmond,  (Stock  S  ar)  England 1850 

Terry.  Ellen,  (Stock  Star)  England 1845 

Tornpkins,  Eugene,  (Manager)  Boston 1850 

Thompson,  Lydia,  (Star)  London 1840 

Thompson,  Charlotte,  (Stock  Star)  England 1843 

Thompson,  Denman,  (Star)  Girard,  Pa 1833 

Thompson,  James  Scafe,  (Stock)  Philadelphia 1839 

Thursby,  Emma,  (L\  ric  Star)  Brooklyn,  N.  Y 1857 

Ward,  Artemus,  (Writer  and  Showman)  Maine 1836 

Wallack,  Lester  J.,  (Star  and  Manager)  New  York 1819 

Warde,  Frederick,  (Star)  England 1851 

Wheatley,  William,  (Manager  Actor)  New  York 1816 

White,  Charles,  (Minstrel)  New  York 1827 

Williams,  Barney,  (Star)  Ireland 1823 

Williams,  Mr*.  Barney,  (star)  New  York 1829 

Wilson,  Charles  A. ,  (Manager)  Meadville,  Pa 1838 

Worth,  E.  M. ,  (Manager)  Delaware,  Ohio 1838 

In  "Shelley's  History  of  the  Stage  "  will  be  found  a  complete 
directory  of  managers,  stars  and  players,  pieces  performed,  with 
all  the  original  playbills;  theatres  with  their  location,  streets  and 
numbers,  when  erected,  from  1750  (two  years  before  Hallam's 
time)  to  the  present.  Handsomely  illustrated.  Price  in  cloth, 
$2.00  ;  in  fine  leather,  flexible  or  stiff  binding,  gilt  edges,  for 
library,  $2.50;  can  be  had  of  all  booksellers  when  published. 
Orders  for  early  copies  can  be  addressed  to  the  author,  M.  M. 
Shelley,  138  Cambridge  place,  Brooklyn,  N.  Y.,  without  pre-pay- 
nient.  The  work  will  be  sent  C.  O  D,  by  mail  or  express,  as  ioon 
as  published. 


KING  HENRY  the  VIII  and  CATHARINE  PARR 


stem  Railway, 


THE  SHORTEST  &  BEST  EQUIPPED  EOUTE 

BETWEEN 

Chicago  and  Omaha,  Denver,  Salt  Lake, 
Portland  and  San  Francisco. 

Ik/lost    HDirect    aaa.dL    ^opij-la-r    Xjizie 
ALSO  TO 

Milwaukee,  St.  Paul,   Minneapolis,  Ash 

land,  Duluth  and  North  Mich- 
4  igan  Points. 

ONLY  ROUTE  TO  BLACK  HILLS. 


W.  A.  THRALL, 

General  Passenger  and  Ticket  Agent, 

CHICAGO,  ILL. 

H.  A.  GROSS, 

General  Eastern  Passenger  Agent, 

423  BROADWAY,  NEW  YORK,  N.  TT. 


PETOSYLVANIA  RAILROAD. 

<• 

The  Great  Trunk  Line  of  the  United  States. 
THE  STANDARD  RAILWAY  OF  AMERICA ! 

JDOTTBILIE:  TIEI-^CIE^  i  s  TIE  IE  HL,  S..A.IX-SI 

STONE  BALLAST  AND  STONE  BRIDGES. 
Protected  throughout  by  tlie 

Interlocking  Switch  &  Block-Signal  System. 

THE  SCENIC  LINE  TO  THE  WEST, 
and  the  route  of  the 

CELEBRATED  PENNSYLVANIA  LIMITED, 
The  I  lira  9  Train  or  the  Nineteenth  Century 

Which  leaves  New  York  daily  at  10.00  A.  M. 
For  Cincinnati  and  Chicago. 


Five  Fast  Express  Trains  Daily  between 
HEW  YORK  AND    WESTERN    POINTS. 

Twelve  Fast  Express  Trains  between 

NEW  YORK,  BALTIMORE,  WASHINGTON  &  SOUTHERN  POUTS, 

Finest  Equipment, 

Unequalled  Speed, 

and  Greatest  Comfort. 

Through  Parlor,  Sleeping  &  Dining'Cars  on  all  Express  Trains. 


CHARLES  E.  PUGH,  J.  R.  WOOD, 

Geifl  Manager.  Gen'l  PassV  Agt. 

SAMUEL  CARPENTER,  Eastern  Pass.  Agt.,  849  Broadway,  X.  Y. 


The  Scenic  Route  to  the  Pacific  Coast. 


The  Finest  Dining  &  Sleeping  Gars  in  the  World 


Rates  via  this  route  are  from  $5.OO  to  $  1O.OO  Less  than 
via  other  lines. 

For  time  tables,  rates,  and  all  information  concerning  tickets 
to  St.  Paul,  Minneapolis  and  points  in  the  Northwest,  British 
Columbia,  Vancouver,  Victoria*  Seattle,  Tacoma,  San  Francisco 
and  other  Puget  Sound  or  California  Points,  apply  to  or  write, 

E.  V.  SKINNER, 

Cen.  Eastern  Agent, 

353  BROADWAY,  N.  Y. 


NEW  YORK  AND  NEW  ENGLAND 

RAILROAD- 


SHORTEST  LINE. 

Only  213  Miles  between  Hew  York  &  Boston. 

THE  NEW  ENGLAND  LIMITED, 
"THE  WHITE  TRAIN." 

Elegant  New  Equipment  built  by  Pullman  Palace  Car  Co., 
parlor  cars,  103'  al  buffet  smoking:  cars,  coaches  and  dining  cars. 
Entire  train  heated  by  steam  from  the  locomotive,  and  lighted 
by  Pmtsch  Gas  Lighting  System. 

Zntire  Train  Decorated  in  "White  and  Gold. 

Tlxe  :E3Isin.d.som.est  Train.  in.  tlie 

3.CO  P.  M,  WEEK-DAYS  ABD  SUNDAYS, 

BOSTOIfcT  e.OO  IE9 


This  ti-ain  runs  via  New  Haven  and  Willimantic  (Air  Line 
Route),  shortest  line  between  New  York  and  Boston. 

Meals  on  dining  cars  are  served  a  la  carte  or  table  d'hote  as 
patrons  may  desire. 

Parlor  Car  accommodations  at  Grand  Central  Depot  N.  Y., 
N  H.  &  H.  R.  R.,  New  York. 

For  tickets  and  further  information,  apply  at  offices  in  New 
Yoik  :  Grand  Central  Depot,  Windsor  Hotel,  Astor  House,  853 
Broadway,  and  principal  ticket  offices  South  and  West. 

CHARLES  HOWARD,  A.  C.  KENDALL, 

Geii'l  Manager.  Geu'l  Pass.  Agent. 


Great  Rock  Island  Route 

BETWEEN   THE 

ATLANTIUND  PACIFIC. 

SOLID  VESTIBULE  EXPRESS  TRAINS 
Between  Chicago  and  Council  Bluffs, 

AND  BETWEEN 

Chicago  &  Colorado  Springs,  Denver  &  PneMo, 

Via  St.  Joseph  or  Kansas  City  and  Topeka. 


Fast  Express  Trains  from  St.  Joseph  and  Kansas  City  to  Hor- 

ton,  Topeka,  Hutchinson,  Wichita,  Caldwell,  Kingfisher 

and  principal  points  in  Southern  Nebraska, 

Kansas,  Colorado  and  Indian  Territory. 

VIA  "ALBERT  LEA  ROUTE"  TO 
Spirit  Lake,  Sioux  Falls,  Watertown,  Minneapolis,  St.  Paul, 

and  all  points  North  and  West. 

Magnificent  Dining  and  Pullman  Palace  Sleeping  Cars  accom 
pany  all  Express  Trains. 

B.    ST.    TOUIiT, 

General  Manager, 

CHICAGO,  ILL. 

JOIESI^T    SErB-A-STI-A-aiT, 

General  Ticket  and  Passenger  Agt. 

CHICAGO,  ILL. 

A.  B-  FARNSWORTfl, 

General  Eastern  Passenger  Agent, 
257  BROADWAY.  NEW  YORK  CITY. 


Old  Dominion  Steamship  Do. 


New  York  for  Norfolk,  Petersburg,  Richmond,  Newport 
News,  "West  Point, 

OLD  POINT  COMFORT,  YA,,  AND  WASHINGTON,  D,  C,, 

From  Pier  23,  N.  E.  (New  No.)  Foot  of  Beach  St.,  IT.  I. 


NOTE. — All  steamers  sail  from  New  York  at  3.00  p.  m. 

Leave  New  York  (James  River  route)  every  Wed,  and  Sat.,  for 

Petersburg  and  Richmond, 
For  Norfolk  and  Portsmouth,  Ya,,  and  Washington,  D,  C,,  every 

Tuesday,  Wednesday,  Thursday  and  Saturday, 
For  Newport  News  &  the  West,  Tuesday,  Thursday  &  Saturday. 
For  West  Point,  Tuesday,  Thursday  and  Saturday, 

The  many  and  important  Railroad  connections  made  by  these 

Steamships  make  them  a  peculiarly  favorable  and 

important  route  to  and  from  the  South, 

South- West  and  West. 

These  Steamers  run  on  as  close  schedule  time  as  Railroad 
Trains,  and  delays  are  almost  unknown. 

This  Route  affords  the  most  delightful  Ocean  trip  on  the 
Atlantic  Coast, 

Tickets  for  sale  at  principal  Hotels  in  New  York,  at  first-class 

Ticket  Offices  in  the  South,  West,  North  and  East,  at  5, 

229,  257,  261,  287,  303,  362,  944  Broadway,  N.  Y.    The 

Windsor.  5th  Av.,  and  at  general  offices  of  Co. 

W.  H.  STANFORD,  C.  P.  A., 

235  West  St.,  cor.  Beach,  New  York. 

"A  FEW  FACTS,11  with  368  Questions  and  Answers,  17th 
Edition  Enlarged,  with  Maps  and  other  additions.  Copies  of 
this  book  can  be  obtained  on  application  at  Company's  Office. 


HAMBURG-AMERICAN  PACKET  CO. 


Shortest  route  to  London  and  the  Continent.  The  magnifi 
cent  new  twin-screw  express  steamers  AUGUSTA  VICTORIA, 
COLUMBIA,  NORMANNIA  and  FURST  BISMARCK,  of  10,000  tons 
and  12,500  to  16,000  horse-powers,  will  maintain  a  weekly  ex 
press  service  between  New  York,  Southampton  and  Hamburg, 
offering  the  American  public  the  convenience  of  reaching;  Eng 
land  and  the  Continent  with  a  degree  of  safety,  speed  and 
comfort  hitherto  unattainable. 

LONDON  is  reached  from  Southampton  by  rail  in  two  hours 
by  special  Hamburg- American  line  train.  Railroad  tickets  free 
for  passengers.  Landing  at  Southampton  is  free  from  all  dis 
comforts  often  experienced  at  other  ports. 

HAMBURG-,  next  to  Berlin,  the  most  important  city  in 
Germany,  and  a  railway  centre  in  frequent  and  direct  commu 
nication  with  all  parts  of  the  Continent. 

The  Hamburg-American  line  holds  the  record  for  fastest 
trips  to  Southampton,  viz.,  G  days,  15  hours,  equal  to  5  days,  23 
hours  to  Queenstown,  beating  all  eastward  records. 

There  is  no  overcrowding  on  this  line. 

Number  of  passengers  limited  to  seating  capacity. 

Apply  to  C.  B.  RICHARD  &  CO., 

General  Passenger  Agents. 

61  BROADWAY,  96  LA  SALLR  ST.,         225  E.  GERMAN  ST., 

New  York.  Chicago.  Baltimore. 


LINE. 


TO 

WILMINGTON,  IT.  C.     CHARLESTON,  S.  C. 
SAVANNAH,  GA, 

Jacksonville,  Fla.,  St.  Augustine,  Fla. 

TAMPA,  FLA.,  HAVANA,  CUBA. 
DOUBLE  DAILY  TRAINS 

BETWEEN 

NEW  YORK  AND  JACKSONVILLE, 

VIA 

WASHINGTON  AND  RICHMOND. 


Commencing  January  19,  1891, 

THE 

NEW  YORK  &  FLORIDA  SPECIAL 

'WILL  RUN  TRI-WEEKLTT, 

Mondays,   Wednesdays  and  Fridays, 

BETWEEN 

NEW  YORK  and  ST.  AUGUSTINE,  FLA. 

A  special  feature  of  this  Train  will  be  Cars  containing  Six 
Drawing  Rooms  each.  The  only  Cars  of  the  kind  in  the  world, 
and  built  especially  for  this  service. 

OFFICES  OF  THE  LINE: 

Boston,  -  -  223  "Washington  Street. 

New  York,  -  -  •  229  Broad-way. 

Philadelphia,  -  -  -  33  So.  Third  St. 

Baltimore,         -  -  233  East  German  St. 

Washington,  -  -          511  Fenna.  Avenue. 

Wilmington,  N.  C. 
H.  WALTERS,       T.  M.  EMERSON,       II.  M.  EMERSON, 

V.  P.  k  Gen'l  Manager.  Gen'l  Pass'r  Agent.  Ass't  Gtn'l  Pass'r  Agent. 

H.  P.  CLARK,  Gen'l  Eastern  Passenger  Agent, 

JONAH  H.  WHITE,  Eastern  Passenger  Agent, 
229  BROADWAY,  N.  Y. 


THE  PIONEER  LINE  OF  LONG  ISLAND  SOUND. 

Coverl  .g,  Through  its  Connections,  all  Points  North 
and  East. 

Steamers  City  of  Worcester,  Citj  of  Boston,  City  of  New  York, 
City  of  Lawrence  and  City  of  Norwich, 

From  Pier  40,  North  River,  foot  Canal  Street, 

DAILY,  EXCEPT  SUNDAY, 
At  4.3O  P.  M.  in  Winter  and  5.3O  in  Summer. 

Steamboat  Trains  leave  NEW  LONDON  at  3.35  and  5-00 
a.  in.,  arriving  in  BOSTON  in  ample  time  for  all  Eastein  trains. 
Worcester  and  Portland  Express  leaves  NEW  LONDON  nt  3:35 
a.  in.  to  WORCESTER  only  on  Sundays.  The  first  steamboat 
train  is  equipped  with  Reclining  Chairs,  for  which  no  charge  is 
made. 

Passengers  from  the  South  and  West,  via  Pennsylvania 
R.  R.,  can  procure  tickets  via  "Norwich  Line,"  and  avoid  the 
inconvenience  and  delays  of  carriage  transfer  in  New  Yoik,  as 
the  Steamers  of  this  Line  leave  from  Pier  adjoining  the  Des- 
brosses  Street  Ferry  of  Pennsylvania  R.  R. 

Returning  —Leaves  BOSTON,  from  New  York  &  New  Eng 
land  R.  R.  Depot,  daily,  except  Sunday,  at  6:35  p.  in.;  WOR 
CESTER  at  7:40  p.  in.,  connecting  at  NEW  LONDON  with 
steamer  arriving  in  NEW  YORK  at  7  -00  a.  in. 

WINTER  RATES-New  Yorfc  to  New  London,  $1.00  ;  Norwich,  $1.25; 

Worcester,  $2.00:  Boston,  $3.00. 
CORRESPONDING  REDUCTION  TO  ALL  POINTS. 


C3-.    TKT. 

Pier  40,  North  River, 

New  York. 

THOMAS  CLARK,  President,  Norwich,  Conn. 
0.  L.  JOHNSON,  Jr.,  Sec'y  and  Treas.,  Norwich,  Coun. 


PROVIDENCE  &  STONIMON  STEAMSHIP  CO. 


PROVIDENCE    i-IKE 

(MAY  TO  NOVEMBER.) 

STONINCTOM     1-INE 

(THROUGHOUT  THE  YEAR.) 

BETWEEN  HEW  YORK  AND  BOSTON. 


PHILADELPHIA, 

BALTIMORE, 

WASHINGTON, 

ALL  POINTS 

SOUTH  AND  WEST. 


f  PROVIDENCE, 

\  WORCESTER, 
AND       <  NASHUA, 

/  AND   ALL   POINTS 

(  NORTH  AND  EAST. 


Providence  Line. 


The  favorite  summer  route  to  all 

NEW  ENGLAND 

AND 

WHITE  MOUNTAIN 
POINTS. 

Steamers  leave  Old  Pier  29,  N.  R. 

at  5.30  P.  M.  daily,  except 

Sunday. 

J.  Y/.  MILLER,  Prest. 


Stonington  Line. 


The  inside  Winter  route  and  only 
direct  route  in  Summer  to 

WATCH  HILL 

AND 

Narragansett  Pier. 

Steamers  leave  New  Pier  36,  N.  R. 

at  4.30  P.  M.  in  Winter  and  5 

P.  M.  in  Summer,  daily 

except  Sunday. 

0.  H.  BRIGGS,  G.  P.  A. 


THE 

SHEHAHDOAH 

LIMITED, 


The  Quickest  and  Best  Train  between  the 
East  and  the  South  and  South-west, 

WITH 

THROUGH  PULLMAN  CARS 

Between  Philadelphia  and  Anniston,  Mont 
gomery,  Mobile  and  New  Orleans, 
via  Chattanooga. 

Lv.  NEW  YORK,  via  Penn.  R.  R 3.00p.m. 

PHILADELPHIA          "  5.22     " 

HARRISBURG,  via  Cam.  Valley  R.  R 8.45     " 

HAGERSTOWN,        "  "          "     11.15     " 

SHENANDOAH  JUNC 12.00  niplit. 

Ar.  LURAY,  via  S.  V.  R'y 2.15a.m. 

SHEXDUN  (the  Grottoes)  via  S.  V.  R'y 345    " 

NATURAL  BRIDGE  "          6.05" 

ROANOKE,  "          7.40   " 

Lv.  BRISTOL,  viaE.T.V.&G.  R'y 11.45    «' 

Ar.   KNOXVILLE,          "  "        3.45p.m. 

"  CHATTANOOGA  "      "   7.40  " 

Lv.  CHATTANOOGA  "      "   9.00  " 

"  AXNISTON,      "      "   2.05a.m. 

"    MONTGOMERY,  via  L.  &  N.  R.  R 6.25    " 

"    MOBILE,  "          "  "    11.45   " 

"    NEW  ORLEANS,    "          "  "    3.55p.m. 

B.    \V.   WRENN, 

General  Pass.  Agent  E.  T.  V.  &  G.  R'y, 

Knoxville,  Teiin. 


Raymond's  Vacation  Excursions. 

ALL  TKAVELING  EXPENSES  INCLUDED, 

Special  Trains  of  Magnificent  Pullman  Palace  Vestibuled 
Cars,  with  a  Complete  Dining  Car  Service. 

Leave  Ne*v  York,  Boston  and  Philadelphia  for 

CALIFORNIA 

at  intervals  of  two  and  three  weeks  during  the  winter  months. 
Passengers  can  prolong  their  stay  to  suit,  returning  on  vesti 
bule  trams  on  advertised  dates,  or  regular  ones  till  July. 

Competent  conductors  in  charge  of  each  party. 

Every  ticket  entitles  the  holder  to  visit  Los  Angeles,  The 
Raymond,  at  East  Pasadena,  Redlands,  Riverside,  San  Diego, 
Redondo  Beach,  Santa  Barbara,  San  Francisco,  Santa  Cruz, 
Monterey,  San  Jose,  Mount  Hamilton,  San  Rafael,  and  other 
leading  resorts  in  California.  A  choice  of  four  different  routes 
returning.  Eleven  returning  parties  under  special  escort.  Inde 
pendent  tickets,  covering  every  expense  both  ways,  giving  en 
tire  freedom  to  the  passenger  while  in  California,  and  also  in 
making  the  journey  homeward.  Hotel  coupons  supplied  for 
long  or  short  sojourns  at  The  Raymond,  East  Pasadena  ;  Hotel 
Del  Monte,  Monterey  ;  Hotel  Vendome,  San  Jose;  Palace  Hotel, 
San  Francisco;  Hotel  Del  Coronada,  San  Diego;  Hotel  Rafael, 
San  Rafael ;  Santa  Cruz;  The  Arlington  and  San  Marcos,  Santa 
Barbara;  Hotel  Redondo  Redondo  Beach;  and  other  famous 
Pacific  Coast  resorts.  Additional  personally  conducted  Tours  to 
Mexico,  Alaska,  Sandwich  Islands,  and  Summer  Excursions  of 
five  to  twenty  days,  visiting  Eastern  resorts  and  the  Yellow 
stone  National  Park. 

Send  for  descriptive  circulars,  designating  whether  book  re 
lating  to  California,  Mexico  or  other  tours  is  desired. 

RAYMOND  &  WHITCOMB, 


THIS  BOOK  IS  DUE  ON  THE  LAST  DATE 
STAMPED  BELOW 


RENEWED  BOOKS  ARE  SUBJECT  TO  IMMEDIATE 
RECALL 


LIBRARY,  UNIVERSITY  OF  CALIFORNIA,  DAVIS 


Book  Slip-25m-6,'66(G3855s4)458 


N*  194043 

Shelley,  M.M.- 

Blobson's  dire 
mishaps  in  a  barn 
storming  company. 


PS2809   HI 
B5      H 


LIBRARY 

UNIVERSITY  OF  CALIFORNIA 
DAVIS 


